by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

Are You Under the Influence?

I can to some extent control my acts. I have no direct control over my temperament. If what we are matters even more than what we do—if indeed if what we do matters chiefly as evidence of what we are—then it follows that the change which I most need to undergo is a change that my own direct, voluntary efforts cannot bring about. —C.S. Lewis

The Bible tells us that there are two influential forces at work in the lives of us humans. There is the flesh, and then there is the Spirit. The flesh is our human nature under the controlling influence of human desire. The Spirit is the Spirit of God, under whose authority we are all subject. God created you and me as human beings with human desire. God did not intend for human desire to be impure and corrupt. However, since we are created with free will, and considering that we are not God, we are vulnerable to temptation in our flesh, and will give in to temptation and fall prey to sin. That, my friends, is a fact. Another fact is that our sin will kill and destroy us.

So God, in His infinite wisdom and compassionate grace, from the beginning has given us the way out through a relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life…” When under the controlling influence of the Spirit of Christ, we are able to access the power of God in our life in such a way as to be completely transformed into someone that willingly chooses to love God and serve Him. Under the influence of the Spirit of Christ we have been blessed immeasurably. So then, why don’t we live in the experience of immeasurable blessing , transcendent peace, and unspeakable joy—joy so amazing one cannot put it into words?

Even the Apostle Paul identified with this dilemma. He said on the one hand that he had learned the secret of being content (Philippians 4), while having discovered the principle of this life that he was miserable under the control of sin, stating that he was a slave to sin (Romans 7). Paul would go on to say that it is God’s grace that is sufficient in his weakness (2 Corinthians 12). He wrote quite a bit about the battle between flesh and Spirit (Romans 8). The ‘S’ in the word Spirit is capitalized since it refers to the Spirit of God in the person of Jesus Christ. The human spirit is still flesh consisting of both the strongest of desire and the full weight of its conscience. The frontal regions of the human brain that affects judgment and caution can be easily overrun by the influence of human desire and motivation. That is why Paul wrote that he tends to do what he does not want to do, and does not do the thing he wants to do. In other words, when as a servant of the Lord, he wants to do good and right, he inevitably does what is bad and wrong.

There is an Oprah Winfrey episode from 2005 with actress Tracy Gold. Tracy had been drinking at a barbeque with friends. When it was time to go, the decision had been made that Tracy would drive her husband and three sons home since her husband was too drunk to drive. At about the 20-minute mark on the ride home, Tracy lost control of the vehicle and it rolled several times down the embankment of the highway. The baby in the carseat was unhurt. Another son, had cuts and bruises. Her oldest son, sitting in the back of their SUV, was thrown from the vehicle and suffered a broken collarbone. Her drunken husband broke his neck. An officer was quoted as saying, “It was a horrific accident; it’s lucky no one was killed.”

It turns out that Tracy Gold’s Blood Alcohol Content was twice the legal limit in the State of California. She’d been drinking here and there for five hours and still had at least four drinks in her system at the time of the accident. Tracy said to Oprah (paraphrasing), “You always say to listen to your inner voice. I obviously was impaired. I don’t drink and drive. Had I listened to my inner voice I would not have drove that night.”

I contend that Tracy Gold did listen to her inner voice. There lies the problem. Tracy said that she does not drink and drive. She knew she was impaired. Intellectually, she knew not to drive. In her conscience she knew not to drive. However, it was her deepest desire that ultimately had the greatest influence over her decision to drive even though it’s safe to say she had at least 8-10 drinks that night (she’d likely metabolized five by the time she had tested positive for alcohol). She knew not to drink and drive, yet she risked the lives of her husband and children as she rolled her vehicle down a hill. It was her inner voice—her self-centered ‘me’dom desire that insisted that it would be too much of an inconvenience to find another option to get home that night. It would be embarrassing to her and to her children to have a cab roll up after the party. It would be a hassle to go back to get the vehicle the next day.

Tracy Gold was under the influence of alcohol, but even more than that, she was under the influence of her own self-centered desires and motives. The point here is that we must understand that our inner voice is selfishly corrupt wanting what we do not have and wanting more of what we do have. Under its influence we continually give in to its power. Look at what James writes about it.

“For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.” James 3:16

We are under the controlling influence of our inner voice. Our inner voice is not only selfish, it’s ruthless. The saying that we hurt the ones we love the most is true. Tracy Gold and her husband risked their children’s lives that night. Alcoholics and drug addicts will sacrifice their families to get high. Adulterers will risk their marriages and families to get the high of immediate sexual gratification. Spouses will yell and abuse one another, even in front of their children to get that high of immediate gratification that comes from raising one’s voice (increased dopamine and serotonin levels).

As families, we argue and fight with each other until we get what we want. Our inner voice convinces us that we can and will get what we want if we fight hard enough for it. When as a parent you try to tell your child, “You think that is what you want (immediate but small picture) but that’s not really what you want (big picture),” you are trying to persuade your child that what they think they want is the lie told to them by their inner voice. Later on down the road, when the child sees life more clearly having experienced bumps in the road—sometimes severe and brutal; they will realize that what they thought they wanted they never wanted, really, now that they know what they know now. But until our kids see things more clearly, instead of listening to you, your kids will heed the passion of their inner desires and leadings of their inner voice, make foolish decisions, and pay the price.

“What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.” James 4:1-3

This truth was articulted so well by Pastor Fran Leeman (LifeSpring Community Church, Plainfield, IL) when he spoke of how, when we pray, we tend to think we know what we want and pray to be blessed according to what we want. The best of God’s blessing in our lives comes from when we come to completely trust Him and seek to be blessed as He sees fit for us. What do you believe about God—really believe about God? Do you pray, asking God to bless you with everything He wants and has for you, according to His purposeful plan for you?

Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”? But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “ God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” James 4:5

There are differences in how this Scripture is translated. I chose the New King James Translation since it makes my point. It is obvious that the human spirit, or inner voice, is full of envy and lust and by nature is in conflict with its maker. If, when considering the NKJV translation, we are able to comprehend, to the extent that we can, that the Spirit of Christ alive in us “yearns jealously” for you and for me to be in the kind of relationship with Him that we submit ourselves under the influence of His authority, He can and will bless us immeasurably. You parents out there yearn jealously for your children. You yearn for your kids to heed your teachings and to do and be what proves to be provident and prosperous long-term in the big picture. We need to let God be at work in transforming our inner voice by rearranging how are brains work (Romans 12:1-2). God promises to take us where only He can, beyond even our wildest imagination. If only we would trust God and the leading of His voice, instead of being led by the nose listening to our inner voice speaking on behalf of our lustful, greedy, covetous, and even vengeful passions and desires.

The kind of transformative work that God wants to do in our life is beyond what we would even think to want or ask for. Even when God helps us out of difficulty and pain He wants to do in us so much more, for our benefit. I have included here a passage from C.S. Lewis, from his book “Mere Christianity”. Let the revelation and power within this passage sink in and resonate with you as he elaborates on Christ’s words when He said, “Be ye perfect”.

Some people tend to think this means, “Unless you are perfect, I will not help you”; and as we cannot be perfect, then, if He meant that, our position is hopeless. But I do not think he did mean that. I think He meant, “The only help I give is help to become perfect. You may want less, but I will give you nothing less.” Let me explain. When I was a child I often had a toothache, and I knew if I went to my mother she would give me something which would deaden the pain for that night and let me get to sleep. But I did not go to my mother—at least not until the pain became very bad. And the reason I did not go was this: I did not doubt that she would give the aspirin; but I knew she would also do something else. I knew she would make me go to the dentist the next morning. I could get what I wanted out of her without getting something more, which I did not want. I wanted immediate relief from pain, but I could not get it without having my teeth set permanently right. And I knew those dentists. I knew they started fiddling about with all sorts of other teeth which had not yet begun to ache.

When you live under the influence of Jesus Christ in your life He is like the dentist. When you are submitted to the transformed life under His influence, God will go beyond the place in your life that aches. He will “fiddle about with all sorts of other teeth” because He knows that these are places that need His touch or they will become even more infected until you cannot move because of the pain and difficulty. What God does is take the things that are old and dying, and transforms them into something new and full of life, beyond what you even know to want for yourself.

C.S. Lewis (“Mere Christianity”) borrows a parable from author, George McDonald, and wrote the following:

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on. You knew these jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come in and live in it Himself.

The command “Be ye perfect” is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do something impossible. He is going to make us into creatures that can obey that command… If we let Him—for we can prevent Him, if we choose—He will make the feeblest and filthiest of us into a dazzling, radiant, immortal creature, pulsating all through with such energy and joy and wisdom and love as we cannot now imagine, a bright stainless mirror which reflects back to God perfectly His own boundless power and delight and goodness. The process will be long and in parts very painful, but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:16-21

When the day comes that you and I actually get this, there is no telling the extent to which we can experience God’s full blessing personally, in our families, churches, communities, and nations. This is the essence of ‘me’dom recovery and to truly experience freedom. Do you know God today—I mean, really know Him? As we let go of what we cannot control (Admit), come to fully know God (Believe), and submit to the controlling influence of His Spirit (Commit), we will be transformed and renewed; re-energized in the experience of His immeasurable blessing, transcendent peace, and unspeakable joy.

Take a few minutes and pray that God reveals to you the truth of what you have just read, and that He empowers you to let go, believing that you can make it, with the courage to do what He communicates to your will to do.

Work out your own salvation (recovery) with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Philippians 2:12b-13 (NKJV)

Revolutionary Transformation (Evidence for Faith)

What does it take to experience change and feel better—be better?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2

The truth is that freedom is achieved through a revolutionary event. ‘Revolutionary’ means a sudden, radical, or complete change; a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something; a change in paradigm (belief, world view), meaning your standard for living. FFMP’s objective is to promote revolutionary recovery in how you live everyday—a new standard of thinking and living, with healthy hopeful expectations. God desires to transform your life into something new: from a caterpillar seemingly stuck in its tracks hardly able to move, into a butterfly full of life soaring to new heights in your life experience. The thing is you can know God, experiencing His impact on your life if by faith you will let go and trust Him to help you. Ever say to yourself, “It’s gonna take a miracle…”?

The following video is the revolutionary event that started it all for you and for me. Through Christ’s act of sacrifice at the cross, God extended His hand of mercy to each and every one of us no matter where we’ve been or what we’ve done. The miracle of resurrection and grace did not end there, it began there. Jesus, today, is inviting you to let go of the mess so that He can perform the miracle—the revolutionary event—of resurrection in your life. As you stare into the face of the miracle maker, you are gazing into the eyes of the One who will rearrange you into something new and beautiful.

The transforming work of God is that He rebuilds you and me into something new. C.S. Lewis wrote that, even though we might only want an aspirin to relieve the immediate pain of a tooth ache, God intends to permanently set right all of our teeth. It is not the plan or purpose of God that we merely survive, with mere moments of relief from the pain of shame and discontentment, but that we live a full life of freedom in the experience of His peace and joy. God wants to reshape us into something more beautiful than we can imagine. He wants to bless us with what we don’t even know to desire. He wants to take us to where we would never even think to go.

