{"id":25751,"date":"2015-04-09T22:06:07","date_gmt":"2015-04-09T22:06:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.freedomfrommedom.com\/wp3\/?p=25751"},"modified":"2016-11-14T16:51:13","modified_gmt":"2016-11-14T16:51:13","slug":"tastes-good-does-it-whats-in-it-stages-of-repentance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.freedomfrommedom.com\/wp3\/commit\/tastes-good-does-it-whats-in-it-stages-of-repentance","title":{"rendered":"Tastes Good, Does It? What’s In It? (Stages of Repentance)"},"content":{"rendered":"
by Steven Gledhill<\/em><\/span>\u00a0<\/strong>for FREEdom from MEdom Project<\/span><\/h5>\n

Oh, taste and see that the Lord<\/span> is<\/i> good;<\/span>
\n Blessed is<\/i> the man who<\/i> trusts in Him!\u00a0<\/span>Psalm 34:8-10<\/span><\/span><\/h3>\n

Most of my life experiences include things that on their own are not good for me, and may even prove to be harmful over time or all at once. Life’s experiences include ingredients that tend to take me in one of two directions. There are experiences in life that contribute to more freedom in my life, and experiences that prove themselves to be\u00a0harmful in some way, are burdensome, oppressive, and take me down a road into\u00a0captivity.<\/p>\n

It would behoove me to examine the ingredients of what I let into my world. What tastes good may not be good for me. This\u00a0is that examination. This chapter takes a deeper look at what I consume into my life\u00a0through\u00a0behavioral choices and how I go about purging those ingredients from my life through repentance from sin. All sin… the obvious and the not so obvious.<\/p>\n

I understand that we either repent or we don’t. However, there does seem to be stages of repentance that parallel what cognitive behaviorists refer to as stages of change: precontemplative, contemplative, preparation (readiness), and action. I am writing about how repentance for anyone deceived by sin advances from accepting the need for change to asking what it will take to change, to being willing to change, and then doing whatever it takes to change. Change is realized through behavior changed by a contrite, repentant heart.<\/p>\n

Ingredients<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"67-mustange-junk-yard\"<\/a>Every day we consume food products that taste really good containing chemicals that on their own would never be allowed into our bodies. There are common food preservatives that are found in citrus soda drinks that are also common on flame retardants. Others that are contained in lunch meats that are also found in fertilizer and rocket propellant. Some of these chemicals are considered to be human carcinogens that are contained in potato, snack nuts, and chewing gum, but would also be found in embalming fluid. Yum, that sounds so good!<\/p>\n

Thought I\u00a0was\u00a0done with these startling revelations? I didn’t know that the same chemicals used in pesticides\u00a0are also ingredients in mayonnaise, chicken soup base, sausage, sport and energy drinks, and lipstick. How about chemical ingredients common to carbonated drinks, fruit juices, salad dressings and condiments that are also used for explosive fireworks? What? That’s right. The same sulfites identified in volcanoes can be identified on labels for wine, jarred pickles, and dried fruit.<\/p>\n

These ingredients have been approved by the Food and Drug Administration. Even though such chemicals are used with just enough amounts to serve a purpose and likely will not kill you, they\u00a0could prove to be harmful and even fatal over time. After saying all that, my attitude trends toward, “If it hasn’t killed me yet, why worry about it?” So I am really no different from most people in the civilized world when it comes to\u00a0ingesting\u00a0junk that it isn’t altogether good for me. Besides, the stuff really tastes good. It hits the spot… fills my belly… meets my need.<\/p>\n

Life or Death: The Choice is Yours<\/span><\/h2>\n

I was facilitating a group discussion with the men at the prison. It is a medium security correctional facility so all of the men will be released within two or three years. Whether they are drug dealers, robbers, and gangsters, or they are incarcerated for driving drunk again, they all hold freedom at a premium when they are in jail. It’s what you might call a captive audience, which might be a not-so-clever pun but it isn’t at all cute or funny to someone locked up.<\/p>\n

I began a group discussion about ingredients. There are ingredients that are critical for maintaining a lifestyle free from prison, and there are ingredients that, considering their current condition as convicted felons, will more than likely result in their captivity. Many of the ingredients common to freedom<\/em> are also ingredients common to captivity<\/em>.<\/p>\n

