{"id":7406,"date":"2011-05-28T08:37:39","date_gmt":"2011-05-28T08:37:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.freedomfrommedom.com\/wp3\/?p=7406"},"modified":"2018-06-01T15:13:48","modified_gmt":"2018-06-01T15:13:48","slug":"i-can-manage-just-fine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.freedomfrommedom.com\/wp3\/admit\/i-can-manage-just-fine","title":{"rendered":"I Can “Manage” Just Fine (Beware of the Illusion)"},"content":{"rendered":"
by Steven Gledhill <\/em><\/span>for FREEdom from MEdom Project<\/span><\/h5>\n

\u201cI was so obsessed with me and the reasons that I might be dissatisfied that I couldn\u2019t focus on other people\u2026 What I trace this to is a certain selfishness on my part.\u201d<\/em> —Barack Obama<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Being obsessed with me and the reasons I might be dissatisfied is forged from a core belief of entitlement\u2014I want it, believe I need it, therefore I deserve it. Entitlement suggests that I \u201cneed\u201d control. Entitled expectation\u2019s appetite for control craves validation. I must be right. Disappointment (failed expectations), anger, impatience, and fear stem from the absence of control, as do emotions such as aggravation, boredom, and frustration. Rage, resentment, vindication, and vengeance are emotional responses to the absence of control. Feeling accepted, esteemed, even loved for that matter, is embattled in a quest for privilege (advantage). It all hinges on buying into the illusion that control is possible. To not have control is to be anxious and distressed without it. Distress is unsettling and rather painful, toxic to my system, cues internal symptoms that trigger impulsive reactions, which contribute to more (and often severe) problems. Pain is inconvenient, adds to my stress, and is increasingly dissatisfying.<\/p>\n

FREEdom from MEdom Project (FFMP) was developed to help you and your family experience reasonable steps to recovery from patterns of behavior that tend to recycle the deepening dissatisfaction of daily routines and experiences. The objective is to help you access the One who can and will light the way to freedom through recovery God\u2019s way. He is the light in your darkness. He is the truth staring into the face of the lies you\u2019ve come to believe about yourself and the world you live in.<\/p>\n

What we like to believe is within our control to \u201cmanage\u201d is too often an illusion that feeds into the delusion that we are in control of our life. So it’s a surprise when things, even the simpler things, take a turn and veer into oncoming traffic forcing us to collide head on into most difficult and troubling challenges.<\/p>\n

“I would like to believe that for the most part I am in control of most things in my life. I better be. I’m not sure what I will do if things are outside of my control. Of course, the weather and things happening around the world; those kinds of things are not under my control, but I would say that most things are. Alright, so I can’t control what my wife is thinking… what she’s feeeeeling. I learned a lesson the first time around. These days most things are under my control; at least I’ve got a handle on things. I manage… I manage well enough.<\/em><\/p>\n

“What about my children, you ask? They’re good kids. They make their share of mistakes of course; experiment with certain experiences, struggle some in relationships, make questionable financial and professional decisions now that they’re grown, but they’re doing alright. Okay, so I can’t control the choices of my children, but whatever mistakes I’ve made with them, I’ll make it up by the way I help with my perfect little grandchildren. Once again, I’ll manage.<\/em><\/p>\n

“Things are good at work. It got a little tense there for awhile. I got behind on a few things, but I bounced back. It was never too unmanageable. My boss believed in me. He showed me some ‘tough love’ along the way to help me get back on track but things worked out. My performance improved. My clients were happy. They didn’t know anything was wrong. Not like before at my last job when they trumped up some ridiculous “charges” to get rid of me. \u00a0This time there was no concern there as far as I could tell. Yes, there were days when I ran around with butterflies in my stomach but I wouldn’t call it anxiety. I’m no victim. I wasn’t too worried about it.<\/em><\/p>\n

“It’s all good. I’ve got things back under control. It’s all good. I can manage just fine. Don’t worry about me. I can handle it. The day I can’t is the day it all crashes down. That won’t happen.”<\/em><\/p>\n

    \n
  • As you read the above, as general as maybe it is, what kinds of thoughts and feelings did it stir up in you?<\/li>\n
  • Rewrite what you read above into your story. You can keep it brief or you can include a few details; that’s up to you. Write about how you manage to handle things.<\/li>\n
  • On the surface, what do you think you can be doing to manage things better? What will it take to “manage” just fine?<\/li>\n
  • Look again at the anecdote above. What can you say about what the man had control over?<\/li>\n
  • What did he say that indicated a lack, or even absence, of control?<\/li>\n
  • Looking again at your story, what would you say you were or are in control over?<\/li>\n
  • What would you admit are outside of your control?<\/li>\n
  • What did you leave out of your story that is outside of your control, or just plain out of control?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    If you want to read a story of a man who thought he was in control as the King of Israel, read 2 Samuel about the life of King David. For this lesson, let’s focus on David’s pursuit of Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba.<\/p>\n

