Stuck in the Heartache of Deferred Hope

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” —William Shakespeare

Here is a question to get things started:

Hebrews 4:14-16 tells us that Jesus is uniquely qualified as our advocate before the Father since He during His time in the flesh experienced everything common to the human experience—physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. Can you think of a events in the Gospels when even Jesus experienced sickness of heart because of deferred hope?

There was the garden experience when Jesus was tempted understandably by human desire to change the plan He was originally a part of from the foundation of creation that required Him to be sacrificed in response to my free will to choose against the will of God. There is the crucifixion that lead to the severing of fellowship with the Father; and there was three days of who knows what that likely included condemnation for my sin and yours.

There may also be deferred hope in the human-like spirit of Jesus today in anticipation of the time of perfection when we will all join in Him in glory. There might even be the deferred hope for eternity while separated from those who rejected Him that may leave a portion of the heart of Jesus forever sick. It is in that vein that perhaps even Jesus, fully God, identifies with yearning for something even He can never have; fellowship with His sons and daughters who have rejected relationship with Him, and have therefore aligned themselves with their sins, the same sins condemned with Jesus in His crucifixion until His resurrection. I think I need to appreciate that more about my Lord.

The event I have in mind, however, is the time when Jesus would bring Lazarus back from paradise where he had realized the dream fulfilled having entered into the life and time of perfection with his Lord. Jesus brought him back and was not happy about it. Sure He was happy for his family and friends but I surmise that the heart of Jesus ached for Lazarus. In fact, the Gospel of John tells us that Jesus was deeply angered and troubled; perhaps because Lazarus would return to suffer in a life wrought with oppression and so much disappointment.

32 When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

33 When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. 34 “Where have you put him?” he asked them.

They told him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Then Jesus wept. 36 The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” 37 But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?”

38 Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. 39 “Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them.

But Martha, the dead man’s sister, protested, “Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.”

40 Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?” 41 So they rolled the stone aside. Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said, “Father, thank you for hearing me. 42 You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” 43 Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in graveclothes, his face wrapped in a headcloth. Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him go!”

It is usually taught that Jesus was angry or frustrated at the lack of faith of his closest followers. I struggle with that. Except for the disciples, most had not seen a resurrection. His disciples had seen a young girl (the daughter of Jairus) resurrected that had been dead for a minute but Lazarus had been in a tomb for four days. I have to believe that the Son of God was bigger and deeper and more compassionate than someone who would be angry that believers doubted the possibility of resurrection; having seen their brother and friend suffer into death.

While Jesus could have been human enough to be a little bit unnerved when confronted by Mary, I do not for a moment believe he was deeply angry from his gut with her or anyone else. I don’t think he was mad at anyone. I think he was angry at evil and death and that he had regret about bringing Lazarus back from the life of the dream fulfilled to the sickness of deferred hope—that Lazarus will die yet again. I believe that being deeply angered and troubled comes from his own deferred hope making his own heart sick. It’s in that sense that Jesus brought Lazarus from life back to death—from resurrected new life back to the sin-produced process of imminent physical death.

Their was probably a festive celebration for the return of Lazarus. Jesus likely attended. But only Jesus and Lazarus would experience the heartache of deferred hope now that Lazarus knew what he was missing. Having been present with the Lord, Lazarus would understand better than anyone the fulfillment of the promise of the inheritance. Jesus loved Lazarus so much, I believe it broke his heart to bring Lazarus back into the evil and death of the world. It is the death and hate in the world that stinks so bad. Deeply distressed about it, Jesus wept for his friend. (For a deeper study of this read If I Only Knew Then What I Know Now)

To Be Honest…

I had not until recently even considered going deeper into the matter of hope. Then I attended a workshop in the western suburbs of Chicago by Margaret  Nagib, Psy.D. called From Hoping to Coping. Since then, the matter about what hope is and what hope is not, has revisited my mind on a number of occasions.

I recently had a conversation with the Director of the agency where I work about following my dream. I shared with him an interest of mine and he immediately sensed that I was talking about something bigger than just another opportunity. He said that there isn’t anyone who can tell him not to follow an pursue his dream. Not his wife; not his best friend; not his employer; no one. He encouraged me to follow my dream; my life’s calling.

What is your dream today? What are you hoping for?

Hope defined is “to want something to happen or be true and think that it could happen or be true.” Included in its definition is “to cherish a desire with anticipation”; “to desire with expectation of obtainment”; and “to expect with confidence”; meaning “to trust in”.

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hopeof salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:1-5 (NLT)

So where does the problem lie? Why doesn’t this promise just solve everything for me? Why do I worry? Why am I anxious? Why so stressed? Why the heartache?

Author’s note: You will see that I write here in the first person. As you read, please read the following in the first person as in an attempt to gauge it might apply to you.

I can do all things in the strength of my relationship with Jesus, and indeed His grace is sufficient for me. So why do I ever doubt in the hope I have living within the confines of this transcendent reality of my life in Christ? Is it just me?

We are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. Philippians 3:20 (NLT)

Stuck in the Mud

The answer to these questions really is quite obvious when I dare to really think about it. It would appear that as long as I live in the human reality of this age, I have been set free from sin by the generous sacrifice of Jesus, bathed in grace, but my feet are still trudging through the mud, and I find myself preoccupied with how to move and get around in the mud. I become stuck until my heart grows sick. Especially when I know in my heart that, at least in theory, I have been set free. My focus of who I am in relationship with Jesus blurs until I do not even recognize that about myself.

“No,” Peter protested, “you will never ever wash my feet!”

Jesus replied, “Unless I wash you, you won’t belong to me.”

Simon Peter exclaimed, “Then wash my hands and head as well, Lord, not just my feet!”

Jesus replied, “A person who has bathed all over does not need to wash, except for the feet, to be entirely clean. And you disciples are clean, but not all of you.” For Jesus knew who would betray him. That is what he meant when he said, “Not all of you are clean.” John 13:8-11 (NLT)

Peter the disciple wanted for Jesus to wash him from head to toe, not understanding that in relationship with Christ he was in a good place; in good standing in the favor of the Lord God. By the grace of God, Peter was a citizen of heaven. Jesus told Peter that he didn’t need a bath; that only his feet were dirty. So Jesus graciously washed clean Peter’s feet.

Peter’s hope was tied to a man he needed to believe in. Peter, a Jewish man, tried tirelessly as a fisherman to raise his family under the tyranny of a supremacist government that didn’t have much use for him or his kind. Peter came into a relationship with Jesus Christ, and in Jesus was birthed Peter’s dream that would bring an end to reckless injustice and ring in freedom and the blessing of living under the reign of a just loving righteous king.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1 (NLT)

Jesus spoke of needing to die so that mankind could live forever but Peter did not understand the good news in those words. Peter understood that Jesus was the Savior for him and his people against Roman oppression but that dream of better days would not be possible if the Savior is dead. It made know sense.

Then Peter witnessed his would-be king get arrested and sentenced to death. Jesus promised resurrection but only Jesus had the power to raise the dead. How could Jesus do that if he himself was dead? Who would resurrect Jesus?

Oh how Peter would struggle with that. Peter would again walk in some mud. Hope deferred made Peter’s heart very sick. The same man who walked on water with Jesus would struggle again in the mud to the point that he denied even knowing Jesus when overcome by the doubt of his experience; losing hope as his dream of freedom under the rule of a loving king died with Jesus.

Peter would be sick for a few more days until his hope was reborn as his dream came back to life. The substance of his hope was fulfilled in the evidence of the resurrection of his loving king. It wouldn’t even matter that Jesus would leave him again since this time the Spirit of the king would come in and live inside the mind and will of the man and all men and women that believe. While this king was not visible to the eye, his presence was manifest in the real-life experiences of believers. At it was then, it is now.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 (NKJV)

Peter would be so certain in his relationship with God in the person of Jesus Christ that he would realize the presence of God to the extent that the experience of miracles was realized through the ministry of Peter; all done under the authority of the Father as powerful as it was through the ministry of his predecessor, Jesus himself. Peter would live the rest of his life in the realization of his dream fulfilled since he functioned as a citizen of heaven; not at all preoccupied with the mud his feet were in. As he died a martyr—himself crucified (upside down), while it was most certainly physical torture, Peter prepared in his spirit to meet the loving king he had served in the power and authority of the Holy Spirit. His dream fulfilled was his tree of new life.

The same Spirit that lived in Peter some two thousand years ago is alive in me, and is alive in you through a relationship with the loving king, Jesus Christ. So why don’t I live each day with the confidence that comes through hope realized in the experience of being in relationship with Jesus as a citizen of heaven? Jesus Christ by His Spirit lives in me. Since Jesus is with me and within me, who can be against me that stands any chance of taking anything from me? Why do I fear? What do I fear? Why the doubt? Why the lack of faith? What’s missing in me that Peter fully understood and experienced years before he died?

