Step by Step… One Day at a Time (A 12-Step Study)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

Jesus said, “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:33-34 

This study of the twelve steps will make clear the Biblical foundation supporting each step, the progressive purpose of the steps from one step to the next, as well as the inclusive purpose of the steps, meaning that you cannot progress from one step to the next without continually working each of the steps previous to the step you are working on. As you journey through this study of the twelve steps, always be aware that you are powerless to work the steps on your own. You need to prayerfully consider who and what you are in relation to who and what God is. Then you can more adequately process this content with a spirit of humility. 

What “Step by Step…” is not is a study on the origin of the steps as they were developed by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith. What else it is not is a secularized twist on the spiritual approach that Bill W and Dr. Bob intended at the time they very thoughtfully, and might I say prayerfully, developed the twelve steps.

Many say that we must be careful not to be too “religious” while considering these steps. But when you read Bill W and Dr. Bob’s How It Works you will find their devotion to absolute surrender to the endeavor of recovery God’s way in relationship with Him, as opposed to something merely religious.

Religion is defined as “a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe… usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs… the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices” according to Dictionary.com. Outside of relationship with God, the twelve steps are nothing but religion without real power. The more one secularizes these steps the more he or she is being religious by definition, rather than authentically spiritual.

This is a study of the spirit at the core of each step. Before taking a closer look at each of the twelve steps and how they all work together, it is necessary to review the steps. Below are the twelve steps with key Scripture references for each step. Please read through the steps and the Scriptures relevant to each step, then continue reading to experience the blessing of the explanation of how the experience of working the steps will deliver the promise of blessing and victory into your life. I am excited for you to catch this glimpse of the possibility and hope for your life today and down the road.   

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over addiction—that our lives had become unmanageable.

For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18 (NIV) 

“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” They answered Him, “We are Abraham’s descendants, and have never been in bondage to anyone. How can You say, ‘You will be made free’?” Jesus answered them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. John 8:32-34 (NKJV) 

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. James 1:14-15 (NKJV) 

They (people, places and things in the world) promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves of sin and corruption. For you are a slave to whatever controls you. 2 Peter 2:19 (NLT)

Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

To whom can you compare God? What image can you find to resemble him? Can he be compared to an idol formed in a mold… Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name. Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing. O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores you? Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and sufficient strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40: 18-19, 26-31 (NLT)

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness… so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Philippians 2:13 (NLT) 

The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. Romans 8:11 (NLT)

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3.20 (NLT)

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him (came to believe).

Then He (Jesus) said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23 (NLT)

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy (came to believe), to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD. Lamentations 3:40 (NIV) 

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. Proverbs 14:12 (NKJV)

Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. Ephesians 5:11 (NLT)

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 (NLT) 

Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 

Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. Psalm 51:4 (NLT)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (NIV) 

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16 (NLT) 

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. Psalm 51:1-2 (NLT)

For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. Romans 10:10 (NLT) 

Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

If you consent and obey, you will eat the best of the land. Isaiah 1:19 (NASB) 

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable. So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:13-16 (NLT)

No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. 1 John 3:9 (NLT)  

Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10 (NLT) 

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me—now let me rejoice. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Psalm 51:7-10 (NLT) 

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Psalm 32:5 (NLT)

Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 

Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others  as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:30-31 (NIV)    

“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. Luke 6:27-28 (NLT) 

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25 (NIV)

Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 

“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” Matthew 5:23-24 (NLT) 

Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright. Proverbs 14:9 (NIV) 

If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is still living in darkness. Anyone who loves another brother or sister is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble. But anyone who hates another brother or sister is still living and walking in darkness. Such a person does not know the way to go, having been blinded by the darkness. 1 John 2:9-11 (NLT)

Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 1 Peter 3-13-16 (NIV)

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12 (NIV)

Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 1 Corinthians 10:12 (NIV) 

“I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.” Romans 12:3 (NLT) 

If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:13-18 (NLT)

Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out. 

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. Colossians 3:16 (NLT)

My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to my words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body. Proverbs 4:20-22 (NLT) 

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NLT) 

We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (NLT)

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

If a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Galatians 6:1 (NKJV) 

The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:7-8 (NLT)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NLT)

Progressive and Inclusive

Is there any doubt that the intentions of the forefathers of these twelve steps were to access the power of the living God in relationship with His Son Jesus Christ? They deliberately utilized the Word of God as their inspiration for recovery from addiction. It is important to understand the progression of each of the steps as a sensible path to sustained transformative recovery. Bill Elam, Founder of Eleeo Ministries, insists to the participants at his Twelve-Step meetings, that while the steps are progressive they must be inclusive. This means that while you progress, let’s say, from the third to the fourth step, you are working steps one through four in your daily recovery walk. So here we go.

step one 

The first step targets the fact that I am powerless to fix myself. My selfish brain wants what it wants when it wants it and if given the opportunity will go to any lengths to get it. Not only is the brain selfish since the GO (excitatory) systems of the brain will override the STOP (inhibitory) systems of the brain whenever sound recovery principles are not effectively implemented in my life, but Scripture points out that my scientific selfish brain is especially disadvantaged by my sin nature—spiritually flawed.

step two

It is not enough to admit that I am powerless and out of control. That just means that I will die in my own futility without an intervention from something or someone more powerful than I am, with sovereign authority over everything that holds me hostage to my addiction. This second step is easily the step that everything in recovery hinges on. It is the most challenging step. Once I have a belief in God, known to me even though I do not see Him with my own eyes, faith catapults me into spiritually empowered recovery that is as real as the words on this page.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)

step three

Once I believe, having experienced the powerful touch of God in some way, it only makes sense that in my third step that I would turn away from my addiction to selfishness by turning over my will and my life into His care to restore me to stability and into peace and joy. This requires a commitment to surrender everything into God’s care according to my belief that He is trustworthy and able to change everything into what He wants my life to be, which is His best for me. The question is: turn away from what specifically, and what specifically am I turning over to the will and plan of God in my third step?

step four

The specifics of what I am hoping to surrender to God is to be examined in my fourth step. If I am being honest and authentic in my first three steps, having admitted that I am not in control, and having believed in God through a relationship with Jesus Christ as my Savior from my mess, and then having made the most critical decision to let go of all that I treasure along with all that I fear and hope to preserve in my selfishness, then I am in a healthy place to search deeply into my soul with fearless honesty in my personal moral inventory. It is in this endeavor, empowered by Christ, that I will identify that which is to be turned over to Him in my life’s journey.

As I get to know God, not only does He unveil the mysteries in the spiritual realm which empower me, He reveals to me what is inside of me, even that which is buried deep if I will allow Him to take me there. It is in the fourth step that I come to know myself, accept myself for who I am in relationship with God, and come to love myself. In loving myself as the man I am as seen by God, from His point of view, I am prepared to learn and admit the exact nature of my wrongs, which I believe Scripture regards as my selfishness, rooted in a core belief of entitlement.

