Who Touched Me? (Revolutionary Faith)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

“Why don’t we trust God?” Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.” Faith comes from hope being realized in substance according to the evidence. We don’t see gravity but we experience gravity all the time. We know the truth about gravity and come to trust it even though we do not see it. It could be said that we have a relationship with gravity. Our lives are touched by gravity everyday.

The truth is that freedom is achieved through a revolutionary event. ‘Revolutionary’ means a sudden, radical, or complete change; a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something; a change in paradigm (belief, world view), meaning your standard for living. A sudden revelation of faith having encountered the Savior, Jesus Christ, will speak life into how you experience revolutionary transformative recovery in how you live everyday—a new standard of thinking and living, with healthy hopeful expectations. It is in relationship with Jesus that you will come to know God to be real and living. It is in relationship with Christ that you enter into the new age of grace that will usher you into the experience of new life.

So, what is it to truly trust God? What is it to experience the substance and the evidence that leads to knowledge of what is true? We don’t trust in what we don’t know. We trust in what we know, even when we cannot see what we know by experience to be true. We experience what we don’t see all the time; therefore we know it’s real. While we learn to trust in what we do not see, we put our faith in what we know by experience to be true.

When we don’t trust God it’s because we don’t really know God. You know, we don’t see wind either but we see and experience evidence of it. The howling of the wind that we hear is not actually the wind but the obstruction that is resistant to the wind. If we moved in harmony with the wind we would not hear it. God in a way is like the wind wanting to have impact on our lives by experience. When we resist the wind that is God we will hear the howling of our resistance in our circumstances that prove so dissatisfying. When we’re moving with God, we will hear God but the circumstances of our lives won’t be so loud. The more we know God the more we’ll trust Him, and the more confidence we’ll have when we communicate with Him—and the less we will resist His influence in our life experiences. Then we will experience the wonderful life benefits of our faith.

A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding, and she could find no cure. Coming up behind Jesus, she touched the fringe of his robe. Immediately the bleeding stopped. “Who touched me?” Jesus asked. Everyone denied it, and Peter said, “Master, this whole crowd is pressing up against you.” But Jesus said, “Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me.” When the woman realized that she could not stay hidden, she began to tremble and fell to her knees in front of him. The whole crowd heard her explain why she had touched him and that she had been immediately healed. “Daughter,” he said to her, “your faith has made you well. Go in peace.” Luke 8:43-48 (NLT)

This sick woman had a serious problem. She desperately needed help. She believed Jesus Christ had the power to heal her body. She believed Christ could radically improve her circumstance. As Jesus walked through her town amidst the crowd, this woman battled her way through. Just as it seemed the moment was passing her by, she reached out to Jesus and missed him as he passed. She whiffed, barely clipping the hem at the fringe of his robe. Her heart sank. But in a split second, the woman went from that devastating sinking feeling to knowing absolutely that she had been delivered from severe affliction. Jesus blessed her with his power even when he wasn’t actually paying attention to her.

Jesus experienced it as well as he sought out the one determined to receive from him what he so lovingly desired to give. Something changed. Now the woman, formerly living in the shame of being and feeling unclean, was hoping to slip away in obscurity. Perhaps this little miracle would remain between her and God. But Jesus, loving her, wanted to know her and went looking for her; asking for her. He was fervent in finding her and he did find her. Touched by his healing power (the evidence), the woman then met Jesus, personally, and then was touched by his compassion and love (the substance). She began to tremble and fell to her knees in front of him. What you have here is a love story in relationship with Jesus Christ. Transformative faith when finally realized through an experience with Jesus is indeed a compelling love story to be shared again and again.

We can have difficulty trusting Jesus in relationship with him because we do not see him. When we imagine what he looks like, we might picture him suffering on a cross reminding us of our shame. According to Scripture, though, we are free from our shame and Jesus is on his throne as God in full glory wanting relationship with us. To visualize what he looks like, read Revelation 1. Even as a man with human limitations, Jesus “inadvertently” healed a woman who touched only his clothing. Jesus walked in the authority of his Father.

Jesus is no longer a man in one place at one time walking the earth. Jesus is God roaming the universe while dwelling in the hearts and lives of all that know him. Do you really know him who stands at the door of your heart knocking (Revelation 3:20)? He knows you’re home and he’d love to come in and spend time with you. Have you really let him in—all the way in where he can hang out with you, experientially? Are you experiencing God in your life? What is the evidence of your experience with Jesus? Do you experience the substance of what you hope for? Do you reach out with the determination to touch Jesus? Have you experienced in your life the touch of God?

Jesus loves you! Go after him fervently. He’s fervently looking for you. Scripture tells us that he responds to fervent prayer. Go after God, telling him what you want until you receive from him. The woman in the Bible fought against substantial opposition to get to Jesus. The sick woman never gave up as she pursued him until she got what she wanted—what she needed only from him. It was the faith of the woman that motivated and empowered her to seek what she wanted from Christ Jesus—to be made well and whole again. It was the faithfulness of Christ Jesus that compelled him to pursue what he wanted from her—a relationship in love with his daughter.

Jesus is your Sympathetic Savior. He knows you and sympathizes with your discomfort (Hebrews 4:14-16). He is paying special attention to you. You cannot sneak up on him. But sometimes things get in the way and try to prevent you from touching Christ with your prayers. How badly do you want what God has for you? What do you believe about God, really? Go after it. Go after him until he turns to ask the angels, “Who touched me?” And the angel says, “Are you kidding? There’s so much commotion everywhere! How can you ask, ‘Who touched me’?” And then Jesus says, “I have felt compassion and love as power has left me because someone deliberately came looking for me.” Be confident that Jesus loves you and loves to bless you from his abundant wealth—the resources of heaven. All that is his is yours. Do you believe it? Do you want it? You have direct access to God through Jesus Christ. Pursue him fervently. After all, you can bet that he is pursuing you.

Whoosh!

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

Why don’t we trust God? Is it because we struggle to entirely believe?

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.” Faith comes from hope being realized in substance according to the evidence. We don’t see gravity but we experience gravity all the time. We know the truth about gravity and come to trust it even though we do not see it. It could be said that we have a relationship with gravity. Our lives are touched by gravity everyday.

The truth is that freedom is achieved through a revolutionary event. ‘Revolutionary’ means a sudden, radical, or complete change; a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something; a change in paradigm (belief, world view), meaning your standard for living. A sudden revelation of faith having encountered the Savior, Jesus Christ, will speak life into how you experience revolutionary transformative recovery in how you live everyday—a new standard of thinking and living, with healthy hopeful expectations. It is in relationship with Jesus that you will come to know God to be real and living. It is in relationship with Christ that you enter into the new age of grace that will usher you into the experience of new life.

Dean, a 135 pound man in his mid-thirties, has been dependent on alcohol for the better part of twenty years. Beer was his drug of choice and until recently, he was drinking 15-20 beers alone each night in a period of 4-6 hours until about 10:30 or so at night before he would make his way to bed and crash until his alarm went off early the next morning.Each beer contains one ounce of alcohol, so Dean was consuming 15-20 ounces of alcohol each evening after he arrived home from work. The body metabolizes about one ounce of alcohol per hour. Since he may have metabolized 4-5 ounces of alcohol in the hours he was drinking, Dean had 10-15 beers in his system when he fell asleep, resulting in dangerous blood alcohol levels.

This occurred everyday for a number of years. It should be said too that Dean, having metabolized between six to eight beers from the time he passed out until the time he left for work, likely had between four and as many as eight beers still in his system when he left for work, meaning his blood alcohol level could still be as much or more than twice the legal limit as he drove into work. Dean reported to me there were times when he saw yellow in his eyes, which could have been the result of some liver damage. Eventually, he would have severe alcohol-related physical problems if he continued using alcohol while increasing his use.