When you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. Ephesians 1:13-14 (NLT)

I have experienced the presence of God by way of His Spirit alive within me. I am confident that I am in real relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. I have the guarantee of the promised inheritance purchased by way of Christ’s sacrifice for my sin.

Are you getting this so far, because I am getting to the point.

Hope Deferred by Resisting Repentance 

The sickness in my heart is tied to my sin. It is forgiven sin but sin nonetheless. My sin nature is by nature dysfunctional in its addictive quality. So while I do confess my sin and God is faithful and just to forgive my sin (1 John 1:9)—meaning that when I confess my sin God has to forgive me since the debt for it was paid over the course of three days and nights in the sacrifice of His Son.

The issue then is not my standing in relationship with Christ. The issue at hand is the conflict within me that leaves me feeling unworthy. Scripture declares that you and I are worthy of the inheritance through the gracious gift of Christ’s sacrifice. However, I am holding on to the shame of my sin and for some reason cannot seem to let it go.

The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate… If I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it… 

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Excerpts from Romans 7:14-25 (NLT)

While I do take some comfort that Apostle Paul wrote all that about my ambivalence to doing what is right and best, I am all too willing to settle for instant gratification to remedy my need. It is this conflict that robs me of the experience of the peace and joy that comes from the realized hope of the abundant life that Jesus promised. It is in my ambivalence (internal disagreement between conflicting desires and motivations) that I have conflict and am resistant to going all the way in my recovery from sin addiction. It is in the resistance to repentance that I am disobedient to right best living that is the product of humbly surrendering my will—my intentions, motives, and desires—and my life—my decisions, behavior, and circumstances—to the will and care of the living God.

The Desire Conflict

Break it all down and there is the conflict inherent in human desire, which, until the perfect comes (Philippians 2, 1 Corinthians 13) and I am walking the streets of gold in glory with Jesus, is selfish and driven by self-centered intentions. This is the truth physiologically, psychologically, and spiritually. My cognitive make up is such that I want what I want when I want it. And there are judgment centers of my brain that attempt to suggest that I don’t, that I shouldn’t, that I stop, or at least that I wait. These are neurological inhibitors helping me to use caution. However, they too are motivated by selfish intentions.

Apostle Paul wrote about doing what he did not want to do, and not doing what he did want to do. When it comes right down to it, no one does anything they don’t in some way want to do. I might not want to get up to go to work and will say that “I have to get up and go to work”, but what is really going on is that I want not to experience the consequence of not getting up to go to work, and therefore in the end actually do want to get up….. And so I do just that.

Even Paul got something out of doing what he claims he did not want to do—some kind of perceived benefit—so he wanted something out of the deal. Same thing with the claim of not doing what he wanted to do. There was some degree of perceived benefit to what he did instead. What he did was chase and settle for the instant gratification that was the object of his desire, motivated by selfish intentions contrary to the will of God.

There are contrasting definitions of the word ‘desire’. According to Dr. Nagib there is the subject of desire as the wishing of the heart longing and hoping for something grand and ultimately satisfying; and there is theobject of desire that is at the center of what the mind craves and covets.

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. James 1:14-15 (NLT)

Desire in accordance with the will of God leads to the positive outcome of peace and joy in the fulfillment of something met through the resources of the One who has it all to give, meeting and exceeding every expectation as the resources of God are limitless and unending. Desire in accordance with the will of man leads to the negative outcome of instant gratification that at its best is fleeting until the realization of unmet expectation sinks in since the object of such desire proves dissatisfying in time; every time.

Dr. Nagib explained that the object of desire—a lustful covetous appetite—according to the will of man is the demise of mankind in the end. Of course Scripture supports this so powerfully when Paul writes…

I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ. They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth. But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control. Philippians 3:18-20 (NLT)

Those enemies of the cross of Christ lack the constitution for repentance since their lustful covetous cravings for this life here on earth, full of unmet expectation and unfulfilled appetite, are reliant on their lust for control. Feeding on the illusion that they are in control is what finally results in their demise… or as Paul put it, their destruction.

Surrendering control that I never really had in the first place is liberating since it isn’t given over to the wind to blow away, or into the sea to drown, or into the flames to burn, it rests in the promise of the hope that is the bridge to freedom and happiness under the sovereign authority of the Savior who is in complete control.

When Paul writes that he did what he did not want to do in the seventh chapter of Romans, I believe what he is saying is that he settled for instant gratification under what he felt he could control in the moment, forsaking the longing of his heart; that being the life-giving satisfaction in the far bigger picture of all that is under the control of Jesus Christ.

Why settle? Why did he and why do I stoop to seeking gratification in the earthly objects of carnal desire that leads to demise when I can literally dwell and abide in the experience of relationship with God, living in the realized hope of life with Jesus for an eternity… and then another… and another after that… an eternity of eternity.

That sounds so great, right? So then, why do I forsake or put off great for what is good enough… right now? Is that not the deferred hope that makes my heart sick… settling for just good enough, because hope for the time of perfection to come is not tangible enough for my selfish mind to comprehend?

So what is another word for the earthly objects of desire that prove to obstruct my view of the subject of my spiritual desire, the longing for the eternal plan and purpose of God to be fulfilled in my experience? Are you ready for it?

I don’t want to hear it, see it, or write it either.

The word for the object of my earthly desire is….. idol. That’s exactly what it is… a false god placed in front of God. It’s why Paul did what he didn’t want to do and didn’t do what he wanted to do. Like Paul, that is a real problem for me. You too?

You worship your idols with great passion… You worship them with liquid offerings and grain offerings… You have put pagan symbols on your doorposts and behind your doors. You have left me and climbed into bed with these detestable gods. You have committed yourselves to them. You love to look at their naked bodies… You grew weary in your search, but you never gave up. Desire gave you renewed strength, and you did not grow weary… excerpts from Isaiah 57 (NLT) that speak to the worship of earthly things

“Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.” Jonah 2:8 (NIV)

The power of repentance comes in the putting away of childish things and regaining perspective on what it is all about. It is in this sincere act of repentance that the mercies of God are new every morning. (I wrote “sincere repentance” but insincere repentance is not possible since it is not repentance at all. What is possible, I suppose, is insincere confession.)

The Hope of the Surrendered Life

What things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ. Philippians 3:7-8 (NKJV)

I won’t speak for anyone else, but I so struggle with this. For I know that I trust in things far too much and too often to appreciate what I have and who I am in relationship with Christ. It is my trust in things that I believe defers my hope for that which is eternally satisfying. What it takes, though, is counting all of these things as loss for the excellence—the satisfaction—of what is possible, today—right now—in this life surrendered to God.

Deferred hope in my stuff makes my heart grow sick since the outcome of trusting in myself is lacking and left wanting. I need to keep what God told the prophet Isaiah says in chapter 57 about trusting in the things in this earthly life that I have erected as idols; objects of human desire obstructing my view of the subject of what I long for…

“Let’s see if your idols can save you when you cry to them for help. Why, a puff of wind can knock them down! If you just breathe on them, they fall over! But whoever trusts in Me will inherit the land and possess My holy mountain (the best of God’s stuff).” Isaiah 57:13 (NLT)

When I say things, I am also speaking of relationships and circumstances that when I perceive are outside of the scope of what I believe I can control inevitably bring on anxiety and stress. But, oh, the difficulty of letting it go in obedient surrender in relationship with my Savior; not because it is required to be free of anxiety and stress, but because it is good and best for me to let go and surrender all things. They were never in my control in the first place. But what do I know?

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses (is better than) all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7 (NKJV)

So, if hope deferred makes the heart sick, and dreams fulfilled is central to a happy life, and as Paul wrote, the Lord Jesus Christ is involved right now (“the Lord is at hand”), then it is time to be celebrating that. This passage is not a command to stop being anxious (I can’t just turn it off) , it is a call to rejoice! Let me say it again… it is a call to rejoice! If I could actually get that, perhaps I wouldn’t be so reluctant to give up my stuff. If I let it go, it only makes sense that I am releasing with my stuff the anxiety and stress attached to it; opening the door to sustainable peace and joy.

Jesus said that the devil hopes to manipulate me through guile and deception so that I will focus so much on myself that I takes my eyes off the prize, unable to see the forest for the trees. If I am consumed with what I want and then when I don’t get it I get uncomfortable, I will settle for an immediate remedy that is ‘good enough’ and ‘better than it was’.

