BRAINWASHED into Something Beautiful… New Life

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

The first two steps of the Twelve Step model state the following:
1. We admitted we were powerless over addiction* – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

* “addiction” is substituted for the word “alcohol”

Step Three of the Twelve Steps says, “Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” Many will say that this is the Commitment or Surrender Step. I have said that and will continue to say it. It is probably more accurate to state, though, that Step Three is the decision to surrender. It is steps four through twelve that one acts out surrender and commitment in recovery. 

It is often said that this third step is the most difficult of the twelve, which is understandable… you know… because it’s about commitment and surrender and all that. Let me suggest that when one is truly working in the truth of the first three steps that step 3 is the simplest step of the twelve. Step three is the only thing left to possibly do and is an instinctual response to the first two steps.

If you were trapped in a burning building where flames are everywhere and out of control, calling for help hoping that maybe someone will hear you, and in your moment of despair, through the intense flames and thick smoke, the fireman appears and says to you, “follow me!” What will you do? Are you at all reluctant? Why is it that when the fireman appears fully equipped to rescue you that you may cling to all that you believe you can save… which, by the way, is all on fire… when you can’t even save yourself? The fireman says, “Follow me!” and you say, “I appreciate that you can help me but I am better off on my own. I won’t burn, I’ve got this. I am all that I need.” On the other hand, if you recognized and then admitted that you are utterly powerless in the flames of such adversity, when the fireman came to your rescue you would most certainly ascertain that your odds improve greatly should you do whatever it is the fireman says to do. Believing enough, you would commit to going with him since it has to be better than what you’ve got going on on your own. So Why resist?

The evil in your addiction wants to sabotage your peace and steal your joy by deceiving you into believing its lies about you. The lie is that you need to come clean before God, even though His Word says that because of what Jesus did as the sacrifice for your sin, you can approach God with bold confidence as you are in the shape you are in. The shame of your past is on fire. Who you are in your addiction is on fire. Your past failures are on fire. Your weaknesses are on fire. Your selfish pride is on fire. The jealousy and resentment you can’t seem to shake is on fire. What you covet is on fire. Your hypocrisy in trying so hard to do right and good in your own strength is on fire.

The lie is that while the fireman fully equipped has arrived to deliver you from being engulfed in the flames, you’ve been duped into believing that on your own you can somehow fight fires. Honestly, if you were trapped in a burning building and the fireman stormed in to rescue you, would you for one second attempt to send him away so that you could put out the flames with your bucket of water? Or, would you admit sensibly that you are powerless to save yourself; believing that the fireman is your only real chance to survive, would you by necessity commit to following the fireman, doing whatever he says to save your life?

This decision to surrender is predicated on the belief in a power greater than ourselves who can rescue us to safety; then restore us into sanity. As we come to understand who we are in relation to who God is, the decision is remarkably sensible to turn our unmanageable lives—our mess—over to the ONLY ONE with the authority to renew and restore us through His plan of surrendered recovery. It is so sensible that to decide anything else only adds to the insanity of our addiction to selfish obsessions.

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. James 1:14-15 (NLT)  

“Gives birth to death“… how insane is that? When we come to understand how our brains work—selfish to the core—with automatic thoughts based on chemical reactions in the brain, fueling beliefs so irrational that they generate feelings that drive behavior willing to risk so much for instant gratification (reward), we do so at great risk and cost. The result is loss: lost freedom, lost peace, lost hope, lost trust, lost love… lost life. I am often asked, “Why do I settle for that?” It is our nature. When we seek to know ourselves through an honest inventory of ourselves, hoping to identify the exact nature of what is wrong with us, the more our self examination breaks down to our deeply rooted selfishness. We can try this and try that to fix ourselves, but it’s like pulling weeds that break off at the root but the roots are so deep that the weeds always grow back, bigger and badder than ever.

We have taken the brain that God created in us to be good, and allowed evil to come in and spread like a cancer until we are rotten to the core in our selfish thoughts, beliefs, and behavior. How does that change? It changes when we come to believe that we are powerless to our selfish motivations and intentions, come to believe in what can and will do to wash our brains, transforming them into something new, and the commit daily to letting Him brainwash us since He has afforded us the opportunity to enter into relationship with Him as an act of our will.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world (‘aeon’ or ‘age’) but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

– To read more about the translation of this passage, click New Age Living (and oh by the way, your feet smell)

While God’s love for us is unconditional, the quality of relationship we have with God is conditional. This is evident throughout Scripture. Relationships always have a when-then quality to them. When one thing happens in relationship, then another thing happens in response. To experience the life of transformative recovery empowered in relationship with God, we need to be about the when in the relationship. God will then change us into something new.

Pastor Fran Leeman unveiled from Scripture some truth I had not seen before. He said that the Greek word for ‘world’ in Romans 12:1 is ‘aeon’ (pronounced ee-on). The word means age. Apostle Paul is writing that we are not of this age who have come to believe into relationship with God through Christ Jesus. We are no longer tied into the fate of this age once transformed into new life, so why reach back thinking as though we are still what we were. God desires to change our thinking by the renewing of our minds so that we come to believe and live in the new age of the coming of the Kingdom of God, which has come by way of resurrected Christ.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

There is what we do in this transformative relationship, and there is what God does. What we do is offer our bodies to God sacrificially with our actions–our behavior. It is what we do with our eyes and our ears. It is what we do with what goes in and what comes out of our mouths. It is what we reach for with our arms and hold on to with our hands. It is where we go with our legs and where we stay with our feet (Romans 12:1). It is with our bodies that we give in to selfish urges and fall into addictive patterns, and it is with our bodies that we quit giving in to them.

There is what we do from the outside in when we offer ourselves sacrificially to God by the way we behave with our bodies. Then there is what God does in us from the inside out to completely transform us by the full renewing of our minds—literally rearranging our brain chemistry so as to empower us to live better and to think and feel healthier. God exchanges our desires and intentions with His desires and intentions. We then can resist self-centered addictive urges through the power of prayer and actually live in freedom, proving that God’s plan for us is perfect and beautiful. (Romans 12:1-2)

“Be transformed by the renewing of your minds” (Romans 12:2). The word “be” is a passive verb, meaning that it is not something we do but rather something that is done to us when we act sacrificially with our bodies committed to God’s way of behavior. Then what God does is completely transform our character and our thinking by rearranging the way our brain works, restoring it to what He created in the first place. The promise is of this transformation is that when we live according to our new God-given desires and objectives, both our behavior and what we think about and feel is healthy again. We are better having become well. We then prove in this new life that God’s plan for us is perfect and beautiful. This is how we can know and experience God’s will for us.

When we offer our bodies, meaning our physical strength to God as a living sacrifice, no longer committing our bodies to addictive patterns of behavior;

Then God completely transforms (metamorphoo) our hearts and our souls by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2). Then we can love God with our whole being, and our neighbor as ourselves.

When we commit to change externally from the outside in, changing what we do (Romans 12:1-2a),

Then God changes us internally from the inside out, changing who we are and what we think (Romans 12:2).

When we delight in the Lord in our action,

Then God gives us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4) by changing what we want according to his will and purpose.

When we rejoice, celebrating our recovery in relationship with Christ, offering praise and presenting prayer requests with our mouths, as well as showing considerate acts of service with our physical ability;

Then God replaces our anxiety with peace to our souls, guarding (covering) our hearts and our minds by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, empowering us to do anything (Philippians 4:4-7, 13).

When we commit to doing the will of God,

Then God changes our intentions and motives, according to His will (Philippians 2:13).

When we take responsibility for our behavior, repenting of our guilt (godly sorrow),

Then God mercifully removes our shame (worldly sorrow) and pain (2 Corinthians 7:10).

When we seek to know and see Jesus through prayer and a lifestyle committed to his will,

Then Jesus Christ will turn our sorrow into joy (John 16:20-22).

When we are committed to action according to the will of God, as his will takes over in us converting our intentions into doing what he intends we do,

Then we can ask him for anything and he promises to grant our requests (John 15:7).

When we commit to behaving according to the will of God, imitating the model of recovery set for us by the life of His Son Jesus,

Then we have joy overflowing as true friends of God (John 15:9-16).

“That is why the Christian is in a different position from other people who are trying to be good. They hope, by being good, to please God if there is one; or, they hope to deserve approval from good men. But the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines in it.”
—C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

These promises from the Bible reveal a when-then relationship. When we are committed to turning away from the things of our addictive flesh—outside-in change, then God is faithful to transforming us from the inside out. The original Greek translation for the word ‘transform’ is metamorphoo, meaning to metamorph from one thing into another; like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly.