Dean was a functioning alcoholic, meaning that he never missed work, got to work on time, babysat grandchildren, and so on. He knows now that his alcoholism would have escalated and that he would have an increase in severity of his problems related to alcohol use had he continued to use. Dean realized it was a matter of time before he would not be able to consume enough beer in his allotted time to drink, and he would likely drink more often during daytime hours. He also recognized the likelihood that he would not be able to consume enough beer needed to achieve the feeling he was after, and would need to include harder liquor with much heavier alcohol content, perhaps mixed with his beer to achieve desired results. Dean sure enjoyed his beer.

Dean had already lost one marriage due mostly to alcohol and drug-related problems and had been estranged from his teenage daughter for a couple of years, due in large part from his own shame and feeling like he was unworthy to be her dad. When his current wife of five years finally told him to choose between their marriage and his love for beer, Dean decided to get help. His wife contacted me at Heritage Counseling Center because we believe recovery from alcohol and drug dependence centers on a life-changing relationship with God.

A consideration for Dean coming to Heritage was that he had very little church background and had very little understanding about God. One might say that convincing Dean that Jesus was real, alive, and involved in his life, would be the equivalent of suggesting that Santa Claus was real, alive, and involved in his life—that Dean should pray to Santa and trust Santa for transformative power. Dean agreed to come to Heritage because we were in his insurance network through his Employee Assistance Program. One thing that Dean did understand was that he was spiritually bankrupt in his addiction to alcohol. Dean needed hospitalization in a detox unit to help him endure the symptoms of acute withdrawal. He was then admitted to our five-week intensive outpatient program (IOP) at Heritage.

I had the opportunity to share with Dean why Jesus Christ was the One—the only One—capable and willing to empower him to a life of recovery from an insurmountable addiction to alcohol. Dean would have to transition from disbelief to belief. He would have to agree that Jesus not only lived but suffered and died for his selfishness and weakness, and that Jesus arose from the dead. Dean would have to find the account of the empty tomb to be compelling enough that it is possible that this story of an event some two thousand years ago might just be true.

I told Dean that ancient historical manuscripts of literature confirm the life and death of Jesus. I told Dean about the historical accuracy of the movement (perceived by political and religious leaders as a rebellion) Jesus led against the oppressive religious hierarchy that was supported by the Roman government. I told Dean about the claims by Jesus to be the Son of God with claims of resurrection from the dead three days after his execution—claims uncontested by historical accounts.  I told him that historical literature documents that the tomb was heavily guarded with some two dozen trained and skilled Roman soldiers so as to not allow any room or opportunity for sabotage concerning the body of Jesus lying in the tomb. I told him that a massive stone weighing one and a half to two tons was used to seal a large hole dug into the side of a cave. I told Dean that the most ancient of historical manuscripts are in agreement that the tomb was in fact empty by the third day since the crucifixion of Jesus. I told him that there are historical accounts of Jewish witnesses of resurrected Jesus who sacrificed everything—their birthrights, marriages and families, inheritances, etc.—to do nothing more than speak the truth about there experience. Many of those eyewitnesses were executed in martyrdom for speaking the truth of what they experienced first hand.

Dean accepted that I would not deliberately deceive or misguide him, but what if I was misguided by some religious hoax? What then? How would this God or this Jesus empower him to recovery from his marriage and family killing disease that was also destined to destroy him, body, mind, and spirit?

While in his first week of treatment, Dean was on his way home from his IOP session when he was overcome by his urge to drink. He felt that on a scale of ten his compulsion to drink was at least 20. He was determined to stop at the gas station to buy his cigarettes and beer. At the same time, he became very afraid that doing so would cost him his marriage…again. This was an excruciating dilemma for Dean as he wrestled with ambivalent feelings of immense proportion and consequence. If he did not consume alcohol, he would go insane, literally; yet if he did drink, he would not be able to stop and he’d lose his wife, whom he loved dearly. Dean cried out, “Jesus, I don’t know if you’re real, but Steve sure believes you are,” as he prayed out loud to the God of Steve. Little did Dean know, but he was praying to the God of Dean.

“Jesus, let me do the impossible”

Dean said to Jesus, “If you’re real, come into my life and take away my need to drink.” Then suddenly, something happened to him. He said it was like a “whoosh” hit him that he could not explain. He said he felt different in some way. It was like letting air out of the balloon of his enormous urge to drink. Dean knew right then and there that the same Jesus that arose from the dead changed his mind as he cried out to him. Jesus Christ empowered Dean to do what was not possible in his own ability.

Pastor Fran Leeman (LifeSpring Community Church, Plainfield, IL)  preached a sermon about Peter walking on water. Peter and the disciples were sailing in the midst of a terrible storm when he saw Jesus, apparently standing out on the water. How was this possible? How could a man stand on the water? Peter shouted out, “Jesus, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes come,” Jesus said (Matthew 14:28-29, NLT). Pastor Leeman pointed out that he would have yelled out in a panic, “Jesus, if it’s you, calm the storm!” He said he would have wanted to see the evidence that it was Jesus, but that Peter took a much different approach. Rather than ask Jesus to prove himself real by doing the impossible, Peter asked Jesus to empower him, Peter, to do the impossible by the authority and power given him by Jesus. What profound truth.

My client Dean did this. He didn’t have anymore faith than to ask Jesus, “Is it really you?” “Are you real?” “Will you help me?” Jesus answered, “Yes, come.” Then Jesus, who spoke creation into existence with complete authority, blessed Dean with the power and the authority to do the impossible by the power given him. Dean did not have faith, really. What did he know? What Dean had was hope that Jesus was real and that he’d show up. When we know that we have no other choice but to trust God for the impossible, even when our faith is lacking and unsure, when we need a miracle, he will grant us the power to do the impossible; to move a mountain. Dean moved a mountain that night. Praise God!

Dean was giddy with assurance as he recounted the story of his miraculous drive home from treatment the night before. He reported having a genuine sense of enthusiasm and anticipation for his treatment and a life free of alcohol. For Dean, that was already a departure from his “normal” way of thinking. In an instant, Jesus Christ changed Dean’s mind. Dean had no doubt that Jesus is real. His attitude about sobriety was completely changed.

Dean learned to make sense of the ABCs of recovery from a life filled with alcohol and drug addiction with all of its disappointment and conflict. Dean would tell you himself that as he admitted to God that he was not in control of his life and powerless to do anything about it except pray for help to do the impossible, that God was faithful. He confessed to Jesus Christ that he was lost in his addictive sin, like the wayward son of the Bible (Luke 15), and that he believed that Jesus could help him and give him the ability to turn away from alcohol. He experienced the loving embrace of Jesus Christ that night. Relationship with Christ became real in one whoosh. Hope was realized and faith emerged and began to grow into something real. Dean, then, told God, and also declared it to me, that he committed his life to doing the will of God as really the only way to get right with God, with his wife, and live one day at a time sober.

When I taught Dean the principle of offering his body to God as a living sacrifice by the function and activity of his life in support of his recovery, he clearly understood. Remember, Dean does not come from a “churched-up” background. He is not someone that prayed or believed much more about God than maybe what he imagined God to be. When I talked to him about God wanting to transform his entire character into something new by the renewing of his mind, Dean grinned wide and said emphatically, “God’s already doing that.” He went on to say he thinks differently and that he “feels it.”

Dean was walking on water. When talking about how his priorities have changed, Dean talked about his relationship with God as his top priority. When talking about the benefits of a lifestyle of recovery, Dean talked about having the “love of God” in his life as the most meaningful benefit. One doesn’t typically talk about the love of God unless he has experienced the love of God changing his life.

I told Dean that with our commitment and faithfulness to working a disciplined program of recovery, according to the ABC model of transformative recovery demonstrated by Jesus himself, he would not only get well but experience the abundant blessing promised to anyone committed to living out the will of God. Dean now has the upper hand in winning the battle for his mind.