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on. You knew these jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come in and live in it Himself.” —C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Evidence that Demands a Verdict

FREEdom from MEdom Project is a venture in faith. Here’s a secret about faith: faith isn’t blind, nor is it ignorant. Faith is the realization of the truth one has longed to believe in. Faith is an experience rooted in the substance and evidence in something unseen. Have you ever seen gravity or oxygen? Like gravity and oxygen, you may not see the subject of your faith, but there is clear evidence that it is real by experience. You’ve never seen your brain, but you believe you have one. Have you ever seen a radio signal or a cell phone signal? Yet they are all around you all of the time. Someone said that if you could see all of the signals in downtown Chicago you would not be able to see your hand in front of your face. Have you ever actually seen hot or cold? Have you experienced the evidence of hot and cold? We experience what we don’t see all the time; therefore, we know it’s real. While we learn to trust in what we do not see, we put our faith in what we know by experience to be true. When we don’t trust God, it’s because we don’t really know God.

You know, we don’t see wind either but we see and experience evidence of it everyday. The howling of the wind that we hear is not actually the wind sounding off but the obstruction that is resistant to the wind. The howling noise is the sound of resistance. If we move in harmony with the wind, instead of holding us back, the powerful force of the wind propels us. God is like the wind wanting to impact our lives by experience—everyday. When we resist God we hear the howling of our resistance in our circumstances that prove so dissatisfying. When we’re moving with God, He propels us, and our troubles aren’t so loud. The more we know God the more we’ll trust Him, and the more confidence we’ll have when we communicate with Him—and the less we will resist His influence in our lives. When we come to believe and trust in the evidence, the verdict is that we will then experience the wonderful life benefits of our faith.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)

To experience the blessing of being transformed into something new requires that we let go of what we cannot control anyway. We must engage into relationship with God, trusting Him to and empower us and to do in us what we cannot do for ourselves on our own. This means turning our will (desires and intentions) and our lives (what we do and everyone involved and affected by what we do) over to the care of the One with boundless power and control as we have come to believe in Him. This suggests then that, even though there exists doubt in what we cannot see, we put our faith in the possibility—the hope—that Jesus can and will do what He said He can and will do if we let Him; because we know Him, according to the evidence. In this we live in the perfect will of God, His best for you and for me.

A father brought his tormented son to Jesus and said,
“If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” “If you can?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:22-24

When you believe by faith in Jesus Christ, the known God who knows and understands you, and wants His best for you, it really becomes sensible that you would surrender and turn it all over to Him. Does it make sense to you to turn your will and life over to Him since you believe? Believe this: that God wants His best for you so much more than you can possibly want it. You might want out of some things; but getting out of something means getting into what? Hmm… God knows what you are missing and wants desperately to deliver it to you, both in this lifetime and in the next.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is going to be revealed to us… For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation… creation itself will also be set free from bondage of corruption into glorious freedom… if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with patience. from Romans 8:18-25 (HCSB)

Walk on Water Lately? (“Faith is an ocean you can walk on”)

“Why don’t we trust God?” Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.” Faith comes from hope being realized in substance according to the evidence. We don’t see gravity but we experience gravity all the time. We know the truth about gravity and come to trust it even though we do not see it. It could be said that we have a relationship with gravity. Our lives are touched by gravity everyday.

The truth is that freedom is achieved through a revolutionary event. ‘Revolutionary’ means a sudden, radical, or complete change; a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something; a change in paradigm (belief, world view), meaning your standard for living. A sudden revelation of faith having encountered the Savior, Jesus Christ, will speak life into how you experience revolutionary transformative recovery in how you live everyday—a new standard of thinking and living, with healthy hopeful expectations. It is in relationship with Jesus that you will come to know God to be real and living. It is in relationship with Christ that you enter into the new age of grace that will usher you into the experience of new life.

Now immediately Jesus had His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side. And when He sent the multitudes away, He went up to the mountain by Himself to pray. By evening, He was alone there. But the boat was now in the middle of the sea tossed by the waves, for the wind was opposing them. Now in the forth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. And immediately Jesus spoke to them, “Cheer up, it’s Me! Don’t be afraid.”

And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, he cried out, Lord save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Jesus, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.” Matthew 14:22-33 (NKJV)

I love this story. What a moment in the relationship Jesus had with Peter. We can all agree that Peter was the one that had enough faith to get out of the boat. There were two people in the Bible that walked on water. Jesus, of course, but the other person that walked on water was Peter. We often focus on the fact that Peter doubted and began to sink. We tend to forget that Peter’s faith in Christ was quite impressive. Peter did indeed walk on water—an impossible feat.

Peter recognized that Jesus was doing something that was impossible for him to do. He could admit that it was outside of the realm of his own ability to walk on water. Peter shouted out to Jesus, “If it’s You, Lord, command me to walk on the water.” Peter believed that only Jesus could command the water to support his body so that he could walk on it. Jesus responded to Peter, “The water’s nice, come on in!” Peter committed to trusting Jesus. He got out of the boat and walked on the water. Peter did well trusting Jesus until he realized he was walking in the middle of the sea surrounded by waves blown about by boisterous winds, and he became overwhelmed by his circumstance and wavered in his commitment to trust Jesus to help him with his problem.

Gripped by fear, Peter dropped like a rock, but Scripture assures us that Jesus was right there to catch him. As soon as Peter began to sink he reached up and Jesus caught him. He would not let Peter drown in his circumstance.