The Hope of the Satisfied Life

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.John 10:10

The best that Jesus has for me is the abundant life found in the tree of life in relationship with Him. The problem with receiving this blessing is that my hands are so full of my things that I obtained on my own in my strength, I am unable to receive what He is handing me. Worse than that is that I need only to let go and lay down my burden but I am unwilling since I have lost focus. What I am carrying is stacked so high that I don’t even recognize what God wants and has for me. And sadly, if what I am carrying was food, it would be a whole lot of empty calories with no nutritional value. What God has for me and for you is His very best.

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Matthew 6:27 (NLT)

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be. Matthew 6:21 (NLT)

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33 (NKJV)

The longer I dwell on this topic the more I understand that deferred hope is misdirected desire. The longer I perceive that I am content with my remedy for increasing discomfort, the more of a malcontent I become. The more I focus on my problem of what is missing the more I miss out on what God wants and has for me. He wants to bless me with his best while I continue to settle for blessing myself with what I can come up with, and the more I worry about what I cannot control and have never controlled. The more I struggle with what I cannot control the more I treasure the remedy I desire to address my growing dissatisfaction.

Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?Romans 7:24 (NLT)

Then I am like the disciple Peter who denied his Lord and Savior, even though he loved Jesus, because he no longer knew Him and could not trust in what he didn’t know and understand. Peter had sunk so deep into the mud of his own pain that he did not appreciate what was happening in the grand scheme of things; something so big it would change the course of history forever.

As I take my eyes off Jesus, stuck in the mud of all my stuff, attending to my discomfort, the less I know Him and the less I trust Him, deferring hope due to my lack of faith.

Jesus said to look higher and bigger and focus on the Kingdom of God in relationship with Him. The Kingdom of God is eternal and glorious. It is the age of resurrection into grace, and it is at hand. That means it is right now. It is immediate. It is to be experienced today; the substance of things hoped for and in its experience the evidence of things unseen (that when the time of perfection comes will be seen). It is knowing with assurance that what I long for will in fact happen. It is realized hope. I can trust it with absolute confidence.

Jesus said, as a citizen of heaven, to focus on and seek by experience the Kingdom of God and experience all that is right and best while living in it… TODAY! The peace and the joy is in realizing the hope that is real and certain… the sure thing until the time of perfection comes. It is in the experience of living in the very best of this new life experience that it is at work in me beyond what I would dare to imagine or even think in my finite mind to ask.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

Whoosh!

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

Why don’t we trust God? Is it because we struggle to entirely believe?

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.” Faith comes from hope being realized in substance according to the evidence. We don’t see gravity but we experience gravity all the time. We know the truth about gravity and come to trust it even though we do not see it. It could be said that we have a relationship with gravity. Our lives are touched by gravity everyday.

The truth is that freedom is achieved through a revolutionary event. ‘Revolutionary’ means a sudden, radical, or complete change; a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something; a change in paradigm (belief, world view), meaning your standard for living. A sudden revelation of faith having encountered the Savior, Jesus Christ, will speak life into how you experience revolutionary transformative recovery in how you live everyday—a new standard of thinking and living, with healthy hopeful expectations. It is in relationship with Jesus that you will come to know God to be real and living. It is in relationship with Christ that you enter into the new age of grace that will usher you into the experience of new life.

Dean, a 135 pound man in his mid-thirties, has been dependent on alcohol for the better part of twenty years. Beer was his drug of choice and until recently, he was drinking 15-20 beers alone each night in a period of 4-6 hours until about 10:30 or so at night before he would make his way to bed and crash until his alarm went off early the next morning.Each beer contains one ounce of alcohol, so Dean was consuming 15-20 ounces of alcohol each evening after he arrived home from work. The body metabolizes about one ounce of alcohol per hour. Since he may have metabolized 4-5 ounces of alcohol in the hours he was drinking, Dean had 10-15 beers in his system when he fell asleep, resulting in dangerous blood alcohol levels.

This occurred everyday for a number of years. It should be said too that Dean, having metabolized between six to eight beers from the time he passed out until the time he left for work, likely had between four and as many as eight beers still in his system when he left for work, meaning his blood alcohol level could still be as much or more than twice the legal limit as he drove into work. Dean reported to me there were times when he saw yellow in his eyes, which could have been the result of some liver damage. Eventually, he would have severe alcohol-related physical problems if he continued using alcohol while increasing his use.

Dean was a functioning alcoholic, meaning that he never missed work, got to work on time, babysat grandchildren, and so on. He knows now that his alcoholism would have escalated and that he would have an increase in severity of his problems related to alcohol use had he continued to use. Dean realized it was a matter of time before he would not be able to consume enough beer in his allotted time to drink, and he would likely drink more often during daytime hours. He also recognized the likelihood that he would not be able to consume enough beer needed to achieve the feeling he was after, and would need to include harder liquor with much heavier alcohol content, perhaps mixed with his beer to achieve desired results. Dean sure enjoyed his beer.

Dean had already lost one marriage due mostly to alcohol and drug-related problems and had been estranged from his teenage daughter for a couple of years, due in large part from his own shame and feeling like he was unworthy to be her dad. When his current wife of five years finally told him to choose between their marriage and his love for beer, Dean decided to get help. His wife contacted me at Heritage Counseling Center because we believe recovery from alcohol and drug dependence centers on a life-changing relationship with God.

A consideration for Dean coming to Heritage was that he had very little church background and had very little understanding about God. One might say that convincing Dean that Jesus was real, alive, and involved in his life, would be the equivalent of suggesting that Santa Claus was real, alive, and involved in his life—that Dean should pray to Santa and trust Santa for transformative power. Dean agreed to come to Heritage because we were in his insurance network through his Employee Assistance Program. One thing that Dean did understand was that he was spiritually bankrupt in his addiction to alcohol. Dean needed hospitalization in a detox unit to help him endure the symptoms of acute withdrawal. He was then admitted to our five-week intensive outpatient program (IOP) at Heritage.

I had the opportunity to share with Dean why Jesus Christ was the One—the only One—capable and willing to empower him to a life of recovery from an insurmountable addiction to alcohol. Dean would have to transition from disbelief to belief. He would have to agree that Jesus not only lived but suffered and died for his selfishness and weakness, and that Jesus arose from the dead. Dean would have to find the account of the empty tomb to be compelling enough that it is possible that this story of an event some two thousand years ago might just be true.

I told Dean that ancient historical manuscripts of literature confirm the life and death of Jesus. I told Dean about the historical accuracy of the movement (perceived by political and religious leaders as a rebellion) Jesus led against the oppressive religious hierarchy that was supported by the Roman government. I told Dean about the claims by Jesus to be the Son of God with claims of resurrection from the dead three days after his execution—claims uncontested by historical accounts.  I told him that historical literature documents that the tomb was heavily guarded with some two dozen trained and skilled Roman soldiers so as to not allow any room or opportunity for sabotage concerning the body of Jesus lying in the tomb. I told him that a massive stone weighing one and a half to two tons was used to seal a large hole dug into the side of a cave. I told Dean that the most ancient of historical manuscripts are in agreement that the tomb was in fact empty by the third day since the crucifixion of Jesus. I told him that there are historical accounts of Jewish witnesses of resurrected Jesus who sacrificed everything—their birthrights, marriages and families, inheritances, etc.—to do nothing more than speak the truth about there experience. Many of those eyewitnesses were executed in martyrdom for speaking the truth of what they experienced first hand.

Dean accepted that I would not deliberately deceive or misguide him, but what if I was misguided by some religious hoax? What then? How would this God or this Jesus empower him to recovery from his marriage and family killing disease that was also destined to destroy him, body, mind, and spirit?

While in his first week of treatment, Dean was on his way home from his IOP session when he was overcome by his urge to drink. He felt that on a scale of ten his compulsion to drink was at least 20. He was determined to stop at the gas station to buy his cigarettes and beer. At the same time, he became very afraid that doing so would cost him his marriage…again. This was an excruciating dilemma for Dean as he wrestled with ambivalent feelings of immense proportion and consequence. If he did not consume alcohol, he would go insane, literally; yet if he did drink, he would not be able to stop and he’d lose his wife, whom he loved dearly. Dean cried out, “Jesus, I don’t know if you’re real, but Steve sure believes you are,” as he prayed out loud to the God of Steve. Little did Dean know, but he was praying to the God of Dean.

“Jesus, let me do the impossible”

Dean said to Jesus, “If you’re real, come into my life and take away my need to drink.” Then suddenly, something happened to him. He said it was like a “whoosh” hit him that he could not explain. He said he felt different in some way. It was like letting air out of the balloon of his enormous urge to drink. Dean knew right then and there that the same Jesus that arose from the dead changed his mind as he cried out to him. Jesus Christ empowered Dean to do what was not possible in his own ability.