    David and\u00a0his mess<\/span><\/h2>\n

    11\u00a0In the spring of the year,\u00a0when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites. They destroyed the Ammonite army and laid siege to the city of Rabbah. However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem.<\/span><\/p>\n

    2\u00a0<\/sup>Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace. As he looked out over the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath.\u00a03\u00a0<\/sup>He sent someone to find out who she was, and he was told, \u201cShe is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.\u201d\u00a04\u00a0<\/sup>Then David sent messengers to get her; and when she came to the palace, he slept with her. She had just completed the purification rites after having her menstrual period. Then she returned home.\u00a05\u00a0<\/sup>Later, when Bathsheba discovered that she was pregnant, she sent David a message, saying, \u201cI\u2019m pregnant.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

    6\u00a0<\/sup>Then David sent word to Joab: \u201cSend me Uriah the Hittite.\u201d So Joab sent him to David.\u00a07\u00a0<\/sup>When Uriah arrived, David asked him how Joab and the army were getting along and how the war was progressing.8\u00a0<\/sup>Then he told Uriah, \u201cGo on home and relax.\u201d David even sent a gift to Uriah after he had left the palace.\u00a09\u00a0<\/sup>But Uriah didn\u2019t go home. He slept that night at the palace entrance with the king\u2019s palace guard.<\/span><\/p>\n

    10\u00a0<\/sup>When David heard that Uriah had not gone home, he summoned him and asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter? Why didn\u2019t you go home last night after being away for so long?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

    11\u00a0<\/sup>Uriah replied, \u201cThe Ark and the armies of Israel and Judah are living in tents,\u00a0and Joab and my master\u2019s men are camping in the open fields. How could I go home to wine and dine and sleep with my wife? I swear that I would never do such a thing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

    12\u00a0<\/sup>\u201cWell, stay here today,\u201d David told him, \u201cand tomorrow you may return to the army.\u201d So Uriah stayed in Jerusalem that day and the next.\u00a013\u00a0<\/sup>Then David invited him to dinner and got him drunk. But even then he couldn\u2019t get Uriah to go home to his wife. Again he slept at the palace entrance with the king\u2019s palace guard.<\/span><\/p>\n

    David Arranges for Uriah\u2019s Death<\/span><\/h3>\n

    14\u00a0<\/sup>So the next morning David wrote a letter to Joab and gave it to Uriah to deliver.\u00a015\u00a0<\/sup>The letter instructed Joab, \u201cStation Uriah on the front lines where the battle is fiercest. Then pull back so that he will be killed.\u201d\u00a016\u00a0<\/sup>So Joab assigned Uriah to a spot close to the city wall where he knew the enemy\u2019s strongest men were fighting.\u00a017\u00a0<\/sup>And when the enemy soldiers came out of the city to fight, Uriah the Hittite was killed along with several other Israelite soldiers.<\/span><\/p>\n

    18\u00a0<\/sup>Then Joab sent a battle report to David.\u00a019\u00a0<\/sup>He told his messenger, \u201cReport all the news of the battle to the king.\u00a020\u00a0<\/sup>But he might get angry and ask, \u2018Why did the troops go so close to the city? Didn\u2019t they know there would be shooting from the walls?\u00a021\u00a0<\/sup>Wasn\u2019t Abimelech son of Gideon\u00a0killed at Thebez by a woman who threw a millstone down on him from the wall? Why would you get so close to the wall?\u2019 Then tell him, \u2018Uriah the Hittite was killed, too.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

    22\u00a0<\/sup>So the messenger went to Jerusalem and gave a complete report to David.\u00a023\u00a0<\/sup>\u201cThe enemy came out against us in the open fields,\u201d he said. \u201cAnd as we chased them back to the city gate,\u00a024\u00a0<\/sup>the archers on the wall shot arrows at us. Some of the king\u2019s men were killed, including Uriah the Hittite.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

    25\u00a0<\/sup>\u201cWell, tell Joab not to be discouraged,\u201d David said. \u201cThe sword devours this one today and that one tomorrow! Fight harder next time, and conquer the city!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

    26\u00a0<\/sup>When Uriah\u2019s wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him.\u00a027\u00a0<\/sup>When the period of mourning was over, David sent for her and brought her to the palace, and she became one of his wives. Then she gave birth to a son. But the\u00a0Lord\u00a0was displeased with what David had done.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
    • What would you say David believed was within his control?<\/li>\n
    • List and describe what things you would say proved to be outside of David’s control?<\/li>\n
    • Describe how things completely when out of control?<\/li>\n
    • How did what David thought was within his control end up being irrational and unrealistic?<\/li>\n
    • If you did read the rest of 2nd Samuel, what appears to be the consequences of David’s life gone mad; out of control?<\/li>\n
    • Again, if you did read the rest of 2nd Samuel, at what point would you say that David admitted he was not in control? When would you say that David surrendered control over to the care of God? Explain.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Hint: If you read 2 Samuel 13, you have a pretty good idea how things unraveled for David.<\/p>\n

