Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:21-24 (NLT)
By now, participants of NLX 101 have developed some of the most effective tools for faith-driven Christ-centered recovery. They began this course learning to identify the root issues and concerns of their life’s problems. They have come to understand that at the core of it all is your dissatisfaction that is rooted in their selfishness, which they know to be MEdom. They have learned that their brain is in perpetual GO drive and that the cautionary mechanisms of the brain tend to be impaired to one degree or another. They understand, of course, that as much as you would like to be in control of how it all works, that in actuality that they have very little control; and in terms of the big picture, they have no control; except perhaps the control to choose to let go of what feels natural to them and choose to reach for and hold onto the spiritual reality of what God can and will do in their lives if they let Him.
As participants continually live out the Biblically sound ABC strategy for recovery, they will continue to experience the transformative power of God to empower them to consistency in the discipline of their journey. What good would it be to have a surges or spikes in their lives that are really good for awhile, when others noticed something was different about them, something wonderful, only to have that wonderful change fade over time until things are closer to what they were before the positive changes in their lives. In the world of addiction, that fading from active recovery to the way things were is called relapse.
Relapse Prevention
In order to maintain transformative consistency and to prevent relapse, it is necessary to recall the addictive “stinking” thinking that resulted from perpetual discontentment and the need for a remedy. Once the addictive thought has been addressed, it is necessary to identify the feeling that is evoked by the addictive thought. We might refer to these feelings as addictive feelings. From these addictive thoughts and feelings, it is our nature to justify in our mind addictive behavior, and within our selfish sin nature to then act on those addictive impulses. That would be relapse.
In the clinical addiction field, it is said that relapse is a part of recovery. It is. However, there are some in the religious sector and church leadership that would say that once a person is truly delivered from a lifestyle of addiction, they are set free in relationship with Christ and relapse will not occur so long as the “recovered” addict actively functions in the precepts of authentic faith. The problem is that as long as “recovered” people are not God living on planet earth, they carry inside of them the “bacteria” of the disease of selfishness and continue to be selfish, requiring the need for the Savior all of the time. Transformative ABC recovery must be applied daily to maintain consistency and prevent relapse. The reality is that those clergy who resist the disease reality of addiction, in a sense, deny the reality of our fallen humanity. Those same clergy relapse everyday that they participate in actions of selfish thoughts, feelings, and behavior that prove to be sinful. That really is no different than the recovering alcoholic that has a drink. It’s no different than the drug addict that relapses, or the recovering sex addict that relapses, or the recovering food addict or gambler that relapses. We relapse everyday to one degree or another from our recovery from our selfishness that leaves us feeling dissatisfied.
NLX 101 acknowledges that we relapse in our recovery from selfishness everyday. This lesson targets the addictive thoughts and feelings that on the surface feel like they justify a relapse into addictive selfish (sinful) behavior. This Relapse Prevention plan takes a look back those events, thoughts, and feelings that lead to feelings and thoughts of ambivalence that appeal to our selfish sin nature and form resistance to the repentant attitude needed for effective recovery. It is important, then, to reconsider the reasonable consequences and risk of loss associated with selfish addictive behavior. Relapse Justification exercises are then followed up with Relapse Challenge exercises that will fit compatibly the participants’ Problem-Solving Action Plans that incorporate the ABC strategy for transformative recovery.
Avoid Triangulation and Codependency
Codependency occurs when another person takes at least some responsibility and ownership of your recovery, or when you become responsible and “owner” of another’s recovery. Codependents come to believe that everything they do to help the dependent (addict) is for the dependent’s benefit and in the dependent’s best interest. What is actually occurring is that codependents have their own agenda for relieving their own anxiety, which leads to their own illness in the process of attempting to fix the dependent, or to clean up the mess left by the dependent. The result of codependent behavior may indeed be the temporary relief of the codependent’s immediate anxiety (and perhaps bringing temporary relief to the dependent’s immediate anxiety), but in actuality promotes and adds to the perpetual anxiety caused by the problem of dependent (addictive) and codependent behavior; something the clinical addiction and recovery field refers to asenabling. The dependent and codependent will often times switch roles during the course of obsessive thinking and compulsive and addictive behavior.
This discussion of dependent and codependent behavior is not exclusive to more obvious addictive behaviors, but includes selfish sin addictions that are inclusive to all people that are not God. Dependent and codependent behavior occurs in every household on some level everyday. A very destructive element of codependency is triangulation where codependents seek to relieve their immediate anxiety by dragging others into codependent relationship triangles deemed necessary to avoid confrontation between dependent and codependent parties. Participants will respond to discussion questions that will help them to recognize these trends in their relationships so that they can work to avoid them, as well as to resolve this problem when it occurs.
Community Support
Participants, through questions and discussion in this lesson, are encouraged and challenged to identify opportunities for recovery support in the recovery community where they live. They are encouraged and challenged to continue participation in that supportive recovery community. Their support community should include participation at a local church (highly recommended). It is necessary to recovery that they participate in a support group in the town where they live or a neighboring town.
Ongoing support, time spent reading the Word of God in Scripture, and continuous daily prayer are no doubt symbiotic with effective, fruitful, and consistent transformative recovery. And consistent transformative recovery is tantamount to a satisfied new life experience, fulfilled in the resources of gracious sovereign God.