It was a selfish core belief of entitlement that allowed Adam and Eve to be deceived and persuaded to give into temptation to desire and pursue the one thing they could not have when they possessed everything except for the thing God said was not for them. They were led to believe that they were entitled to everything that was God’s (so they could be as God was) and consumed the one thing that they thought they were missing from having it all, even though they had everything else, more than they would ever need. Having ate of the tree of knowledge of their selfishness, they became selfish and addicted to self. Then, just like I need Jesus, they needed Jesus.

step five

Having identified the exact nature of my wrongs, my recovery journey takes me, not only to admitting (confessing) it to God like King David did, but confessing the exact nature of my wrongs with another person that I can trust will support me with the same fearless honesty that I needed for my fourth step; someone who cares deeply enough for me that He will help me to be accountable; someone who will not judge me, but will indeed judge me with a sincere heart as empowered by the Spirit of God in his recovery. This fifth step is critical to my recovery as it is the acceptance of the community of recovering people into my life. It is in the community—family, if you will—of recovering people that I can experience accountability and discipline that is healthy and loving.

step six

I am then in a humble place, able to embrace the qualities, the abilities, and the talents that God has blessed me with in my life—the God-given good that is within me. It is in my sixth step that I am willing for God to take from me my character defects that were revealed to me in my fourth step, unveiling what is at the core of my selfish addiction. It is again a letting go moment as there may be things that at my selfish core I would like to hold on to. Working these sixth and seventh steps is still inclusive of the previous step, especially steps one through three. Being ready and willing to ask God to remove my character defects means I might miss out on some of the things that in my selfishness I really enjoyed and perhaps believed I needed.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4 

step seven

The seventh step is the moment when I ask God to remove those shortcomings that were products of the exact nature of my wrongs that I had decided to surrender to Him in my third step. It doesn’t matter that I am ready and willing to turn my will and life over to God until I ask Him to take it from me and transform me into something new. Even as He is changing me daily, it is only as I humbly ask Him to change me that He graciously responds to my willingness to be changed; to remove my defects of character with all of its shortcomings.

step eight

My defects of character include issues I have with others that I have harmed along the way; those that were sucked into the path of my destructive behavior. In working my fourth step it only makes sense that in my inventory were weapons against others, whether friend or foe, loved one or enemy. My eighth step shines a light on all those I had harmed, and if I am truly in recovery than I am compelled to make amends—make things right—with them. This can be a very sensitive matter so it must be done with the attitude of humility of the seventh step and surrender of the third step. In Step Eight I am willing to turn over my guilt and shame concerning those I have harmed into God’s care, trusting that He will guide and empower me in the amends process and that He will be the one to restore them into something better.

The Twelve-Step journey is a willing path. It is only possible to the extent that I am willing. Whatever I hold back holds back the blessing of recovery. Not because God withholds the blessing, but because it is about a two-way street of acceptance. To live in truth is to accept truth in all that it entails. To be entirely ready to make amends to all that I have harmed is to accept the truth of what I have done, as well as accepting the truth that I have been forgiven by God for all of it. It is in this truth that I have been set free, even when I struggle to forgive myself and do not feel forgiven or free. Therefore, I am free to attempt to reconcile where it is healthy to do so, and simply be willing to seek reconciliation even though it may not occur in those human relationships. The key is that I am willing in humility to do as led by the Spirit of God in my recovery. The bottom line is that while I am willing to amends to all I have harmed who may or may not be merciful to me, the only mercy that matters is God’s mercy.

Let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:18-20 (NLT)

step nine

It is in this place of willingness in recovery, living in truth, that I seek guidance from God. It is here that I trust God to lead me to the help of someone I know well and trust deeply to help me in my recovery (i.e., sponsor, discipler, mentor). It is here in a spirit of humility and willingness that I do the work of my ninth step and enter into the danger zone of seeking out those relationships that need to be made right again through the making of amends; where doing so would be healthy for them who may need something more from me than what they were left with. In many of these relationships reconciliation will be sweet and fulfilling. With others, it may be difficult and intense for awhile. I must be mindful that the amends process is for the benefit of those I have wronged, though I will be blessed and enriched along the way. I must be working steps One through Nine or I am in danger of jeopardizing my recovery and risking relapse; with perhaps great consequence.

steps ten through twelve

Steps Ten through Twelve assure me that, while I am making progress in recovery, I have not arrived. I am not recovered. As a citizen of heaven in relationship with Christ I am to press on and not fall prey to the appetites of the world and my own selfish desires, cravings, obsessions, and urges. Desires and cravings speak to what I want while obsessions and urges speak to what I seek. I am still human vulnerable to my self-centered ambitions and motivations. Therefore, I must press on empowered by my Savior everyday that I live.  

¹² I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. ¹³ No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. ¹⁵ Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. ¹⁶ But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.

 ¹⁷ Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example. ¹⁸ For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ. ¹⁹ They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth. ²⁰ But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. ²¹ He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control. Philippians 3:12-21 (NLT)

The tenth step through twelfth steps keep me on this path to sustained life-long recovery that continues to free me from guilt and shame as I continue to pursue the will of God for my life. Through active prayer and meditation on the Word of God I am aware of the truth of who and what I am as the Spirit of God continues to reveal to me His truth. As soon as I go my own way, giving in to anger urges and resentful and jealous obsessions, my selfish pride strives to overwhelm the humble spirit of recovery that is paramount to progress. As I work through the Twelve Steps inclusive of all twelve steps, God is faithful to empower me to be honest with myself about my prideful ways and by His Spirit I have the courage and even the will to admit that I am wrong.

I am indeed consciously in touch with God who is accessible to me in relationship with Jesus. In the conscious reality of this relationship, having received the blessing of His promise to empower me to live in freedom, I do not want to keep this to myself. I am compelled by love to share this incredible reality of freedom in relationship with God to everyone I know. This is the other end of the miracle of recovery. The first seven steps are about me and getting right in my relationship with God in the awareness of my insanity; my disease. Steps Eight and Nine are about my relationship with God and how it affects you as I seek to get back into right relationship with you. Steps Ten and Eleven keep me grounded and focused in my recovery; and then Step Twelve is about telling everyone in need of recovery about how it all works as I seek to be in right relationship with the world as testimony of God’s mercy and grace in my life. 

For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced… If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 4:13-17 (NLT)

working the steps one day at a time

If you made it this far in this long reading, I thank you and now encourage you to immerse yourself into the reality of relationship with God into the miracle of recovery from your addiction to you. Start at Step One and prayerfully over time work your way through these steps. If you are reading this and you struggle with Step Two then simply ask out loud for God to show up and show Himself to you. If you believe in God but are not quite sure where else to go with that then ask out loud for God to reveal more and more of the truth of who He is and where He wants to go with you in real relationship with you.

It is the sensible thing to do to pursue something better than what you are, what you have, and the way things are. God can and will take you farther along in your journey than you have ever gone before; to places you cannot experience without Him, even if it doesn’t feel altogether comfortable for awhile. If you struggle to trust God than you need to ask Him for faith to believe—to really believe. Then at some point make the decision to trust Him. Then hope for and anticipate the results of believing in the One with boundless resources and in complete authority over all things.

I wonder how it’ll turn out.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21 (NIV)

Letting Go: The Isaac Principle

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

The problem of addiction to sin and its underlying selfish ambition is that our addictions are the product of idolizing and therefore worshiping self. This is the MEdom condition each of us find ourselves in. MEdom is my addiction to me. The human tragedy of MEdom is that we are so arrogant and sick in our addiction to self that we build an altar to our addiction as part of the worship ritual, routine, habit, or what ever you choose to call it. On the altar built to “satisfy” our god of addiction, are things most precious to us. We will place our families – our children – on the altar of addiction as a burnt offering to this god. At the prison I work at the men have even placed their freedom on the altar of their addiction to be sacrificed along with their families.