      2 Samuel 13\u00a0(NLT)<\/p>\n

      The Rape of Tamar<\/span><\/h3>\n

      1 Now David\u2019s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her. 2 Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought he could never have her.<\/span><\/p>\n

      3 But Amnon had a very crafty friend\u2014his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David\u2019s brother Shimea. 4 One day Jonadab said to Amnon, \u201cWhat\u2019s the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      So Amnon told him, \u201cI am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom\u2019s sister.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      5 \u201cWell,\u201d Jonadab said, \u201cI\u2019ll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you\u2019ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him, Amnon asked him, \u201cPlease let my sister Tamar come and cook my favorite dish as I watch. Then I can eat it from her own hands.\u201d 7 So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon\u2019s house to prepare some food for him.<\/span><\/p>\n

      8 When Tamar arrived at Amnon\u2019s house, she went to the place where he was lying down so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked his favorite dish for him. 9 But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. \u201cEveryone get out of here,\u201d Amnon told his servants. So they all left.<\/span><\/p>\n

      10 Then he said to Tamar, \u201cNow bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.\u201d So Tamar took his favorite dish to him. 11 But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, \u201cCome to bed with me, my darling sister.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      12 \u201cNo, my brother!\u201d she cried. \u201cDon\u2019t be foolish! Don\u2019t do this to me! Such wicked things aren\u2019t done in Israel. 13 Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      14 But Amnon wouldn\u2019t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. 15 Then suddenly Amnon\u2019s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. \u201cGet out of here!\u201d he snarled at her.<\/span><\/p>\n

      16 \u201cNo, no!\u201d Tamar cried. \u201cSending me away now is worse than what you\u2019ve already done to me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      But Amnon wouldn\u2019t listen to her. 17 He shouted for his servant and demanded, \u201cThrow this woman out, and lock the door behind her!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      18 So the servant put her out and locked the door behind her. She was wearing a long, beautiful robe, as was the custom in those days for the king\u2019s virgin daughters. 19 But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying.<\/span><\/p>\n

      20 Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, \u201cIs it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he\u2019s your brother. Don\u2019t you worry about it.\u201d So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom\u2019s house.<\/span><\/p>\n

      21 When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry. 22 And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about this, he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Absalom\u2019s Revenge on Amnon<\/span><\/h3>\n

      23 Two years later, when Absalom\u2019s sheep were being sheared at Baal-hazor near Ephraim, Absalom invited all the king\u2019s sons to come to a feast. 24 He went to the king and said, \u201cMy sheep-shearers are now at work. Would the king and his servants please come to celebrate the occasion with me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      25 The king replied, \u201cNo, my son. If we all came, we would be too much of a burden on you.\u201d Absalom pressed him, but the king would not come, though he gave Absalom his blessing.<\/span><\/p>\n

      26 \u201cWell, then,\u201d Absalom said, \u201cif you can\u2019t come, how about sending my brother Amnon with us?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhy Amnon?\u201d the king asked. 27 But Absalom kept on pressing the king until he finally agreed to let all his sons attend, including Amnon. So Absalom prepared a feast fit for a king.<\/span><\/p>\n

      28 Absalom told his men, \u201cWait until Amnon gets drunk; then at my signal, kill him! Don\u2019t be afraid. I\u2019m the one who has given the command. Take courage and do it!\u201d 29 So at Absalom\u2019s signal they murdered Amnon. Then the other sons of the king jumped on their mules and fled.<\/span><\/p>\n

      30 As they were on the way back to Jerusalem, this report reached David: \u201cAbsalom has killed all the king\u2019s sons; not one is left alive!\u201d 31 The king got up, tore his robe, and threw himself on the ground. His advisers also tore their clothes in horror and sorrow.<\/span><\/p>\n

      32 But just then Jonadab, the son of David\u2019s brother Shimea, arrived and said, \u201cNo, don\u2019t believe that all the king\u2019s sons have been killed! It was only Amnon! Absalom has been plotting this ever since Amnon raped his sister Tamar. 33 No, my lord the king, your sons aren\u2019t all dead! It was only Amnon.\u201d 34 Meanwhile Absalom escaped.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Then the watchman on the Jerusalem wall saw a great crowd coming down the hill on the road from the west. He ran to tell the king, \u201cI see a crowd of people coming from the Horonaim road along the side of the hill.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      35 \u201cLook!\u201d Jonadab told the king. \u201cThere they are now! The king\u2019s sons are coming, just as I said.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      36 They soon arrived, weeping and sobbing, and the king and all his servants wept bitterly with them. 37 And David mourned many days for his son Amnon.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Absalom fled to his grandfather, Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. 38 He stayed there in Geshur for three years. 39 And King David, now reconciled to Amnon\u2019s death, longed to be reunited with his son Absalom.<\/span><\/p>\n