Did you know that for the caterpillar to become a butterfly it is completely broken down into something of a goo (see “Something of a Goo” below), maintaining only the embryonic essentials necessary to be remade, rebuilt, reborn into something brand new that is beautiful and free. This miracle has a name; identified as “chrysalis”. In the same way, it is essential that we allow ourselves to be humbled and broken down, melted hearts and minds, to the point that we’ve no other option but to surrender to the process of transformation, rearranged and reformed into something beautiful… NEW LIFE.

As God transforms our character into a new person by changing how we think, it is like starting a new life. Not only do we act on what is healthy, mature, responsible, and godly, we want to willfully do that which pleases God. Whenever we do what pleases God it is always to our benefit, never to our detriment. That doesn’t mean we never have problems again. It means that we have his powerful support to manage and resolve problems and conflicts. When we commit our will to do the will of God, doing recovery God’s way, we do much better.

It is entirely possible with God’s help that when we pray with our mouths, and read the Bible, God’s written word, with our eyes, that our minds will be changed. We read in Romans 12:2 that the perfect will of God for you and for me is realized as we come to trust him completely and commit to our recovery his way. This is God’s way of challenging us to prove that his will for us is ideal. What an opportunity we have to experience all that God has and wants for us. Our lives make sense again as we commit to the sensible will of God and experience what God has for us in every facet of our livelihood.

Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But when God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life. Titus 3:3-7 (NLT)

“Something of a Goo”

In order for the change from a caterpillar to a butterfly to take place within the pupa, the caterpillar begins releasing enzymes that literally digest nearly all of its own body. What’s left inside the chrysalis is mostly just a very nutrient rich soup from which the butterfly will begin to form.

It was thought until very recently that the caterpillar was completely converted to goo, excepting certain special cells necessary to create the butterfly body parts. This idea has recently been debunked with researchers at Georgetown University proving that moths retain at least some of the memories they had when they were caterpillars. For this to be the case, at least some of their memory storing neurons must survive the enzyme digestion process. Further, these neurons must somehow be incorporated into the moth or butterfly’s brain, which is quite a bit larger and more complex than a caterpillar’s brain.

Also left within the goo are very tiny imaginal disks, which are similar to embryonic cells. These disks are actually present within the caterpillar its whole life, but they stop growing at a certain point in the caterpillar’s development and only start again when it is time for the caterpillar to morph into a butterfly. Once the proper time comes, the imaginal disks use the nutrients from the digested body of the caterpillar as they form into different parts of the butterfly’s body, with different disks forming into different tissues. For instance, there are imaginal disks that will form the legs, antennae, specific organs, etc. of the butterfly. There are even four imaginal disks that form wings. If one of these forming wings is removed, the other three will simply adapt to form bigger wings to compensate for the loss of the one wing.

Once the process is complete, the imaginal disks ultimately replace nearly every part of the dissolved caterpillar’s body with new “parts”, forming the butterfly.

Revolutionary Transformation (Evidence for Faith)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

What does it take to experience change and feel better—be better?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2

The truth is that freedom is achieved through a revolutionary event. ‘Revolutionary’ means a sudden, radical, or complete change; a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something; a change in paradigm (belief, world view), meaning your standard for living. FFMP’s objective is to promote revolutionary recovery in how you live everyday—a new standard of thinking and living, with healthy hopeful expectations. God desires to transform your life into something new: from a caterpillar seemingly stuck in its tracks hardly able to move, into a butterfly full of life soaring to new heights in your life experience. The thing is you can know God, experiencing His impact on your life if by faith you will let go and trust Him to help you. Ever say to yourself, “It’s gonna take a miracle…”?

The following video is the revolutionary event that started it all for you and for me. Through Christ’s act of sacrifice at the cross, God extended His hand of mercy to each and every one of us no matter where we’ve been or what we’ve done. The miracle of resurrection and grace did not end there, it began there. Jesus, today, is inviting you to let go of the mess so that He can perform the miracle—the revolutionary event—of resurrection in your life. As you stare into the face of the miracle maker, you are gazing into the eyes of the One who will rearrange you into something new and beautiful.

The transforming work of God is that He rebuilds you and me into something new. C.S. Lewis wrote that, even though we might only want an aspirin to relieve the immediate pain of a tooth ache, God intends to permanently set right all of our teeth. It is not the plan or purpose of God that we merely survive, with mere moments of relief from the pain of shame and discontentment, but that we live a full life of freedom in the experience of His peace and joy. God wants to reshape us into something more beautiful than we can imagine. He wants to bless us with what we don’t even know to desire. He wants to take us to where we would never even think to go.

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on. You knew these jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come in and live in it Himself.” —C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Evidence that Demands a Verdict

FREEdom from MEdom Project is a venture in faith. Here’s a secret about faith: faith isn’t blind, nor is it ignorant. Faith is the realization of the truth one has longed to believe in. Faith is an experience rooted in the substance and evidence in something unseen. Have you ever seen gravity or oxygen? Like gravity and oxygen, you may not see the subject of your faith, but there is clear evidence that it is real by experience. You’ve never seen your brain, but you believe you have one. Have you ever seen a radio signal or a cell phone signal? Yet they are all around you all of the time. Someone said that if you could see all of the signals in downtown Chicago you would not be able to see your hand in front of your face. Have you ever actually seen hot or cold? Have you experienced the evidence of hot and cold? We experience what we don’t see all the time; therefore, we know it’s real. While we learn to trust in what we do not see, we put our faith in what we know by experience to be true. When we don’t trust God, it’s because we don’t really know God.

You know, we don’t see wind either but we see and experience evidence of it everyday. The howling of the wind that we hear is not actually the wind sounding off but the obstruction that is resistant to the wind. The howling noise is the sound of resistance. If we move in harmony with the wind, instead of holding us back, the powerful force of the wind propels us. God is like the wind wanting to impact our lives by experience—everyday. When we resist God we hear the howling of our resistance in our circumstances that prove so dissatisfying. When we’re moving with God, He propels us, and our troubles aren’t so loud. The more we know God the more we’ll trust Him, and the more confidence we’ll have when we communicate with Him—and the less we will resist His influence in our lives. When we come to believe and trust in the evidence, the verdict is that we will then experience the wonderful life benefits of our faith.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)

To experience the blessing of being transformed into something new requires that we let go of what we cannot control anyway. We must engage into relationship with God, trusting Him to and empower us and to do in us what we cannot do for ourselves on our own. This means turning our will (desires and intentions) and our lives (what we do and everyone involved and affected by what we do) over to the care of the One with boundless power and control as we have come to believe in Him. This suggests then that, even though there exists doubt in what we cannot see, we put our faith in the possibility—the hope—that Jesus can and will do what He said He can and will do if we let Him; because we know Him, according to the evidence. In this we live in the perfect will of God, His best for you and for me.

A father brought his tormented son to Jesus and said,
“If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” “If you can?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:22-24

When you believe by faith in Jesus Christ, the known God who knows and understands you, and wants His best for you, it really becomes sensible that you would surrender and turn it all over to Him. Does it make sense to you to turn your will and life over to Him since you believe? Believe this: that God wants His best for you so much more than you can possibly want it. You might want out of some things; but getting out of something means getting into what? Hmm… God knows what you are missing and wants desperately to deliver it to you, both in this lifetime and in the next.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us… For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation… creation itself will also be set free from bondage of corruption into glorious freedom… if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with patience. from Romans 8:18-25 (HCSB)

Trapped in a House on Fire!

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom for MEdom Project…

I admit that I like to play with matches in my house. It’s something I started doing as a child and for whatever reason I am still into it. I get gratification from the spark that comes with rubbing the tip of the match against the flint on the box and watching it light up. Flicking and throwing matches is pleasure for me. When I am in a dark place, the glow of the flame casts light into the darkness, affording me a sense of release and relief. You might say I have become hooked on the feeling that comes with playing with matches.

From time to time a match lands against something flammable and produces a little fire. When the little fires get together to form bigger fires it can become a problem. When that happens, I just go to another room in the house so I can forget about the room that’s on fire. I am a little bit concerned that playing with matches can lead to problems from time to time and I understand the need to exercise some caution.

The room I am in now is safe. I really need to light these matches. I always have a box of matches with me. Matches are important to me. They are a necessity. I just need to be more careful. So, here I go. I am playing with my matches… lighting them… flicking them. I am starting to feel something when the match comes in contact with something and causes it to burn. The fires I am causing are getting bigger until the entire room is on fire again. This ritualistic pattern continues from room to room until I am running out of rooms in the house to light matches in. The whole house is burning. The flames are out of control. The smoke is so thick that I can’t see anything.