You worship your idols with great passion
beneath the oaks and under every green tree.
You sacrifice your children down in the valleys,
among the jagged rocks in the cliffs.
Your gods are the smooth stones in the valleys.
You worship them with liquid offerings and grain offerings.

Let’s see if your idols can save you
when you cry to them for help.
Why, a puff of wind can knock them down!
If you just breathe on them, they fall over!
But whoever trusts in me will inherit the land
and possess my holy mountain.”

God says, “Rebuild the road!
Clear away the rocks and stones
so my people can return from captivity.”
The high and lofty one who lives in eternity,
the Holy One, says this:
“I live in the high and holy place
with those whose spirits are contrite and humble.
I restore the crushed spirit of the humble
and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts. Isaiah 57:5-6, 13-15 (NLT)

We are blessed to be given another chance at freedom since God replaced our sacrifice with that of His very begotten Son to be the sacrifice for sin once and for all. What a gracious and generous gift. So, what’s the catch? The catch is that He leaves it up to us to tear down the altar we have built to honor the god of self, the false god we have erected before Almighty God. It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever to reject the gift of God’s Son Jesus in favor of our selfish sin addiction. And yet we do. Unbelievable, isn’t it. But true. God gives us a way out so that we won’t to sacrifice any more since our sacrifice is insufficient anyway. All we have to do is let go of the distractions. Abraham also was given a substitute for sacrifice but he had to be willing to let go of his promised Isaac to receive the greater promise.

Abraham of the Old Testament had finally received the blessing of the promised son. He had toiled for years, agonizing over the unmet expectation he had that God would make it possible for Abraham’s barren wife Sarah to become pregnant fulfilling God’s promise. At one point, Abraham compromised waiting for God’s promise, and ventured on his own at the request of his wife, Sarah, to lay down with his wife’s Egyptian maidservant Hagar. Abraham came to believe that this was necessary to have the promised son from Almighty God through Hagar to carry on his family’s legacy. Apparently, what God intended was that Abraham commit adultery to fulfill the will of God. At least, that’s how Abraham played it out in his mind to justify hastening the blessing of the promised son. Okay, maybe legally it wasn’t adultery since Sarah declared that Hagar become Abraham’s wife. Let’s see how that worked itself out.

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “The Lord has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.” And Abram agreed with Sarai’s proposal. So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife.

So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt. Then Sarai said to Abram, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!” Abram replied, “Look, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit.” Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away. Genesis 16:1-6 (NLT)

Hagar did indeed have a son who we know to be Ishmael. Abraham’s choice to be with Hagar was about going his own way—his clever idea to carry out the willful purpose and plan of God, independent of God. His choice still carries severe consequences to this day as the root of the violent ongoing conflict in the Middle East. Abraham’s unwillingness to wait on the promise in the plan of God was due to his selfish desires and motivations. He too fell prey to the MEdom urge and craving to for instant gratification. Abraham in his haste may have delayed the plan of God. Abraham’s son Isaac, the promised son of God, would be born from Sarah some fifteen years later.

Abraham was then reminded by God who his son belonged to. According to the story in Genesis 22, Abraham was ordered to bring his son Isaac to the mountainous region of Moriah to prepare an offering to be sacrificed unto God. At one point young Isaac even got curious and asked, “Where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” Abraham told Isaac that God would provide it. Then, once the altar was built, Isaac was bound and laid onto the altar to be sacrificed. Just then, the Angel of the Lord called out to Abraham and presented to him the lamb that was to be sacrificed instead of Isaac. It would be through Isaac’s son Jacob that the nation of Israel would be born.

This was an exercise in letting go and committing to recovery God’s way. God did not change his mind about Isaac. The human sacrifice of Isaac was never God’s intention. Abraham needed to learn that everything is God’s. All that Abraham possessed was given to him by God. God is in authority and control and has the power over everything. We must learn this as well. It is not that God merely claims everything; it is all his, period. God, on the other hand wants so much to freely give to us all that is his. When God then does bless us, we have a tendency to give way to sin and patterns of sinful behavior, therefore, corrupting and perverting the provisional blessings and prosperity of God. Each time this sequence occurs, we’re in trouble. Overwhelmed by the selfish ambitious nature as human beings, our lives get complicated. Abraham’s life became difficult as well as he became impatient in his faith in God to provide and did things his own way. Abraham needed to let go of his desire for a son and let God do rightly what only God can do rightly. When God does a thing it is the best thing.

Abraham did come to a place where he was willing to be completely obedient to the will of God and was willing to the point of sacrificing the son that had been promised to him. He taught Isaac well and even Isaac (who had grown up) was complicit in obediently serving the will of the Lord to the point of humbly laying down his ambitious wants and needs. He (Jesus) carried the wood on his back that would become the would he would be laid out on as the son sacrificed by the father.

To more fully appreciate what went into Abraham’s obedience to the point of sacrificing his promised son to be fully obedient to the call and plan of God, please view this video.

The Fatal Place from Elevation Church

Abraham and Isaac humbly sacrificed everything in obedience to the will of God. Isaac would not have to give up his life. Is it possible that part of the logic in testing Abraham’s unwavering obedience was the disappointment of Abraham and Sarah’s disobedience that led to the birth of Ishmael? It’s what evoked confusion and division regarding the state of Israel. Abraham would prove himself worthy of the blessing as the father of nations. God provided the blood sacrificed to Abraham and Isaac as atonement for sin and an expression of worship.

Atonement for sin requires a blood sacrifice. God would again provide the sacrifice, this time for you and for me when it came time for us to be sacrificed on the alter for our sin. Jesus carried the wood on his back to be laid out upon that wood as the necessary sacrifice so that we would be spared. Even for God to become flesh in the person of Jesus required sacrifice. God would let go of His precious son and Jesus would let go of who He was as God to fully experience His humanity in order to suffer tragically on the cross and in the grave. The sacrifice by Abraham of Isaac was prophetic to what God would do when we needed Him most.

Why is it so difficult to let go of an irrational belief of entitlement that opens the door for God to bless and prosperous as we get to experience His good pleasure? Central to receiving the prosperity of God’s grace is the act of surrender. It may go against certain sensibilities to let go as the condition to get back, but it is the promise and premise of a healthy fruitful life in relationship with Jesus Christ.

What or who is your Isaac, today? Your Isaac might be your spouse and your children. Your Isaac might be your home, your job, your finances, and your health. It might be all that satisfies you in this life. It might be all that you yearn for in the flesh as well as all you need and desire in the spirit. It might be all of your ups and your downs. It might be all that strengthens you and all that weakens you. It might be in your laughter and your tears. Your Isaac can be any of it and all of it. Your Isaac is all that has value and worth to you. Your Isaac comes from God and belongs to God. Are you willing to let it go voluntarily in your service and obedience to God in your recovery, or will you put it on God to put your willingness to let go to the test?

Will you build an altar before the throne of grace where Christ is and offer him all that you care about? It’s all His anyway. Jesus died to free us from all that binds us, but we have taken quite a bit if it back. Offer him your body, heart, soul, and mind. Offer yourself to God as a sacrifice to be used by him to accomplish his purposeful plans for your life today.

Let go, since you have no authority over any of it anyway, and let God take care of it all. He will provide the lamb. He will make a way. Give God your husband, your wife. Give God your kids. Give God your home and your career. Give God your health and the health of your family. Is it better off in your care or his care? As you surrender it all unto him, you can trust him to direct you onto the best path for you, your family, and everything you hold dear.