      2 Samuel 15\u00a0(NLT)<\/p>\n

      Absalom\u2019s Rebellion<\/span><\/h3>\n

      1 After this, Absalom bought a chariot and horses, and he hired fifty bodyguards to run ahead of him. 2 He got up early every morning and went out to the gate of the city. When people brought a case to the king for judgment, Absalom would ask where in Israel they were from, and they would tell him their tribe. 3 Then Absalom would say, \u201cYou\u2019ve really got a strong case here! It\u2019s too bad the king doesn\u2019t have anyone to hear it. 4 I wish I were the judge. Then everyone could bring their cases to me for judgment, and I would give them justice!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      5 When people tried to bow before him, Absalom wouldn\u2019t let them. Instead, he took them by the hand and kissed them. 6 Absalom did this with everyone who came to the king for judgment, and so he stole the hearts of all the people of Israel.<\/span><\/p>\n

      7 After four years, Absalom said to the king, \u201cLet me go to Hebron to offer a sacrifice to the Lord and fulfill a vow I made to him. 8 For while your servant was at Geshur in Aram, I promised to sacrifice to the Lord in Hebron if he would bring me back to Jerusalem.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      9 \u201cAll right,\u201d the king told him. \u201cGo and fulfill your vow.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      So Absalom went to Hebron. 10 But while he was there, he sent secret messengers to all the tribes of Israel to stir up a rebellion against the king. \u201cAs soon as you hear the ram\u2019s horn,\u201d his message read, \u201cyou are to say, \u2018Absalom has been crowned king in Hebron.\u2019\u201d 11 He took 200 men from Jerusalem with him as guests, but they knew nothing of his intentions. 12 While Absalom was offering the sacrifices, he sent for Ahithophel, one of David\u2019s counselors who lived in Giloh. Soon many others also joined Absalom, and the conspiracy gained momentum.<\/span><\/p>\n

      David Escapes from Jerusalem<\/span><\/h3>\n

      13 A messenger soon arrived in Jerusalem to tell David, \u201cAll Israel has joined Absalom in a conspiracy against you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      14 \u201cThen we must flee at once, or it will be too late!\u201d David urged his men. \u201cHurry! If we get out of the city before Absalom arrives, both we and the city of Jerusalem will be spared from disaster.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      15 \u201cWe are with you,\u201d his advisers replied. \u201cDo what you think is best.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      16 So the king and all his household set out at once. He left no one behind except ten of his concubines to look after the palace. 17 The king and all his people set out on foot, pausing at the last house 18 to let all the king\u2019s men move past to lead the way. There were 600 men from Gath who had come with David, along with the king\u2019s bodyguard.<\/span><\/p>\n

      19 Then the king turned and said to Ittai, a leader of the men from Gath, \u201cWhy are you coming with us? Go on back to King Absalom, for you are a guest in Israel, a foreigner in exile. 20 You arrived only recently, and should I force you today to wander with us? I don\u2019t even know where we will go. Go on back and take your kinsmen with you, and may the Lord show you his unfailing love and faithfulness.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      21 But Ittai said to the king, \u201cI vow by the Lord and by your own life that I will go wherever my lord the king goes, no matter what happens\u2014whether it means life or death.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      22 David replied, \u201cAll right, come with us.\u201d So Ittai and all his men and their families went along.<\/span><\/p>\n

      23 Everyone cried loudly as the king and his followers passed by. They crossed the Kidron Valley and then went out toward the wilderness.<\/span><\/p>\n

      24 Zadok and all the Levites also came along, carrying the Ark of the Covenant of God. They set down the Ark of God, and Abiathar offered sacrifices until everyone had passed out of the city.<\/span><\/p>\n

      25 Then the king instructed Zadok to take the Ark of God back into the city. \u201cIf the Lord sees fit,\u201d David said, \u201che will bring me back to see the Ark and the Tabernacle again. 26 But if he is through with me, then let him do what seems best to him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      27 The king also told Zadok the priest, \u201cLook, here is my plan. You and Abiathar should return quietly to the city with your son Ahimaaz and Abiathar\u2019s son Jonathan. 28 I will stop at the shallows of the Jordan River and wait there for a report from you.\u201d 29 So Zadok and Abiathar took the Ark of God back to the city and stayed there.<\/span><\/p>\n