Here is something else to think about. How far was Jesus from the boat when Peter got out and began walking on water? Jesus was far enough away that the disciples were not sure they recognized him. Remember, Peter said, “If it’s you…” Wherever Jesus was in the sea relative to his distance from the boat, Peter walked on water to within an arm’s length of Jesus. I don’t know but Peter may have walked some distance before he sank and was caught. While it was definitely a teaching moment, I tend to think Jesus had a smile on his face when he said to Peter, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

I imagine that Jesus displayed a grin, as if to say to Peter, “What’s the problem, big guy, you’re only walking on water?” Peter walked on water! The Bible says Jesus was received into the boat, but what about Peter? Peter walked on water together with Jesus back to the boat. I’m sure Peter was still quite frightened even as he walked with Jesus back to the boat. I’ll even guess that Peter hung on for dear life to the arm of Christ as they walked.

Pastor Fran Leeman (LifeSpring Community Church, Plainfield, IL) spoke about Peter walking on water out to Jesus. Peter and the disciples were sailing in the midst of a terrible storm when he saw Jesus, apparently standing out on the water. How was this possible? How could a man stand on the water? Peter shouted out, “Jesus, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes come,” Jesus said (Matthew 14:28-29, NLT). Pastor Leeman pointed out that he would have said, “Jesus, if it’s you, calm the storm!” He said he would have wanted to see the evidence that it was Jesus, but that Peter took a much different approach. Rather than ask Jesus to prove himself real by doing the impossible, Peter asked Jesus to empower him, Peter, to do the impossible by the power given him by Jesus. What profound truth.

Recovery in the midst of your circumstances can feel like you are walking on water in order to manage. But if it’s in your own strength and not in relationship with Jesus then it’s likely you are overwhelmed and sinking, or perhaps drowning. With Christ, you have the ability—even authority—in the middle of all of it to do something extraordinary. Call on Jesus. Then, as he says, “Come to me,” get out of the boat that is your comfort-zone and walk on water with Jesus, even if you’re hanging on for dear life.

BRAINWASHED into Something Beautiful… New Life

Anyone reading this struggling with smoking cigarettes? Anyone trying to lose weight or stick to a healthy diet? Anyone trying to cut spending and stay on budget? Anyone trying to quit or cut back on alcohol consumption? Anyone trying to stop their drug use? Anyone feeling conviction about exceeding their pain medicine dosage or staying on prescription medication that might not be so necessary? Anyone feeling some guilt or shame about pornography, or with the positive attention and perhaps affection exchanged with someone that is not your spouse? Anyone out there having a hard time controlling your temper or with lying or gossip? Can’t get off the computer or away from the television?

• “I hate that I smoke but I love the feeling and satisfaction it brings.”
• “I hate that I overeat but carbs and preservatives are so satisfying.”
• “I want to have money but spending it and having stuff… also so satisfying.”
• “I’m a fool and embarrass my family when I drink but how else can I have a good time or relax?”
• “Illegal drugs? Awful but how do I survive without them?”
• “I don’t like that I can’t get off this medicine but how else do I manage my pain?”
• “My spouse won’t give me the attention I need so what’s wrong with some harmless attention from…? I make sure it stays innocent.”
• “I can’t stand the way I can get when I’m angry but it’s so hard to keep cool in the heat of the moment.”
• “I have to cheat in my line of work or I won’t survive.”
• “It’s called tough love when I scream at and belittle my kids.”
• “My spouse can handle it when I yell.”
• “They don’t miss me that much when I don’t come home… gotta keep food on the table.”
• “I don’t watch that much TV, do I?”
• “Once I get going playing video games or chatting online, I can’t stop. I hate it that my kids can’t get off their computer or their phone!”
• “How do I stop? What do I do? I love the Lord! I want to do the right thing!”

Yes we need to begin in Romans Chapter 7, beginning in verse 14, reading through the end of the chapter. Then we will look at what God will do to rewire this brain of ours back to the way He wired it to begin with before we went and scrambled the thing into something brutally selfish.

¹⁴ The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. ¹⁵ I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. ¹⁶ But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

 ¹⁸ And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. ¹⁹ I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. ²⁰ But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

 ²¹ I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. ²² I love God’s law with all my heart. ²³ But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. ²⁴ Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? ²⁵ Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.(NLT)

The first two steps of the Twelve Step model state the following:
1. We admitted we were powerless over addiction* – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

* “addiction” is substituted for the word “alcohol”

Step Three of the Twelve Steps says, “Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” Many will say that this is the Commitment or Surrender Step. I have said that and will continue to say it. It is probably more accurate to state, though, that Step Three is the decision to surrender. It is steps four through twelve that one acts out surrender and commitment in recovery. 

It is often said that this third step is the most difficult of the twelve, which is understandable… you know… because it’s about commitment and surrender and all that. Let me suggest that when one is truly working in the truth of the first three steps that step 3 is the simplest step of the twelve. Step three is the only thing left to possibly do and is an instinctual response to the first two steps. Below, I copied some text from the “Recovery that Works!” home page.

Why is it that I deceive myself into believing that I can save myself from these raging flames out of control bringing down the house that is my life? Why is it that when the fireman appears fully equipped to rescue me that I cling to all that I believe I can save… which, by the way, is all on fire… when I can’t even save myself? The fireman says, “Follow me!” and I say, “I appreciate that you can help me but I am better off on my own. I won’t burn, I’ve got this. I am all that I need.” On the other hand, if I recognized and then admitted that I am utterly powerless in the flames of such adversity, when the fireman came to my rescue I would most certainly believe my odds improve greatly doing whatever it is he says to do. Believing enough, or call it hope should I doubt, I would commit to going with him since it has to be better than what I’ve got going on. So why the reluctance? Why resist?