I think I might be trapped.  I think I might be in trouble.

I am trapped in a house on fire… thick flames and smoke is all around me… everything is on fire. I admit I am powerless to the fire, but there is nowhere to go. I am on the floor breathing my last breaths as smoke and flames are overtaking me. There are those that live near my house that must see that it’s on fire.

I shout out, “Someone, help me! I am trapped in this house!” I even call out to God, “God, help me! Send someone!”

Then suddenly it happens. Someone is lifting to my feet. It’s the fireman! He is equipped to not get burned. He wraps me in his coat, puts an oxygen mask over my face and says, “Let’s go… come with me!” There is no doubt in my mind that I am not better off without the fireman. I believe, or at least hope enough, that the fireman can and will rescue me if I give up and go with him. I suppose I could look back or try to hold on to some things in the house; maybe grab onto some things I can carry with me. Then the fireman says, “Let go… it’s too heavy… and besides, it’s all on fire!” I decide that the fireman is right and I let go and do what he says to do, and go where he says to go.

The house is my life and the fire is my addiction… my selfish sense of entitlement that leads me to believe that it is my right to play with matches if I want to. The fireman is my higher power that saved me from my addiction. I look back at my life and it’s smoldering. It’s in ruins. From the place I am in now, having been rescued from the flames, I see that I have been burned by the fire. Burned bad… I hurt. I am in severe pain. I can barely move.

I look back at the fireman and he is different. He is dressed like a doctor. The doctor helps me to heal. I look at myself and see that I am much better. I look back at him and he is dressed like a construction worker. He is wearing a tool belt and hard hat. He also has a tool belt and hard hat for me, and says to me lovingly, “Let’s go… we have work to do.” He is committed, and he wants to know if I am committed to working on rebuilding the house that is my life. Once I surrender to the process of putting my life back together with the tools from the builder, He commits to working with me to do the work to rebuild my life until it is working better than ever.

Every day, as I surrender to my higher power in recovery, compelled by loving kindness, my Higher Power is committed to me and the work of rebuilding the house that is my life… it was a cottage; but I have seen the blue print… my life’s not a cottage according to these plans… it’s a castle!

Once I have moved into the new house that is my new life I am motivated to live in a way that is consistent with my new life. But to my surprise and disappointment, I continue to set fires in my new house. I still want to play with matches. Sometimes I am obsessed with getting the feeling back that had me hooked.

But something wonderful is different about my new life. I have invited and welcomed into my house the fireman, the doctor, and the builder. He is actually one person but where’s all three hats and is equipped to put out fires, treat my wounds, and restore the places in my house that get burned from time to time. He is also a teacher helping me to learn about my character flaws and teaching me how to live. He is a trainer helping me to get in shape with a healthy diet of what I allow into my thoughts. He is an advocate when I need representation when confronted by my conscience.  He is a counselor when I need someone to listen to me and affords me the wisdom to discern when I am wrong and to work out my problems. He helps me to let go of resentments that can produce really bad fires. He has shown me that it is not only about receiving grace but extending to others in need of it. He is all that and so much more when I let go and am willing to surrender.

It’s usually said that the 3^rd step is the hardest of the 12 steps. The illustration of the fireman as the rescuer from a life on fire suggests that the 3^rd step is the easiest of the steps. What is so difficult is that I don’t pay enough attention to the problems caused by and made worse by playing with matches; or worse, I see fires burning all over the house but don’t act to put them out until the fires become one massive fire raging out of control and I am powerless and desperately in need of help. When the help comes when I am desperate enough, surrender makes the most sense; it comes easy as if I have no other choice. The issue is that I might not realize my need until it’s too late and I am consumed by the fire.

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Romans 7:18-24 (NLT)

Addicted to sin… a slave to sin, according to the fireman (John 8:34), I am the arsonist. To continue to trust myself to on my own overcome addiction is to put my faith in the arsonist instead of the fireman. How insane is that?

Don’t ever wait too long to call on the fireman. Call on him, today.

So… imagine your life is a house and your addiction (ultimately to self) is the fire burning it down. Everything inside your life is on fire. Only Jesus Christ can restore your life into something whole again.

Whoosh! (A Testimony of Divine Intervention)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

Why don’t we trust God? Is it because we struggle to entirely believe?

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.” Faith comes from hope being realized in substance according to the evidence. We don’t see gravity but we experience gravity all the time. We know the truth about gravity and come to trust it even though we do not see it. It could be said that we have a relationship with gravity. Our lives are touched by gravity everyday.

The truth is that freedom is achieved through a revolutionary event. ‘Revolutionary’ means a sudden, radical, or complete change; a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something; a change in paradigm (belief, world view), meaning your standard for living. A sudden revelation of faith having encountered the Savior, Jesus Christ, will speak life into how you experience revolutionary transformative recovery in how you live everyday—a new standard of thinking and living, with healthy hopeful expectations. It is in relationship with Jesus that you will come to know God to be real and living. It is in relationship with Christ that you enter into the new age of grace that will usher you into the experience of new life.

Dean, a 135 pound man in his mid-thirties, has been dependent on alcohol for the better part of twenty years. Beer was his drug of choice and until recently, he was drinking 15-20 beers alone each night in a period of 4-6 hours until about 10:30 or so at night before he would make his way to bed and crash until his alarm went off early the next morning.Each beer contains one ounce of alcohol, so Dean was consuming 15-20 ounces of alcohol each evening after he arrived home from work. The body metabolizes about one ounce of alcohol per hour. Since he may have metabolized 4-5 ounces of alcohol in the hours he was drinking, Dean had 10-15 beers in his system when he fell asleep, resulting in dangerous blood alcohol levels.

This occurred everyday for a number of years. It should be said too that Dean, having metabolized between six to eight beers from the time he passed out until the time he left for work, likely had between four and as many as eight beers still in his system when he left for work, meaning his blood alcohol level could still be as much or more than twice the legal limit as he drove into work. Dean reported to me there were times when he saw yellow in his eyes, which could have been the result of some liver damage. Eventually, he would have severe alcohol-related physical problems if he continued using alcohol while increasing his use.

Dean was a functioning alcoholic, meaning that he never missed work, got to work on time, babysat grandchildren, and so on. He knows now that his alcoholism would have escalated and that he would have an increase in severity of his problems related to alcohol use had he continued to use. Dean realized it was a matter of time before he would not be able to consume enough beer in his allotted time to drink, and he would likely drink more often during daytime hours. He also recognized the likelihood that he would not be able to consume enough beer needed to achieve the feeling he was after, and would need to include harder liquor with much heavier alcohol content, perhaps mixed with his beer to achieve desired results. Dean sure enjoyed his beer.

Dean had already lost one marriage due mostly to alcohol and drug-related problems and had been estranged from his teenage daughter for a couple of years, due in large part from his own shame and feeling like he was unworthy to be her dad. When his current wife of five years finally told him to choose between their marriage and his love for beer, Dean decided to get help. His wife contacted me at Heritage Counseling Center because we believe recovery from alcohol and drug dependence centers on a life-changing relationship with God.

A consideration for Dean coming to Heritage was that he had very little church background and had very little understanding about God. One might say that convincing Dean that Jesus was real, alive, and involved in his life, would be the equivalent of suggesting that Santa Claus was real, alive, and involved in his life—that Dean should pray to Santa and trust Santa for transformative power. Dean agreed to come to Heritage because we were in his insurance network through his Employee Assistance Program. One thing that Dean did understand was that he was spiritually bankrupt in his addiction to alcohol. Dean needed hospitalization in a detox unit to help him endure the symptoms of acute withdrawal. He was then admitted to our five-week intensive outpatient program (IOP) at Heritage.

I had the opportunity to share with Dean why Jesus Christ was the One—the only One—capable and willing to empower him to a life of recovery from an insurmountable addiction to alcohol. Dean would have to transition from disbelief to belief. He would have to agree that Jesus not only lived but suffered and died for his selfishness and weakness, and that Jesus arose from the dead. Dean would have to find the account of the empty tomb to be compelling enough that it is possible that this story of an event some two thousand years ago might just be true.