      30 David walked up the road to the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went. His head was covered and his feet were bare as a sign of mourning. And the people who were with him covered their heads and wept as they climbed the hill. 31 When someone told David that his adviser Ahithophel was now backing Absalom, David prayed, \u201cO Lord, let Ahithophel give Absalom foolish advice!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      32 When David reached the summit of the Mount of Olives where people worshiped God, Hushai the Arkite was waiting there for him. Hushai had torn his clothing and put dirt on his head as a sign of mourning. 33 But David told him, \u201cIf you go with me, you will only be a burden. 34 Return to Jerusalem and tell Absalom, \u2018I will now be your adviser, O king, just as I was your father\u2019s adviser in the past.\u2019 Then you can frustrate and counter Ahithophel\u2019s advice. 35 Zadok and Abiathar, the priests, will be there. Tell them about the plans being made in the king\u2019s palace, 36 and they will send their sons Ahimaaz and Jonathan to tell me what is going on.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      37 So David\u2019s friend Hushai returned to Jerusalem, getting there just as Absalom arrived.<\/span><\/p>\n

      2 Samuel 18\u00a0(NLT)<\/p>\n

      Absalom\u2019s Defeat and Death<\/span><\/h3>\n

      1 David now mustered the men who were with him and appointed generals and captains to lead them. 2 He sent the troops out in three groups, placing one group under Joab, one under Joab\u2019s brother Abishai son of Zeruiah, and one under Ittai, the man from Gath. The king told his troops, \u201cI am going out with you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      3 But his men objected strongly. \u201cYou must not go,\u201d they urged. \u201cIf we have to turn and run\u2014and even if half of us die\u2014it will make no difference to Absalom\u2019s troops; they will be looking only for you. You are worth 10,000 of us, and it is better that you stay here in the town and send help if we need it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      4 \u201cIf you think that\u2019s the best plan, I\u2019ll do it,\u201d the king answered. So he stood alongside the gate of the town as all the troops marched out in groups of hundreds and of thousands.<\/span><\/p>\n

      5 And the king gave this command to Joab, Abishai, and Ittai: \u201cFor my sake, deal gently with young Absalom.\u201d And all the troops heard the king give this order to his commanders.<\/span><\/p>\n

      6 So the battle began in the forest of Ephraim, 7 and the Israelite troops were beaten back by David\u2019s men. There was a great slaughter that day, and 20,000 men laid down their lives. 8 The battle raged all across the countryside, and more men died because of the forest than were killed by the sword.<\/span><\/p>\n

      9 During the battle, Absalom happened to come upon some of David\u2019s men. He tried to escape on his mule, but as he rode beneath the thick branches of a great tree, his hair got caught in the tree. His mule kept going and left him dangling in the air. 10 One of David\u2019s men saw what had happened and told Joab, \u201cI saw Absalom dangling from a great tree.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      11 \u201cWhat?\u201d Joab demanded. \u201cYou saw him there and didn\u2019t kill him? I would have rewarded you with ten pieces of silver and a hero\u2019s belt!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      12 \u201cI would not kill the king\u2019s son for even a thousand pieces of silver,\u201d the man replied to Joab. \u201cWe all heard the king say to you and Abishai and Ittai, \u2018For my sake, please spare young Absalom.\u2019 13 And if I had betrayed the king by killing his son\u2014and the king would certainly find out who did it\u2014you yourself would be the first to abandon me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      14 \u201cEnough of this nonsense,\u201d Joab said. Then he took three daggers and plunged them into Absalom\u2019s heart as he dangled, still alive, in the great tree. 15 Ten of Joab\u2019s young armor bearers then surrounded Absalom and killed him.<\/span><\/p>\n

      16 Then Joab blew the ram\u2019s horn, and his men returned from chasing the army of Israel. 17 They threw Absalom\u2019s body into a deep pit in the forest and piled a great heap of stones over it. And all Israel fled to their homes.<\/span><\/p>\n

      18 During his lifetime, Absalom had built a monument to himself in the King\u2019s Valley, for he said, \u201cI have no son to carry on my name.\u201d He named the monument after himself, and it is known as Absalom\u2019s Monument to this day.<\/span><\/p>\n

      David Mourns Absalom\u2019s Death<\/span><\/h3>\n

      19 Then Zadok\u2019s son Ahimaaz said, \u201cLet me run to the king with the good news that the Lord has rescued him from his enemies.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      20 \u201cNo,\u201d Joab told him, \u201cit wouldn\u2019t be good news to the king that his son is dead. You can be my messenger another time, but not today.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      21 Then Joab said to a man from Ethiopia, \u201cGo tell the king what you have seen.\u201d The man bowed and ran off.<\/span><\/p>\n

      22 But Ahimaaz continued to plead with Joab, \u201cWhatever happens, please let me go, too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201cWhy should you go, my son?\u201d Joab replied. \u201cThere will be no reward for your news.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      23 \u201cYes, but let me go anyway,\u201d he begged.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Joab finally said, \u201cAll right, go ahead.\u201d So Ahimaaz took the less demanding route by way of the plain and ran to Mahanaim ahead of the Ethiopian.<\/span><\/p>\n