Mourning Sickness… Resistant to Repentant

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4

“I especially liked the way you tackled the difficult topic of ambivalence and how our addictive behavior runs counter to the intellectual truth of the matter (common sense). There is a sorrow that the soul must go through in letting go of what it thought it loved. We have to come to the place where we truly get it that what God wants for us is GOOD. To some degree, our resistance to His will reveals that we do not really believe it is good—at least not the kind of “good” we want.” —Fran Leeman, Sr. Pastor, LifeSpring Community Church, Chicago (Plainfield), IL

Albert Ellis, in something he calls Rational Emotive Behavioral Theory (REBT), says that all too often we falsely interpret real-life events in our lives and develop irrational beliefs activated by these events. The problem with these irrational beliefs is that when we act on them, we tend to make poor choices that lead to what at times are most dire consequences. It is an irrational belief system that fuels ambivalent feelings that have powerful influence over our choices.

Ambivalence is the result of feeling pulled in opposite directions. We are motivated to do one thing while simultaneously equally motivated to do the opposite of that thing. Ambivalence is the lack of discrepancy between opposing motivations that fosters resistance against our recovery. To counter resistance, one needs to address and challenge ambivalence in an effort to increase discrepancy between conflicting desires and perceived needs. Authentic recovery requires letting go of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors that fuel our addiction to self—MEdom; very hard to do.

What is very real is the sense of loss and discomfort we experience when we’re effective in our letting go. This is due to something referred to as homeostasis. A definition of homeostasis is “the process of maintaining a stable psychological state in the individual under varying psychological pressures or stable social conditions in a group under varying social, environmental, or political factors.” In other words, our psychological well being is constantly in pursuit of balance, what feels right and normal. At some point, as the pattern of irregularity and dysfunction in our lives are repeated enough, they are perceived internally as regular and functional. What is unhealthy is accepted on the inside as healthy. What is commonly known as imbalance eventually is perceived as balance. What might commonly be known as abnormal is believed to be normal.

To combat dysfunction we will seek a remedy. When a marital relationship becomes increasingly dysfunctional, one or both spouses might seek out additional relationships for a number of possibilities to remedy the marital dysfunction. Children in dysfunctional family relationships might act out at school, or get involved in gang activity, or become involved with alcohol and drugs. It may or may not be attention-seeking. What it is, is the effort to remedy discomfort and discontent regarding the dysfunction in their home life. Adults may also turn to alcohol, drugs, compulsive gambling, compulsive eating, compulsive spending, and so on. As the behavior is repeated, it becomes “normal” as the systematic routine for attempting to solve problems.

As thought patterns and habitual behavior become so a part of the fabric for “living” that even when one’s life situation improves, the behavior continues, generating a new set of problems and challenges. The obsessive thinking patterns and compulsive behavior (acting out) have evolved into a kind of ritual that must be performed just to feel a sense of normal and balance. Any deviation from the routine will not be tolerated. As the behavior carries with it risk and cost, and attempting to reduce or extinguish the behavior becomes increasingly disruptive and painful, and deemed detrimental to stop it, it is called addiction; the remedy to solving the problem of dissatisfaction.

The conscious effort to change the behavior is recovery. Recovery is incredibly challenging.

As we choose to submit to recovery God’s way, living according to His plan of blessing for us, it can be especially difficult to resist what we have believed we’ve needed to experience contentment. The draw of our irrational belief system can be painful. The loss of what we have believed for so long was precious and of primary importance, will leave us in mourning, grieving for that which we have lost. This ambivalence can jeopardize the sincerest attempt at honest recovery. We still need relief from the stress, both the original stress before recovery, and now the added stress (growing pains) while in recovery.

An example of ambivalence for me is when the alarm sounds in the morning. I am a night owl and tend not to be a morning person in the sense that I am not interested in getting up when the alarm has awakened me. I would prefer to hit the snooze button and sleep another nine minutes. I need to get up out of bed but that does not immediately appeal to me so I am resistant to getting up. The problem with that is that I have come to understand that I get nothing out of those nine minutes. They feel like mere seconds from the time I hit the snooze to the time the alarm sounds again. When I was young I believed that I could simulate sleeping in by setting my alarm to go off 45 minutes before I absolutely had to get up to have sufficient time to get myself ready for school or work. I would hit that snooze button five times every nine minutes. This cat-and-mouse game of chasing sleep was no longer possible when I got married if I wanted to stay married (which I did). Besides, even though it was kind of cool to simulate sleeping in by setting my alarm extra early, I came to realize I was feeling a bit sluggish having deprived myself of some 45 minutes of legitimate sleep.

The relief I achieved each time was only temporary. It felt good to put my head back down and close my eyes, but then the alarm went off again and with it came that desperate feeling for wanting more sleep. This is an example of the insanity of addictive behavior. I was doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result—that being the avoidance of the discomfort of getting up out of bed. Instead the alarm kept going off.

When my alarm sounds, I have ambivalent feelings. I want to sleep, but I also want to get up because it is necessary to earn a living. If I made it a habit to give in to the occasional euphoria of snoozing those extra nine minutes, it would be at the expense of my livelihood (after getting fired from my job for excessive tardiness). Sleeping in is the opposite motivation to getting up and earning a living so I have to consider both ends of the scale. Do I have more to gain sleeping in or do I have more to gain earning a living? Do I have more to lose with less sleep or do I have more to lose by not getting up to go to work? Is the extra nine minutes of non-productive sleep worth losing a client because I didn’t get to my appointment on time?

Ambivalence might be best described as a kind of internal disagreement. Something is fun. Wow, is it ever fun! Over time it becomes less fun. Disagreement grows from within as to how fun the thing really is. What was fun is getting old and no longer fun. What was fun is actually becoming kind of painful. It’s really painful now. Have to stop because it hurts too much. After stopping it still hurts. Decide not to do that thing anymore since it hurts. Over time the thing becomes less painful. In fact, the thing really doesn’t hurt at all anymore. Remember when the thing was fun? Disagreement grows from within that the thing isn’t painful but it might be fun. Doing the thing again because it’s fun… Until it becomes less fun again and becomes increasing painful… and the cycle of ambivalence continues into addiction. Addiction when full grown is permanent destruction and death.

The trick is to use the ambivalence to disagree with the rationale (reasonableness) of addictive behavior that is attached to adverse consequence until it no longer makes sense to continue in it since it hurts too much with a certain degree of permanence. Choosing to challenge ambivalence is to identify beliefs that prove to be irrational and then rationally challenge those beliefs and justifications through recovery. It’s a choice between life and hell. To choose life is to choose to live in the glory and excellence of God’s best, available to all who commit to recovery from selfish ambition God’s way.

As we consider recovery, to not acknowledge our ambivalent feelings about our recovery is to be in denial with a tendency toward resistance to the work of recovery. Ironically enough, the euphoria and relief achieved using alcohol and drugs might not last much longer than nine minutes. Expressing my rage through vengeance against you can provide so much relief for me, even though the relief may not last much longer than nine minutes. That problematic sexual experience might bring incredible pleasure, though maybe not for much more than nine minutes. But those nine minutes can feel so good. Then, when the nine minutes are up, we have the rest of our lives that are so often destroyed as a consequence of indulging in the addiction for those nine minutes. But we still tend to mourn the loss of our nine minutes of pleasure, satisfaction, and relief. The fact that our mourning over this loss can have such impact on us, even as we’re aware of the adverse consequences of the behavior against us and those that we love, is our sickness in addiction to self—MEdom.