I told Dean that ancient historical manuscripts of literature confirm the life and death of Jesus. I told Dean about the historical accuracy of the movement (perceived by political and religious leaders as a rebellion) Jesus led against the oppressive religious hierarchy that was supported by the Roman government. I told Dean about the claims by Jesus to be the Son of God with claims of resurrection from the dead three days after his execution—claims uncontested by historical accounts.  I told him that historical literature documents that the tomb was heavily guarded with some two dozen trained and skilled Roman soldiers so as to not allow any room or opportunity for sabotage concerning the body of Jesus lying in the tomb. I told him that a massive stone weighing one and a half to two tons was used to seal a large hole dug into the side of a cave. I told Dean that the most ancient of historical manuscripts are in agreement that the tomb was in fact empty by the third day since the crucifixion of Jesus. I told him that there are historical accounts of Jewish witnesses of resurrected Jesus who sacrificed everything—their birthrights, marriages and families, inheritances, etc.—to do nothing more than speak the truth about there experience. Many of those eyewitnesses were executed in martyrdom for speaking the truth of what they experienced first hand.

Dean accepted that I would not deliberately deceive or misguide him, but what if I was misguided by some religious hoax? What then? How would this God or this Jesus empower him to recovery from his marriage and family killing disease that was also destined to destroy him, body, mind, and spirit?

While in his first week of treatment, Dean was on his way home from his IOP session when he was overcome by his urge to drink. He felt that on a scale of ten his compulsion to drink was at least 20. He was determined to stop at the gas station to buy his cigarettes and beer. At the same time, he became very afraid that doing so would cost him his marriage…again. This was an excruciating dilemma for Dean as he wrestled with ambivalent feelings of immense proportion and consequence. If he did not consume alcohol, he would go insane, literally; yet if he did drink, he would not be able to stop and he’d lose his wife, whom he loved dearly. Dean cried out, “Jesus, I don’t know if you’re real, but Steve sure believes you are,” as he prayed out loud to the God of Steve. Little did Dean know, but he was praying to the God of Dean.

“Jesus, let me do the impossible”

Dean said to Jesus, “If you’re real, come into my life and take away my need to drink.” Then suddenly, something happened to him. He said it was like a “whoosh” hit him that he could not explain. He said he felt different in some way. It was like letting air out of the balloon of his enormous urge to drink. Dean knew right then and there that the same Jesus that arose from the dead changed his mind as he cried out to him. Jesus Christ empowered Dean to do what was not possible in his own ability.

Pastor Fran Leeman (LifeSpring Community Church, Plainfield, IL)  preached a sermon about Peter walking on water. Peter and the disciples were sailing in the midst of a terrible storm when he saw Jesus, apparently standing out on the water. How was this possible? How could a man stand on the water? Peter shouted out, “Jesus, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes come,” Jesus said (Matthew 14:28-29, NLT). Pastor Leeman pointed out that he would have yelled out in a panic, “Jesus, if it’s you, calm the storm!” He said he would have wanted to see the evidence that it was Jesus, but that Peter took a much different approach. Rather than ask Jesus to prove himself real by doing the impossible, Peter asked Jesus to empower him, Peter, to do the impossible by the authority and power given him by Jesus. What profound truth.

My client Dean did this. He didn’t have anymore faith than to ask Jesus, “Is it really you?” “Are you real?” “Will you help me?” Jesus answered, “Yes, come.” Then Jesus, who spoke creation into existence with complete authority, blessed Dean with the power and the authority to do the impossible by the power given him. Dean did not have faith, really. What did he know? What Dean had was hope that Jesus was real and that he’d show up. When we know that we have no other choice but to trust God for the impossible, even when our faith is lacking and unsure, when we need a miracle, he will grant us the power to do the impossible; to move a mountain. Dean moved a mountain that night. Praise God!

Dean was giddy with assurance as he recounted the story of his miraculous drive home from treatment the night before. He reported having a genuine sense of enthusiasm and anticipation for his treatment and a life free of alcohol. For Dean, that was already a departure from his “normal” way of thinking. In an instant, Jesus Christ changed Dean’s mind. Dean had no doubt that Jesus is real. His attitude about sobriety was completely changed.

Dean learned to make sense of the ABCs of recovery from a life filled with alcohol and drug addiction with all of its disappointment and conflict. Dean would tell you himself that as he admitted to God that he was not in control of his life and powerless to do anything about it except pray for help to do the impossible, that God was faithful. He confessed to Jesus Christ that he was lost in his addictive sin, like the wayward son of the Bible (Luke 15), and that he believed that Jesus could help him and give him the ability to turn away from alcohol. He experienced the loving embrace of Jesus Christ that night. Relationship with Christ became real in one whoosh. Hope was realized and faith emerged and began to grow into something real. Dean, then, told God, and also declared it to me, that he committed his life to doing the will of God as really the only way to get right with God, with his wife, and live one day at a time sober.

When I taught Dean the principle of offering his body to God as a living sacrifice by the function and activity of his life in support of his recovery, he clearly understood. Remember, Dean does not come from a “churched-up” background. He is not someone that prayed or believed much more about God than maybe what he imagined God to be. When I talked to him about God wanting to transform his entire character into something new by the renewing of his mind, Dean grinned wide and said emphatically, “God’s already doing that.” He went on to say he thinks differently and that he “feels it.”

Dean was walking on water. When talking about how his priorities have changed, Dean talked about his relationship with God as his top priority. When talking about the benefits of a lifestyle of recovery, Dean talked about having the “love of God” in his life as the most meaningful benefit. One doesn’t typically talk about the love of God unless he has experienced the love of God changing his life.

I told Dean that with our commitment and faithfulness to working a disciplined program of recovery, according to the ABC model of transformative recovery demonstrated by Jesus himself, he would not only get well but experience the abundant blessing promised to anyone committed to living out the will of God. Dean now has the upper hand in winning the battle for his mind.

Trusting God in the details

Dean totally believed me and believed the Word of God because of the resurrection from the death in his own life he was already experiencing. Dean told me a testimony of God doing something special to affirm his faith. Dean’s is a team leader at his current position where he leads a team that maintains production machinery in a plant outside of Chicago. On a Saturday, a member of his team was working to repair a machine and having quite a bit of difficulty. It was hot in the plant (over 100 degrees), working Saturday was overtime, and nerves were getting frayed the longer it took, and the more complicated the repair seemed to become as Dean and this team member worked together to repair this machine. The longer it took to fix the thing the more behind they were in production. When it felt like the day was getting away from them going on 1:00 in the afternoon, Dean and the other guy were really at a loss for what to do. They tried everything they knew and nothing worked.

Dean thought to pray. He even thought of his ABCs of recovery and admitted to God that his way of handling the situation was not working. He felt powerless and told God that he believed that he could help somehow. He then committed to trusting God. It might have seemed to be a bit of a stretch to expect divine intervention for a machine, but… Then, just before 1:00, only minutes after Dean prayed for God’s help, the phone rang. It was an engineer who works for the company calling Dean just to ask how he was doing. The guy was calling from Ohio on a Saturday when Dean is rarely working at the plant, which seems a bit unusual to me. Dean told this engineer he was doing alright but that he was really having difficulty with a machine, and proceeded to explain the problem. The man on the phone made a few suggestions on what to do with the machine and in less than ten minutes after following the instructions of the engineer, they completed the repair and the machine worked wonderfully. Dean thanked the engineer, and then thanked God, who he believes directed this man to call him on Saturday.

Dean has admitted to me over the past year that he has had occasion to slip in his journey of recovery from alcohol addiction. Even Peter, while walking with Jesus, had occasion to slip and sink like a rock, but then he cried out again, “Jesus save me (again).” And Jesus took his hand, back up to where he is, to continue walking on water, doing the impossible by the power given by Christ.

The difference these days for Dean is that slipping back into addictive behaviors is a deft reminder that he is only as strong as his relationship with God. Dean now recognizes that falling does not have to mean failure. Rather than succumb to the death grip of shame, which could drag him back into that addictive lifestyle, Dean resumes the discipline of recovery, beginning and continuing in prayer. The transforming power of a renewed mind has empowered Dean to get up and do the right thing when he gets knocked down from time to time. He does not experience the “whoosh” like he did that first time he encountered God but he doesn’t need that anymore. Now he knows what the evidence of the unseen looks like. Each time he goes his own way and sinks, like Peter, Dean understands that it is when he extends his hand to Jesus, again and again, that he resumes walking on the water that is recovery.

Dean, who had not seen his daughter for more than two years, has been restored into relationship with her. This is one dividend of his recovery. What a blessing it is to see recovery pay off in a manner as blessed as the reunion between a father and his daughter. God is paying attention to the details in our lives and is in the business of reconciliation and recovery.

Keep in mind that these stories are not about the miracles. This stuff is kids’ stuff to God. These stories are about a Savior who keeps after his followers; a Shepherd who looks after his sheep; a Father who dotes on his children. The amazing thing about Almighty God is that he chooses out of love to have a relationship with us. All you need to remember is that it’s not about the “wow!” of the miracle; it’s about the passion within the relationship. God is passionately in love and involved with us.