      24 While David was sitting between the inner and outer gates of the town, the watchman climbed to the roof of the gateway by the wall. As he looked, he saw a lone man running toward them. 25 He shouted the news down to David, and the king replied, \u201cIf he is alone, he has news.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      As the messenger came closer, 26 the watchman saw another man running toward them. He shouted down, \u201cHere comes another one!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      The king replied, \u201cHe also will have news.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      27 \u201cThe first man runs like Ahimaaz son of Zadok,\u201d the watchman said.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201cHe is a good man and comes with good news,\u201d the king replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

      28 Then Ahimaaz cried out to the king, \u201cEverything is all right!\u201d He bowed before the king with his face to the ground and said, \u201cPraise to the Lord your God, who has handed over the rebels who dared to stand against my lord the king.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      29 \u201cWhat about young Absalom?\u201d the king demanded. \u201cIs he all right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      Ahimaaz replied, \u201cWhen Joab told me to come, there was a lot of commotion. But I didn\u2019t know what was happening.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      30 \u201cWait here,\u201d the king told him. So Ahimaaz stepped aside.<\/span><\/p>\n

      31 Then the man from Ethiopia arrived and said, \u201cI have good news for my lord the king. Today the Lord has rescued you from all those who rebelled against you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      32 \u201cWhat about young Absalom?\u201d the king demanded. \u201cIs he all right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      And the Ethiopian replied, \u201cMay all of your enemies, my lord the king, both now and in the future, share the fate of that young man!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      33 The king was overcome with emotion. He went up to the room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, \u201cO my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      Don\u2019t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God\u2019s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 (NLT)<\/span><\/p>\n

      In TWIRL 46 you were able to investigate the issues King David had with addictive behavior and how his life had spun out of control, to say the least. Here, let’s take a look at one more story of an Old Testament icon who attempted to take control of a situation beyond his control with historical ramifications.<\/span><\/p>\n

      Abraham and his\u00a0mess<\/span><\/h2>\n

      Below is the story of Abraham (known as Abram at the outset of the story). On more than one occasion, Abram took it upon himself to use his guile to manage his circumstances rather than surrender control over to the will and care of God. There is a great deal of Scripture here for the purpose of pointing out Abraham’s flawed character even as a man of great faith.<\/p>\n

      10\u00a0<\/sup>At that time a severe famine struck the land of Canaan, forcing Abram to go down to Egypt, where he lived as a foreigner.\u00a011\u00a0<\/sup>As he was approaching the border of Egypt, Abram said to his wife, Sarai, \u201cLook, you are a very beautiful woman.\u00a012\u00a0<\/sup>When the Egyptians see you, they will say, \u2018This is his wife. Let\u2019s kill him; then we can have her!\u2019\u00a013\u00a0<\/sup>So please tell them you are my sister. Then they will spare my life and treat me well because of their interest in you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      14\u00a0<\/sup>And sure enough, when Abram arrived in Egypt, everyone noticed Sarai\u2019s beauty.\u00a015\u00a0<\/sup>When the palace officials saw her, they sang her praises to Pharaoh, their king, and Sarai was taken into his palace.\u00a016\u00a0<\/sup>Then Pharaoh gave Abram many gifts because of her\u2014sheep, goats, cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels.<\/span><\/p>\n

      17\u00a0<\/sup>But the\u00a0Lord\u00a0sent terrible plagues upon Pharaoh and his household because of Sarai, Abram\u2019s wife.18\u00a0<\/sup>So Pharaoh summoned Abram and accused him sharply. \u201cWhat have you done to me?\u201d he demanded. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you tell me she was your wife?\u00a019\u00a0<\/sup>Why did you say, \u2018She is my sister,\u2019 and allow me to take her as my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and get out of here!\u201d20\u00a0<\/sup>Pharaoh ordered some of his men to escort them, and he sent Abram out of the country, along with his wife and all his possessions.\u00a0Genesis 12:10-20 (NLT)<\/span><\/p>\n

      The\u00a0Lord\u2019s Covenant Promise to Abram<\/span><\/h3>\n

      1\u00a0Some time later, the\u00a0Lord\u00a0spoke to Abram in a vision and said to him, \u201cDo not be afraid, Abram, for I will protect you, and your reward will be great.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      2\u00a0<\/sup>But Abram replied, \u201cO Sovereign\u00a0Lord, what good are all your blessings when I don\u2019t even have a son? Since\u00a0you’ve\u00a0given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth.\u00a03\u00a0<\/sup>You have given me no descendants of my own, so one of my servants will be my heir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      4\u00a0<\/sup>Then the\u00a0Lord\u00a0said to him, \u201cNo, your servant will not be your heir, for you will have a son of your own who will be your heir.\u201d\u00a05\u00a0<\/sup>Then the\u00a0Lord\u00a0took Abram outside and said to him, \u201cLook up into the sky and count the stars if you can. That\u2019s how many descendants you will have!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      6\u00a0<\/sup>And Abram believed the\u00a0Lord, and the\u00a0Lord\u00a0counted him as righteous because of his faith.\u00a0Genesis 15:1-6 (NLT)<\/span><\/p>\n