Trusting God in the details

Dean totally believed me and believed the Word of God because of the resurrection from the death in his own life he was already experiencing. Dean told me a testimony of God doing something special to affirm his faith. Dean’s is a team leader at his current position where he leads a team that maintains production machinery in a plant outside of Chicago. On a Saturday, a member of his team was working to repair a machine and having quite a bit of difficulty. It was hot in the plant (over 100 degrees), working Saturday was overtime, and nerves were getting frayed the longer it took, and the more complicated the repair seemed to become as Dean and this team member worked together to repair this machine. The longer it took to fix the thing the more behind they were in production. When it felt like the day was getting away from them going on 1:00 in the afternoon, Dean and the other guy were really at a loss for what to do. They tried everything they knew and nothing worked.

Dean thought to pray. He even thought of his ABCs of recovery and admitted to God that his way of handling the situation was not working. He felt powerless and told God that he believed that he could help somehow. He then committed to trusting God. It might have seemed to be a bit of a stretch to expect divine intervention for a machine, but… Then, just before 1:00, only minutes after Dean prayed for God’s help, the phone rang. It was an engineer who works for the company calling Dean just to ask how he was doing. The guy was calling from Ohio on a Saturday when Dean is rarely working at the plant, which seems a bit unusual to me. Dean told this engineer he was doing alright but that he was really having difficulty with a machine, and proceeded to explain the problem. The man on the phone made a few suggestions on what to do with the machine and in less than ten minutes after following the instructions of the engineer, they completed the repair and the machine worked wonderfully. Dean thanked the engineer, and then thanked God, who he believes directed this man to call him on Saturday.

Dean has admitted to me over the past year that he has had occasion to slip in his journey of recovery from alcohol addiction. Even Peter, while walking with Jesus, had occasion to slip and sink like a rock, but then he cried out again, “Jesus save me (again).” And Jesus took his hand, back up to where he is, to continue walking on water, doing the impossible by the power given by Christ.

The difference these days for Dean is that slipping back into addictive behaviors is a deft reminder that he is only as strong as his relationship with God. Dean now recognizes that falling does not have to mean failure. Rather than succumb to the death grip of shame, which could drag him back into that addictive lifestyle, Dean resumes the discipline of recovery, beginning and continuing in prayer. The transforming power of a renewed mind has empowered Dean to get up and do the right thing when he gets knocked down from time to time. He does not experience the “whoosh” like he did that first time he encountered God but he doesn’t need that anymore. Now he knows what the evidence of the unseen looks like. Each time he goes his own way and sinks, like Peter, Dean understands that it is when he extends his hand to Jesus, again and again, that he resumes walking on the water that is recovery.

Dean, who had not seen his daughter for more than two years, has been restored into relationship with her. This is one dividend of his recovery. What a blessing it is to see recovery pay off in a manner as blessed as the reunion between a father and his daughter. God is paying attention to the details in our lives and is in the business of reconciliation and recovery.

Keep in mind that these stories are not about the miracles. This stuff is kids’ stuff to God. These stories are about a Savior who keeps after his followers; a Shepherd who looks after his sheep; a Father who dotes on his children. The amazing thing about Almighty God is that he chooses out of love to have a relationship with us. All you need to remember is that it’s not about the “wow!” of the miracle; it’s about the passion within the relationship. God is passionately in love and involved with us.

God is indeed awesome!

Dean’s face lit up big time when I offered him this Scripture from the book of Ephesians.

“For this reason I bow my knees to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…that He would grant you according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may be alive in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in His love, may be able to comprehend with all believers what is the width, depth, length and height—to know the love of Christ which is beyond knowledge; and that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or think, according to His power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Jesus Christ to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”Ephesians 3:14, 16-20 (NKJV)

The Recovery Bible (NLT) reads that God will do “what we dare to ask or even hope for.” Other Bible translations say that he will do “more than we could ask or even imagine.” God does desire to bless us beyond our wildest expectation. However, we must be fully surrendered to God to allow his Spirit to dwell, or live, in our inner man, the core of our being and character, to change how we think by the renewing of our mind.

I have had a number of clients over the years that have experienced wonderful blessing as they committed to turning their lives over to the care and will of God. Dean is a client that experienced that kind of incredible blessing in his life as testimony of God’s bountiful grace. He described God’s blessing to a co-worker as three miracles:

1) “I’m not drinking.”

2) “I’m still with my wife after all the pain I’ve brought her.”

3) “I’m reunited with my daughter.”

Dean has said that he can appreciate that as he commits himself to God by how he behaves and submits himself to God from the outside in, he can sense God working in him from the inside out. As he has committed himself to living his recovery God’s way, a transformation has taken place and the overhaul of Dean’s character continues as God continues to radically change his way of thinking from the inside out. In this relationship with Christ is victory in the battleground of the mind. As distorted thought and feelings return from time to time, Dean has discovered that he longer reacts automatically to them. He’s mindful to pray and patient to trust God.

Expanding the battleground

As of this writing, it has been two years since Dean was in my program. I was able to chat with him and talk to him about his more recent journey in recovery. He stated that there have been ups and downs along the way but that God has been faithful. He said, “God still loves us, doesn’t he.”

I shared with him what I had heard from the pulpit from Pastor Leeman about Peter walking on water empowered by God’s authority. Dean agreed; that is what God does, granting Dean the power to do the impossible. Dean said it reminds him of the time not that long ago when he had opportunity to extend his knowledge—that from a renewed mind—with a co-worker who had lost his wallet for a time. Dean asked him, “Did you pray?” He then challenged his co-worker to give prayer a chance. Dean told the man of the time when he had lost his own wallet. He had looked everywhere he could think of and did not find it anywhere. It seemed that finding his wallet would be impossible. That was until Dean prayed. You see, Dean’s mind had completely changed about prayer since Christ transformed his life. Dean prays believing. When Dean prays, he expects God to respond in some way. Dean promptly found his wallet in a place he had not thought to look.

Dean’s co-worker on the other hand did not have the faith to believe. This is how the twelfth of the twelve steps works. The twelfth step is as follows: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Earlier on, Dean had prayed to the “God of Steven”. Now Dean, having confident knowledge of the will of God to recover lost lives, saw an opportunity to help a co-worker discover the faithfulness of Jesus Christ through the recovery of his wallet. The man prayed to the “God of Dean”, and after being without his wallet for weeks, had it returned to him the very next day. Everything was still in it. Even the cash in his wallet was all there.

Dean had extended the blessing given him by God to another individual in need of a blessing. The man experienced God. Not merely the God of Dean, but the God who is attentive and involved with everyone. Dean expanded the territory of battle. With the upper hand in the battleground for his own mind it was time to take the fight for freedom beyond himself. Now there is another out there considering the realities of Almighty God. That is how recovery works. God still loves us, doesn’t he?

BRAINWASHED into Something Beautiful… New Life

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

The first two steps of the Twelve Step model state the following:
1. We admitted we were powerless over addiction* – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

* “addiction” is substituted for the word “alcohol”

Step Three of the Twelve Steps says, “Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” Many will say that this is the Commitment or Surrender Step. I have said that and will continue to say it. It is probably more accurate to state, though, that Step Three is the decision to surrender. It is steps four through twelve that one acts out surrender and commitment in recovery. 

It is often said that this third step is the most difficult of the twelve, which is understandable… you know… because it’s about commitment and surrender and all that. Let me suggest that when one is truly working in the truth of the first three steps that step 3 is the simplest step of the twelve. Step three is the only thing left to possibly do and is an instinctual response to the first two steps.