God is indeed awesome!

Dean’s face lit up big time when I offered him this Scripture from the book of Ephesians.

“For this reason I bow my knees to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…that He would grant you according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may be alive in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in His love, may be able to comprehend with all believers what is the width, depth, length and height—to know the love of Christ which is beyond knowledge; and that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or think, according to His power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Jesus Christ to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”Ephesians 3:14, 16-20 (NKJV)

The Recovery Bible (NLT) reads that God will do “what we dare to ask or even hope for.” Other Bible translations say that he will do “more than we could ask or even imagine.” God does desire to bless us beyond our wildest expectation. However, we must be fully surrendered to God to allow his Spirit to dwell, or live, in our inner man, the core of our being and character, to change how we think by the renewing of our mind.

I have had a number of clients over the years that have experienced wonderful blessing as they committed to turning their lives over to the care and will of God. Dean is a client that experienced that kind of incredible blessing in his life as testimony of God’s bountiful grace. He described God’s blessing to a co-worker as three miracles:

1) “I’m not drinking.”

2) “I’m still with my wife after all the pain I’ve brought her.”

3) “I’m reunited with my daughter.”

Dean has said that he can appreciate that as he commits himself to God by how he behaves and submits himself to God from the outside in, he can sense God working in him from the inside out. As he has committed himself to living his recovery God’s way, a transformation has taken place and the overhaul of Dean’s character continues as God continues to radically change his way of thinking from the inside out. In this relationship with Christ is victory in the battleground of the mind. As distorted thought and feelings return from time to time, Dean has discovered that he longer reacts automatically to them. He’s mindful to pray and patient to trust God.

Expanding the battleground

As of this writing, it has been two years since Dean was in my program. I was able to chat with him and talk to him about his more recent journey in recovery. He stated that there have been ups and downs along the way but that God has been faithful. He said, “God still loves us, doesn’t he.”

I shared with him what I had heard from the pulpit from Pastor Leeman about Peter walking on water empowered by God’s authority. Dean agreed; that is what God does, granting Dean the power to do the impossible. Dean said it reminds him of the time not that long ago when he had opportunity to extend his knowledge—that from a renewed mind—with a co-worker who had lost his wallet for a time. Dean asked him, “Did you pray?” He then challenged his co-worker to give prayer a chance. Dean told the man of the time when he had lost his own wallet. He had looked everywhere he could think of and did not find it anywhere. It seemed that finding his wallet would be impossible. That was until Dean prayed. You see, Dean’s mind had completely changed about prayer since Christ transformed his life. Dean prays believing. When Dean prays, he expects God to respond in some way. Dean promptly found his wallet in a place he had not thought to look.

Dean’s co-worker on the other hand did not have the faith to believe. This is how the twelfth of the twelve steps works. The twelfth step is as follows: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Earlier on, Dean had prayed to the “God of Steven”. Now Dean, having confident knowledge of the will of God to recover lost lives, saw an opportunity to help a co-worker discover the faithfulness of Jesus Christ through the recovery of his wallet. The man prayed to the “God of Dean”, and after being without his wallet for weeks, had it returned to him the very next day. Everything was still in it. Even the cash in his wallet was all there.

Dean had extended the blessing given him by God to another individual in need of a blessing. The man experienced God. Not merely the God of Dean, but the God who is attentive and involved with everyone. Dean expanded the territory of battle. With the upper hand in the battleground for his own mind it was time to take the fight for freedom beyond himself. Now there is another out there considering the realities of Almighty God. That is how recovery works. God still loves us, doesn’t he?

New Age Living (and oh by the way, your feet smell)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. Ephesians 1:17-21 (NIV)

Why is it that we who say we are in right relationship with Jesus Christ struggle to experience the freedom that Jesus talked about when He said that we are indeed set free by truth about faith? Why is it that we tend to give in to temptation and enact selfish lifestyle choices that rob and destroy rather than experience the abundantly full life that was promised by Jesus? Why is it that we tend not to trust God enough to fully turn our will and life over into His care and experience the transcendent peace that covers our hearts in relationship with Christ? Why is it that we cannot seem to let go of the history that we allow to shame us into self-condemnation when the debt for our sin was paid by Jesus?

Concerning the selfish mistakes committed by you and by me in this carnal body and mind of flesh, the Apostle Paul said the following that applies to what happens to us in the grace of relationship with Jesus Christ. Notice that Paul speaks of our sin in the past tense; not about what we did, but rather about what we were in comparison to what we are because of who we are in Christ.

In Our Mess

And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:11 (NIV)

I will admit right up front that I am sharing with you another message from Pastor Fran Leeman (YourLifespring.org) with my spin on what I received in my spirit from God’s Spirit. I was taken back by powerful truth Pastor Leeman shared from God’s Word concerning who, what, and where we are in the Kingdom of God.

If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:13-17 (NIV)

Pastor Leeman discovered something profoundly interesting and powerful in his recent study of the New Testament. He found that the Greek word in ancient manuscripts for the word ‘world’  in the context of this Scripture from 2 Corinthians and others has been translated poorly. When Apostle Paul is writing to us about “the new creation”, he is not necessarily speaking of transformation as “re-creation” of the person, so much as he is writing about a new age of how we are to be and live since we have been resurrected with Christ. We who have turned from our selfish sin as a way of life and have surrendered our will over to resurrected Jesus, have entered into the new age that is His eternal plan; the Kingdom of God having come. We have died to the former age, no longer living from the point of view of instant temporary gratification, but now resurrected with Christ into the new age of His Kingdom.

When Jesus absorbed our sin at the cross, our sin was condemned in the soul of Christ (Romans 8:3) for all eternity, removing our sin as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). I believe this is central to Paul writing that for anyone who is in Christ, having repented (turned away) from selfish sin, “the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” In relationship with Christ, we have died to the age that is condemned in its sin, and we’re reborn spiritually—adopted into the new eternal age that is the Kingdom of God, here today.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

– For more on the subject of Transformative Recovery, read: BRAINWASHED into Something Beautiful (New Life)

In view of believing into what Jesus did for us through His sacrifice and resurrection, Paul urges us to take on a new age perspective about who we are in relationship with Him. Pastor Leeman pointed out that the original Greek word for ‘world’ in this passage is ‘aion’, which is translated in English as (can you guess?) ‘age’. What if this Scripture read, “Do not conform to the pattern of this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”? We might come to understand that having been saved by grace into the age of resurrection, what needs to change is how we think and live. This necessitates transformation to renew our minds into a new confidence because of who we are, and where we are, in the new life experience. This new age of resurrection into glory even on this side of heaven, if fully realized would indeed revolutionize our approach to each day that we live. How could it not?

In the Light of the New Age

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. 1 John 1:5-10 (NIV)

There is the age of darkness and the age of light. While we walk in this age of darkness in our natural bodies, we do so with the light of Christ alive in our spiritual hearts. Pastor Leeman talked about the moment that Jesus breathed into the hearts and minds of His disciples as a life-giving experience. In the book of Genesis God breathed life into Adam who in time did sin, resulting in man’s separation from God.

Suddenly, Jesus was standing there among them! “Peace be with you,” he said. As he spoke, he showed them the wounds in his hands and his side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord! Again he said, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I am sending you.” Then he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” John 20:19-22 (NIT)

Jesus breathed new life into the disciples in the New Testament reconciling man back into right relationship with God, ushering us into the new kingdom age of resurrection by His grace. John wrote that this breath of life is the light of God shining brightly in the darkness. He writes that where we were was dark in those dark ages; but today we live in the age of grace, resurrection, and light. Whenever we confess our sin it is not from the place of darkness. God is just to forgive us as we live in the light of the new age—in the hope and certainty of resurrection. He sacrificed His Son from the beginning to make resurrection (new life) certain for us.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure. 1 John 3:1-3 (NIV)

This is Scripture that takes on much more powerful emphasis when it is understood from the perspective of who we are in the Kingdom age of grace. Scripture can be confusing on the subject of sin unless it is considered from this perspective. The next several verses in 1 John 3 go on to say that to continue in sin is to break God’s law; even to align with the devil. But when this Scripture is dealt with in the context of the two ages, those being darkness and light, it divides people into what they were and what they are, as opposed to what they did and what they do.

Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him… This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him. 1 John 3:4-6, 19-22 (NLT)

Understand this truth: John is not writing that those who are in relationship with Christ will never sin. After all, he wrote that when we do sin and confess it, God is faithful to forgive. However, had we blown out the light of God and chosen to embrace the age of darkness, we would have never really seen or known Him. Had we, how could we reject the fullness of abundant life in favor of torturous death (hell)? How could we choose pain and struggle in favor of peace and joy? When trusting God by faith, we are certain of this hope of the light of the new day, trusting in the evidence of our spiritual experience, even if it is unseen by our human eyes.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever. 1 John 2:15-17 (NKJV)

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ. Titus 2:10-13 (NKJV)

Once again, when considering the translation ‘aion’ or ‘age’ in the context of this passage for the word ‘world’, it appears that Apostles Paul and John are stating the obvious. Since Jesus has buried into condemnation the sins of this former age, why would I cling to it? Why would I lust after, covet, and embrace the addictive things of this age that are passing away in the light of this new age of resurrection into grace? Why would I fall back into love with something that is dead and decomposing? My sin nature continues to look and reach back but in relationship with Christ, clean in the eyes of God, it runs contrary to my new nature in the hope of this new age of grace to take pride in what I was before. In relationship with God, I am reconciled, renewed, and restored into what God created me to be in the first place.     

It’s a new day! It is a day of hope! It is the experience of such hope that we are pure in the sight of God. Since this is the truth about the age of light—because God’s Word says so—when we struggle with forgiveness (How can God forgive me this time?), it really is our problem between our ears since we are not who and what we were, but rather that we are now the new creation in the light of the new day.

Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you, brothers and sisters, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. I Thessalonians 5:1-5 (NIV)

As Citizens of Heaven

Apostle Paul writes in this passage that there is a distinct difference between those living as citizens of heaven in the hope of the new day (age) and those who will be shocked by the sudden invasion of the Day of the Lord as if a thief invaded their home or like sudden labor pains when new life is breaking through from the woman who didn’t realize she was pregnant. Those who already realize they are pregnant with the hope and promise of new life are already living in anticipation of the experience of glory. The light of day in the new age of grace and resurrection is already at hand.

The challenge and promise is to choose to live in the light of the day. The challenge is to live in freedom. If only we could really… and I mean, really… believe this. We have the Bible, the written the Word of God. We have the testimony of the prophets and witnesses who have written of profound and powerful truth. What would it mean and do for us when tempted by our selfish, deceitful flesh if we could lay hold of the truth and promise of who and what we are in Christ?

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2 (NKJV)

Having heard this truth this past Sunday, redefines for me a whole lot of Scripture. The passage above from Hebrews 12 should remind us that we live in the age of resurrection with all of the great people of faith who have already passed into that side of heaven. The race set before us is new age living with a glorious purpose and calling. So why don’t we shed the weight? Why is it so difficult, for the joy that was set before us—what we have to look forward to, to endure our dealings on this side of heaven?

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Romans 7:24-8:4 (NIV)

What could not be accomplished by the law of Moses in the previous age, a temporary fix until the coming of the Messiah, is accomplished through the death of the flesh age and resurrected into the life of the new Spirit age. When I understand this, transformed with a renewed way of thinking from an eternal perspective as one alive today in the new age, it brings more life to so much more of what Scripture describes as our glorious future, while in a present tense. Paul obviously had incredible insight into this most glorious reality.

Many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Philippians 3:18-21 (NIV)

Apostle Paul is writing that we are already alive in the new eternal age as citizens of heaven anticipating the appearance of our Host. He is in the house preparing your room and mine as we anxiously prepare our hearts to break bread with Him at the banquet table. The table is set for a feast, but when our hearts are right, the food is an afterthought. It is being with the One we love that is at the forefront of our experience.

When I first dated my wife and took her to dinner, as hungry as I was for a meal, it hardly mattered to me. Her beauty captivated me. I was nervous. I desperately craved her attention and affection. As corny as it sounds, I got lost in her eyes and in her conversation. It was as though I was in a different place and time as if we were the only two in the room. Eating the dinner was a formality. All I cared about was relationship with her. I believe that is what Paul is writing about in Philippians chapter 3. It isn’t about the meal, Paul is starving for relationship with His Lord. He is lost in the beauty of His majesty. Paul is captivated by the Spirit of His compassionate mercy and love. Paul is overwhelmed by the attention and generous affection of Christ experienced in the depths of his soul. We live in that place with Christ right now, even as we walk and breathe with our mortal bodies still in this new, yet at the same time, former age.

With Dirty, Smelly Feet

Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become “fools” so that you may become wise. 1 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV)

Being that we are still here on planet earth, even while having minds focused on doing the will of God, Paul writes in Romans chapter 7 that we are still influenced by the presence of our sinful nature prone to selfishness. Our sinful nature is a slave to the law of sin, still. The law of sin is that it falls short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) and has been condemned to eternal dying (Romans 6:23). The sinful nature is attached to the former age, that which Christ has delivered us from. Paul writes that while our sinful nature continues to be a slave to the eternal consequence of sin, and we must continue to contend with the matter of that sinful nature present within us, we are no longer a slave to that sinful nature when we submit to the reality of who we are in the new eternal age in relationship with Christ.

The problem is that while we are cleansed in the righteousness of Jesus Christ, justified by faith (Romans 6), we will still get dirty when we give in to our selfish sinful nature. We are clean in the sight of God, our sin removed at the cross as we are delivered into the eternal age resurrected with Jesus, but dirty at the same time while also trying to manage where we live in this world—in this current/former age that is eternally dying.

Take a look at this story from John 13:3-12 (NIV). Read it carefully from the perspective of what you have read here. Consider what water baptism represents for the believer, the former self (age) dying going into the water only to be resurrected into new life (the new age). Water baptism is also symbolic of being bathed in the righteousness of our resurrected Lord and Savior. Read this with eyes to see and ears to hear what the Spirit is saying.  

³ Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; ⁴ so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. ⁵ After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

 ⁶ He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”

 ⁷ Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

 ⁸ “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”

   Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”

 ⁹ “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”

 ¹⁰ Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” ¹¹ For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.

 ¹² When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them.

So what did you get from this story that maybe wasn’t so obvious before? The story is about servanthood, no question about that. But something else is in there. Because of who we are as citizens of heaven today in the new eternal age of glory, we have been bathed clean in the righteousness of God through Christ Jesus in His resurrection. We are declared ‘good’ in the sight of God, just as Jesus was, only upon being resurrected into the new eternal age of glory while still a man, just before ascending to His position as King of kings and Lord of lords. We are adopted into the family that is the Kingdom of God, the eternal age that has come. We are in relationship with the Rock of… Ages.

In this reality, while we walk around in this world (aion) our new eternal age bodies are clean in the Spirit (new eternal age), but because of the sin nature we still contend with in this life on earth in the age of flesh, our feet smell. We have an Advocate in Christ who continuously washes our feet each time we return to Him to confess our sin. The whole body doesn’t need a bath, Jesus did that already. Only are smelly feet need washing. We are then called to confess to one another and disciple one another washing each other’s feet in a spiritual sense, carrying one another’s burden while persecuted in the “former” age for His name sake; representative of what Jesus does for us continually.

What amazing truth! Meditate on it for awhile. Allow it to be your inspiration for recovery from all of the stuff in this life gets your feet dirty. Recognize who you are from God’s perspective; then find joy in that, no matter what you are facing today.

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do. James 1:23-25 (NIV)

Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But when God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life. Titus 3:3-7

Walk on Water Lately? (“Faith is an ocean you can walk on”)

by Steven Gledhill for the FREEdom from MEdom Project

“Why don’t we trust God?” Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.” Faith comes from hope being realized in substance according to the evidence. We don’t see gravity but we experience gravity all the time. We know the truth about gravity and come to trust it even though we do not see it. It could be said that we have a relationship with gravity. Our lives are touched by gravity everyday.

The truth is that freedom is achieved through a revolutionary event. ‘Revolutionary’ means a sudden, radical, or complete change; a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something; a change in paradigm (belief, world view), meaning your standard for living. A sudden revelation of faith having encountered the Savior, Jesus Christ, will speak life into how you experience revolutionary transformative recovery in how you live everyday—a new standard of thinking and living, with healthy hopeful expectations. It is in relationship with Jesus that you will come to know God to be real and living. It is in relationship with Christ that you enter into the new age of grace that will usher you into the experience of new life.

Now immediately Jesus had His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side. And when He sent the multitudes away, He went up to the mountain by Himself to pray. By evening, He was alone there. But the boat was now in the middle of the sea tossed by the waves, for the wind was opposing them. Now in the forth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. And immediately Jesus spoke to them, “Cheer up, it’s Me! Don’t be afraid.”