      The Birth of Ishmael<\/span><\/h3>\n

      1\u00a0Now Sarai, Abram\u2019s wife, had not been able to bear children for him. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar.\u00a02\u00a0<\/sup>So Sarai said to Abram, \u201cThe\u00a0Lord\u00a0has prevented me from having children. Go and sleep with my servant. Perhaps I can have children through her.\u201d And Abram agreed with Sarai\u2019s proposal.\u00a03\u00a0<\/sup>So Sarai, Abram\u2019s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife. (This happened ten years after Abram had settled in the land of Canaan.)<\/span><\/p>\n

      4\u00a0<\/sup>So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt.\u00a05\u00a0<\/sup>Then Sarai said to Abram, \u201cThis is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she\u2019s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The\u00a0Lord\u00a0will show who\u2019s wrong\u2014you or me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      6\u00a0<\/sup>Abram replied, \u201cLook, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit.\u201d Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away.<\/span><\/p>\n

      7\u00a0<\/sup>The angel of the\u00a0Lord\u00a0found Hagar beside a spring of water in the wilderness, along the road to Shur.\u00a08\u00a0<\/sup>The angel said to her, \u201cHagar, Sarai\u2019s servant, where have you come from, and where are you going?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201cI\u2019m running away from my mistress, Sarai,\u201d she replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

      9\u00a0<\/sup>The angel of the\u00a0Lord\u00a0said to her, \u201cReturn to your mistress, and submit to her authority.\u201d\u00a010\u00a0<\/sup>Then he added, \u201cI will give you more descendants than you can count.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      11\u00a0<\/sup>And the angel also said, \u201cYou are now pregnant and will give birth to a son. You are to name him Ishmael (which means \u2018God hears\u2019), for the\u00a0Lord\u00a0has heard your cry of distress.\u00a012\u00a0<\/sup>This son of yours will be a wild man, as untamed as a wild donkey! He will raise his fist against everyone, and everyone will be against him. Yes, he will live in open hostility against all his relatives.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      13\u00a0<\/sup>Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the\u00a0Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, \u201cYou are the God who sees me.\u201d\u00a0She also said, \u201cHave I truly seen the One who sees me?\u201d\u00a014\u00a0<\/sup>So that well was named Beer-lahai-roi (which means \u201cwell of the Living One who sees me\u201d). It can still be found between Kadesh and Bered.<\/span><\/p>\n

      15\u00a0<\/sup>So Hagar gave Abram a son, and Abram named him Ishmael.\u00a016\u00a0<\/sup>Abram was eighty-six years old when Ishmael was born.\u00a0Genesis 16:1-16 (NLT)<\/span><\/p>\n

      A Son Is Promised to Sarah<\/span><\/h3>\n

      1\u00a0The\u00a0Lord\u00a0appeared again to Abraham near the oak grove belonging to Mamre. One day Abraham was sitting at the entrance to his tent during the hottest part of the day.\u00a02\u00a0<\/sup>He looked up and noticed three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he ran to meet them and welcomed them, bowing low to the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n

      9\u00a0<\/sup>\u201cWhere is Sarah, your wife?\u201d the visitors asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \u201cShe\u2019s inside the tent,\u201d Abraham replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

      10\u00a0<\/sup>Then one of them said, \u201cI will return to you about this time next year, and your wife, Sarah, will have a son!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      Sarah was listening to this conversation from the tent.\u00a011\u00a0<\/sup>Abraham and Sarah were both very old by this time, and Sarah was long past the age of having children.\u00a012\u00a0<\/sup>So she laughed silently to herself and said, \u201cHow could a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master\u2014my husband\u2014is also so old?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      13\u00a0<\/sup>Then the\u00a0Lord\u00a0said to Abraham, \u201cWhy did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, \u2018Can an old woman like me have a baby?\u2019\u00a014\u00a0<\/sup>Is anything too hard for the\u00a0Lord? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      15\u00a0<\/sup>Sarah was afraid, so she denied it, saying, \u201cI didn\u2019t laugh.\u201d\u00a0But the\u00a0Lord\u00a0said, \u201cNo, you did laugh.\u201d\u00a0Genesis 18:1-2, 9-15 (NLT)<\/span><\/p>\n

      Abraham Deceives Abimelech<\/span><\/h3>\n

      1\u00a0Abraham moved south to the Negev and lived for a while between Kadesh and Shur, and then he moved on to Gerar. While living there as a foreigner,\u00a02\u00a0<\/sup>Abraham introduced his wife, Sarah, by saying, \u201cShe is my sister.\u201d So King Abimelech of Gerar sent for Sarah and had her brought to him at his palace.<\/span><\/p>\n