If you were trapped in a burning building where flames are everywhere and out of control, calling for help hoping that maybe someone will hear you, and in your moment of despair, through the intense flames and thick smoke, the fireman appears and says to you, “follow me!” What will you do? Are you at all reluctant? Why is it that when the fireman appears fully equipped to rescue you that you may cling to all that you believe you can save… which, by the way, is all on fire… when you can’t even save yourself? The fireman says, “Follow me!” and you say, “I appreciate that you can help me but I am better off on my own. I won’t burn, I’ve got this. I am all that I need.” On the other hand, if you recognized and then admitted that you are utterly powerless in the flames of such adversity, when the fireman came to your rescue you would most certainly ascertain that your odds improve greatly should you do whatever it is the fireman says to do. Believing enough, you would commit to going with him since it has to be better than what you’ve got going on on your own. So Why resist?

The evil in your addiction wants to sabotage your peace and steal your joy by deceiving you into believing its lies about you. The lie is that you need to come clean before God, even though His Word says that because of what Jesus did as the sacrifice for your sin, you can approach God with bold confidence as you are in the shape you are in. The shame of your past is on fire. Who you are in your addiction is on fire. Your past failures are on fire. Your weaknesses are on fire. Your selfish pride is on fire. The jealousy and resentment you can’t seem to shake is on fire. What you covet is on fire. Your hypocrisy in trying so hard to do right and good in your own strength is on fire.

The lie is that while the fireman fully equipped has arrived to deliver you from being engulfed in the flames, you’ve been duped into believing that on your own you can somehow fight fires. Honestly, if you were trapped in a burning building and the fireman stormed in to rescue you, would you for one second attempt to send him away so that you could put out the flames with your bucket of water? Or, would you admit sensibly that you are powerless to save yourself; believing that the fireman is your only real chance to survive, would you by necessity commit to following the fireman, doing whatever he says to save your life?

This decision to surrender is predicated on the belief in a power greater than ourselves who can rescue us to safety; then restore us into sanity. As we come to understand who we are in relation to who God is, the decision is remarkably sensible to turn our unmanageable lives—our mess—over to the ONLY ONE with the authority to renew and restore us through His plan of surrendered recovery. It is so sensible that to decide anything else only adds to the insanity of our addiction to selfish obsessions.

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. James 1:14-15 (NLT)  

“Gives birth to death“… how insane is that? When we come to understand how our brains work—selfish to the core—with automatic thoughts based on chemical reactions in the brain, fueling beliefs so irrational that they generate feelings that drive behavior willing to risk so much for instant gratification (reward), we do so at great risk and cost. The result is loss: lost freedom, lost peace, lost hope, lost trust, lost love… lost life. I am often asked, “Why do I settle for that?” It is our nature. When we seek to know ourselves through an honest inventory of ourselves, hoping to identify the exact nature of what is wrong with us, the more our self examination breaks down to our deeply rooted selfishness. We can try this and try that to fix ourselves, but it’s like pulling weeds that break off at the root but the roots are so deep that the weeds always grow back, bigger and badder than ever.

We have taken the brain that God created in us to be good, and allowed evil to come in and spread like a cancer until we are rotten to the core in our selfish thoughts, beliefs, and behavior. How does that change? It changes when we come to believe that we are powerless to our selfish motivations and intentions, come to believe in what can and will do to wash our brains, transforming them into something new, and the commit daily to letting Him brainwash us since He has afforded us the opportunity to enter into relationship with Him as an act of our will.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world (‘aeon’ or ‘age’) but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

– To read more about the translation of this passage, click New Age Living (and oh by the way, your feet smell)

While God’s love for us is unconditional, the quality of relationship we have with God is conditional. This is evident throughout Scripture. Relationships always have a when-then quality to them. When one thing happens in relationship, then another thing happens in response. To experience the life of transformative recovery empowered in relationship with God, we need to be about the when in the relationship. God will then change us into something new.

Pastor Fran Leeman unveiled from Scripture some truth I had not seen before. He said that the Greek word for ‘world’ in Romans 12:1 is ‘aeon’ (pronounced ee-on). The word means age. Apostle Paul is writing that we are not of this age who have come to believe into relationship with God through Christ Jesus. We are no longer tied into the fate of this age once transformed into new life, so why reach back thinking as though we are still what we were. God desires to change our thinking by the renewing of our minds so that we come to believe and live in the new age of the coming of the Kingdom of God, which has come by way of resurrected Christ.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

There is what we do in this transformative relationship, and there is what God does. What we do is offer our bodies to God sacrificially with our actions–our behavior. It is what we do with our eyes and our ears. It is what we do with what goes in and what comes out of our mouths. It is what we reach for with our arms and hold on to with our hands. It is where we go with our legs and where we stay with our feet (Romans 12:1). It is with our bodies that we give in to selfish urges and fall into addictive patterns, and it is with our bodies that we quit giving in to them.

There is what we do from the outside in when we offer ourselves sacrificially to God by the way we behave with our bodies. Then there is what God does in us from the inside out to completely transform us by the full renewing of our minds—literally rearranging our brain chemistry so as to empower us to live better and to think and feel healthier. God exchanges our desires and intentions with His desires and intentions. We then can resist self-centered addictive urges through the power of prayer and actually live in freedom, proving that God’s plan for us is perfect and beautiful. (Romans 12:1-2)

“Be transformed by the renewing of your minds” (Romans 12:2). The word “be” is a passive verb, meaning that it is not something we do but rather something that is done to us when we act sacrificially with our bodies committed to God’s way of behavior. Then what God does is completely transform our character and our thinking by rearranging the way our brain works, restoring it to what He created in the first place. The promise is of this transformation is that when we live according to our new God-given desires and objectives, both our behavior and what we think about and feel is healthy again. We are better having become well. We then prove in this new life that God’s plan for us is perfect and beautiful. This is how we can know and experience God’s will for us.

When we offer our bodies, meaning our physical strength to God as a living sacrifice, no longer committing our bodies to addictive patterns of behavior;

Then God completely transforms (metamorphoo) our hearts and our souls by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2). Then we can love God with our whole being, and our neighbor as ourselves.

When we commit to change externally from the outside in, changing what we do (Romans 12:1-2a),

Then God changes us internally from the inside out, changing who we are and what we think (Romans 12:2).

When we delight in the Lord in our action,

Then God gives us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4) by changing what we want according to his will and purpose.

When we rejoice, celebrating our recovery in relationship with Christ, offering praise and presenting prayer requests with our mouths, as well as showing considerate acts of service with our physical ability;

Then God replaces our anxiety with peace to our souls, guarding (covering) our hearts and our minds by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, empowering us to do anything (Philippians 4:4-7, 13).

When we commit to doing the will of God,

Then God changes our intentions and motives, according to His will (Philippians 2:13).

When we take responsibility for our behavior, repenting of our guilt (godly sorrow),

Then God mercifully removes our shame (worldly sorrow) and pain (2 Corinthians 7:10).

When we seek to know and see Jesus through prayer and a lifestyle committed to his will,

Then Jesus Christ will turn our sorrow into joy (John 16:20-22).

When we are committed to action according to the will of God, as his will takes over in us converting our intentions into doing what he intends we do,

Then we can ask him for anything and he promises to grant our requests (John 15:7).

When we commit to behaving according to the will of God, imitating the model of recovery set for us by the life of His Son Jesus,

Then we have joy overflowing as true friends of God (John 15:9-16).

“That is why the Christian is in a different position from other people who are trying to be good. They hope, by being good, to please God if there is one; or, they hope to deserve approval from good men. But the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines in it.”
—C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

These promises from the Bible reveal a when-then relationship. When we are committed to turning away from the things of our addictive flesh—outside-in change, then God is faithful to transforming us from the inside out. The original Greek translation for the word ‘transform’ is metamorphoo, meaning to metamorph from one thing into another; like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly.