The evil in your addiction wants to sabotage your peace and steal your joy by deceiving you into believing its lies about you. The lie is that you need to come clean before God, even though His Word says that because of what Jesus did as the sacrifice for your sin, you can approach God with bold confidence as you are in the shape you are in. The shame of your past is on fire. Who you are in your addiction is on fire. Your past failures are on fire. Your weaknesses are on fire. Your selfish pride is on fire. The jealousy and resentment you can’t seem to shake is on fire. What you covet is on fire. Your hypocrisy in trying so hard to do right and good in your own strength is on fire.

The lie is that while the fireman fully equipped has arrived to deliver you from being engulfed in the flames, you’ve been duped into believing that while it is not possible for you to fight fires, that somehow you can. Honestly, if you were trapped in a burning building and the fireman stormed in to rescue you, would you for one second attempt to send him away so that you could put out the flames with your bucket of water? Or, would you admit sensibly that you are powerless to save yourself; believing that the fireman is your only real chance to survive, would you by necessity commit to following the fireman, doing whatever he says to save your life?

This decision to surrender is predicated on the belief in a power greater than ourselves who can rescue us to safety; then restore us into sanity. As we come to understand who we are in relation to who God is, the decision is remarkably sensible to turn our unmanageable lives—our mess—over to the ONLY ONE with the authority to renew and restore us through His plan of surrendered recovery. It is so sensible that to decide anything else only adds to the insanity of our addiction to selfish obsessions.

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. James 1:14-15 (NLT)

“Gives birth to death“… how insane is that? When we come to understand how our brains work—selfish to the core—with automatic thoughts based on chemical reactions in the brain, fueling beliefs so irrational that they generate feelings that drive behavior willing to risk so much for instant gratification (reward), we do so at great risk and cost. The result is loss: lost peace, lost hope, lost trust, lost love… lost life. I am often asked, “Why do I settle for that?” It is our nature. When we seek to know ourselves through an honest inventory of ourselves, hoping to identify the exact nature of what is wrong with us, the more our self examination breaks down to our deeply rooted selfishness. We can try this and try that to fix ourselves, but it’s like pulling weeds that break off but the roots are too deep and they always grow back, bigger and badder than ever.

We have taken the brain that God created in us to be good, and allowed evil to come in and spread like a cancer until we are rotten to the core in our selfish thoughts, beliefs, and behavior. How does that change? It changes when we come to believe that we are powerless to our selfish motivations and intentions, come to believe in what can and will do to wash our brains, transforming them into something new, and the commit daily to letting Him brainwash us since He has afforded us the opportunity to enter into relationship with Him as an act of our will.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world (‘aeon’ or ‘age’) but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

– To read more about the translation of this passage, click “New Age Living (and oh by the way, your feet smell)”

While God’s love for us is unconditional, the quality of relationship we have with God is conditional. This is evident throughout Scripture. Relationships always have a when-then quality to them. When one thing happens in relationship, then another thing happens in response. To experience the life of transformative recovery empowered in relationship with God, we need to be about the when in the relationship. God will then change us into something new.

Pastor Fran Leeman unveiled from Scripture some truth I had not seen before. He said that the Greek word for ‘world’ in Romans 12:1 is ‘aeon’ (pronounced ee-on). The word means age. Apostle Paul is writing that we are not of this age who have come to believe into relationship with God through Christ Jesus. We are no longer tied into the fate of this age once transformed into new life, so why reach back thinking as though we are still what we were. God desires to change our thinking by the renewing of our minds so that we come to believe and live in the new age of the coming of the Kingdom of God, which has come by way of resurrected Christ.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

There is what we do in this transformative relationship, and there is what God does. What we do is offer our bodies to God sacrificially with our actions–our behavior. It is what we do with our eyes and our ears. It is what we do with what goes in and what comes out of our mouths. It is what we reach for with our arms and hold on to with our hands. It is where we go with our legs and where we stay with our feet (Romans 12:1). It is with our bodies that we give in to selfish urges and fall into addictive patterns, and it is with our bodies that we quit giving in to them.

There is what we do from the outside in when we offer ourselves sacrificially to God by the way we behave with our bodies. Then there is what God does in us from the inside out to completely transform us by the full renewing of our minds—literally rearranging our brain chemistry so as to empower us to live better and to think and feel healthier. God exchanges our desires and intentions with His desires and intentions. We then can resist self-centered addictive urges through the power of prayer and actually live in freedom, proving that God’s plan for us is perfect and beautiful. (Romans 12:1-2)

“Be transformed by the renewing of your minds” (Romans 12:2). The word “be” is a passive verb, meaning that it is not something we do but rather something that is done to us when we act sacrificially with our bodies committed to God’s way of behavior. Then what God does is completely transform our character and our thinking by rearranging the way our brain works, restoring it to what He created in the first place. The promise is of this transformation is that when we live according to our new God-given desires and objectives, both our behavior and what we think about and feel is healthy again. We are better having become well. We then prove in this new life that God’s plan for us is perfect and beautiful. This is how we can know and experience God’s will for us.

When we offer our bodies, meaning our physical strength to God as a living sacrifice, no longer committing our bodies to addictive patterns of behavior;

Then God completely transforms (metamorphoo) our hearts and our souls by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2). Then we can love God with our whole being, and our neighbor as ourselves.

When we commit to change externally from the outside in, changing what we do (Romans 12:1-2a),

Then God changes us internally from the inside out, changing who we are and what we think (Romans 12:2).