Pastor Fran Leeman (LifeSpring Community Church, Plainfield, IL)  preached a sermon about Peter walking on water. Peter and the disciples were sailing in the midst of a terrible storm when he saw Jesus, apparently standing out on the water. How was this possible? How could a man stand on the water? Peter shouted out, “Jesus, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes come,” Jesus said (Matthew 14:28-29, NLT). Pastor Leeman pointed out that he would have yelled out in a panic, “Jesus, if it’s you, calm the storm!” He said he would have wanted to see the evidence that it was Jesus, but that Peter took a much different approach. Rather than ask Jesus to prove himself real by doing the impossible, Peter asked Jesus to empower him, Peter, to do the impossible by the authority and power given him by Jesus. What profound truth.

My client Dean did this. He didn’t have anymore faith than to ask Jesus, “Is it really you?” “Are you real?” “Will you help me?” Jesus answered, “Yes, come.” Then Jesus, who spoke creation into existence with complete authority, blessed Dean with the power and the authority to do the impossible by the power given him. Dean did not have faith, really. What did he know? What Dean had was hope that Jesus was real and that he’d show up. When we know that we have no other choice but to trust God for the impossible, even when our faith is lacking and unsure, when we need a miracle, he will grant us the power to do the impossible; to move a mountain. Dean moved a mountain that night. Praise God!

Dean was giddy with assurance as he recounted the story of his miraculous drive home from treatment the night before. He reported having a genuine sense of enthusiasm and anticipation for his treatment and a life free of alcohol. For Dean, that was already a departure from his “normal” way of thinking. In an instant, Jesus Christ changed Dean’s mind. Dean had no doubt that Jesus is real. His attitude about sobriety was completely changed.

Dean learned to make sense of the ABCs of recovery from a life filled with alcohol and drug addiction with all of its disappointment and conflict. Dean would tell you himself that as he admitted to God that he was not in control of his life and powerless to do anything about it except pray for help to do the impossible, that God was faithful. He confessed to Jesus Christ that he was lost in his addictive sin, like the wayward son of the Bible (Luke 15), and that he believed that Jesus could help him and give him the ability to turn away from alcohol. He experienced the loving embrace of Jesus Christ that night. Relationship with Christ became real in one whoosh. Hope was realized and faith emerged and began to grow into something real. Dean, then, told God, and also declared it to me, that he committed his life to doing the will of God as really the only way to get right with God, with his wife, and live one day at a time sober.

When I taught Dean the principle of offering his body to God as a living sacrifice by the function and activity of his life in support of his recovery, he clearly understood. Remember, Dean does not come from a “churched-up” background. He is not someone that prayed or believed much more about God than maybe what he imagined God to be. When I talked to him about God wanting to transform his entire character into something new by the renewing of his mind, Dean grinned wide and said emphatically, “God’s already doing that.” He went on to say he thinks differently and that he “feels it.”

Dean was walking on water. When talking about how his priorities have changed, Dean talked about his relationship with God as his top priority. When talking about the benefits of a lifestyle of recovery, Dean talked about having the “love of God” in his life as the most meaningful benefit. One doesn’t typically talk about the love of God unless he has experienced the love of God changing his life.

I told Dean that with our commitment and faithfulness to working a disciplined program of recovery, according to the ABC model of transformative recovery demonstrated by Jesus himself, he would not only get well but experience the abundant blessing promised to anyone committed to living out the will of God. Dean now has the upper hand in winning the battle for his mind.

Trusting God in the details

Dean totally believed me and believed the Word of God because of the resurrection from the death in his own life he was already experiencing. Dean told me a testimony of God doing something special to affirm his faith. Dean’s is a team leader at his current position where he leads a team that maintains production machinery in a plant outside of Chicago. On a Saturday, a member of his team was working to repair a machine and having quite a bit of difficulty. It was hot in the plant (over 100 degrees), working Saturday was overtime, and nerves were getting frayed the longer it took, and the more complicated the repair seemed to become as Dean and this team member worked together to repair this machine. The longer it took to fix the thing the more behind they were in production. When it felt like the day was getting away from them going on 1:00 in the afternoon, Dean and the other guy were really at a loss for what to do. They tried everything they knew and nothing worked.

Dean thought to pray. He even thought of his ABCs of recovery and admitted to God that his way of handling the situation was not working. He felt powerless and told God that he believed that he could help somehow. He then committed to trusting God. It might have seemed to be a bit of a stretch to expect divine intervention for a machine, but… Then, just before 1:00, only minutes after Dean prayed for God’s help, the phone rang. It was an engineer who works for the company calling Dean just to ask how he was doing. The guy was calling from Ohio on a Saturday when Dean is rarely working at the plant, which seems a bit unusual to me. Dean told this engineer he was doing alright but that he was really having difficulty with a machine, and proceeded to explain the problem. The man on the phone made a few suggestions on what to do with the machine and in less than ten minutes after following the instructions of the engineer, they completed the repair and the machine worked wonderfully. Dean thanked the engineer, and then thanked God, who he believes directed this man to call him on Saturday.

Dean has admitted to me over the past year that he has had occasion to slip in his journey of recovery from alcohol addiction. Even Peter, while walking with Jesus, had occasion to slip and sink like a rock, but then he cried out again, “Jesus save me (again).” And Jesus took his hand, back up to where he is, to continue walking on water, doing the impossible by the power given by Christ.

The difference these days for Dean is that slipping back into addictive behaviors is a deft reminder that he is only as strong as his relationship with God. Dean now recognizes that falling does not have to mean failure. Rather than succumb to the death grip of shame, which could drag him back into that addictive lifestyle, Dean resumes the discipline of recovery, beginning and continuing in prayer. The transforming power of a renewed mind has empowered Dean to get up and do the right thing when he gets knocked down from time to time. He does not experience the “whoosh” like he did that first time he encountered God but he doesn’t need that anymore. Now he knows what the evidence of the unseen looks like. Each time he goes his own way and sinks, like Peter, Dean understands that it is when he extends his hand to Jesus, again and again, that he resumes walking on the water that is recovery.

Dean, who had not seen his daughter for more than two years, has been restored into relationship with her. This is one dividend of his recovery. What a blessing it is to see recovery pay off in a manner as blessed as the reunion between a father and his daughter. God is paying attention to the details in our lives and is in the business of reconciliation and recovery.

Keep in mind that these stories are not about the miracles. This stuff is kids’ stuff to God. These stories are about a Savior who keeps after his followers; a Shepherd who looks after his sheep; a Father who dotes on his children. The amazing thing about Almighty God is that he chooses out of love to have a relationship with us. All you need to remember is that it’s not about the “wow!” of the miracle; it’s about the passion within the relationship. God is passionately in love and involved with us.

God is indeed awesome!

Dean’s face lit up big time when I offered him this Scripture from the book of Ephesians.

“For this reason I bow my knees to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ…that He would grant you according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may be alive in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in His love, may be able to comprehend with all believers what is the width, depth, length and height—to know the love of Christ which is beyond knowledge; and that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or think, according to His power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Jesus Christ to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”Ephesians 3:14, 16-20 (NKJV)

The Recovery Bible (NLT) reads that God will do “what we dare to ask or even hope for.” Other Bible translations say that he will do “more than we could ask or even imagine.” God does desire to bless us beyond our wildest expectation. However, we must be fully surrendered to God to allow his Spirit to dwell, or live, in our inner man, the core of our being and character, to change how we think by the renewing of our mind.

I have had a number of clients over the years that have experienced wonderful blessing as they committed to turning their lives over to the care and will of God. Dean is a client that experienced that kind of incredible blessing in his life as testimony of God’s bountiful grace. He described God’s blessing to a co-worker as three miracles:

1) “I’m not drinking.”

2) “I’m still with my wife after all the pain I’ve brought her.”

3) “I’m reunited with my daughter.”

Dean has said that he can appreciate that as he commits himself to God by how he behaves and submits himself to God from the outside in, he can sense God working in him from the inside out. As he has committed himself to living his recovery God’s way, a transformation has taken place and the overhaul of Dean’s character continues as God continues to radically change his way of thinking from the inside out. In this relationship with Christ is victory in the battleground of the mind. As distorted thought and feelings return from time to time, Dean has discovered that he longer reacts automatically to them. He’s mindful to pray and patient to trust God.

Expanding the battleground

As of this writing, it has been two years since Dean was in my program. I was able to chat with him and talk to him about his more recent journey in recovery. He stated that there have been ups and downs along the way but that God has been faithful. He said, “God still loves us, doesn’t he.”