Did you know that for the caterpillar to become a butterfly it is completely broken down into something of a goo (see “Something of a Goo” below), maintaining only the embryonic essentials necessary to be remade, rebuilt, reborn into something brand new that is beautiful and free. This miracle has a name; identified as “chrysalis”. In the same way, it is essential that we allow ourselves to be humbled and broken down, melted hearts and minds, to the point that we’ve no other option but to surrender to the process of transformation, rearranged and reformed into something beautiful… NEW LIFE.

As God transforms our character into a new person by changing how we think, it is like starting a new life. Not only do we act on what is healthy, mature, responsible, and godly, we want to willfully do that which pleases God. Whenever we do what pleases God it is always to our benefit, never to our detriment. That doesn’t mean we never have problems again. It means that we have his powerful support to manage and resolve problems and conflicts. When we commit our will to do the will of God, doing recovery God’s way, we do much better.

It is entirely possible with God’s help that when we pray with our mouths, and read the Bible, God’s written word, with our eyes, that our minds will be changed. We read in Romans 12:2 that the perfect will of God for you and for me is realized as we come to trust him completely and commit to our recovery his way. This is God’s way of challenging us to prove that his will for us is ideal. What an opportunity we have to experience all that God has and wants for us. Our lives make sense again as we commit to the sensible will of God and experience what God has for us in every facet of our livelihood.

Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But when God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life. Titus 3:3-7 (NLT)

“Something of a Goo”

In order for the change from a caterpillar to a butterfly to take place within the pupa, the caterpillar begins releasing enzymes that literally digest nearly all of its own body. What’s left inside the chrysalis is mostly just a very nutrient rich soup from which the butterfly will begin to form.

It was thought until very recently that the caterpillar was completely converted to goo, excepting certain special cells necessary to create the butterfly body parts. This idea has recently been debunked with researchers at Georgetown University proving that moths retain at least some of the memories they had when they were caterpillars. For this to be the case, at least some of their memory storing neurons must survive the enzyme digestion process. Further, these neurons must somehow be incorporated into the moth or butterfly’s brain, which is quite a bit larger and more complex than a caterpillar’s brain.

Also left within the goo are very tiny imaginal disks, which are similar to embryonic cells. These disks are actually present within the caterpillar its whole life, but they stop growing at a certain point in the caterpillar’s development and only start again when it is time for the caterpillar to morph into a butterfly. Once the proper time comes, the imaginal disks use the nutrients from the digested body of the caterpillar as they form into different parts of the butterfly’s body, with different disks forming into different tissues. For instance, there are imaginal disks that will form the legs, antennae, specific organs, etc. of the butterfly. There are even four imaginal disks that form wings. If one of these forming wings is removed, the other three will simply adapt to form bigger wings to compensate for the loss of the one wing.

Once the process is complete, the imaginal disks ultimately replace nearly every part of the dissolved caterpillar’s body with new “parts”, forming the butterfly.

Caged by Shame (Redemptive Healing)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

The two-headed enemy of recovery is our sin nature and the devil himself. This enemy had a baby, and called it ‘shame’. Shame sets out to hold recovering sin addicts in captivity. Shame is a sinister device of the devil that fans the flame of slavery to addictive sin and all of its consequences. As we determine to hold on to memories of the past that lead to our sorrow, the result is the sabotage of restorative recovery. There is no doubt that we have all made mistakes and need to claim responsibility for our behavior. However, there needs to be a clear distinction between guilt, which when addressed properly can lead to repentance and growth; and shame, which takes self-obsessed addicts into a cycle of failure that is ultimately fatal. Shame is the filter that distorts thoughts and feelings leading to destructive behavior and harmful consequences.

I treated a client that I will call Deloris, who was sexually and emotionally abused in her pre-adolescent years. She had been bound up for years with bitterness and unforgiveness due to the horrific memories that had caused her deep indelible pain, leaving her with open wounds for more than twenty years. Over the course of a year or so, Deloris had been drinking hard liquor heavily on a daily basis. She effectively hid her alcohol use so that her family did not know the severity of her problem. Her husband did not comprehend that his wife had this secret.

Her painful past made it difficult to be vulnerable to the people she loved. In moments when she would relive memories of her past in her thoughts, Deloris would tend to take it out on whoever came into her path. As she spent more time struggling with memories, she drank to numb the pain brought on by bitter hateful feelings leading to vengeful thoughts and verbally abusive behavior. She vented her inner rage on people mercilessly about things that did not matter much. Deloris hated that she did this to people who had nothing to do with her past. Alcohol became a friend to her. Drinking seemed to help for a spell, but she was becoming more and more stuck in the addictive process of self-medicating trying to minimize whatever pain she was feeling so that she might not inflict so much pain on those she cared about.

While in treatment, Deloris and her family bought a dog, a cute little puppy I’ll call Candi. She was thrilled to be able to love and care for Candi. Deloris had not had a drink in almost three weeks since beginning treatment, but remaining sober was difficult. Treatment was intense. Candi, this new friend in Deloris’s life, gave her something else to do to occupy idle time. However, Candi had a problem. This puppy relieved herself constantly and would make messes all over Deloris’s house. They would let Candi outside to do her business, but then when she came back in they had to keep her in a cage so that she would not make that kind of mess all over the house. The puppy still managed to mess up her cage, which did not adequately contain her mess, and which seemed to spread through the cage onto the kitchen floor, cabinets, etc. Even after making her mess outside, she came back in and promptly went another round while in her cage. Deloris reported that, while her husband and pre-adolescent son were patient and understanding, they agreed as a family that it was all quite disgusting. As much as Deloris loved her pup, her nerves were wearing thin. She was constantly cleaning up after the dog’s mess. Anyone who attempted to get involved with cleaning Candi’s mess tended to get messed up as well.

After a week or two of this pattern of Candi messing herself up and everyone else who got in her way, Deloris and her husband decided to get rid of the cage to see how Candi might manage without the cage. Candi immediately stopped relieving herself in the house after doing her business outside. It turns out that the only time Candi made messes in the house around the family was when she faced the prospect of having to re-enter her cage. When Deloris and her husband got rid of Candi’s cage, she was rid of the mess. Getting rid of the cage, though, was not easy. It required risk, which involved a process of letting go of what seemed to be their only means of containing the mess from spreading through the house.

This discovery led to a therapeutic revelation in treatment. Deloris was making a mess whenever she re-entered the cage of her past. When she dwelled on a feeling linked to a painful memory, Deloris made a mess on herself and on anyone else who happened to be around while she was in her cage of painful memories. Anyone who thought they could help her while she was in her cage would get messed on as my client relieved herself, metaphorically speaking of course, all over them, including her husband and son.

While in treatment, Deloris realized she needed to ask God to help her to let go of the shame of her past and exit her cage of shame. Deloris would always remember her past, but God could and is helping her to let go of the ongoing bitterness and anger that she’s been carrying. She was also holding onto the shame of things that she was led to believe about herself. Our last session was the week of Good Friday and we were able to focus on letting go of something she was powerless to manage on her own, and allow Jesus Christ to take it to the cross with him, so she could be free to live and love those who have faithfully loved her through such a difficult time in her life.

As you recognize you are powerless to change the past and are able let go of the thing that has imprisoned you, and trust God to release you from your cage of shame, he promises to fill the void. The love, peace, and joy of God can replace the pain of your past. You are allowed to make mistakes with knowledge and understanding that you are forgiven. When the love of God is alive in you, you can experience conviction in your heart that helps you to learn and grow from a mistake, even a painful mistake.

Romancing the Stone (Rebuilding the Road)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

Romancing the Stone is the worship of idols we have erected from our entitlement-driven obsessions that direct us in our worship of self (“extravagant respect or admiration for or devotion to an object of esteem” – Merriam-Webster). As you consider this truth throughout the article, pay attention to the words in capital letters that tend to be indicators of our idolatrous obsessions.

