This Week’s Recovery Application Challenge
Please be sure to complete this week’s TWIRL 025 prior to advancing to this TWRAC.
Managing Anger & Resentment
What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure. James 4:1-3 (NLT)
For this TWRAP exercise, let’s develop an ACTION PLAN to manage anger and resentment in the same way you developed an Action Plan to problem solve.
Develop an Action Plan
1-Identify a current problem or conflict resulting in anger
- Describe a problem that is present in your life that results in your being angry
- How has the problem led to feelings of anger?
- What does the anger feel like?
2-Recall events and circumstances in play when the problem/conflict started
- When did the problem begin?
- What relationships are involved with this problem?
- What were the events and circumstances leading up to the problem?
- What are the current circumstances as the result of the problem?
3-Examine how you are affected by the problem/conflict
- How are you affected physically and psychologically by the problem?
- How are the circumstances of your life affected by the problem?
4-Examine who else is affected by the problem/conflict
- What relationships are most affected by the problem?
- How would you say those relationships are affected physically and psychologically by the problem as far as you can tell? (Be specific)
- What other relationships are affected by the problem?
- How are those relationships affected by the problem?
5-Examine the first thing you did to try and solve the problem/conflict
- What were you thinking you needed to do to solve the problem?
- What did you think you needed to do to feel better while in the problem?
- What did you attempt to do to solve the problem?
- What did you do to feel better while in the problem?
- Did you solve the problem?
- Did the circumstances around and because of the problem get better, become worse, or stay the same? Explain.
6-Examine other things you did to try and solve the problem/conflict
- What else were you thinking you needed to do to solve the problem?
- What else did you think you needed to do to feel better while in the problem?
- What else did you attempt to do to solve the problem?
- What else did you do to feel better while in the problem?
- Did you solve the problem?
- Did the circumstances around and because of the problem get better, become worse, or stay the same? Explain.
7-Look back to other times when you had a similar problem/conflict
- When in your life did you experience a similar problem?
- How was the problem similar?
- What relationships were involved while experiencing the similar problem?
- What were the events and circumstances regarding the problem at that time?
8-Examine what you recall doing to attempt to solve the problem/conflict
- What did you do to attempt to solve the similar problem?
- How was what you did to attempt to solve that problem similar to what you have done so far to attempt to solve this current problem?
- How was what you did to attempt that problem different from what you have done so far to attempt to solve this current problem?
9-Examine how you and others were affected by that previous similar problem
- How were you affected physically and psychologically by that similar problem?
- How were you affected by what you did to attempt to solve that problem?
- How would you say those relationships were affected physically and psychologically by the problem as far as you can tell? (Again, be specific)
10-Consider how confident are you that you can solve your current problem/conflict without a working action plan
- On a scale of 0-100 (100 being most), what is your confidence level that you can solve your current problem on your own your way without an effectively working action plan?
11-Develop an action plan with a minimum of three very specific steps
- Using as many steps as it will take, begin outlining action steps that you believe are necessary to solve your current problem resulting in you being angry. Be thinking about how you will work the Admit, Believe, Commit strategy into your action steps.
- Be specific! “I will to pray more”, or “I will communicate more effectively with my spouse”, or “I will drink less/quit drinking”, or “I will quit smoking”, or “I will show more respect to my spouse”, or “I will stop this or that” are not sufficient on their own.
- Be specific of what you will do, how you will do it, and when you will do it for each step.
12-Prognosis for resolution of the problem/conflict without your action plan
- What is the best case scenario for continuing the course you were on solving your problem in your way without the steps in your action plan?
- What is the worst case scenario?
- Of the two potential outcomes, which is the most likely scenario?
13-Prognosis for successful resolution of the problem/conflict with your action plan
- What is the best case scenario for continuing the course you were on solving your problem in your way without the steps in your action plan?
- What is the worst case scenario?
- Of the two potential outcomes, which is the most likely scenario?
14-Consider what it all looks like when your problem/conflict is solved having implemented your plan God’s way
- How will working your action steps impact your physical and psychological health?
- How will working your action steps improve your spiritual health?
- How will the affected relationships in your life be better?
- How will your circumstances be better?
- How can you apply the fundamental elements of your action plan to other problems and circumstances?
- How can you apply the ABC strategy from your action plan into an overall approach to daily recovery?
- How would you describe the opportunity for a better future living out your action plan for recovery God’s way?
15-Examine your confidence level that you will solve your problem/conflict working through your action plan
- On a scale of 0-100 (100 being most), what is your confidence level that you can solve your current problem on God’s way through your action plan empowered by the One able, willing, and wanting to help you?
- Since fear and doubt are your human nature, take the time now to pray for an increase in faith so that you can grow in confidence.
- Regardless of your confidence level, begin to implement your action plan immediately.
Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 (NLT)
If you engage and invest with full participation in your action plan, it is entirely possible for you to manage anger and resentment effectively. Take the time right now to pray and ask God for the grace and confidence to carry out your Action Plan to fully achieve you objectives.
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