And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried out, Lord save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Jesus, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.” Matthew 14:22-33 (NKJV)

I love this story. What a moment in the relationship Jesus had with Peter. We can all agree that Peter was the one that had enough faith to get out of the boat. There were two people in the Bible that walked on water. Jesus, of course, but the other person that walked on water was Peter. We often focus on the fact that Peter doubted and began to sink. We tend to forget that Peter’s faith in Christ was quite impressive. Peter did indeed walk on water—an impossible feat.

Peter recognized that Jesus was doing something that was impossible for him to do. He could admit that it was outside of the realm of his own ability to walk on water. Peter shouted out to Jesus, “If it’s You, Lord, command me to walk on the water.” Peter believed that only Jesus could command the water to support his body so that he could walk on it. Jesus responded to Peter, “The water’s nice, come on in!” Peter committed to trusting Jesus. He got out of the boat and walked on the water. Peter did well trusting Jesus until he realized he was walking in the middle of the sea surrounded by waves blown about by boisterous winds, and he became overwhelmed by his circumstance and wavered in his commitment to trust Jesus to help him with his problem.

Gripped by fear, Peter dropped like a rock, but Scripture assures us that Jesus was right there to catch him. As soon as Peter began to sink he reached up and Jesus caught him. He would not let Peter drown in his circumstance.

Here is something else to think about. How far was Jesus from the boat when Peter got out and began walking on water? Jesus was far enough away that the disciples were not sure they recognized him. Remember, Peter said, “If it’s you…” Wherever Jesus was in the sea relative to his distance from the boat, Peter walked on water to within an arm’s length of Jesus. I don’t know but Peter may have walked some distance before he sank and was caught. While it was definitely a teaching moment, I tend to think Jesus had a smile on his face when he said to Peter, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

I imagine that Jesus displayed a grin, as if to say to Peter, “What’s the problem, big guy, you’re only walking on water?” Peter walked on water! The Bible says Jesus was received into the boat, but what about Peter? Peter walked on water together with Jesus back to the boat. I’m sure Peter was still quite frightened even as he walked with Jesus back to the boat. I’ll even guess that Peter hung on for dear life to the arm of Christ as they walked.

Pastor Fran Leeman (LifeSpring Community Church, Plainfield, IL) spoke about Peter walking on water out to Jesus. Peter and the disciples were sailing in the midst of a terrible storm when he saw Jesus, apparently standing out on the water. How was this possible? How could a man stand on the water? Peter shouted out, “Jesus, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes come,” Jesus said (Matthew 14:28-29, NLT). Pastor Leeman pointed out that he would have said, “Jesus, if it’s you, calm the storm!” He said he would have wanted to see the evidence that it was Jesus, but that Peter took a much different approach. Rather than ask Jesus to prove himself real by doing the impossible, Peter asked Jesus to empower him, Peter, to do the impossible by the power given him by Jesus. What profound truth.

Recovery in the midst of your circumstances can feel like you are walking on water in order to manage. But if it’s in your own strength and not in relationship with Jesus then it’s likely you are overwhelmed and sinking, or perhaps drowning. With Christ, you have the ability—even authority—in the middle of all of it to do something extraordinary. Call on Jesus. Then, as he says, “Come to me,” get out of the boat that is your comfort-zone and walk on water with Jesus, even if you’re hanging on for dear life.

My Problem with Hank… Prisoner Set Free!

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

See that no one pays back wrong for wrong, but at all times make it your aim to do good to one another and to all people. Be joyful always, pray at all times, be thankful in all circumstances. This is what God wants from you in your life in union with Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:15-18 (Good News Translation)

What happens when you let a wild animal out of its cage after locking it up for some time? It likely is that the animal still untamed will go wild on everything in sight once set free. When considering the context of the twelve-step model, the men who behave like they are untamed and out of control, might admit that they are powerless against their drug use and criminal lifestyle. They might even suggest that their reckless lifestyle is a power greater than themselves rendering their lives unmanageable. When that is the case, incarceration turns out to be the power greater than themselves and their preoccupation with drugs and crime that restores their lives to manageability. Outside of understanding to this point is that if one needs prison to be restored to manageability, it is still an insane way to manage one’s life.

The key for people in prison is to do the work of recovery while in the cage so that they can begin to experience a sense of freedom while locked up. Coming into, or back into, relationship with God is pivotal to a restored stable life. If they do, when they are let out of the cage they exhibit temperance since they have been set free in their spirit.

There are men at the prison I work at who return to a healthy relationship with God while serving their time for crimes committed against people like you. They are guilty. They are ashamed of their behavior whether or not they were charged for it. The men in recovery returning to God in prison are neck deep in shame for what they have done and initially can have difficulty reconciling with God and accepting forgiveness. They realize they will have to live with the fact that the victims of their crimes are also loved by God and there will not be opportunity to reconcile with them (at least not in this life). The result can be unresolved shame that can continue to define and weaken the man hoping to get right with God in recovery. Essential to freedom from shame is for the man in prison to see himself the way God sees him, like the father who reconciled himself to his prodigal son, wearing the robe that is God’s Son, Jesus; the robe of righteousness.

Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:20 (NLT)

I have heard these men in recovery from addiction, freed from their captivity, bound by their drugs of choice, memories of a shameful devastating past riddled with guilt, and a tragedy of a life, exclaim, “I’ve got my life back”, and “I am happier than I’ve ever been in my life”. Without exception, these men have experienced healing and deliverance into recovery empowered by God in the person of Jesus Christ. It is my privilege to know them and play a role in their recovery into a new life experience.

However, I have a problem. His name is Hank, or at least that is what I will call him. Hank, an African-American in his late 40s, is a client (inmate) at the correctional center that I counsel at. Every morning that I come in to work I am greeted by Hank. He says to me enthusiastically, “Good morning Mr. Steve, how are you today?” I respond, “Good Hank, how are you?” His response to me on the prison block is, “I’m great!” This has been Hank’s response to me every day but one since I have known him. The one day is when Hank responded, “I’m alright”. It was an especially difficult day that day. And that is all I can say about it. Otherwise, Hank is at a high and lofty place that, even as a brother to him in Christ, I struggle to relate with. It’s a problem for me.

My problem is that Hank is absolutely genuine through and through. Hank loves his Redeemer. He expresses his love through the extension of God’s generous love wherever and whenever he can. He makes it a point to bless me every day I come in to work. While my challenge working in the prison setting is substantial, the rewards are eternal and touch me deeply. When I get around Hank, while I am blessed and encouraged, I am challenged in my spirit – in my attitude concerning my giving of my time and resources as an expression of gratitude for God’s gift of mercy in my life. Why don’t I seem to appreciate and love my Savior Jesus Christ the way Hank does?

You see, Hank is a recovering heroin addict that committed crimes again and again throughout his adult life to support his drug addiction at the expense of everyone he loves and that love him. He is sober in prison and has returned to a loving merciful gracious relationship with Jesus Christ. I am not his primary counselor so I don’t know his entire story. There were times when Hank did not realize his need for relationship with Jesus; times when if approached by Jesus the conversation might have gone something like this:

Jesus: “Hank, if you put your trust in me, I will change you and set you free from what imprisons you, and you will indeed be set free by this truth I give you.”

Hank: “Set free… set free from what? When was I ever imprisoned?

The man is IN prison! He has been imprisoned by drug addiction long before he spent even a second in jail.

So Jesus would have to tell him matter-of-factly, “Hank, you been in prison for years… imprisoned by addiction to drugs and alcohol… imprisoned by life in the streets… imprisoned by expectations… imprisoned by the lies you been conned into believing… imprisoned by your addiction to you in your selfishness. Anyone who has given themselves over to selfish sin is in prison. You are imprisoned by the streets. They are not your family. They have sold you into slavery to addiction in all of its forms. When you leave all that and turn to having relationship with me, I most certainly assure you that you will know, by experience, freedom into a real loving family like you have never known before.”

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” “But we are descendants of Abraham,” they said. “We have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean, ‘You will be set free’?” Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free. John 8:32-34 (NLT)

Hank has been in and out of relationship with Jesus before. What I mean by “out” is that in his addiction and crime, Hank will ignore who and what he is in relationship with Christ. For all I know, this is what has happened before; perhaps several times. Hank enters the joint, gets clean and sober, does so with the empowering support of his Lord and Savior, does his time, gets out and returns home, does alright for awhile going to meetings, is in loving relationships with his family and friends, and then… one thing leads to another, and Hank is overwhelmed by the temptations that trigger relapse, he lapses from his recovery routines, and relapses deep into his addiction. Deep into his addiction, his relationship with God suffers, he suffers, his loved ones suffer, and then society suffers when he “has” to commit crimes to accumulate enough resources to finance his hell into the bondage of heroin addiction.