Toward the end of the twentieth century (1984 to be exact), Hollywood gave us an adventure movie called Romancing the Stone, starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, and Danny DeVito. The story is about Joan, a romance novelist, who travels to Columbia to search for her sister who’s been kidnapped by smugglers. She runs into Jack who rescues her from a rather tense circumstance. Together they stumble onto a whole bunch of marijuana and a treasure map. After inhaling, they begin their journey with a two-fold purpose. Jack is motivated by greed and Joan by desperation to find and save her sister. They both find what they are looking for and then the adventure ensues as they try to hold onto their treasure while being hunted. The treasure is a huge emerald worth a fortune. Since Joan’s sister is tangled up in the mess with her captors, everyone involved in the story is about one thing; securing the stone. No one trusts anyone and everyone is willing to risk everything, including their very lives to get what they want; what they each believe they are entitled to.

It could be said that the emerald in the movie was so at the forefront of everyone’s attention that it became the focal point of all that mattered. Jack even dives into the sea to wrestle with a crocodile to obtain the stone. Jack isn’t seen from again until she shows up outside of Joan’s house with his big boat that he bought wearing alligator-skinned boots. What a happy ending to an entertaining movie.

The Bible has some things to say about how we in our selfishly ambitious pursuits are inclined to romancing the stones in our world. There are important things to say about this romance from a Scriptural perspective. The importance we place on the stones along our way becomes an obstacle to the lifestyle of humble obedience we have been called to in relationship with God. The stone can be so big and heavy that it becomes impossible to move. It is so thick that not even the voice of God can be heard through it. It moves in on us to the point that it is impenetrable and we cannot break through it.

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Ezekiel 36:25-27 (NIV)

There is in my opinion a direct parallel between this landmark passage in Ezekiel and Isaiah 57. Both Scriptures deal with the specific matter of the human heart being penetrated and contaminated with impurity delivered in the form of idolatry. So far, all of the commentary I have found on the phrases “heart of stone” and “heart of flesh” appear to center on the theme of God putting in us a new spirit that penetrates a hardened stoney heart cleansing us from impurity and made sensitive to the touch of God. I love this and will discuss it further.

For now, I would like to ask you to consider another take on the expression “heart of stone” from the word God gave to Isaiah. Let’s do some Bible study.

You worship your idols with great passion
beneath the oaks and under every green tree.
You sacrifice your children down in the valleys,
among the jagged rocks in the cliffs.
Your gods are the smooth stones in the valleys.
You worship them with liquid offerings and grain offerings.
They, not I, are your inheritance.
Do you think all this makes me happy? Isaiah 57:5-6 (NLT)

These smooth stones Isaiah is talking about became cherished possessions. Apparently these people that God is talking about were with their children among the jagged rocks to get to these stones. It sounds to me like the area was quite dangerous and children slipped through and/or fell on these rocks and suffered fatal injuries while making their way down the mountain side. Maybe they used the children to fit into tight crevasses to reach for the smoothest, most colorful stones; stones that would be erected in service to their idols. Or worse, the adults may have literally sacrificed their children to their gods from under the jagged rocks along the floor of the valley as worthy sacrifice to their gods. Either way, these smooth stones were of high enough value that people, perhaps even families, were willing to sacrifice the lives of their kids for the sake of gratifying their obsessions.

Is this so different than the risks we assume with our families in the selfishly ambitious pursuit of our obsessions at the expense of the well being of those we love most? It is easy to say this about obvious chemical addictions and criminal behavior – that drug addiction and criminal lifestyles are valued over marriage and family, and sacrificing the children is the probable consequence. It is still easier to say this about parents who have adulterous relationships at the expense of the well-being of their families. Is it just as easy to say this about parents that do not seem to get along because of the behavioral and cognitive forms of idolatry and self-worship? Is not the well-being of children and family life not in peril when control issues and power struggles, resentments, laziness, lust, and jealousy are operating like predators seeking to devour the relationships of those who once shared authentic love for one another?

You have committed adultery on every high mountain.
There you have worshiped idols   and have been unfaithful to me.
You have put pagan symbols  on your doorposts and behind your doors.
You have left me  and climbed into bed with these detestable gods.
You have committed yourselves to them.
You love to look at their naked bodies. Isaiah 57:7-8 (NLT)

What are the idols you worship in your daily experience?

What are the pagan symbols in your home?

Now it gets personal. So I will be honest about my struggle with this precept for obedience unto God in my own life. TIME is an idol for me but not in the way you might think. If you are thinking the matter of time in your life you might obsess with how busy you are and that there never seems to be enough time. For me, I am selfish with my time. Because it’s mine! It is my time. I so enjoy leisure time. Not because I am so active. I am a couch potato when I am not working or writing. I enjoy watching sports, good movies, news talk on television, and King of Queens reruns.

Imagine if I redeemed that time really pressing in to the presence of the Lord talking to God. He is there with me. He loves me so much and absolutely enjoys chatting with me. His Spirit within me groans for fellowship as I steady my eyes at a plate of glass waiting for the next laugh line, the payoff at the conclusion of a good movie, or falling asleep to late night news talk on cable. It’s no better than the teenager that comes into the room with mom and dad, and when they ask how he or she is doing there is not a word of response; not even a glancing look. Perhaps an idol in my experience is LAZINESS. Something to think about when considering what might be idolatry in your life as well.

I so much want to be entertained. I suppose the “need” for ENTERTAINMENT is something I worship in my life. It definitely hinders my prayer life. It is another smooth stone on the alter I have built to a false god called ME. Perhaps my television is the pagan symbol of my idolatry regarding how I spend my time, if not on its own an idol in my life. For some of you clocks may be pagan symbols of your anxious obsession with effectively managing your time. Is your busy schedule costing you valuable opportunities with your spouse and children? Are you addicted to your work and your professional existence? Is your career an idol or at least a reflection your worship of time?

Perhaps idolizing time is the spawn of an even greater god: CONTROL. Why are there problems with patience that create anxiety fueling what can amount to considerable stress? Isn’t the lack of or absence of control at the center of anxiety and stress, clinically proven to destroy a person’s health and take lives? The need for control is again an entitlement problem at the hand of unmet expectation. When we do not possess what we want and need and believe we deserve we are not in control. The loss of control can trend toward preoccupation and obsession with whatever it takes to get it back. When exhaustive attempts are futile, as they typically are, to regain and resume control, the need for a remedy arises to the forefront of the daily experience. When the anxiety and stress – FEAR – of lost control hits the boiling point, and the acquired remedy (pagan symbols of idolatrous worship) is insufficient due to its impermanence, a vicious cycle of depression and despair may take over. The effects are paralyzing. One can feel lost in the world.

Why drugs? (And oh by the way, alcohol and nicotine are drugs… and food and sex can have the effects of drugs.) Drugs alter brain chemistry and on the surface can be an attractive remedy for anxiety and pain. The need for an escape route into various forms of gratification provide relief for a minute but then it’s right back into anxiety and pain.

Another idol in my life has been the problem of LUST. Not only lust of the eyes, but lust for things I want and COVET. While it is easy to rationalize that lust is human nature, it is a problem that can destroy lives, marriages, and families. AMBITION and GREED are bi-products of lust and JEALOUSY. Selfish ENTITLEMENT is born out of a sin nature. It drives our worship of self, which is at the root of this thing I refer to as MEdom… my addiction to me.

Have you ever thought of RESENTMENT as an idol in your human experience? Resentment is the result of unresolved anger. Anger is a human emotion that by itself is not sin. Jesus became angry at the merchants in the temple cheating gentiles and roared through the temple with a whip cutting into their potential profits as he stripped the wheelers and dealers of their merchandise and currency.