When we delight in the Lord in our action,

Then God gives us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4) by changing what we want according to his will and purpose.

When we rejoice, celebrating our recovery in relationship with Christ, offering praise and presenting prayer requests with our mouths, as well as showing considerate acts of service with our physical ability;

Then God replaces our anxiety with peace to our souls, guarding (covering) our hearts and our minds by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, empowering us to do anything (Philippians 4:4-7, 13).

When we commit to doing the will of God,

Then God changes our intentions and motives, according to His will (Philippians 2:13).

When we take responsibility for our behavior, repenting of our guilt (godly sorrow),

Then God mercifully removes our shame (worldly sorrow) and pain (2 Corinthians 7:10).

When we seek to know and see Jesus through prayer and a lifestyle committed to his will,

Then Jesus Christ will turn our sorrow into joy (John 16:20-22).

When we are committed to action according to the will of God, as his will takes over in us converting our intentions into doing what he intends we do,

Then we can ask him for anything and he promises to grant our requests (John 15:7).

When we commit to behaving according to the will of God, imitating the model of recovery set for us by the life of His Son Jesus,

Then we have joy overflowing as true friends of God (John 15:9-16).

“That is why the Christian is in a different position from other people who are trying to be good. They hope, by being good, to please God if there is one; or, they hope to deserve approval from good men. But the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines in it.” —C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

These promises from the Bible reveal a when-then relationship. When we are committed to turning away from the things of our addictive flesh—outside-in change, then God is faithful to transforming us from the inside out. The original Greek translation for the word ‘transform’ is metamorphoo, meaning to metamorph from one thing into another; like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly. As God transforms our character into a new person by changing how we think, it is like starting a new life. We not only do what is healthy, mature, responsible, and godly, we want to willfully do that which pleases God. Whenever we do what pleases God it is always to our benefit, never to our detriment. That doesn’t mean we never have problems again. It means that we have his powerful support to manage and resolve problems and conflicts. When we commit our will to do the will of God, doing recovery God’s way, we do much better.

It is entirely possible with God’s help that when we pray with our mouths, and read the Bible, God’s written word, with our eyes, that our minds will be changed. We read in Romans 12:2 that the perfect will of God for you and for me is realized as we come to trust him completely and commit to our recovery his way. This is God’s way of challenging us to prove that his will for us is ideal. What an opportunity we have to experience all that God has and wants for us. Our lives make sense again as we commit to the sensible will of God and experience what God has for us in every facet of our livelihood.

Working the 12 Steps

Jesus said, “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:33-34 

This study of the twelve steps will make clear the Biblical foundation supporting each step, the progressive purpose of the steps from one step to the next, as well as the inclusive purpose of the steps, meaning that you cannot progress from one step to the next without continually working each of the steps previous to the step you are working on. As you journey through this study of the twelve steps, always be aware that you are powerless to work the steps on your own. You need to prayerfully consider who and what you are in relation to who and what God is. Then you can more adequately process this content with a spirit of humility. 

What “Step by Step…” is not is a study on the origin of the twelve steps as they were developed and implemented into the fabric of Alcoholics Anonymous by the likes of Bill Wilson, Dr. Bob Smith, and the Oxford Group. What else it is not is a secularized twist on the spiritual approach that these pioneers for recovery intended at the time they very thoughtfully, and might I suggest prayerfully, developed them.

Many say that we must be careful not to be too “religious” while considering these steps. But when you read Bill W and Dr. Bob’s How It Works you will find their devotion to absolute surrender to the endeavor of recovery God’s way in relationship with Him, as opposed to something merely religious.

Religion is defined as “a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe… usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs… the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices” according to Dictionary.com. Outside of relationship with God, the twelve steps are nothing but religion without real power. The more one secularizes these steps the more he or she is being religious by definition, rather than authentically spiritual.

This is a study of the spirit at the core of each step. Before taking a closer look at each of the twelve steps and how they all work together, it is necessary to review the steps. Below are the twelve steps with key Scripture references for each step. Please read through the steps and the Scriptures relevant to each step, then continue reading to experience the blessing of the explanation of how the experience of working the steps will deliver the promise of blessing and victory into your life. I am excited for you to catch this glimpse of the possibility and hope for your life today and down the road.

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over addiction—that our lives had become unmanageable.

For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18 (NIV) 

“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” They answered Him, “We are Abraham’s descendants, and have never been in bondage to anyone. How can You say, ‘You will be made free’?” Jesus answered them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. John 8:32-34 (NKJV) 

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. James 1:14-15 (NKJV) 

They (people, places and things in the world) promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves of sin and corruption. For you are a slave to whatever controls you. 2 Peter 2:19 (NLT)

Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

To whom can you compare God? What image can you find to resemble him? Can he be compared to an idol formed in a mold… Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name. Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing. O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights? Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40: 18-19, 26-31 (NLT)

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness… so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Philippians 2:13 (NLT) 

The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. Romans 8:11 (NLT)

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3.20 (NLT)

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him (came to believe).