In his addiction, Hank is in a kind of hell. He is lost in his insanity, in a world he so prefers not to live in. He hates his life there. As he has gotten older, Hank is aware that his life is a tragedy. He, like Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 7, is doing the things he hates. But he cannot stop! Like Paul, Hank is miserable; wretched.

The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate… I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. Romans 7:14-15… 21-25 (NLT)

Dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:1-2 (NLT)

Thank God, for Paul, for Hank, for you, and for me, there is no condemnation for those in relationship with Christ. While Hank’s spiritual life is suffering, it is not dead. Thank God! You see, Hank is not alone in his story of addiction, repentance, recovery, and relapse. Scripture is loaded with stories that follow along the cycle of addiction for the person who professes to love God. I have written before about King David’s life of temptation, sin, addiction, repentance, recovery, relapse, repentance, recovery, relapse, repentance, recovery, relapse… you get the gist.

“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” Luke 7:47 (NLT)

Hank gets this on a level that is beyond what I can comprehend. Even though, in the eyes of God, his sin is no more egregious than mine – sin is sin; and even though Jesus, fully human, suffered the same torture and condemnation for my sin as He did Hank’s, I do not seem to appreciate this opportunity I have to live my life in Christ the way Hank does his… and HANK IS IN PRISON!!!

In my quest to more fully understand Hank’s zest for life in the face of his circumstances, it is finally dawning on me, at least on an intellectual level. Hank lives to serve! Hank lives to show real genuine gratitude for what Christ has done for him, not only because he is forgiven and reconciled back into right relationship with God, Hank is FREE! In prison Hank is free. He has been set free… yet again… from the hell that is his addiction. Hank’s peace and joy is authentic. It is realized in his opportunity to serve. And look at the population of men God has put in Hank’s path to serve. (Excuse me while I clear the lump that just came in my throat. I more deeply understand this on a much more emotion level even now as I pound away at the keyboard.) I wonder if that is why David was a man after God’s own heart. As wrecked as he was by his addictions (read 2nd Samuel and Psalm 38), I wonder how David may have served while he was in that repentant place, as a humble man, but also using his position as king to love on his people.

I think Hank is doing great because he is in a way, experiencing God’s righteousness – that being God’s most and best in his life, a kind of heaven – even in prison. The following is something I heard recently that might describe how we realize heaven and hell while we’re on this earth (I tried researching but cannot conclude where it’s from). I have taken the liberty to modify and embellish according to my take on it.

As I prayed, I said to God, “I have friends who are not afraid of hell because they think it’s going to be one big party and everyone who’s anyone is going to be there. What do you say hell is?” Then God responded by giving me a vision of hell. I saw a sea of people sitting around a banquet table as long as the eye can see. At the table was a feast of the highest quality. Steam was still coming off this freshly cooked feast and the aroma coming off each entrée was to die for. Each plate was stacked high as if these people would be doing nothing but eat of the best cuisine they’d ever laid their eyes on. I didn’t understand. Nobody was eating. Then I noticed something peculiar. They all had forks that were three feet long. They all sat helpless looking at their food. Occasionally, I would see someone stab at their food hoping the next time they would somehow miraculously put it up to their salivating mouth but the result was the same. The fork was too long. They were helpless. They all sat their starving and thirsty, groaning in pain as their bloated stomachs ached for something to eat, and oh for just a drop of water on their tongue. Eventually the food would rot and rats climbed up on the table for their own feast. Then all of a sudden the table was cleared and newly cooked food appeared, and the cycle of discontent and desperation started all over again, repeating itself again and again, for what felt like an eternity. These people were devastated, lonely, and in despair, wanting to die… desperate to die. It was obvious where I was in that place. Though it wasn’t what I expected, that was hell.

Then God gave me a vision of heaven. Once again there was this sea of people sitting around a banquet table as long as the eye could see. At the table was a feast of the highest quality. Steam was still coming off this freshly cooked feast and the aroma coming off each entrée was to die for. Each plate was stacked high as if these people would be doing nothing but eat of the best cuisine they’d ever laid their eyes on. What I did not expect all at once amazed and confounded me. They all had three-foot long forks as well. What? They have three-foot forks in heaven, too? But these people were all eating and loving every second of the fellowship of each other’s company as they served one another, feeding each other. They were having great conversation, laughing, enjoying the feast of a lifetime and having the most incredible time. They never seemed to get full and the food and desserts just kept coming. It was breathtaking. These companions all had love in their eyes as they served one another as if it was an honor and a privilege. They all loved each other so much. The love and the grace on display were most evident. It was obvious where I was in this place. This was heaven.

Some cynics will read this allegory and miss the point. They’ll ask, “Why couldn’t they put down their three-foot forks and eat with their hands?” For the rest of us this is powerful. For me when I heard it, it was one of the most powerful things I’d heard. Those folks in hell in their selfishness didn’t even have it in them to think of how they could help each other. All they knew was to mercilessly struggle to help themselves when the solution – servanthood – was right there in front of them. We were put here to be stewards of God’s resources and care for one another as we would ourselves. Instead, we have chomped into the forbidden fruit of what God said would kill us and we ate without regard for consequence. What we sow we will reap.

I have written a lot about ambivalence in recovery God’s way. Ambivalence is my internal disagreement between conflicting desires – between what I might understand intellectually versus what might be driving me emotionally (both impulses are selfish though my feelings tend to be more impulsively reactive). The desires are in conflict, or disagreement, because they represent a moral dilemma, though the issue of morality isn’t necessarily based on an absolute standard, but founded in the standard of the one having to choose. I cannot have both of what I want. To have the one thing means not having the other unless I am willing to face the consequence trying to obtain both. So I must decide.

“There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, “Thy will be done,” and those to whom God says, in the end, “Thy will be done.” All that are in hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. Those who knock it is opened.” —C.S. Lewis

I want this and I want that but they are opposite of each other. To have this means I cannot have that, and to have that means I cannot have this. My core belief of entitlement, though, says to me loudly that I can have it all so let’s risk it all. The reality however is as follows: this thing leads to life and that other thing leads to death. This is richly and eternally satisfying, while that brings instant gratification for a season that is fleeting and temporary, but is in the end futile and unfulfilling. There is no satisfaction in that, but like Hank, I still find that attractive, alluring, and I proceed to indulge in that yet again. I can’t take my eyes off me. This is heaven and that I have come to recognize as hell but in the moment I think I see some heaven in that and I proceed yet again to go to that hoping it will be different this time. But no, I am dissatisfied still with that. How insane is that? Like Hank, David, and Paul, I knowingly continue to choose that which I don’t really want since I remember that that leads me back to hell but willingly I go there anyway. It’s as though I keep reaching for my three-foot fork and think that at some point my way will work. It never does but still, I can’t take my eyes off me. That repeats itself again and again for what feels like an eternity. I am at times devastated, lonely, and in despair, maybe even wanting to die. It should be obvious where I am in that place. That is hell. So why don’t I choose this, which is heaven for me in this life, serving the pleasure of the One who willingly sacrificed and saved me from hell?

What is my problem with Hank?

I envy Hank’s generous and willing spirit. He lives in prison and he’ll be there for awhile, but he lives in the experience of joy. I have so much yet I am a taker. Hank seemingly has so little yet he is a giver. What’s wrong with me?! I can’t take my eyes off me, that’s what’s wrong. Hank has taken his eyes off himself and he has targeted his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, focused on whatever He has called him to do. Jesus says to Hank in His Word… SERVE, so Hank serves with deft willingness. Hank serves with a humble spirit, in the unspeakable joy of his Lord. Humble service is where the peace and the joy come from for Hank. Hank, committed to the plan and purpose of God from a heart of gratitude to Him who has delivered him from hell through a resurrected life, serves His Master obediently. Hank lays down his life as His Lord Jesus did, and serves at the calling of His Master. That’s right I just used the inference a second time of a black man offering his life to his Master. But this time it is good. It is right. Just ask Hank. Ask Hank how he’s doing. I can tell you his response… “GRRREAT!!!”

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

“Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ Matthew 25:34-40 (NLT)

My pastor likes to say it like this, and I am paraphrasing:

“While you cannot on your own make the world a better place,
you can find your own place in the world and make it better.”

Hank may be stuck in prison away from the people he loves, but he and so many others like him are serving the Lord from hearts of gratitude and love, doing what they can in their place in the world and they are making it better. This world is a better place with Hank in it. And with that I have no problem.