My clients are prisoners who have become used to a lifestyle where temptation runs deep into deviant criminal thinking. They typically\u00a0do not do what they do with the intention of landing in captivity for years at a time. What these men have in common is that they do what they do in their bid to experience freedom. They have developed values over time that have fostered\u00a0a belief system about what is needed to be better off than they were. Warped values that promote corrupted beliefs have fed into a sense of entitlement that’s gone mad. The breakdown in moral structure justifies behavior that is deviant and will\u00a0cause severe harm.<\/p>\n

The hopes of better quality of life intended to most free their senses are exchanged for a life of bondage that makes little to no sense at all. The men are set free from prison, will commit to some semblance of right living for a season. The pain of suffering and loss (while imprisoned) subsides and the pattern of deviance and crime is repeated, followed by predictable consequences that may even prove fatal.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it.\u201d<\/em> \u2014Dr. Henry Cloud<\/span><\/p>\n

Ambivalence is defined by Dictionary.com as\u00a0uncertainty<\/span> or<\/span> fluctuation,<\/span> especially<\/span> when<\/span> caused<\/span> by<\/span> inability<\/span> to<\/span> make\u00a0<\/span>a<\/span> choice<\/span> or<\/span> by<\/span> a<\/span> simultaneous<\/span> desire<\/span> to<\/span> say<\/span> or<\/span> do<\/span> two<\/span> opposite<\/span> or\u00a0<\/span>conflicting<\/span> things;<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>the<\/span> coexistence<\/span> within<\/span> an<\/span> individual<\/span> of<\/span> positive<\/span> and\u00a0<\/span>negative<\/span> feelings<\/span> toward<\/span> the<\/span> same<\/span> person,<\/span> object,<\/span> or<\/span> action,\u00a0<\/span>simultaneously<\/span> drawing<\/span> him<\/span> or<\/span> her<\/span> in<\/span> opposite<\/span> directions.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Have you heard the expression, “torn between two lovers”?<\/p>\n

This & That<\/span><\/h2>\n

I want this<\/em> and I want that<\/em> but they are opposite from each other. If I choose this<\/em> then I am rejecting that<\/em>. If I choose that<\/em> then I am rejecting this<\/em>. I must turn 180 degrees from this<\/em> to pursue that<\/em> because they are inherently opposed to each other. There lies the dilemma. I want both this<\/em> and that<\/em> enough that I must adjust my thinking on the matter until I come to believe that I can have and\/or do this<\/em> and that<\/em>. That, my friend, is justification. I “need” that<\/em> which is potentially harmful, wrong, and bad to be good and right and as satisfying as this<\/em>. Then I can feel better (having justified it) about settling for that<\/em> when this<\/em> is out of reach.<\/p>\n

This<\/em> and that<\/em> oppose one another since usually this<\/em> and that<\/em> represent right and wrong, good and bad, healthy and unhealthy, constructive (productive) and destructive. If I must I will attempt attempt to trick my mind, compromise\u00a0my belief system (sabotaging my sensibilities of moral standard) to convert what I intellectually understand to be wrong and bad into right and necessary; adjusting truth to fit my life—what I believe emotionally to be a need that craves satisfaction; an emptiness or void that must be filled.<\/p>\n

I have written before (DUI: Desire Under the Influence<\/a>) that even the word desire has in its definition the matter of ambivalence when described as the battle between striving with endurance for something higher that is hoped for (like running a race for the prize, or digging for hidden treasure) and settling for what ought to be right now (gratified craving, lust). What we hope for tends to be about values guarded by a refined moral code, while what ought to be is about contaminated\u00a0values weakening morality to\u00a0justify settling for what feels better than it was.<\/p>\n

The two minute video below is about a man and a woman that\u00a0were once\u00a0in a romantically intimate\u00a0relationship, and when it ended they remained\u00a0very close friends. But they have developed a growing sensation that perhaps they can return to a sexual relationship and continue to be best friends. Why not try to have this<\/em> and<\/em> that<\/em>?<\/p>\n

“It’s almost stupid if we didn’t!”<\/p>\n

“This<\/em> is very good… and that<\/em> would be very good, too.”<\/p>\n

“The idea is to combine this and that<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

“We just want to take this<\/em> and add that<\/em>.”<\/p>\n

“Of course, we need to figure out\u00a0a way to avoid the things that cause the little problems.”<\/p>\n