Addiction is the process of continuing a pattern of destructive behavior despite adverse consequences even when the behavior and its destruction are out of control. Addiction is hitting the snooze button again and again even though it really accomplishes nothing and can result in destroying one’s livelihood. How many of us are willing to destroy ourselves and the people we love over a lousy nine minutes? We do it all the time.

I ask my clients to list all of the benefits and consequences of using alcohol and drugs (i.e., pleasure, euphoria, relief, courage, escape, using relationships), and then I have them list all of the benefits and costs of abstaining from using alcohol and drugs (physical and mental health concerns, trust issues, legal and financial concerns, marriage and family issues, spiritual aspects). I have them list every emotion and feeling they have, and every relationship they value that are affected on both sides of the isle of using and abstaining from their drug of choice. Then after they have developed their lists, I ask them to rate each issue, emotion and relationship on a value scale from one to one-hundred. We add together the benefits of using with the consequences of abstaining from alcohol and drug use. Then we add together the benefits of abstaining with the consequences of using alcohol and drugs. This gives us a ‘using’ score and an ‘abstinence’ score. I have yet to have a single client whose abstinence score wasn’t at least double their using score. This exercise might settle the matter of ambivalence on an intellectual level but it assures no one that they will decide in favor of recovery from their addictive problems.

The problem is that discovery and revelation of our destructive addictive nature does not change our addictive sin nature. It has by nature control over us. The benefit of an extra nine minutes of sleep is never in actuality advantageous. The benefit of recovery may outweigh the benefit of our addiction by a million to one, yet so often our addiction wins out and destroys us.

We continue to hold on to the thing that is killing us, even when we know how it is killing us and understand why it is killing us. Somehow, we cannot seem to overcome our addiction. Even when the benefit of freedom clearly outweighs the cost of captivity, we tend to continue to choose to remain captive. Paul described his own ambivalence to his Roman friends when he said, “I do the things I don’t want to do, and I don’t do the things I want to do. I continue to do those things I hate.” He was disgusted by his behavior and felt miserable about it but continued the behavior just as we do. It made no sense to him until he proclaimed that “it is no longer I that do it but the sin that dwells in me.” (Romans 7:20)

There is a continual battle between our sinful addictive flesh (attitudes and behaviors) and God’s Spirit of recovery that is alive in us. We have on the one side that which we have to gain and lose in our addictive sin, and on the other side in recovery that which we have to gain and lose when we turn our will and lifestyle over to God to work out his purpose in us. These ambivalent feelings provide the dilemma between living recovery our way versus living recovery God’s way. We may have little to gain going our own way and have a great deal to lose, and may have little to lose going God’s way with everything to gain, yet so often we yield to our selfish independent nature and stay on our own course; that is until consequences become severe enough that hopefully we come to our senses and realize we’re hurting real badly and want God’s help.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. Romans 7:21-25 (NLT)

Jesus had occasion to heal a man who had been paralyzed for almost 40 years (John 4:1-15). We don’t know what happened that the man could not walk. The Scripture does not tell us that he was born that way. It is entirely possible that something happened to the man that left him paralyzed. It could have been a bad fall, or perhaps the man contracted a horrific disease that rendered him paralyzed. It’s possible that his condition was the result of bad behavior. Maybe he was brutally beaten as a very young man.

In any case, aware that the man had been laid up for a long time, Jesus approached him at the pool of Bethesda and asked, “Would you like to get well?” (John 4:6) This may seem like a peculiar question, but think about it in the context of this article about resistent recovery. The man went on to rationalize as to why he’d been unable to find the appropriate help to obtain the remedy required for his healing. The man didn’t yet know who Jesus was, so his elaborate response to a simple question was also a bit odd. Jesus then said to the man,

“Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk.” Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking! (John 4:8-9)

The man had a physically transformative experience. He was healed, and he knew it.

The thing is: what if the man contracted a disease on account of his own behavior that had resulted ultimately in his paralysis? I ask the question because we can often invite tragic consequences into our circumstances as the direct result of our choices and behavior. This man went from being an invalid to heading right back into harm’s way. At least that is what Jesus thought.

But afterward Jesus found him in the temple and told him, “Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.” (John 5:14)

Something “even worse” than paralysis? What could be worse than that? Temples in Bible times were often a den for prostitution. What if, as a young man, this fellow contracted a disease from a prostitute that at that time may have led to his paralysis? It appears as though Jesus went looking for the man, as though the job of the man’s recovery was incomplete. Sure enough, the man may have been after the thing he had been missing for 38 years. Could it be that he was in the process of repeating the same immoral behavior that may have cost him fellowship with God? Not so much as a punishment for sin, but because he broke fellowship with God in favor of his selfish pursuits. Isn’t that how we break fellowship with God in our lives, since we cannot worship ourselves and God at the same time? We are blessed with the Spirit of God and the Word of God, but this man had neither at that time, so Jesus sought him out physically.

Just when like we relapse back into patterns of addictive ‘me’dom thinking and behavior, so did this man. But Jesus pursued him, found him, and warned him of the danger of returning to that life. He had given the man new life through the use of his legs. Was the man going to take the blessing of a new life and take it back into his old life? Jesus made Himself known to the man so that relationship could be established beyond the physical transformation. Jesus addressed this time the man’s need for spiritual transformation. Something “even worse” than the worst of this world would be missing out on the best of the life God has for us in this life and beyond.

In the movie, “No Country for Old Men”, the villain tells a man that he has a choice concerning a coin flip. The choice for the man was to choose heads or tails as the villain held out a coin. He told the man his chances were 50-50. “You have to choose.” The man, fearing the unknown of random chance of a random consequence resulting from his choice—a consequence not made known by the villain—was completely torn and did not want to choose. Since we are free to choose to accept or reject God’s help we must indeed choose. Christ is heads and selfish ‘me’dom is tails. This time, though, it isn’t the flip of a coin; you just get to choose. You can simply choose heads and it’s done.

The Apostle Paul wrote, “Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.” The word “Lord” means authority. Jesus Christ has authority over all things everywhere. In his authority as God, Jesus has, by his grace, afforded you the ability to decide for yourself where you’re going to go and what you’re going to do and when you’re going where you’re going to do it. The thing is it’s a big bad world out there. There is a devil roaming the earth seeking whom he may devour. There is also a very selfish inner voice—your inner voice—whispering to your thoughts what you need to think and do to get your own way, even at great risk. Your inner voice is subject to the master that is sin. Ask Christ to be the one to influence your inner voice. As you submit to the voice of God in your life your chances of making it fare far better than 50-50. Otherwise, you can do a lot of damage in nine minutes.

To experience freedom in your recovery from having to constantly negotiate between what your sinful flesh demands and pursuing the will of God in your life, requires the action of repentance. Standing in the middle looking to the right and to the left is not going to get it done. Because that little devil on your left, may not be a devil at all. It is your selfish sin nature dragging you back into an addictive pattern of thinking and living. Repentance occurs when you are finally broken in your struggle for what is truly best and realize that you cannot survive on your own. Once you admit that you are not in control, that your selfishness is controlling you, and submit your brokenness into the hands of God, believing He can and will empower you to repentance, you will be given the grace to turn completely from your selfish sin and pursue real relationship with Jesus Christ.