Then He (Jesus) said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23 (NLT)

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy (came to believe), to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD. Lamentations 3:40 (NIV) 

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. Proverbs 14:12 (NKJV)

Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. Ephesians 5:11 (NLT)

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 (NLT) 

Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 

Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. Psalm 51:4 (NLT)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (NIV) 

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16 (NLT) 

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. Psalm 51:1-2 (NLT)

For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. Romans 10:10 (NLT) 

Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

If you consent and obey, you will eat the best of the land. Isaiah 1:19 (NASB) 

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable. So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:13-16 (NLT)

No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. 1 John 3:9 (NLT) 

Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10 (NLT) 

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me—now let me rejoice. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Psalm 51:7-10 (NLT) 

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Psalm 32:5 (NLT)

Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 

Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others  as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:30-31 (NIV)    

“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. Luke 6:27-28 (NLT) 

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25 (NIV)

Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 

“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” Matthew 5:23-24 (NLT) 

Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright. Proverbs 14:9 (NIV) 

If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness. Anyone who loves another brother or sister is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble. But anyone who hates another brother or sister is still living and walking in darkness. Such a person does not know the way to go, having been blinded by the darkness. 1 John 2:9-11 (NLT)

Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 1 Peter 3-13-16 (NIV)

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12 (NIV)

Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 1 Corinthians 10:12 (NIV) 

“I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.” Romans 12:3 (NLT) 

If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:13-18 (NLT)

Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out. 

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. Colossians 3:16 (NLT)

My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. Proverbs 4:20-22 (NLT) 

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NLT) 

We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (NLT)

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

If a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Galatians 6:1 (NKJV) 

The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:7-8 (NLT)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NLT)

Progressive and Inclusive

Is there any doubt that the intentions of the forefathers of these twelve steps were to access the power of the living God in relationship with His Son Jesus Christ? They deliberately utilized the Word of God as their inspiration for recovery from addiction. It is important to understand the progression of each of the steps as a sensible path to sustained transformative recovery. Bill Elam, Founder of Eleeo Ministries, insists to the participants at his Twelve-Step meetings, that while the steps are progressive they must be inclusive. This means that while you progress, let’s say, from the third to the fourth step, you are working steps one through four in your daily recovery walk. So here we go.

step one 

The first step targets the fact that I am powerless to fix myself. My selfish brain wants what it wants when it wants it and if given the opportunity will go to any lengths to get it. Not only is the brain selfish since the GO (excitatory) systems of the brain will override the STOP (inhibitory) systems of the brain whenever sound recovery principles are not effectively implemented in my life, but Scripture points out that my scientific selfish brain is especially disadvantaged by my sin nature—spiritually flawed.

step two

It is not enough to admit that I am powerless and out of control. That just means that I will die in my own futility without an intervention from something or someone more powerful than I am, with sovereign authority over everything that holds me hostage to my addiction. This second step is easily the step that everything in recovery hinges on. It is the most challenging step. Once I have a belief in God, known to me even though I do not see Him with my own eyes, faith catapults me into spiritually empowered recovery that is as real as the words on this page.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)

step three

Once I believe, having experienced the powerful touch of God in some way, it only makes sense that in my third step that I would turn away from my addiction to selfishness by turning over my will and my life into His care to restore me to stability and into peace and joy. This requires a commitment to surrender everything into God’s care according to my belief that He is trustworthy and able to change everything into what He wants my life to be, which is His best for me. The question is: turn away from what specifically, and what specifically am I turning over to the will and plan of God in my third step?

step four

The specifics of what I am hoping to surrender to God is to be examined in my fourth step. If I am being honest and authentic in my first three steps, having admitted that I am not in control, and having believed in God through a relationship with Jesus Christ as my Savior from my mess, and then having made the most critical decision to let go of all that I treasure along with all that I fear and hope to preserve in my selfishness, then I am in a healthy place to search deeply into my soul with fearless honesty in my personal moral inventory. It is in this endeavor, empowered by Christ, that I will identify that which is to be turned over to Him in my life’s journey.

As I get to know God, not only does He unveil the mysteries in the spiritual realm which empower me, He reveals to me what is inside of me, even that which is buried deep if I will allow Him to take me there. It is in the fourth step that I come to know myself, accept myself for who I am in relationship with God, and come to love myself. In loving myself as the man I am as seen by God, from His point of view, I am prepared to learn and admit the exact nature of my wrongs, which I believe Scripture regards as my selfishness, rooted in a core belief of entitlement.

It was a selfish core belief of entitlement that allowed Adam and Eve to be deceived and persuaded to give into temptation to desire and pursue the one thing they could not have when they possessed everything except for the thing God said was not for them. They were led to believe that they were entitled to everything that was God’s (so they could be as God was) and consumed the one thing that they thought they were missing from having it all, even though they had everything else, more than they would ever need. Having eaten of the tree of knowledge—discovering their selfishness, they became selfish and addicted to self. Then, just like I need Jesus, they needed Jesus.

step five

Having identified the exact nature of my wrongs, my recovery journey takes me, not only to admitting (confessing) it to God like King David did, but confessing the exact nature of my wrongs with another person that I can trust will support me with the same fearless honesty that I needed for my fourth step; someone who cares deeply enough for me that He will help me to be accountable; someone who will not judge me, but will indeed judge me with a sincere heart as empowered by the Spirit of God in his recovery. This fifth step is critical to my recovery as it is the acceptance of the community of recovering people into my life. It is in the community—family, if you will—of recovering people that I can experience accountability and discipline that is healthy and loving.

step six

I am then in a humble place, able to embrace the qualities, the abilities, and the talents that God has blessed me with in my life—the God-given good that is within me. It is in my sixth step that I am willing for God to take from me my character defects that were revealed to me in my fourth step, unveiling what is at the core of my selfish addiction. It is again a letting go moment as there may be things that at my selfish core I would like to hold on to. Working these sixth and seventh steps is still inclusive of the previous step, especially steps one through three. Being ready and willing to ask God to remove my character defects means I might miss out on some of the things that in my selfishness I really enjoyed and perhaps believed I needed.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4 

step seven

The seventh step is the moment when I ask God to remove those shortcomings that were products of the exact nature of my wrongs that I had decided to surrender to Him in my third step. It doesn’t matter that I am ready and willing to turn my will and life over to God until I ask Him to take it from me and transform me into something new. Even as He is changing me daily, it is only as I humbly ask Him to change me that He graciously responds to my willingness to be changed; to remove my defects of character with all of its shortcomings.