I shared with him what I had heard from the pulpit from Pastor Leeman about Peter walking on water empowered by God’s authority. Dean agreed; that is what God does, granting Dean the power to do the impossible. Dean said it reminds him of the time not that long ago when he had opportunity to extend his knowledge—that from a renewed mind—with a co-worker who had lost his wallet for a time. Dean asked him, “Did you pray?” He then challenged his co-worker to give prayer a chance. Dean told the man of the time when he had lost his own wallet. He had looked everywhere he could think of and did not find it anywhere. It seemed that finding his wallet would be impossible. That was until Dean prayed. You see, Dean’s mind had completely changed about prayer since Christ transformed his life. Dean prays believing. When Dean prays, he expects God to respond in some way. Dean promptly found his wallet in a place he had not thought to look.

Dean’s co-worker on the other hand did not have the faith to believe. This is how the twelfth of the twelve steps works. The twelfth step is as follows: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Earlier on, Dean had prayed to the “God of Steven”. Now Dean, having confident knowledge of the will of God to recover lost lives, saw an opportunity to help a co-worker discover the faithfulness of Jesus Christ through the recovery of his wallet. The man prayed to the “God of Dean”, and after being without his wallet for weeks, had it returned to him the very next day. Everything was still in it. Even the cash in his wallet was all there.

Dean had extended the blessing given him by God to another individual in need of a blessing. The man experienced God. Not merely the God of Dean, but the God who is attentive and involved with everyone. Dean expanded the territory of battle. With the upper hand in the battleground for his own mind it was time to take the fight for freedom beyond himself. Now there is another out there considering the realities of Almighty God. That is how recovery works. God still loves us, doesn’t he?

BRAINWASHED into Something Beautiful… New Life

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

The first two steps of the Twelve Step model state the following:
1. We admitted we were powerless over addiction* – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

* “addiction” is substituted for the word “alcohol”

Step Three of the Twelve Steps says, “Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” Many will say that this is the Commitment or Surrender Step. I have said that and will continue to say it. It is probably more accurate to state, though, that Step Three is the decision to surrender. It is steps four through twelve that one acts out surrender and commitment in recovery. 

It is often said that this third step is the most difficult of the twelve, which is understandable… you know… because it’s about commitment and surrender and all that. Let me suggest that when one is truly working in the truth of the first three steps that step 3 is the simplest step of the twelve. Step three is the only thing left to possibly do and is an instinctual response to the first two steps.

If you were trapped in a burning building where flames are everywhere and out of control, calling for help hoping that maybe someone will hear you, and in your moment of despair, through the intense flames and thick smoke, the fireman appears and says to you, “follow me!” What will you do? Are you at all reluctant? Why is it that when the fireman appears fully equipped to rescue you that you may cling to all that you believe you can save… which, by the way, is all on fire… when you can’t even save yourself? The fireman says, “Follow me!” and you say, “I appreciate that you can help me but I am better off on my own. I won’t burn, I’ve got this. I am all that I need.” On the other hand, if you recognized and then admitted that you are utterly powerless in the flames of such adversity, when the fireman came to your rescue you would most certainly ascertain that your odds improve greatly should you do whatever it is the fireman says to do. Believing enough, you would commit to going with him since it has to be better than what you’ve got going on on your own. So Why resist?

The evil in your addiction wants to sabotage your peace and steal your joy by deceiving you into believing its lies about you. The lie is that you need to come clean before God, even though His Word says that because of what Jesus did as the sacrifice for your sin, you can approach God with bold confidence as you are in the shape you are in. The shame of your past is on fire. Who you are in your addiction is on fire. Your past failures are on fire. Your weaknesses are on fire. Your selfish pride is on fire. The jealousy and resentment you can’t seem to shake is on fire. What you covet is on fire. Your hypocrisy in trying so hard to do right and good in your own strength is on fire.

The lie is that while the fireman fully equipped has arrived to deliver you from being engulfed in the flames, you’ve been duped into believing that on your own you can somehow fight fires. Honestly, if you were trapped in a burning building and the fireman stormed in to rescue you, would you for one second attempt to send him away so that you could put out the flames with your bucket of water? Or, would you admit sensibly that you are powerless to save yourself; believing that the fireman is your only real chance to survive, would you by necessity commit to following the fireman, doing whatever he says to save your life?

This decision to surrender is predicated on the belief in a power greater than ourselves who can rescue us to safety; then restore us into sanity. As we come to understand who we are in relation to who God is, the decision is remarkably sensible to turn our unmanageable lives—our mess—over to the ONLY ONE with the authority to renew and restore us through His plan of surrendered recovery. It is so sensible that to decide anything else only adds to the insanity of our addiction to selfish obsessions.

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. James 1:14-15 (NLT)  

“Gives birth to death“… how insane is that? When we come to understand how our brains work—selfish to the core—with automatic thoughts based on chemical reactions in the brain, fueling beliefs so irrational that they generate feelings that drive behavior willing to risk so much for instant gratification (reward), we do so at great risk and cost. The result is loss: lost freedom, lost peace, lost hope, lost trust, lost love… lost life. I am often asked, “Why do I settle for that?” It is our nature. When we seek to know ourselves through an honest inventory of ourselves, hoping to identify the exact nature of what is wrong with us, the more our self examination breaks down to our deeply rooted selfishness. We can try this and try that to fix ourselves, but it’s like pulling weeds that break off at the root but the roots are so deep that the weeds always grow back, bigger and badder than ever.

We have taken the brain that God created in us to be good, and allowed evil to come in and spread like a cancer until we are rotten to the core in our selfish thoughts, beliefs, and behavior. How does that change? It changes when we come to believe that we are powerless to our selfish motivations and intentions, come to believe in what can and will do to wash our brains, transforming them into something new, and the commit daily to letting Him brainwash us since He has afforded us the opportunity to enter into relationship with Him as an act of our will.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world (‘aeon’ or ‘age’) but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

– To read more about the translation of this passage, click New Age Living (and oh by the way, your feet smell)

While God’s love for us is unconditional, the quality of relationship we have with God is conditional. This is evident throughout Scripture. Relationships always have a when-then quality to them. When one thing happens in relationship, then another thing happens in response. To experience the life of transformative recovery empowered in relationship with God, we need to be about the when in the relationship. God will then change us into something new.

Pastor Fran Leeman unveiled from Scripture some truth I had not seen before. He said that the Greek word for ‘world’ in Romans 12:1 is ‘aeon’ (pronounced ee-on). The word means age. Apostle Paul is writing that we are not of this age who have come to believe into relationship with God through Christ Jesus. We are no longer tied into the fate of this age once transformed into new life, so why reach back thinking as though we are still what we were. God desires to change our thinking by the renewing of our minds so that we come to believe and live in the new age of the coming of the Kingdom of God, which has come by way of resurrected Christ.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

There is what we do in this transformative relationship, and there is what God does. What we do is offer our bodies to God sacrificially with our actions–our behavior. It is what we do with our eyes and our ears. It is what we do with what goes in and what comes out of our mouths. It is what we reach for with our arms and hold on to with our hands. It is where we go with our legs and where we stay with our feet (Romans 12:1). It is with our bodies that we give in to selfish urges and fall into addictive patterns, and it is with our bodies that we quit giving in to them.

There is what we do from the outside in when we offer ourselves sacrificially to God by the way we behave with our bodies. Then there is what God does in us from the inside out to completely transform us by the full renewing of our minds—literally rearranging our brain chemistry so as to empower us to live better and to think and feel healthier. God exchanges our desires and intentions with His desires and intentions. We then can resist self-centered addictive urges through the power of prayer and actually live in freedom, proving that God’s plan for us is perfect and beautiful. (Romans 12:1-2)

“Be transformed by the renewing of your minds” (Romans 12:2). The word “be” is a passive verb, meaning that it is not something we do but rather something that is done to us when we act sacrificially with our bodies committed to God’s way of behavior. Then what God does is completely transform our character and our thinking by rearranging the way our brain works, restoring it to what He created in the first place. The promise is of this transformation is that when we live according to our new God-given desires and objectives, both our behavior and what we think about and feel is healthy again. We are better having become well. We then prove in this new life that God’s plan for us is perfect and beautiful. This is how we can know and experience God’s will for us.

When we offer our bodies, meaning our physical strength to God as a living sacrifice, no longer committing our bodies to addictive patterns of behavior;

Then God completely transforms (metamorphoo) our hearts and our souls by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:1-2). Then we can love God with our whole being, and our neighbor as ourselves.

When we commit to change externally from the outside in, changing what we do (Romans 12:1-2a),

Then God changes us internally from the inside out, changing who we are and what we think (Romans 12:2).

When we delight in the Lord in our action,

Then God gives us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4) by changing what we want according to his will and purpose.