When you are submitted in your commitment to God—in relationship with Him, not as a religious undertaking—you do not have to worry that something “even worse” can happen to you. As you focus on your commitment to the One with the authority and willingness to empower you, you are transformed and renewed, free from the enslaving power of self-centered sin (read Romans 6-8). That is a promise, and you can know for certain in your heart, mind, and soul that, when it comes to promises, God is good for it.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God. Psalm 51:12, 17 (NLT)

Guilt & Shame, Scabs & Scars (Recovery from Your Past)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:19 (NLT)

Jesus Christ came to earth to identify with the human experience, to die as a sacrifice for our self-centered ‘me’dom problem. Nailed to the cross with Jesus was every mistake we ever committed. Jesus was wounded severely with gaping wounds wide open as he bled and died. With his wounds untreated, Jesus was buried in the grave, his body broken, entombed by man’s sin. For three days, the Bible says, the soul of the Sympathetic Savior bore the anguish of all of our guilt and shame.

But then something happened. The wounded soul and body of Jesus was healed and restored; resurrected into new life. When Jesus showed himself to his friends and family, they struggled to believe it. So as proof, Jesus showed them his scars. Now his wounds were healed. Scars are healed wounds, evidence of something that was at one time extremely painful. The evidence of your past is plain to see in your scars but your wounds are healed because of Christ’s suffering. By his scars you are healed and restored, though you may struggle to believe it. The memories of your past need not own you.

There is a clear distinction that needs to be drawn between guilt and shame. Scripture is clear in identifying our responsibility for our sinful attitudes and behavior. We have all sinned and fallen short of God’s standards. Our sin has resulted in the reality of decline, decay, and death. Decline is unavoidable; decay is inevitable; death is imminent. We are guilty of sin and responsible for its consequences.

The awesome truth about God’s grace is that Jesus paid our eternal debt for sin and that we are set free from its ultimate consequences. It is fact that I need only believe in relationship with Jesus Christ for forgiveness of sin that I will spend eternity in fellowship with Christ as a member of His family. When I accept this fact into my life then God is faithful to exercise His grace and my eternity with Him is sealed. My guilt, which is my responsibility, is paid in full.

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. Psalm 103:12

When I confess my sin, God is faithful and just to forgive me (1 John 1:9). In other words, whenever I am arrested (metaphorically speaking) and brought in by my accuser for questioning, justice has already been served (Christ paid it) and the judge says that I am free to go—every single time. So why do I wrestle so with my guilt?

We tend to lose perspective about guilt. What I mean is that guilt in itself is a point of recognizing and confronting mistakes and unhealthy behavior. We are indeed responsible for our behavior. When we are guilty of making mistakes or causing harm, we have an opportunity to learn from our mistakes and grow in character and maturity.

“That is all well and good that you say God has forgiven me, and has taken me back into relationship with him, but if he really knew the awful things I have done, he would not accept me.” Have you ever felt like that? Shame is borne out of unmet and failed expectations. Whose expectations? Ultimately, it is our own unmet and failed expectations that result in our judgment of ourselves that lead to feeling shame. So many of us cannot forgive ourselves and believe that if we cannot forgive ourselves, how can God forgive us?

While guilt is an opportunity for learning and growth, shame is the distorted internalization of guilt that advances the over-personalizing of our mistakes and wrong doing. What is meant by “over-personalizing” is that if we absorb the guilt into the core character of who we are until we believe we have become the thing we are guilty of—that it somehow defines us. So when guilt says, “I did something wrong,” the evil scheme of shame is to utter, “I can’t do anything right.” When guilt says, “I did a bad thing,” shame says, “I’m a bad person.” When guilt says, “I made a mistake,” shame says, “I am a mistake.” When guilt can admit wrong and say, “I am sorry, please forgive me,” shame insists, “I am unforgivable.” Our shame screams at us, “Loser!” until we believe it about ourselves.

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”
2 Corinthians 7:10

Godly sorrow is healthy responsible conviction of sin that leads to repentance and growth. Worldly sorrow is shame stuck in the mire of failed expectations that promotes decline, decay, and ultimately death. The devil is a roaring lion seeking who he may devour and he uses shame as teeth to rip us to shreds.

A great deal of shame is felt in the open wounds of our past. We seem to make progress in putting the past behind us and then something happens or something is said that rips the wound wide open again. This occurs when the wound hasn’t healed quite yet. These are scabs that have dried up enough so that we can function in our circumstances and relationships, but as soon as the scab is met with some friction, we’re a bloody mess again. Scripture tells us that God has removed our sin as far as the east is from the west, an infinite separation. It’s time to let go of what God has Himself let go of in your life—that being past mistakes. He has declared you innocent. He has fully reinstated you as an heir to all that is His (Luke 15:11-31—the story of the restored prodigal).

What exactly are scars? Scars are evidence of healed wounds. You can see the mark of the wound but it no longer owns you. Healed wounds are rendered powerless by the grace of God as we experience freedom in surrendered (body, mind, heart and soul), committed relationship with Jesus Christ.

What we must learn is that when we live according to God’s expectations, according to what the Bible says about His expectations, we need only to let go of our own failures and rest in the compassionate mercy of our Sympathetic Savior (Hebrews 4:14-16). When we approach the throne of God where Jesus sits (He’s not on the cross anymore), confident in our relationship with Him, then He replaces our guilt with His peace.

“When our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts.” (1 John 3:20)

Trapped in a House on Fire!

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom for MEdom Project…

I admit that I like to play with matches in my house. It’s something I started doing as a child and for whatever reason I am still into it. I get gratification from the spark that comes with rubbing the tip of the match against the flint on the box and watching it light up. Flicking and throwing matches is pleasure for me. When I am in a dark place, the glow of the flame casts light into the darkness, affording me a sense of release and relief. You might say I have become hooked on the feeling that comes with playing with matches.

From time to time a match lands against something flammable and produces a little fire. When the little fires get together to form bigger fires it can become a problem. When that happens, I just go to another room in the house so I can forget about the room that’s on fire. I am a little bit concerned that playing with matches can lead to problems from time to time and I understand the need to exercise some caution.

The room I am in now is safe. I really need to light these matches. I always have a box of matches with me. Matches are important to me. They are a necessity. I just need to be more careful. So, here I go. I am playing with my matches… lighting them… flicking them. I am starting to feel something when the match comes in contact with something and causes it to burn. The fires I am causing are getting bigger until the entire room is on fire again. This ritualistic pattern continues from room to room until I am running out of rooms in the house to light matches in. The whole house is burning. The flames are out of control. The smoke is so thick that I can’t see anything.

I think I might be trapped.  I think I might be in trouble.

I am trapped in a house on fire… thick flames and smoke is all around me… everything is on fire. I admit I am powerless to the fire, but there is nowhere to go. I am on the floor breathing my last breaths as smoke and flames are overtaking me. There are those that live near my house that must see that it’s on fire.

I shout out, “Someone, help me! I am trapped in this house!” I even call out to God, “God, help me! Send someone!”

Then suddenly it happens. Someone is lifting to my feet. It’s the fireman! He is equipped to not get burned. He wraps me in his coat, puts an oxygen mask over my face and says, “Let’s go… come with me!” There is no doubt in my mind that I am not better off without the fireman. I believe, or at least hope enough, that the fireman can and will rescue me if I give up and go with him. I suppose I could look back or try to hold on to some things in the house; maybe grab onto some things I can carry with me. Then the fireman says, “Let go… it’s too heavy… and besides, it’s all on fire!” I decide that the fireman is right and I let go and do what he says to do, and go where he says to go.