      3\u00a0<\/sup>But that night God came to Abimelech in a dream and told him, \u201cYou are a dead man, for that woman you have taken is already married!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      4\u00a0<\/sup>But Abimelech had not slept with her yet, so he said, \u201cLord, will you destroy an innocent nation?5\u00a0<\/sup>Didn\u2019t Abraham tell me, \u2018She is my sister\u2019? And she herself said, \u2018Yes, he is my brother.\u2019 I acted in complete innocence! My hands are clean.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      6\u00a0<\/sup>In the dream God responded, \u201cYes, I know you are innocent. That\u2019s why I kept you from sinning against me, and why I did not let you touch her.\u00a07\u00a0<\/sup>Now return the woman to her husband, and he will pray for you, for he is a prophet. Then you will live. But if you don\u2019t return her to him, you can be sure that you and all your people will die.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      8\u00a0<\/sup>Abimelech got up early the next morning and quickly called all his servants together. When he told them what had happened, his men were terrified.\u00a09\u00a0<\/sup>Then Abimelech called for Abraham. \u201cWhat have you done to us?\u201d he demanded. \u201cWhat crime have I committed that deserves treatment like this, making me and my kingdom guilty of this great sin? No one should ever do what you have done!\u00a010\u00a0<\/sup>Whatever possessed you to do such a thing?\u201d\u00a0Genesis 20:1-10 (NLT)<\/span><\/p>\n

      The Birth of Isaac<\/span><\/h3>\n

      1\u00a0The\u00a0Lord\u00a0kept his word and did for Sarah exactly what he had promised.\u00a02\u00a0<\/sup>She became pregnant, and she gave birth to a son for Abraham in his old age. This happened at just the time God had said it would.\u00a03\u00a0<\/sup>And Abraham named their son Isaac.\u00a04\u00a0<\/sup>Eight days after Isaac was born, Abraham circumcised him as God had commanded.\u00a05\u00a0<\/sup>Abraham was 100 years old when Isaac was born.<\/span><\/p>\n

      6\u00a0<\/sup>And Sarah declared, \u201cGod has brought me laughter.\u00a0All who hear about this will laugh with me.7\u00a0<\/sup>Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse a baby? Yet I have given Abraham a son in his old age!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      Hagar and Ishmael Are Sent Away<\/span><\/h3>\n

      8\u00a0<\/sup>When Isaac grew up and was about to be weaned, Abraham prepared a huge feast to celebrate the occasion.\u00a09\u00a0<\/sup>But Sarah saw Ishmael\u2014the son of Abraham and her Egyptian servant Hagar\u2014making fun of her son, Isaac.\u00a010\u00a0<\/sup>So she turned to Abraham and demanded, \u201cGet rid of that slave woman and her son. He is not going to share the inheritance with my son, Isaac. I won\u2019t have it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      11\u00a0<\/sup>This upset Abraham very much because Ishmael was his son.\u00a012\u00a0<\/sup>But God told Abraham, \u201cDo not be upset over the boy and your servant. Do whatever Sarah tells you, for Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.\u00a013\u00a0<\/sup>But I will also make a nation of the descendants of Hagar\u2019s son because he is your son, too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      14\u00a0<\/sup>So Abraham got up early the next morning, prepared food and a container of water, and strapped them on Hagar\u2019s shoulders. Then he sent her away with their son, and she wandered aimlessly in the wilderness of Beersheba.<\/span><\/p>\n

      15\u00a0<\/sup>When the water was gone, she put the boy in the shade of a bush.\u00a016\u00a0<\/sup>Then she went and sat down by herself about a hundred yards\u00a0away. \u201cI don\u2019t want to watch the boy die,\u201d she said, as she burst into tears.<\/span><\/p>\n

      17\u00a0<\/sup>But God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven, \u201cHagar, what\u2019s wrong? Do not be afraid! God has heard the boy crying as he lies there.\u00a018\u00a0<\/sup>Go to him and comfort him, for I will make a great nation from his descendants.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

      19\u00a0<\/sup>Then God opened Hagar\u2019s eyes, and she saw a well full of water. She quickly filled her water container and gave the boy a drink.<\/span><\/p>\n

      20\u00a0<\/sup>And God was with the boy as he grew up in the wilderness. He became a skillful archer,\u00a021\u00a0<\/sup>and he settled in the wilderness of Paran. His mother arranged for him to marry a woman from the land of Egypt.\u00a0Genesis 21:1-20 (NLT)<\/span><\/p>\n

      Wow! I can’t say\u00a0that I wouldn’t have panicked as well the way Abraham did as time seemed to continue on forever waiting for God to make good on His promise, but for the man with the reputation for having unwavering faith, Abraham certainly committed enough time to manipulating and circumventing the promise of God on his life.<\/p>\n

      Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)<\/span><\/p>\n