Scripture implores us, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT) What it is to be controlled by anger is to let it seep into our deeper thoughts and emotions to the point that we are resentful and bitter. Bitter resentment is a killer to relationships and one’s own esteem and self-respect. Being controlled by anger is idolatry, just as being controlled by lust, jealousy, greedy ambition, control, and fear is to be enslaved under the spell of these idols. It most definitely opens the door to demonic attack from oppressive spirits, thus Paul wrote that being controlled by anger – resentment – gives our demonic enemy a foothold. It means that in addition to our selfish prideful flesh, the devil is allowed to dig in and fuel our obsessions with resentments.

One of two things follows resentment: forgiveness or some kind of VENGEANCE, revenge being another idolatrous behavior. Following forgiveness comes healing; following vengeance comes one of two things: regret or a bitter dissatisfaction that revenge was once again only temporary gratification before lingering bitterness prevails.

Have you ever considered SHAME as an idol to be worshipped?

Are there things that have happened to you that, even though you were an innocent victim, have so profoundly impacted how you see yourself that you feel ugly inside and cannot seem to let it go. It hurts so much. Do the memories of a wounded past have so much power that they own you? Has your spiritual enemy persuaded you to believe the lie that your past somehow defines you?

The lie is that you are ugly and that you cannot love or be loved. You need to cry out to your Savior Jesus Christ for healing and deliverance from that kind of shame. To continue to hold on to it is to give it a life of its own, not allowing you to live the life of peace you are called to in relationship with Jesus (1 Corinthians 7:15). To continue to believe in the lies of the enemy is to exalt the memory and shame of your past experience – PAIN worship. It can be a false god in your life that is slowly killing you and an obstruction to relationship with God who gives life to the hurting and oppressed.

Then there is the shame of what you have done that you have come to believe is unforgivable. Working in a prison, treating men who are guilty of despicable acts has been a difficult challenge for me. Most of these men are at a place where they have hit bottom. They are broken and contrite, and very ashamed. Most of the men who are in a sincere relationship with God did not find God in prison. They returned to God in prison. These men wrestle with the shame of their past and it is deep in substance. Horrible things were done to them as children and they have done horrible things. Most are both victims and villains. This is a cold dark reality. Their past is still an open wound. It may be beginning to heal, but like a scab that is ripped off every time something rubs up against it, causes the sins of the past to bleed all over them again.

The truth is that the blood of Jesus covers the shame of past sin and regret. That is why Apostle Paul made the point of writing that, “The kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.” (2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT) The Apostle John wrote that, Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.” (1 John 3:20 NLT) It is not lost on our loving Father God to have written for us through these apostles that we will struggle with unforgiveness – self-condemnation. It is crucial to a healthy Christ-centered life that you do not give honor to the shame of your past. Instead of idolizing the thing that is causing you pain, let it go into the hands of your redeemer.

To allow God to heal your wounds (“by His stripes we are healed”) will mean that the scabs that could so easily get ripped open and bleed are now scars. Scars are healed wounds that, while the mark serves as a reminder of your past, no longer have power and will no longer own you. Scars are evidence that you have been set free from your past to live the life of peace you have been destined for in relationship with Christ.

Whether as an attempt to regain control, to protect ourselves from feeling or experiencing fear, or to minimize or maximize anything of consequence, LYING is a key element of idol worship. Lying is critical in the pursuit of gratification and relief. Lying can be chronic and compulsive; even pathological, meaning that the liar is sick. Compulsive pathological liars cannot help themselves. From lying comes cheating, deception (truth-bending), and stealing. Lying will destroy people and families and can cause severe, irreparable damage. Lying is definitely a “drug” of choice to attempt to escape something painful. Lying is a drug with a brief shelf life. Once the lie is exposed the pain increases into something even more severe than it likely would have been had the lie not occurred. Unless of course, more lying helps to hold off the crash and burn. But like running out of the drug, when the lying runs out, the crash and burn is a certainty.

To not experience the healing power of God setting you free from the past is to live in fear. Remember that FEAR is itself an idol to be worshipped. The pagan symbols of the false god that is fear take on forms of every kind. F.E.A.R., I have written about before, is Failed Expectations Affecting (or Altering) Reality. The reality for us set free in relationship with God is a life of peace and joy, even with life’s challenges and disappointments. Reality for even those in relationship with God blinded by the fear god is obsession with temporary fixes and remedies that are ultimately destructive and depressing. The fear god deceives our will to fall into a love relationship with the darkness and all that resides there.  When gripped by the fear god, we do not sleep. No matter how weary we become, we find the will and the strength to continue the search for a better life. Unfortunately, once we have veered off the road into something wrong our travels take us deeper into darkness.

You sent your ambassadors far away; you descended to the very realm of the dead!
You wearied yourself by such going about, but you would not say, ‘It is hopeless.’
You found renewal of your strength, and so you did not faint. Isaiah 57:9-10 (NIV)

You have traveled far, even into the world of the dead, to find new gods to love.
You grew weary in your search, but you never gave up. Desire gave you renewed strength,
and you did not grow weary. Isaiah 57:9-10 (NLT)

Isaiah now is writing about the futility of addictive obsessions that sink us into deep dark places. Traveling far into the world of the dead is deviance into a hedonistic carnal lifestyle in search of new gods, willing to sacrifice everything and everyone in the addict’s hopeless attempt to end, or at least, ease the suffering. King David wrote about his addiction nightmare: “My loved ones and friends stay away, fearing my disease. Even my own family stands at a distance.” (Psalm 38:11) The need and desire for remedy is so intense that even while fatigued and weary, the search for the next high – the next fix – is strengthened.

Do you understand what God is saying here through his prophet Isaiah? What does it mean, “Into the world of the dead” for you and me, today? For us I believe this passage could refer to anything we surrender our will to that can harm and destroy us. Yet, even when down and out in the midst of pain and suffering, weary from the insanity of addiction, desperation for escape and relief, or perhaps some kind of internal validation about our very existence, there is the renewed energy to do whatever it takes to find what we’re looking for, to get what we believe we need and deserve, even though it is killing us.

“Are you afraid of these idols?  Do they terrify you?
Is that why you have lied to me  and forgotten me and my words?

Now I will expose your so-called good deeds. None of them will help you.

Let’s see if your idols can save you when you cry to them for help.
Why, a puff of wind can knock them down!  If you just breathe on them, they fall over!
But whoever trusts in me will inherit the land  and possess my holy mountain.” Isaiah 57:11-13 (NLT)

We can become so dependent on our “drugs” of choice that we lose our way. God is talking to His chosen people. At that time the chosen people of God were the Jews in and around Israel. Today, the chosen people of God include gentiles, so the same truths apply to us. I previously described several idols (gods) of the flesh (the words in italicized capital letters) that operate in our daily experience like a vacuum, sucking us in to the point that we can’t see straight. We can be so absorbed by RESENTMENT that it’s laced into every thought we have. LUST and selfish AMBITION can and will govern our lives as we bow down and worship these gods. We can be so wrapped up into things we cannot CONTROL, particularly when it comes to our precious TIME , that interaction with family and friends and even with God suffers to the point that the relationships die.

We are afraid to let go and get out of our own way. We hold on to what we believe we need and call on our gods (you hate that I call them that, don’t you) for help and strength only to be disappointed time and time again. And sadly, and too often tragically, when our idols fail us, the result is destruction and doom and even death. God is saying that the stature of these false gods that we have come to rely on are so weakly feeble and fragile that it does not take all that much to send things crashing down into utter ruin.

Consumed by FEAR though we commit to our quest for the smooth stones that has replaced our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Stone that the builder rejected (1 Peter 2:7). So long as we are romancing these idols, these false gods, in our lives we interrupt the promised blessing of abundant life of transcendent peace and unspeakable joy.

Thank God, He has not given up on us!