The house is my life and the fire is my addiction… my selfish sense of entitlement that leads me to believe that it is my right to play with matches if I want to. The fireman is my higher power that saved me from my addiction. I look back at my life and it’s smoldering. It’s in ruins. From the place I am in now, having been rescued from the flames, I see that I have been burned by the fire. Burned bad… I hurt. I am in severe pain. I can barely move.

I look back at the fireman and he is different. He is dressed like a doctor. The doctor helps me to heal. I look at myself and see that I am much better. I look back at him and he is dressed like a construction worker. He is wearing a tool belt and hard hat. He also has a tool belt and hard hat for me, and says to me lovingly, “Let’s go… we have work to do.” He is committed, and he wants to know if I am committed to working on rebuilding the house that is my life. Once I surrender to the process of putting my life back together with the tools from the builder, He commits to working with me to do the work to rebuild my life until it is working better than ever.

Every day, as I surrender to my higher power in recovery, compelled by loving kindness, my Higher Power is committed to me and the work of rebuilding the house that is my life… it was a cottage; but I have seen the blue print… my life’s not a cottage according to these plans… it’s a castle!

Once I have moved into the new house that is my new life I am motivated to live in a way that is consistent with my new life. But to my surprise and disappointment, I continue to set fires in my new house. I still want to play with matches. Sometimes I am obsessed with getting the feeling back that had me hooked.

But something wonderful is different about my new life. I have invited and welcomed into my house the fireman, the doctor, and the builder. He is actually one person but where’s all three hats and is equipped to put out fires, treat my wounds, and restore the places in my house that get burned from time to time. He is also a teacher helping me to learn about my character flaws and teaching me how to live. He is a trainer helping me to get in shape with a healthy diet of what I allow into my thoughts. He is an advocate when I need representation when confronted by my conscience.  He is a counselor when I need someone to listen to me and affords me the wisdom to discern when I am wrong and to work out my problems. He helps me to let go of resentments that can produce really bad fires. He has shown me that it is not only about receiving grace but extending to others in need of it. He is all that and so much more when I let go and am willing to surrender.

It’s usually said that the 3^rd step is the hardest of the 12 steps. The illustration of the fireman as the rescuer from a life on fire suggests that the 3^rd step is the easiest of the steps. What is so difficult is that I don’t pay enough attention to the problems caused by and made worse by playing with matches; or worse, I see fires burning all over the house but don’t act to put them out until the fires become one massive fire raging out of control and I am powerless and desperately in need of help. When the help comes when I am desperate enough, surrender makes the most sense; it comes easy as if I have no other choice. The issue is that I might not realize my need until it’s too late and I am consumed by the fire.

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Romans 7:18-24 (NLT)

Addicted to sin… a slave to sin, according to the fireman (John 8:34), I am the arsonist. To continue to trust myself to on my own overcome addiction is to put my faith in the arsonist instead of the fireman. How insane is that?

Don’t ever wait too long to call on the fireman. Call on him, today.

So… imagine your life is a house and your addiction (ultimately to self) is the fire burning it down. Everything inside your life is on fire. Only Jesus Christ can restore your life into something whole again.

BRAINWASHED into Something Beautiful… New Life

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

The first two steps of the Twelve Step model state the following:
1. We admitted we were powerless over addiction* – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

* “addiction” is substituted for the word “alcohol”

Step Three of the Twelve Steps says, “Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” Many will say that this is the Commitment or Surrender Step. I have said that and will continue to say it. It is probably more accurate to state, though, that Step Three is the decision to surrender. It is steps four through twelve that one acts out surrender and commitment in recovery. 

It is often said that this third step is the most difficult of the twelve, which is understandable… you know… because it’s about commitment and surrender and all that. Let me suggest that when one is truly working in the truth of the first three steps that step 3 is the simplest step of the twelve. Step three is the only thing left to possibly do and is an instinctual response to the first two steps.

If you were trapped in a burning building where flames are everywhere and out of control, calling for help hoping that maybe someone will hear you, and in your moment of despair, through the intense flames and thick smoke, the fireman appears and says to you, “follow me!” What will you do? Are you at all reluctant? Why is it that when the fireman appears fully equipped to rescue you that you may cling to all that you believe you can save… which, by the way, is all on fire… when you can’t even save yourself? The fireman says, “Follow me!” and you say, “I appreciate that you can help me but I am better off on my own. I won’t burn, I’ve got this. I am all that I need.” On the other hand, if you recognized and then admitted that you are utterly powerless in the flames of such adversity, when the fireman came to your rescue you would most certainly ascertain that your odds improve greatly should you do whatever it is the fireman says to do. Believing enough, you would commit to going with him since it has to be better than what you’ve got going on on your own. So Why resist?

The evil in your addiction wants to sabotage your peace and steal your joy by deceiving you into believing its lies about you. The lie is that you need to come clean before God, even though His Word says that because of what Jesus did as the sacrifice for your sin, you can approach God with bold confidence as you are in the shape you are in. The shame of your past is on fire. Who you are in your addiction is on fire. Your past failures are on fire. Your weaknesses are on fire. Your selfish pride is on fire. The jealousy and resentment you can’t seem to shake is on fire. What you covet is on fire. Your hypocrisy in trying so hard to do right and good in your own strength is on fire.

The lie is that while the fireman fully equipped has arrived to deliver you from being engulfed in the flames, you’ve been duped into believing that on your own you can somehow fight fires. Honestly, if you were trapped in a burning building and the fireman stormed in to rescue you, would you for one second attempt to send him away so that you could put out the flames with your bucket of water? Or, would you admit sensibly that you are powerless to save yourself; believing that the fireman is your only real chance to survive, would you by necessity commit to following the fireman, doing whatever he says to save your life?

This decision to surrender is predicated on the belief in a power greater than ourselves who can rescue us to safety; then restore us into sanity. As we come to understand who we are in relation to who God is, the decision is remarkably sensible to turn our unmanageable lives—our mess—over to the ONLY ONE with the authority to renew and restore us through His plan of surrendered recovery. It is so sensible that to decide anything else only adds to the insanity of our addiction to selfish obsessions.

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. James 1:14-15 (NLT)  

“Gives birth to death“… how insane is that? When we come to understand how our brains work—selfish to the core—with automatic thoughts based on chemical reactions in the brain, fueling beliefs so irrational that they generate feelings that drive behavior willing to risk so much for instant gratification (reward), we do so at great risk and cost. The result is loss: lost freedom, lost peace, lost hope, lost trust, lost love… lost life. I am often asked, “Why do I settle for that?” It is our nature. When we seek to know ourselves through an honest inventory of ourselves, hoping to identify the exact nature of what is wrong with us, the more our self examination breaks down to our deeply rooted selfishness. We can try this and try that to fix ourselves, but it’s like pulling weeds that break off at the root but the roots are so deep that the weeds always grow back, bigger and badder than ever.