When we rejoice, celebrating our recovery in relationship with Christ, offering praise and presenting prayer requests with our mouths, as well as showing considerate acts of service with our physical ability;

Then God replaces our anxiety with peace to our souls, guarding (covering) our hearts and our minds by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, empowering us to do anything (Philippians 4:4-7, 13).

When we commit to doing the will of God,

Then God changes our intentions and motives, according to His will (Philippians 2:13).

When we take responsibility for our behavior, repenting of our guilt (godly sorrow),

Then God mercifully removes our shame (worldly sorrow) and pain (2 Corinthians 7:10).

When we seek to know and see Jesus through prayer and a lifestyle committed to his will,

Then Jesus Christ will turn our sorrow into joy (John 16:20-22).

When we are committed to action according to the will of God, as his will takes over in us converting our intentions into doing what he intends we do,

Then we can ask him for anything and he promises to grant our requests (John 15:7).

When we commit to behaving according to the will of God, imitating the model of recovery set for us by the life of His Son Jesus,

Then we have joy overflowing as true friends of God (John 15:9-16).

“That is why the Christian is in a different position from other people who are trying to be good. They hope, by being good, to please God if there is one; or, they hope to deserve approval from good men. But the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines in it.”
—C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

These promises from the Bible reveal a when-then relationship. When we are committed to turning away from the things of our addictive flesh—outside-in change, then God is faithful to transforming us from the inside out. The original Greek translation for the word ‘transform’ is metamorphoo, meaning to metamorph from one thing into another; like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly.

Did you know that for the caterpillar to become a butterfly it is completely broken down into something of a goo (see “Something of a Goo” below), maintaining only the embryonic essentials necessary to be remade, rebuilt, reborn into something brand new that is beautiful and free. This miracle has a name; identified as “chrysalis”. In the same way, it is essential that we allow ourselves to be humbled and broken down, melted hearts and minds, to the point that we’ve no other option but to surrender to the process of transformation, rearranged and reformed into something beautiful… NEW LIFE.

As God transforms our character into a new person by changing how we think, it is like starting a new life. Not only do we act on what is healthy, mature, responsible, and godly, we want to willfully do that which pleases God. Whenever we do what pleases God it is always to our benefit, never to our detriment. That doesn’t mean we never have problems again. It means that we have his powerful support to manage and resolve problems and conflicts. When we commit our will to do the will of God, doing recovery God’s way, we do much better.

It is entirely possible with God’s help that when we pray with our mouths, and read the Bible, God’s written word, with our eyes, that our minds will be changed. We read in Romans 12:2 that the perfect will of God for you and for me is realized as we come to trust him completely and commit to our recovery his way. This is God’s way of challenging us to prove that his will for us is ideal. What an opportunity we have to experience all that God has and wants for us. Our lives make sense again as we commit to the sensible will of God and experience what God has for us in every facet of our livelihood.

Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But when God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life. Titus 3:3-7 (NLT)

“Something of a Goo”

In order for the change from a caterpillar to a butterfly to take place within the pupa, the caterpillar begins releasing enzymes that literally digest nearly all of its own body. What’s left inside the chrysalis is mostly just a very nutrient rich soup from which the butterfly will begin to form.

It was thought until very recently that the caterpillar was completely converted to goo, excepting certain special cells necessary to create the butterfly body parts. This idea has recently been debunked with researchers at Georgetown University proving that moths retain at least some of the memories they had when they were caterpillars. For this to be the case, at least some of their memory storing neurons must survive the enzyme digestion process. Further, these neurons must somehow be incorporated into the moth or butterfly’s brain, which is quite a bit larger and more complex than a caterpillar’s brain.

Also left within the goo are very tiny imaginal disks, which are similar to embryonic cells. These disks are actually present within the caterpillar its whole life, but they stop growing at a certain point in the caterpillar’s development and only start again when it is time for the caterpillar to morph into a butterfly. Once the proper time comes, the imaginal disks use the nutrients from the digested body of the caterpillar as they form into different parts of the butterfly’s body, with different disks forming into different tissues. For instance, there are imaginal disks that will form the legs, antennae, specific organs, etc. of the butterfly. There are even four imaginal disks that form wings. If one of these forming wings is removed, the other three will simply adapt to form bigger wings to compensate for the loss of the one wing.

Once the process is complete, the imaginal disks ultimately replace nearly every part of the dissolved caterpillar’s body with new “parts”, forming the butterfly.

Stock Exchange: Sound Investment Strategy

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.” Matthew 13-44-46 (NIV)

“What do we really believe about God?” Do not dismiss the question. What do you really believe about God, today? Think it through. Should you come to fully believe what you read on this site about Jesus Christ, nothing will hold you back from giving him everything. The first thing to lay hold of is the fact that all that is made was made by God. It’s all his idea. He made it all in its purest form. He then entrusted it all to us starting with Adam and Eve. From the beginning we have been made shareholders of God’s valuable resources.

So as you read this, ask yourself. “Am I investing in God’s best for me in this life, or am I settling for the best that I can do on my own?”

Imagine your father is Bill Gates and you are an heir to his empire as his son or daughter since he adopted you. You’ve been given a role in the vast empire that is Microsoft. You were not initially able to purchase stock in the company when you were young and starting out so Mr. Gates, your dad, purchased enough shares in your name that you are 100 percent vested in the company. The other thing about your dad is that he is a great man, loved and respected by all who have really come to know him and believe in him and his plans and purposes for the business. As you have opportunity to invest more of what he has given you, you’ve come to believe that your investment will yield a huge return. You’re confident that as you continue to give to the company that the company will give back to you. It is a certainty–a sure thing.

Scripture assures us that we are adopted sons and daughters of God our Father, and that we are literally heirs to all that is his. We are shareholders in the family and kingdom–or business–of our Father. As we are willing to let go of our pursuits and invest in the resources of God and Heaven, the return on our investment is without limit or restraint. As shareholders of all that is his, what is holding us back from investing in God’s kingdom? Talk about upward mobility…

Most of us have heard the expression that “we reap what we sow”. Sowing is a concept most commonly considered with farming and gardening. Once the seed is planted it is sown into the soil. The soil is nurtured and cultivated until it produces a harvest. Sowing is about investment and the harvest is the return on our investment. We sow, or invest, in the world we live in everyday. We invest our time and our resources into what we can produce in this world, as well as what this world can produce in our lives.

The real issue in this arrangement for sowing and harvest in our lives is our imperfection. We are flawed and the systems of the world are flawed. When we calculate the math in a flawed system of worldly economics, we come up short every time. As we invest into a flawed system, the return on our investment is insufficient. The formula for sowing and reaping is correct, but the results are dissatisfying. Therefore, we spend our lives in a futile attempt to rework the formula. It becomes our obsession as we pursue to understand the logic of our discontent. If we can somehow figure it out, then we can change the formula until it works for us. We work and we struggle as if we’re trying to untangle a knot, or tangled wire. Have you ever felt really stuck working to untangle Christmas lights? The harder we work to untangle the knot the more tangled it becomes until it is impossible.

God’s system for sowing and reaping is tied up in the person of who he is. God is perfect, thus his system really is perfect. The formula is the same, it is the source and the system that we invest in that is the difference. When we invest in God’s economy we can receive everything that God wants and has for us. He wants what is best for us. What is best for us is his best for us. God’s resources are endless. He gives and he gives and he gives. Talk about a return on your investment.

Do you want God’s best? Are you willing to trust God, even when it’s pretty rough going? The Bible assures us that when we let go of what we have and what we know and trust in God for everything, abiding in his will for us, then we can ask him for anything and he will give it to us. When we allow God to replace our desires with his desires it frees the Holy Spirit of God to fill us with godly intentions and character. He cannot wait then to give us the desires of our heart. You will learn that God gives us a new heart and mind with new desires.

It is spiritually healthy to want something special to happen in our lives as we choose recovery from the discomfort of our dissatisfaction. Too many people that come through my alcohol and drug treatment program are afraid to ask God for anything more than their sobriety. To commit one’s recovery into the will and care of God is to give him our entire life.

Once we can accept that we all still get uncomfortable and suffer from this world’s residual effect on our lives, we can establish our life of recovery knowing that God lives in us through the Spirit of Jesus Christ. God promises us that when we surrender ourselves to him and fully trust him, living recovery his way, not for his good but for our good, then he is faithful to bless us and will give to us the desire of our hearts.

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your ways to the Lord, also trust in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:4-5 (NKJV)

The challenge is simple and straightforward. We need to let go of our defective value system and let God heal us and change us into what he values for us, a life that is abundant with the provisional and spiritual blessing only God can give. The challenge is to admit our weakness, letting go of what we think we know is best for us, and believe letting God enjoy doing what he knows is a life of peace and joy for us. As we embrace this challenge and commit to our recovery from our addiction to us, discovering and doing the will of God in our life, the Bible declares that we can ask God for anything and he will give it to us.

Jesus said,

“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified (takes pleasure), that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love…These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in You, and that your joy may be to the fullest. John 15:7-9, 11 (NKJV)

When we are sincere in our commitment to the will of God in our life, he expects us to come to him with our needs and even our wants. When we are abiding in the will of our Lord Jesus, our will conforms to his will, as we are transformed and renewed (Romans 12:1-2). This is always good. In Christ, we have a Savior who sympathizes with us having been weak in the flesh himself while on earth. But now, Jesus challenges us in his word to approach his throne of grace with confidence and boldness in our moment of need (Hebrews 4:15-16).

Jesus Christ is the king that rules over all things. He is in complete authority. Subordinates of a ruler generally fear their ruler. We are not minions in the kingdom of Jesus Christ. We are friends of the king when we are abiding in the will and love of him who saved us. When we are disciplined in our commitment to work our recovery God’s way, the Bible says that we are disciples of Jesus Christ. Jesus said that, as his disciples, meaning followers of his teachings, we are his friends.

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. John 15:15 (NIV)

How awesome is that? We are friends of God! That is something to get excited about.

So, as friends of Jesus Christ, we can talk to him about anything. We can tell him what we need and what we want.

“If you abide in Me and My will abides in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. John 15:7 (NKJV)

It is critical to understand this. God wants to bless us with what we want in this life. But he can only do that when what we want is consistent with what he wants for us, which is a good thing since he always has our interests close to his heart. What God wants is to shower you and me with his best—the best of his resources. So what do you want your life of recovery from disappointing imperfection to look like?

Men and women I have worked with in my practice, who has told Christ what they want their life sober to look like and feel like, have experienced God’s hand in their circumstances and relationships. They will tell you that approaching the throne of grace with confidence, even boldness, has been the difference between surviving sober and thriving in their recovery as they are blessed by God.

God desires that we seek him out and pursue, by prayer with grateful hearts, the things that we desire in maintaining our commitment to recovery from imperfection God’s way. Tell God about the things in your life that you would like him to bless you in. Start by talking to him about your relationship with your spouse and your children. Tell him about your struggles, and tell him about your wants and dreams. God desires to show you favor from his storehouse of blessing.

May God grant you according to your heart’s desire, and fulfill all your purpose. We will rejoice in your salvation (recovery), and in the name of our God we will set our standard of excellence! May the Lord fulfill all of your requests. Psalm 20:4-5 (NKJV)

God loves us so much! He cannot wait to open up heaven and bless us. Jesus set the standard by dying for his friends, telling us that is the greatest expression of love there is (John 15:13). Jesus said that everything God did for him while he was on the earth; he wants to do for us. All we need to do is abide in his love, and allow his will to be alive and active in us, which as recovering people, we should know by now is also in our best interest.

When it comes to what you want your life to look like, go to God with your desires about your relationships, your job and your finances. Seek first the things of God and trust him to bless you out of his abundance for everything else in your life that you value. Tell God you want more in your marriage and for your children. Tell him that you want more in your career. Tell God that you want financial stability for your family. Tell God that you want to be healthier physically, emotionally and spiritually. Tell God that you want to know his will and grow in confidence of faith.

Your values about what you are and what you own change as you are willing to let go of whatever it is you value that owns you in exchange for that which God owns and values for you; and wants for you to own.

Be sure that your motives are humble and sincere, that you are esteeming the interests of others as at least equal to your own, and that you are working a responsible disciplined program of recovery. As you desire and ask for everything that God wants and has for you, then, realistically with confidence, expect him to bless you until your life and world as a recovering person is all you want it to be.

Open Sesame…The Way Out is the Way In

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project…

“Why don’t we trust God?” Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.” Faith comes from hope being realized in substance according to the evidence. We don’t see gravity but we experience gravity all the time. We know the truth about gravity and come to trust it even though we do not see it. It could be said that we have a relationship with gravity. Our lives are touched by gravity everyday.

The truth is that freedom is achieved through a revolutionary event. ‘Revolutionary’ means a sudden, radical, or complete change; a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something; a change in paradigm (belief, world view), meaning your standard for living. A sudden revelation of faith having encountered the Savior, Jesus Christ, will speak life into how you experience revolutionary transformative recovery in how you live everyday—a new standard of thinking and living, with healthy hopeful expectations. It is in relationship with Jesus that you will come to know God to be real and living. It is in relationship with Christ that you enter into the new age of grace that will usher you into the experience of new life.

After Jesus spoke to a crowd about what it was to really be in relationship with him, they struggled to understand. He had just fed thousands of these people with two fish and five loves of bread with a bunch of leftovers. The people were impressed, amazed, and satisfied that Jesus was the prophet sent by God to lift them from their oppression to the evil Roman Empire ruining their very existence.

When the people saw him do this miraculous sign, they exclaimed, “Surely, he is the Prophet we have been expecting!” John 6:14 (NLT)

Many from the crowd followed the twelve disciples a great distance in boats across a raucous sea to get more of, and from, Jesus. They hoped to force his hand and make him their king. They were not entirely interested in having a relationship with Jesus, but wanted a better life than the one they had, and he was their “meal” ticket—not much different from the way it is today. They asked, “How do we achieve God’s work in our life? What should we do?”

Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, you want to be with me because I fed you, not because you understood the miraculous signs. But don’t be so concerned about perishable things like food. Spend your energy seeking the eternal life that the Son of Man can give you. For God the Father has given me the seal of his approval.” Jesus told them, “This is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent.” John 6:26-27, 29 (NLT)

Jesus went on to talk about how he is the true bread, and to come into real relationship with him is like eating his flesh and drinking his blood as to inhabit or dwell in fellowship with him. This was a difficult teaching to conceptualize and understand. They were not ready for that kind of commitment in relationship with Jesus. He was sounding a bit out there. After all, they knew his parents and siblings. Now he’s talking about eating his flesh like eating bread in a desperate state of hunger, and drinking his blood as if it were water quenching a great thirst.

Pastor Fran Leeman (LifeSpring Community Church, Plainfield, IL) preached on this and my eyes were opened to the vast contrast between who Jesus is and what we often perceive him to be. We might blame religious doctrines and traditions for jaded perceptions about the person of Jesus Christ. Besides the twelve, there were dozens, perhaps hundreds of disciples (followers), who had followed Jesus to Capernaum.

Jesus said to them,

“I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But you haven’t believed in me even though you have seen me. I tell you the truth, anyone who believes has eternal life. Yes, I am the bread of life!” John 6:35-36, 47-48 (NLT)

But then…

Many of his disciples said, “This is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it?” John 6:60 (NLT)

Jesus was aware that many of these followers did not recognize that he represented the authority of God, who they thought they knew. How could Jesus be bread sent down from heaven? They complained and argued amongst themselves against this teaching. One minute, these so-called “believers” were ready to literally cross the deepest sea and climb the highest mountain to obtain the freedom they so desperately sought from their oppressor by way of their new king, Jesus. The next minute, they were so full of doubt that they were ready to walk away from freedom. And many of them did just that. (Even though they had no other choice, someone telling them they needed to say “open sesame” in order to experience freedom in life was nuts and they were not about to follow that kind of leader.)

At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. John 6:66 (NLT)

Jesus was weeding out those who want what he really wants and has for them—relationship with the giver, from those only coming to the party for food and gifts.

Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?” John 6:67 (NLT)

What about you? Recovery can be a rough road at times. Life is hard. What if you run into something that is difficult to understand? Why would God allow this or that to happen in my life? Even though Christ has delivered you from your oppressor, addictive self-centered obsession and sin, something happens that evokes doubt and has you asking questions. Will you give up on Jesus and turn away?

I shared this complex teaching with a client, Collin, who came in to our recovery program motivated by legal issues for a third DUI aggravated by the fact that he received it while driving with a revoked driver’s license. He was 65 hours into a 75-hour outpatient program that took a few months to complete. He did not believe in God at the outset of his therapy. He had never really prayed before in his life. He was a man with money. Collin had run a company with his father until his father died of cancer and he sold his share of the company. He was a good-looking single gentleman in his early 40s and in a stable relationship with his girlfriend. Collin was what you might call a self-made man. But he had this debilitating legal cloud hanging over his head. If convicted of his crime he would see prison time, up to three years.

Collin, who had had it all once and is still doing pretty well for himself, told me that he felt something was missing. He had attended church weddings and saw people engaging in religious activities that seemed to have meaning to them. He told me that our recovery program, unapologetically Christ-centered and Biblically based, could profit him beyond the obvious legal benefit. While my client did not believe in God or Jesus Christ, he was not at all opposed to the idea of faith in God. But still, believing in the practical reality of Jesus alive was comparable to believing that Santa Clause is real, alive and the one who can save him.

I encouraged Collin from the beginning to pray out loud when he had privacy. He’d feel like he was talking to himself for awhile but became increasingly comfortable as he would quietly talk to God while he went for walks. He had heard enough people in his therapy groups who he’d come to know and trust tell him that prayer works, and who sounded believable, he give this prayer thing a try. In time he could sense that God might be listening though it was by no way a sure thing. Then he encountered a situation that he had no control over and he spent time praying about it. Things seemed to work out and my client agreed that it was likely God working in the situation that got resolved. He would thank God and talk to him with a much stronger sense that Jesus not a fable of imagination but is indeed real, listening, and involved.

Then Collin arrived at his court date for the aggravated DUI. He prayed the night before as he walked. He understood that he was guilty of self-centered addictive behavior, that he and others could have been severely affected by his actions, and that God did not owe him anything. While his lawyer and the prosecutor were in a room at the courthouse discussing his case with the judge, Collin prayed. He could get three years and would likely get at least a third to half of that time in prison. He would certainly go away for awhile. Would his girlfriend and her two-year-old daughter—who he loves very much—wait for him?

His lawyer came out from the room. His lawyer gave my client the thumbs up as he approached him. Maybe he would get less than a year. What did that mean? The next morning I received a message on my cell phone. It was Collin asking emphatically that I call him back, which I promptly did. He didn’t even say hello. “I got probation!” Wow! I had told him stories of others I have counseled that have experienced God quite dramatically in dire circumstances. Now he experienced the compassionate mercy of Jesus Christ in his real-life crisis. Considering the mandatory prison time he was supposed to receive according to Illinois law, it’s as though Collin was pardoned by this judge. This time, it wasn’t merely a sense that God was involved. This time he knew it. It was evident and substantial. The God of the universe who does not owe Collin anything, was compassionate and merciful—real, engaged, and active in Collin’s life.

Like I was saying, I explained to him this difficult teaching about Jesus as the true bread of life—eternal life—sent from heaven. He would agree that eating Christ’s body and drinking his blood is hard to understand. He liked the analogy that Jesus used about the vine and branches (John 15:1-8) much better. I read the question Jesus asked the twelve core disciples after a bunch of avid followers turned and walked away bewildered: “Are you also going to leave?” I asked Collin how he thought they responded. He answered, “Where else are they gonna go?” I was stunned for a moment. That was an insightful thing to say for someone so new to faith. Then I told him how the disciples responded, as Peter spoke for them.

Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:68 (NLT)

Collin said that that is how he felt in court. There was only one who could rescue him from what was surely to be his fate. He might not have been under government oppression like the Jews were at the time of Christ but prison would have changed all that. There isn’t much in life more oppressive than prison. Collin said “open sesame” (metaphorically speaking) and Jesus Christ removed his barrier to freedom making his way for escape. It is Jesus that has the words of life. Where else are you gonna go?

Remember that faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen (Hebrews 11:1). Substance and evidence is knowledge and assurance. When you are in relationship with Jesus Christ to the extent that you hunger and thirst for him, you will know him. It will initiate a revolutionary event in your life and spirit that turns you toward Jesus, especially in the presence of your doubt. And when you have doubt in the presence of serious, even grave circumstances, you can believe with assurance in him because you know him. Jesus Christ is God with all authority. He is the Holy One of God, set apart from the imperfections and limitations that exist in this temporal world we live in. Trust in who you know. Hunger and thirst for the life he wants for you. He can and will give to you all that is his if you’ll let go of your ill-conceived notion of control and give yourself to Jesus.

But we who live by the Spirit eagerly wait to receive by faith the righteousness God has promised to us. Galatians 5:5 (NLT)

When you believe— body, mind, heart, and soul—that God is in control and has it all at his disposal, and that everything he has is yours if you want it (that’s what he said), then committing to live in relationship with Christ is actually quite simple. It is what makes the most sense. Then, you have committed to living in the authority of the one you came to believe.

What other choice do you have, really?

What do you believe… really believe… about God, today? Be sure!

“I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24 (NLT)

Trapped in a House on Fire!

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom for MEdom Project…

It’s been said that the first of the twelve steps is a step of surrender… to admit that I am powerless over my addiction and that my life is unmanageable. This may be true, but the whole truth is that surrender can go one way or the other. I might admit that I am powerless over my addiction but then still surrender to my addiction when there isn’t a viable higher power. My addiction is a power greater than myself. I can’t change it; I can’t stop it; and if I can’t beat it, I might as well join it and surrender to the ritualistic power that my addiction has over me. OR, I can come into a connection with a power greater than myself; and more powerful than my addiction.

The Prodigal Son that Jesus talked about had to make that call when it finally dawned on him that he was going to starve to death if he continued down the path of destruction he was on. Coming to his senses meant that he realized what was at stake in his addiction. He could have chosen to remain in it and, like it or not, live with what may have come with the temporary gratifications in his mess of a life.

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Romans 7:18-24 (NLT)

What does it really mean to admit that I am truly powerless?

I am trapped in a house on fire… thick flames and smoke is all around me… everything is on fire. I admit I am powerless to the fire, but there is nowhere to go. I am on the floor breathing my last breaths as smoke and flames are overtaking me. But then suddenly it happens. Someone is lifting me to my feet. It’s the fireman. He is fully equipped to not get burned. He wraps me in his coat, puts an oxygen mask over my face and says, “Let’s go… come with me!” There is no doubt in my mind that I am not better off without the fireman. I believe, or at least hope enough, that the fireman can and will rescue me if I give up my position from where I am and go with him. (Step 2 suggests that I have come to believe in a power greater than myself who can restore me to sanity… to right living.) I suppose I could look back or try to hold on to some things in the house; maybe grab onto some things I can carry with me while being rescued. Some things are just hard to let go of.

Then the fireman says, “Let go… that’s too much weight… and besides, it’s all on fire!” I decide that the fireman is right and I let it go and do what he says for me to do, and go where he says for me to go. (Step 3 suggests that I have decided to turn my will and life over to the care of God, or in this case the fireman, as I understood him, or have come to believe in him and what he is equipped to do for me.)

Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. Romans 7:24-25, 8:1-2 (NLT)

You see, the house is my life and the fire is my addiction. The fireman is my higher power that saved me from my addiction. I look back at my life and it’s smoldering. It’s in ruins. I look back at the fireman and he is dressed like a doctor. The doctor helps me to heal. I look at myself and see that I am much better. I look back at him and he is dressed like a construction worker. He is wearing a tool belt and hard hat. He also has a tool belt and hard hat for me, and says to me lovingly, “Let’s go… we have work to do.” He is committed with me to do the work to rebuild my life until it is working better than ever (steps 4-12).

Every day, as I surrender to my higher power in recovery, compelled by loving kindness, my Higher Power is committed to me and the work of rebuilding the house that is my life… it was a cottage; but I have seen the blue print… my life’s not a cottage according to these plans… it’s a castle. From inside this castle, I look to my Higher Power, and listen to him. He is a father to me; he is my brother; and and he is my friend.

But because I still have a tendency to start fires that affect my life and those living in the house that is my life… you know, because I am still selfish… my Higher Power comes in like a fireman whenever I call for help. I need not use the phone, though, to contact Him. You see, He lives in my house. So He is always there; always available; always accessible. He is still the doctor that heals my wounds since I tend to carelessly walk right into the fire. I can be ignorant like that; so caught up in my indulgences that I pay no mind to the fires. After putting out fires and patching up my wounds, He does the patchwork around my life when its beyond me to repair things. Because He is also the builder. The builder affords me the ability and willpower to do some self-repair. And most valuable is that He is faithful; faithful to equip and help me, heal me, and remake me.

It’s often said that the third step is the hardest of the twelve steps. The illustration of the fireman as the rescuer from a life on fire suggests that the third step is the easiest of the steps. What is so difficult is that I see fires burning all over the house but don’t act to put them out until the fires become one massive fire raging out of control and I am powerless and desperately in need of help. When the help comes in my desperation, surrender makes the most sense; you might say that surrender comes easy as if I have no other choice. The issue is that I might not realize my need until it’s too late and I am consumed by the fire.

Addicted to sin… a slave to sin, according to the fireman (John 8:34), I am the arsonist. To continue to trust myself to on my own overcome addiction is to put my faith in the arsonist instead of the fireman. How insane is that?

Don’t ever wait too long to call on the fireman. Call on him, today.

So… imagine your life is a house and your addiction (ultimately to self) is the fire burning it down. Everything inside your life is on fire. Only Jesus Christ can restore your life into something whole again.