And it will be said: “Build up, build up, prepare the road! Remove the obstacles out of the way of my people.” For this is what the high and exalted One says— he who lives forever, whose name is holy: “I live in a high and holy place, but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. Isaiah 57:14-15 (NIV)

God says, “Rebuild the road!  Clear away the rocks and stones so my people can return from captivity.” The high and lofty one who lives in eternity, the Holy One, says this: “I live in the high and holy place  with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. I restore the crushed spirit of the humble and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts. Isaiah 57:14-15 (NLT)

Here we go into one of the great promises of salvation. The word ‘salvation’ is our evangelical word for redemption but it is also a word for recovery and restoration. God is proclaiming loudly that He is preparing the way to rebuild the road. This is a prophecy of the coming Messiah who through His sacrifice removes the obstacles that are between God and His people. It is through relationship with Jesus Christ that we can live in fellowship with God in eternity in that high and holy place set apart from the evil that has fostered an attitude of worship unto false gods beginning with the god of SELF. I am the chief obstacle in the way of relationship with God. Jesus has brought into my will and my life the Spirit of God desiring to live within me and through me into new life.

This is what grace is all about. We cheated on God in the past; will continue to cheat on God in the future as we are inclined to do as long as we have a sin nature of entitlement. God is faithful and just to forgive us so long as we are honest about it (1 John 1:9) and commit our intention to live (in relationship with Christ) a life set apart from our idolatrous and adulterous ways. That’s like one spouse telling the other about her adulterous lifestyle of marital infidelity and being told she is forgiven; and so long as she is intentioned in her heart to be faithful, her future mistakes and affairs are forgiven as well. And according to 1 John 3:20, even when she struggles from a place of guilt with accepting that she is forgiven, and perhaps acts out even more as an adulterer, the her husband insures that she is forgiven. How did the husband insure that his bride is forgiven? He did so through the sacrifice of his only son.

Through Isaiah, God declared that our worship of false gods is in fact adultery. There is no way to sugarcoat this fact. Our worship of all of these obstacles is adultery. And even though we are forgiven, whenever we relapse into having yet another affair with an idol of the flesh, fellowship suffers and blessing is held at bay; not by God so much (even though God can certainly choose to withhold blessing) but by us since our hands are full with our mess and not available to receive what God so freely gives.

What God wants is a humble and contrite heart. This means that I am ashamed of my adulterous behavior. This means I am willing to accept responsibility for the romancing the smooth stones found in the valley of my sin. This means I have remorse and regret concerning my guilt. This means I admit I am powerless when left to my own devices to try and control what I really cannot control, starting with my thoughts, feelings, and imagination. This means that what I want is to be in active fellowship with my Redeemer Jesus Christ; that I want to experience the best of the new life that He wants and has for me. Jesus is the bridge, the rope, the lifeline to God. I cannot buy my stairway to heaven as the song suggests. It is only through right relationship with God that I have access to Him for all eternity. Praise God!

He created you and me for relationship with Him to have sweet communion together. God is emotional and created us in His image to be emotional creatures. It is said in Scripture that God is jealous for us. John the revelator writes that Jesus stands at the door knocking, wanting desperately to be let in. Reading Isaiah here, I get the impression that it might not be just a tapping on the door of my life. I get the sense He is pounding on the door and my opening the door for Him is because my life depends on it. He is pounding on the door like a fireman desperate to get to someone who just might burn to death the way things are going.

I will not accuse them forever, nor will I always be angry, for then they would faint away because of me—the very people I have created. I was enraged by their sinful greed; I punished them, and hid my face in anger, yet they kept on in their willful ways. Isaiah 57:16-17 (NIV)

I have seen what they do, but I will heal them anyway! I will lead them. I will comfort those who mourn, bringing words of praise to their lips. May they have abundant peace, both near and far,” says the Lord, who heals them. Isaiah 57: 18-19 (NLT)

It is clear from this passage that God is angry with me when I will not let Him in, preferring to serve the gods of lust and greed, feeling entitled to what I deserve outside of fellowship with the giver of all good gifts. Like a parent being angry with a willful child my Heavenly Father is angry with me when I make a mess. He punishes me in love, at least allowing me to reap the consequences of my disobedience.

And like a loving father, He does not leave me there to internalize my guilt to the point that out of that guilt I am somehow defined by it. He comes to me and asks to come in so that He can interact with me, forgive me and prove to me how much He loves me. He loves me so much He died for me. And on the third day after experiencing all of the worst of dying and condemnation, the soul and spirit of Jesus returned into new life. Even the tomb was alive; no death to be found. Your sin and mine had been extinguished for all of eternity. One thing remained for new life to be experienced to the full. The stone was the final obstacle. The stone that buried Jesus was the last of the smooth stones to be dealt with. Our romance with evil was conquered once and for all. The stone was rolled away forever. Jesus arose and left the tomb as if our lives depended on it.

When you continue romancing the smooth stones, the idols, the false gods of the flesh, it’s as though you have chosen to live in the tomb of your sin… self-centered entitlement to indulge in carnal-minded nonsense. I warn you, today. Leave the tomb. The stone has been rolled away. You are free to go. Do not believe the lies about entitlement that will some day entomb you for eternity if in the end you reject Jesus Christ. That is a willful decision. No one to BLAME (another false god of the flesh). There will be a day when the stone will again seal the tomb. To live for eternity entombed is to die for eternity in utter darkness. Choose life, today! Do not hesitate. Be full of the best of new life in the family of Almighty God.

Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses (consequences). Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life. Deuteronomy 30:19

In the family of God we are the church, the bride of Jesus Christ. The premise of marriage is set on the marriage relationship between Christ and His bride. It is a romance that Jesus has with His bride. His is jealous for my attention and affection. In this marriage there is no room for other gods. He wants all of me. He desires that I have joy so amazing I cannot describe it… joy unspeakable. Peace that I can understand is reasonable peace of mind. He desires that I experience peace that transcends my comprehension.

Yes, you who trust him recognize the honor God has given him. But for those who reject him, “The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone.” 1 Peter 2:7 (NLT)

The cornerstone is the foundational piece that everything rests on. Because the world has rejected Jesus, when the winds of change in the land come, any house not built on Jesus will collapse; every single one of them. The Bible says that anyone whose house is built on the Rock that is Jesus Christ is a living stone, trusting Jesus for salvation and blessing.

You are coming to Christ, who is the living cornerstone of God’s temple. He was rejected by people, but he was chosen by God for great honor. And you are living stones that God is building into his spiritual temple. What’s more, you are his holy priests. Through the mediation of Jesus Christ, you offer spiritual sacrifices that please God. As the Scriptures say,

“I am placing a cornerstone in Jerusalem, chosen for great honor, and anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.” 1 Peter 2:5-6 (NLT)

When the stone at the center of my worship is another god, my relationship with Christ suffers. Unless I repent and give up my adulterous affair with what is ultimately my irrational belief about what I deserve, I can suffer for eternity. Apostle James writes in the first chapter of his book that as long as my loyalty is divided between my marriage (my relationship with Christ) and my affair (my relationship with these idols of the flesh), I am double-minded and unstable in all that I do, stuck in a core belief of entitlement. I am tossed around between these two relationships, subject to human reasoning, and therefore full of doubt about the immeasurable work God can do in my life (see Ephesians 3:20). In my doubt I should not expect to receive anything since my cognitive and spiritual confusion will spoil the blessing and sabotage my hope for God’s best in my life (James 1:5-8).

Jesus referred to Himself as the Rock. When my worship is as a bride in romance with the bridegroom, romancing the Rock, that is when it all work together for me because what I do in my daily experience is an expression of my love for Jesus, and what He does from within me and through me is a reflection of His compassionate merciful love for me.

It is in the end a matter of life and death.

Isaiah concludes:

“But those who still reject me are like the restless sea, which is never still but continually churns up mud and dirt. There is no peace for the wicked,” says my God. Isaiah 57:20-21 (NLT)

Enough said.