{"id":1822,"date":"2010-07-27T20:59:01","date_gmt":"2010-07-27T20:59:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.freedomfrommedom.com\/wp3\/?page_id=1822"},"modified":"2014-10-07T18:04:05","modified_gmt":"2014-10-07T18:04:05","slug":"approval-addiction","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.freedomfrommedom.com\/wp3\/approval-addiction","title":{"rendered":"Approval Addiction"},"content":{"rendered":"

Everyone needs to feel appreciated on a regular basis. This stems from our very human need to know and feel that what we have done is right and worthy of notice. We feel good when someone gives us their love and approval.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

However, being overly dependent on approval from others, and fearing their disapproval, comes from the belief that others are responsible for our worth. If they like what we have done or said, then we are okay. If they disapprove, then something is wrong with who we are as a person.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When we become dependent on approval because of inner insecurity or lack of love for ourselves, we choose conformity, being “nice”, and putting our dreams on hold. We play life safe, not taking too many risks, and being careful to remain in the box of acceptability. Pushing down inner passion, self-expression, and creative pursuits, our life becomes lukewarm. As a result, we turn to temporary pleasures and remedies\u00a0to fill our need for authentic joy.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How can you tell if you are truly addicted to seeking the approval of others? There are several telltale signs, and they include:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 You describe yourself as a “people pleaser”\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 You work hard at being “good”\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 You believe you must have love or approval from the significant people in your life\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 You are overly responsible taking on the responsibility of others\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 You depend on others approval to give you a sense of self-worth\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 You say “yes” to others to please them although you really want to say “no”\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 You lack self-confidence in your skills, abilities, and knowledge\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 You fear rejection or conflict\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 Your best is never good enough for you\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 You suppress your creative talents and expressions\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 If you do something that someone doesn’t approve of, you feel very guilty\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The risk of being addicted to others’ approval is that you end up living your life for other people. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Reference: Dr. Annette Colby, RD\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Ask yourself the following questions to determine if you need help:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n