We have taken the brain that God created in us to be good, and allowed evil to come in and spread like a cancer until we are rotten to the core in our selfish thoughts, beliefs, and behavior. How does that change? It changes when we come to believe that we are powerless to our selfish motivations and intentions, come to believe in what can and will do to wash our brains, transforming them into something new, and the commit daily to letting Him brainwash us since He has afforded us the opportunity to enter into relationship with Him as an act of our will.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world (‘aeon’ or ‘age’) but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

– To read more about the translation of this passage, click New Age Living (and oh by the way, your feet smell)

While God’s love for us is unconditional, the quality of relationship we have with God is conditional. This is evident throughout Scripture. Relationships always have a when-then quality to them. When one thing happens in relationship, then another thing happens in response. To experience the life of transformative recovery empowered in relationship with God, we need to be about the when in the relationship. God will then change us into something new.

Pastor Fran Leeman unveiled from Scripture some truth I had not seen before. He said that the Greek word for ‘world’ in Romans 12:1 is ‘aeon’ (pronounced ee-on). The word means age. Apostle Paul is writing that we are not of this age who have come to believe into relationship with God through Christ Jesus. We are no longer tied into the fate of this age once transformed into new life, so why reach back thinking as though we are still what we were. God desires to change our thinking by the renewing of our minds so that we come to believe and live in the new age of the coming of the Kingdom of God, which has come by way of resurrected Christ.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

There is what we do in this transformative relationship, and there is what God does. What we do is offer our bodies to God sacrificially with our actions–our behavior. It is what we do with our eyes and our ears. It is what we do with what goes in and what comes out of our mouths. It is what we reach for with our arms and hold on to with our hands. It is where we go with our legs and where we stay with our feet (Romans 12:1). It is with our bodies that we give in to selfish urges and fall into addictive patterns, and it is with our bodies that we quit giving in to them.

There is what we do from the outside in when we offer ourselves sacrificially to God by the way we behave with our bodies. Then there is what God does in us from the inside out to completely transform us by the full renewing of our minds—literally rearranging our brain chemistry so as to empower us to live better and to think and feel healthier. God exchanges our desires and intentions with His desires and intentions. We then can resist self-centered addictive urges through the power of prayer and actually live in freedom, proving that God’s plan for us is perfect and beautiful. (Romans 12:1-2)

“Be transformed by the renewing of your minds” (Romans 12:2). The word “be” is a passive verb, meaning that it is not something we do but rather something that is done to us when we act sacrificially with our bodies committed to God’s way of behavior. Then what God does is completely transform our character and our thinking by rearranging the way our brain works, restoring it to what He created in the first place. The promise is of this transformation is that when we live according to our new God-given desires and objectives, both our behavior and what we think about and feel is healthy again. We are better having become well. We then prove in this new life that God’s plan for us is perfect and beautiful. This is how we can know and experience God’s will for us.

When we offer our bodies, meaning our physical strength to God as a living sacrifice, no longer committing our bodies to addictive patterns of behavior;

Then God completely transforms (metamorphoo) our hearts and our souls by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2). Then we can love God with our whole being, and our neighbor as ourselves.

When we commit to change externally from the outside in, changing what we do (Romans 12:1-2a),

Then God changes us internally from the inside out, changing who we are and what we think (Romans 12:2).

When we delight in the Lord in our action,

Then God gives us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4) by changing what we want according to his will and purpose.

When we rejoice, celebrating our recovery in relationship with Christ, offering praise and presenting prayer requests with our mouths, as well as showing considerate acts of service with our physical ability;

Then God replaces our anxiety with peace to our souls, guarding (covering) our hearts and our minds by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, empowering us to do anything (Philippians 4:4-7, 13).

When we commit to doing the will of God,

Then God changes our intentions and motives, according to His will (Philippians 2:13).

When we take responsibility for our behavior, repenting of our guilt (godly sorrow),

Then God mercifully removes our shame (worldly sorrow) and pain (2 Corinthians 7:10).

When we seek to know and see Jesus through prayer and a lifestyle committed to his will,

Then Jesus Christ will turn our sorrow into joy (John 16:20-22).

When we are committed to action according to the will of God, as his will takes over in us converting our intentions into doing what he intends we do,

Then we can ask him for anything and he promises to grant our requests (John 15:7).

When we commit to behaving according to the will of God, imitating the model of recovery set for us by the life of His Son Jesus,

Then we have joy overflowing as true friends of God (John 15:9-16).

“That is why the Christian is in a different position from other people who are trying to be good. They hope, by being good, to please God if there is one; or, they hope to deserve approval from good men. But the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines in it.”
—C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

These promises from the Bible reveal a when-then relationship. When we are committed to turning away from the things of our addictive flesh—outside-in change, then God is faithful to transforming us from the inside out. The original Greek translation for the word ‘transform’ is metamorphoo, meaning to metamorph from one thing into another; like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly.

Did you know that for the caterpillar to become a butterfly it is completely broken down into something of a goo (see “Something of a Goo” below), maintaining only the embryonic essentials necessary to be remade, rebuilt, reborn into something brand new that is beautiful and free. This miracle has a name; identified as “chrysalis”. In the same way, it is essential that we allow ourselves to be humbled and broken down, melted hearts and minds, to the point that we’ve no other option but to surrender to the process of transformation, rearranged and reformed into something beautiful… NEW LIFE.

As God transforms our character into a new person by changing how we think, it is like starting a new life. Not only do we act on what is healthy, mature, responsible, and godly, we want to willfully do that which pleases God. Whenever we do what pleases God it is always to our benefit, never to our detriment. That doesn’t mean we never have problems again. It means that we have his powerful support to manage and resolve problems and conflicts. When we commit our will to do the will of God, doing recovery God’s way, we do much better.

It is entirely possible with God’s help that when we pray with our mouths, and read the Bible, God’s written word, with our eyes, that our minds will be changed. We read in Romans 12:2 that the perfect will of God for you and for me is realized as we come to trust him completely and commit to our recovery his way. This is God’s way of challenging us to prove that his will for us is ideal. What an opportunity we have to experience all that God has and wants for us. Our lives make sense again as we commit to the sensible will of God and experience what God has for us in every facet of our livelihood.

Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But when God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life. Titus 3:3-7 (NLT)

“Something of a Goo”

In order for the change from a caterpillar to a butterfly to take place within the pupa, the caterpillar begins releasing enzymes that literally digest nearly all of its own body. What’s left inside the chrysalis is mostly just a very nutrient rich soup from which the butterfly will begin to form.

It was thought until very recently that the caterpillar was completely converted to goo, excepting certain special cells necessary to create the butterfly body parts. This idea has recently been debunked with researchers at Georgetown University proving that moths retain at least some of the memories they had when they were caterpillars. For this to be the case, at least some of their memory storing neurons must survive the enzyme digestion process. Further, these neurons must somehow be incorporated into the moth or butterfly’s brain, which is quite a bit larger and more complex than a caterpillar’s brain.

Also left within the goo are very tiny imaginal disks, which are similar to embryonic cells. These disks are actually present within the caterpillar its whole life, but they stop growing at a certain point in the caterpillar’s development and only start again when it is time for the caterpillar to morph into a butterfly. Once the proper time comes, the imaginal disks use the nutrients from the digested body of the caterpillar as they form into different parts of the butterfly’s body, with different disks forming into different tissues. For instance, there are imaginal disks that will form the legs, antennae, specific organs, etc. of the butterfly. There are even four imaginal disks that form wings. If one of these forming wings is removed, the other three will simply adapt to form bigger wings to compensate for the loss of the one wing.

Once the process is complete, the imaginal disks ultimately replace nearly every part of the dissolved caterpillar’s body with new “parts”, forming the butterfly.