step eight

My defects of character include issues I have with others that I have harmed along the way; those that were sucked into the path of my destructive behavior. In working my fourth step it only makes sense that in my inventory were weapons against others, whether friend or foe, loved one or enemy. My eighth step shines a light on all those I had harmed, and if I am truly in recovery than I am compelled to make amends—make things right—with them. This can be a very sensitive matter so it must be done with the attitude of humility of the seventh step and surrender of the third step. In Step Eight I am willing to turn over my guilt and shame concerning those I have harmed into God’s care, trusting that He will guide and empower me in the amends process and that He will be the one to restore them into something better.

The Twelve-Step journey is a willing path. It is only possible to the extent that I am willing. Whatever I hold back holds back the blessing of recovery. Not because God withholds the blessing, but because it is about a two-way street of acceptance. To live in truth is to accept truth in all that it entails. To be entirely ready to make amends to all that I have harmed is to accept the truth of what I have done, as well as accepting the truth that I have been forgiven by God for all of it. It is in this truth that I have been set free, even when I struggle to forgive myself and do not feel forgiven or free. Therefore, I am free to attempt to reconcile where it is healthy to do so, and simply be willing to seek reconciliation even though it may not occur in those human relationships. The key is that I am willing in humility to do as led by the Spirit of God in my recovery. The bottom line is that while I am willing to amends to all I have harmed who may or may not be merciful to me, the only mercy that matters is God’s mercy.

Let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:18-20 (NLT)

step nine

It is in this place of willingness in recovery, living in truth, that I seek guidance from God. It is here that I trust God to lead me to the help of someone I know well and trust deeply to help me in my recovery (i.e., sponsor, discipler, mentor). It is here in a spirit of humility and willingness that I do the work of my ninth step and enter into the danger zone of seeking out those relationships that need to be made right again through the making of amends; where doing so would be healthy for them who may need something more from me than what they were left with. In many of these relationships reconciliation will be sweet and fulfilling. With others, it may be difficult and intense for awhile. I must be mindful that the amends process is for the benefit of those I have wronged, though I will be blessed and enriched along the way. I must be working steps One through Nine or I am in danger of jeopardizing my recovery and risking relapse; with perhaps great consequence.

steps ten through twelve

Steps Ten through Twelve assure me that, while I am making progress in recovery, I have not arrived. I am not recovered. As a citizen of heaven in relationship with Christ I am to press on and not fall prey to the appetites of the world and my own selfish desires, cravings, obsessions, and urges. Desires and cravings speak to what I want while obsessions and urges speak to what I seek. I am still human, vulnerable to my self-centered ambitions and motivations. Therefore, I must press on empowered by my Savior everyday that I live.  

¹² I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. ¹³ No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ¹⁵ Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. ¹⁶ But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.

 ¹⁷ Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example. ¹⁸ For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ. ¹⁹ They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth. ²⁰ But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. ²¹ He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control. Philippians 3:12-21 (NLT)

tenth step through twelfth step keep me on this path to sustained life-long recovery that continues to free me from guilt and shame as I continue to pursue the will of God for my life. Through active prayer and meditation on the Word of God I am aware of the truth of who and what I am as the Spirit of God continues to reveal to me His truth. As soon as I go my own way, giving in to anger urges and resentful and jealous obsessions, my selfish pride strives to overwhelm the humble spirit of recovery that is paramount to progress. As I work through the Twelve Steps, God is faithful to empower me to be honest with myself about my prideful ways and by His Spirit I have the courage, and even the will, to admit that I am wrong.

I am indeed consciously in touch with God who is accessible to me in relationship with Jesus. In the conscious reality of this relationship, having received the blessing of His promise to empower me to live in freedom, I do not want to keep this to myself. I am compelled by love to share this incredible reality of freedom in relationship with God to everyone I know. This is the other end of the miracle of recovery. The first seven steps are about me and getting right in my relationship with God in the awareness of my insanity; my disease. Steps Eight and Nine are about my relationship with God and how it affects you as I seek to get back into right relationship with you. Steps Ten and Eleven keep me grounded and focused in my recovery; and then Step Twelve is about telling everyone in need of recovery about how it all works as I seek to be in right relationship with the world as testimony of God’s mercy and grace in my life. 

For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced… If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 4:13-17 (NLT)

working the steps one day at a time

If you made it this far in this long reading, I thank you and now encourage you to immerse yourself into the reality of relationship with God into the miracle of recovery from your addiction to you. Start at Step One and prayerfully over time work your way through these steps. If you are reading this and you struggle with Step Two then simply ask out loud for God to show up and show Himself to you. If you believe in God but are not quite sure where else to go with that then ask out loud for God to reveal more and more of the truth of who He is and where He wants to go with you in real relationship with you.

It is the sensible thing to do to pursue something better than what you are, what you have, and the way things are. God can and will take you farther along in your journey than you have ever gone before; to places you cannot experience without Him, even if it doesn’t feel altogether comfortable for awhile. If you struggle to trust God than you need to ask Him for faith to believe—to really believe. Then at some point, make the decision to trust Him. Then hope for and anticipate the results of believing in the One with boundless resources and in complete authority over all things.

I wonder how it’ll turn out.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV)