Faithful and Just to Forgive (Made Complete in Love to Love)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

Take your time… This read is a unique Bible Study on the essence and virtue of forgiveness both coming in and going out. My hope is that the examination of some truth concerning the matter of forgiveness and the cost of grace will make it nearly impossible for you to ever again suppress the motivation to let go and forgive… One less burden to carry.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 (NKJV)

Have you fully considered the profound reality contained in the promise that when you confess your sins that God is faithful and (that’s right) just to forgive you entirely and cleanse you of all unrighteousness?

The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. Psalm 103:10-13 (NLT)

What an incredible promise, but… what does it all mean for you, and what does it actually require of you, or from you?

Also, did you catch the qualifier in the promise? It’s in there twice. The promise applies to those who fear Him; like a child reveres his father—loyal, submitted under his authority and direction, honoring him, holding him in highest esteem. Children of whom’s fathers are loving, gracious, generous providers, and protective; worship their dad’s; want to be like their fathers, or marry someone just like dad.

First, let’s examine more closely what the promise of forgiveness means for us.

As a child of God, having been reborn in the Spirit of God through relationship with Jesus, I have been renewed into newness of life… a new creation… with new thoughts and attitudes… my new nature being like Christ’s… viewed as holy and pure by Holy God.

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him,  throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:21-24 (NLT)

How did this come about?

Made Weak

Well, it cost God His very own son. It cost Jesus his divine privilege, having embraced the full nature within a human existence, with all of its inherent flaws.  It cost Jesus his life by way of crucifixion. And most severe, it cost Jesus his human soul, having experienced the full weight of the consequence for sin; the full wrath of God against the evil hostility contained within the sin of all mankind.

For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Romans 8:3-4 (NKJV)

“Weak through the flesh” means that no one can have relationship with God by way of the law since the law of God is the moral standard that no man, woman or child can live up to. If adhering to the moral standard, according to the law, the old covenant, was the avenue to heaven and relationship with God, no human person would ever see heaven since relationship with God would be impossible. But as long as sin abounded in the flesh of human beings, there needed to be a way to kill it. To be separated from sin meant that sin would be condemned to hell, put away for eternity.

He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”

Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “What! Could you not watch with Me one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.” And He came and found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy.

So He left them, went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. Matthew 26:39-44 (NKJV)

Jesus understood the gravity of his circumstance. He understood that “the cup” was the cup of God’s wrath against His enemies. This is huge! It should not be minimized or marginalized. It was more than death on a cross while fully human in the flesh. It was three days in the heart of the earth to experience in his soul of flesh the full wrath of a just God. Within the soul of the Son’s flesh, by way of your sin and mine, was hostility against His Father. He was positionally the same as the prodigal son, who in his reckless hedonistic sinful existence was dead to his father (“My son was dead…”  Luke 15:24). Remember that the father of the prodigal son is not the one who left, forsaking his son; it was the son who left; forsaking his father. This was the relationship between God the Father and God the Son for those three days that Jesus suffered the torture of the cup of wrath in the belly of the earth. It must have been an eternity for them.

It was the price for newness of life for all who receive this gift. When considering that this reconciliation into relationship with God cost Him everything(!), it really goes without saying that salvation cannot be earned lest any man would dare to boast (considering what it cost).

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9 (NLT)

It is in this context of what mercy for sin cost both God the Father and God the Son that we examine what it really means that He is faithful and just to forgive when we confess our sin.

I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain. Galatians 2:21  (NKJV)

Does it mean that God is faithful to you and me that He forgives us and purifies us from all unrighteousness? Or does it mean that God the Father is faithful to Himself and perhaps His Son, that the sacrifice for sin would not be in vain… wasted… shrugged off as insignificant? The justice of God concerning our confession is that because He loves us so much, and desperately craves relationship with us that He sacrificed His Son for us, He owes it, not to us, but to Himself to fulfill the purpose of it all by declaring us innocent; holy for that matter.

So, what happened when it all happened?

Made Right

When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. Romans 5:6-11 (NLT)

Again, when considering what it cost God (the condemnation for sin through the experience of His Son in the heart of the earth), how absurd would it be to contemplate for even a moment that somehow someone could be good enough to be called righteous?

The free gift is not like the offense. For if by the one man’s offense many died, much more the grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ, abounded to many. And the gift is not like that which came through the one who sinned. For the judgment which came from one offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in justification. For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ. Romans 5:15-17 (NKJV)

Even more inane than some notion that salvation can be earned is salvation by way of God’s mercy being taken for granted. Meaning what? Meaning, why sweat sin and selfish indulgence since God is faithful and just to forgive each and every time I confess my sin, as though I merely have a sin problem? I am hooked and cannot help myself. Good thing I have my ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ grace card should I give in to the sudden urge for gratification by way of a selfish action that is sinful.

For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man’s obedience many will be made righteous. Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? CERTAINLY NOT! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Romans 5:19-21, 6:1-2 (NKJV)

Made New, Whole, Complete

The Apostle Paul is clearly informing us that as we have been involved by way of baptism into Christ’s death and resurrected with Him into new life, we no longer live subject to the power of the sin nature, no longer a slave to sin but set free.

He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!  For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them.
2 Corinthians 5:15, 17, 19 (NLT)

The old life is gone; the new life has begun! I want to believe that but then, oops, I did it again! I sinned again. Disgusting! Why do I continue to be lured by temptation, at times craving what comes with temptation, if the old life is gone, and I have been transformed into this new creation? Or as Paul wrote, why do I keep doing what I really do not want to be doing? He said that it is no longer I doing it, but something else still within me that is doing it.

If I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:20 (NLT)

My friend, Pastor Fran Leeman, has said that the new person, the new creation, is no longer the one sinning. He can’t sin! It is the old sin nature hanging around that sins. If I am in relationship with Christ, however, even though it appears as though the old nature is cunning and baffling—powerful, it no longer owns me or defines me.

Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.

Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. Romans 6:1-8 (NLT)

If I am in relationship with Jesus, having been baptized into his death, buried with him, and then been resurrected—reborn—into newness of life with him, then as He was declared innocent of the sin of all people for all of time, I am declared innocent of all of my sin from this point going back in time, as well as for whatever sins my old nature will commit from today forward. The truth about justification is that it is just if I’d never sinned… EVER!

And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority. Colossians 2:6-10 (NLT)

Buried with Him in baptism… you also were raised with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead. Colossians 2:12 (NKJV)

You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross. Colossians 2:13-15 (NLT)

Believe it or not, this is indeed a Bible study on forgiveness… being forgiven as well as forgiving. Once it is understood where the power and peace comes from to forgive even the unforgivable, the non-repentant brothers and sisters you come across, you will recognize that mercy is something that emanates from being complete in Christ, who has made you into a finished product, having been filled through your union with Him.

“The glory of God is man fully alive.” —Saint Irenaeus

You and I were broken in our sin until our Messiah came on the scene to pick up the broken pieces, condemn to hell that which was breaking us, and then fill this restored vessel with Himself. To be filled is to be made whole, filled with the pure goodness that is all of the righteousness of God; meaning all that is good; all that is virtuous; all that is the very best of everything God is. It is the essence of grace. It is the fullness of all that is alive.

Resentment is one’s commitment to malice, hostility and unforgiveness.  The glory of God is not something to be suppressed by animus. It should be obvious at this point that an unforgiving, merciless heart grieves the Spirit of God.

Transformed with a New Mind

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him… 
or as I believe it should say, “… as we came to believe in Him.”

As you read the following passage from Paul’s letter to the church in Rome, is there any doubt what inspired the third of the twelve steps?

God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable. Just as you who were at one time disobedient to God have now received mercy as a result of their disobedience… receive mercy as a result of God’s mercy to you. For God has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all. Romans 11:29-32 (NIV)

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world (aeon in the original Greek, meaning ‘age’), but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2 (NIV)

Central to living this new life experience in relationship with Christ is experiencing transformation. Paul reminds us that what God has done through the ransom for sin for all who were disobedient, are included in the resurrection and transformed into newness of life with a renewed mindset and new attitude.

There is what I do and there is what God does.

What I do is I offer my life (body, mind and soul) sacrificially as an expression of my gratitude in a spirit of worship to the life-giver. I live as though set apart and anew in clear contrast to the patterns of this age that is mortal, finite, and its end is in sight. What God does is He changes me; restoring me into something He intended from the beginning. I suggest that we are restored since we were created with humanity being something beautiful and wonderful.

It’s like that antique piece of furniture in the junk heap or automobile in the junk yard that was no longer useful and considered obsolete; left for dead. Then someone elects to care for it, applying favor and ingenuity to repair and refinish it with just the right parts and ingredients until it is once again fully functional and better than ever in every way. What was once considered junk and dead is found and alive and esteemed as precious and priceless. The antique could not repair itself. It needed to be and was repaired, transformed into something amazing; renewed into something of highest value.

I cannot change the internal parts of me that are dying and must be brought back to life. I cannot change the defects in my thinking as long as they are intrinsically flawed in me. All I do is what is suggested that keeps me positionally accessible to the work of my Creator.

The word ‘be’ in “Be transformed” is a passive verb. It is what God does to me within me. It is the same as when Jesus says to be perfect and righteous as He and the Father is perfect and righteous. It is not something we do, it is what we are made into in relationship with God.

Now it’s time to examine more closely what the promise of forgiveness requires of us.

Made to Love

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20 (NKJV)

How is it evident that I am truly in relationship with God through Jesus Christ?

Well, if I commit sin since having been forgiven under the cover of grace, conducting myself as though I have a license to sin… not all that conflicted about it… there lacks sufficient evidence that I know Jesus and that Jesus knows me. If I defy relationship with God “committed” to living in disobedience by way of the flesh, though He loves me, Christ would not be living in me.

Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. Romans 6:16 (NLT)

Having been made into newness of life since Christ is living in me, what does that look like? What do I look like?

Jesus and the apostles throughout the New Testament mandate that the clearest evidence that one is a follower of Jesus Christ is love. Disciples of Jesus are motivated by the love of God coursing through them, expressed to one another through loving kindness and mercy.

Jesus said, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:34-35 (NLT)

There, of course, is a myriad of Scripture in the New Testament on the topic of love and loving one another. Love is the foundation for new life in Christ.

When Jesus was approached about what it truly means to be a disciple, he stated the need to love God with your heart, mind, soul and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself. He identified one’s neighbor as, not merely those you love and gravitate toward, but those who may be unattractive, even offensive to you; offensive being that you might offended by the person or by the situation and circumstance they represent that you are not comfortable with.

Jesus spoke of love as sacrificial, willing to surrender your way of life to serve God through love to one another. He let wealthy people know that loving Jesus means being willing to surrender your wealth and your time to help those in need. Just like the question, “Who’s my neighbor?” comes the question, “Who’s wealthy?” I will leave it up to you to search your heart with God to respond honestly to those questions.

Extend the Blessing

We have been blessed with the gift of new life through salvation, having experienced resurrection with Jesus through redemption into right relationship with God. God loves us so much that He made himself fully human to experience the full impact of the burden for sin. He extended a blessing to us that we can never fully comprehend.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to
carry this message to others in need, and to practice these principles in all our
affairs.

This is the twelfth of the twelve steps except that I modified it to include “others in need” for the purpose of emphasizing this point. I am called, in light of the spiritual reality of new life from the inside out, to carry the message of hope through newness of life to all who are receptive. I do not (because I cannot) contain the blessing, meaning that as I experience the fullness of God living in me I am unable to keep it to myself. The force from within is like a mighty river from within that will force its way out. It hasn’t left me. It continually flows though me and overflowing from me.

Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” John 7:38 (NIV)

Made for Mercy

“Vengeance may be right but it’s not yours. It doesn’t belong to you.” —Darwin Williams, Chicago, IL

A couple of years back, I was in a circumstance when I was wronged in a big, big way. I was hurt by it, disgusted by it, and when the person who wronged I saw doing wrong, I wanted desperately to get even. It would have been justifiable. I get stirred up inside just thinking about it again, since “the wronging” persists doing wrong in that area of my life. But the anger in me is selfish, corrupt, and infected by my old sin nature. God’s anger is righteous and He is just. I need only to trust Him, and in trusting Him, let go of the resentment that churns and burns from within.

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord. Romans 12:19 (NLT)

David had been anointed to be the next king and King Saul was having none of it. He wasn’t ready to go anywhere for some time and he wasn’t going to let David hone in on what was his. So Saul and his army went looking for David and his little band of brothers, seeking to kill David and put an end to the momentum David was building to become the next king sooner than later.

David was a smart young warrior of valor, but on one occasion you might say he got lucky. He and his men were sleeping deep into a cave. Saul’s men were too sleeping he recessed into the cave and also lied down for the night. Fearful, angry, and seemingly with just cause, David was poised to put an end to the chase by killing Saul quietly in his sleep and then slipping out with his men. Instead, contrary to the urging of his advisers, David cut off a piece of Saul’s robe swaddled next to him and then showed Saul from a distance away that he had it.

In the daylight of the morning, David called out to his adversary:

“For the Lord placed you at my mercy back there in the cave. Some of my men told me to kill you, but I spared you… This proves that I am not trying to harm you and that I have not sinned against you, even though you have been hunting for me to kill me… May the Lord judge between us. Perhaps the Lord will punish you for what you are trying to do to me, but I will never harm you.”
1 Samuel 24:10-12 (NLT)

To burn with anger and resentment is to entertain for gratification the selfish sin nature. For the new creation full of grace, resentment and the spirit of unforgiveness is in no way a reflection, extension, or expression of the love of God that is the fruit-bearing evidence of the new life in relationship with Him. It is love that bears witness to new life in God. Compassion and mercy is the evidence of the love that reflects Christ.

Testimony Time

I apologize in advance for the ambiguity in this testimony but the details are not important. With what I will disclose, you can fill in the gaps from your own personal experience and relate it to your own issues when it comes to anger and resentment.

I will admit to you that I definitely struggle with resentment and remembering. A couple of years back this really came to a head in meaningful relationships of mine. Things were done and things were said over time that resulted in substantial harm to me. It wasn’t that the relationships were in themselves toxic but there were obvious toxins in the goings on in the relationships in need of a remedy. They could not continue as they were.

The resentment burned and grew like cancer infecting my mood and attitude and spilled out onto valued loved ones in my life, and it was not at all fair to them. It was likely affecting my work as a counselor, especially since it conflicted with the integrity of my recovery and my ability to educate, listen to, and counsel my clients in need of recovery. I doubt I effectively modeled recovery during that time.

One Sunday morning at a worship service, the pastor spoke from Matthew chapter 18 concerning forgiveness:

²¹ Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

²² Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

²³ “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. ²⁵ Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

²⁶ “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ ²⁷ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

²⁸ “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

²⁹ “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

³⁰ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. ³¹ When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

³² “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. ³³ Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ ³⁴ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

³⁵ “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Matthew 18:21-35 (NIV)

My Challenge 

God began challenging my spirit, though I didn’t know it yet. I had come to the place where my resentment sank so deep into my being that it was feeling like hatred toward people I cared very much about; individuals I love. It was sickening to me how bad it was. I was feeling deep conviction, guilt for that matter, and was feeling pushed from within to do something. But I didn’t know what to do.

Something I understood was that Jesus mandated, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT)

I confessed to God my feelings after service and began to pray in my mind. I sometimes pray my ABC of recovery and did so here walking to my car from church.

I A, admitted to God that the situation was way beyond my ability to control it or change (fix) it and that on my own, I was unable really to do much of anything about it. I admitted to God that even my feelings by now were out of control and that I couldn’t turn them off.

I told God that I B, believed in what He could do since all things in the end were under His control. He has given us each free will but God knows what makes each of us tick and what it will take for each of us to move from where we are in the circumstance, as well as in the relationship with one another.

I told God that C, I committed to turning my will and my life over to His plan for me and for those in this conflict with me. I told God that I will seek not my will in it, and that I will comply with His will and what He tells me to do.

God did tell me. He told me what I needed to do for reconciliation in these relationships. I did not hear an audible voice; never have. I heard the Spirit of God communicate something clear as a bell. Words came to my thoughts. I understood what He wanted me to do and I did not like it.

Anybody want to guess what God told me to do?

Are you ready for it?

He told me to apologize… to tell them I am sorry.

How could I apologize to them when they should be apologizing to me?! They owe me that!

What was I sorry about? How can I say that I’m sorry when I am not sorry?

Then the Spirit of God flooded my heart and mind with conviction about what I was sorry about. He revealed to me that my resentment and unforgiving spirit was sin against God and brought substantial harm to them (and to me) and that it was not justifiable on any level. He told my thoughts that I was entirely responsible for all that I contributed to the mess and ugliness. He informed my mind that my resistance to repentance for my sin was on me, not them.

When I am under conviction about my merciless heart, I wrestle this question: If God is faithful to Himself considering the price He paid to reconcile with me, how can I not be faithful to Him considering the price He paid to reconcile with my brothers and sisters?

While I can never repay my Savior for what He sacrificed for me, I must certainly sacrifice by way of forgiveness for those who have hurt me. I OWE HIM THAT!

That is what is required me; to be faithful and just (meaning right) to forgive.

I might not feel merciful. But that is no excuse. Extending mercy to my brothers and sisters is primarily an act of obedience to my Lord. It is necessary for my relationship with Him to be made right, before it is about them and those relationships to be made right.

At that point, I committed to turning it over to God. I surrendered intellectually, even though my heart was heavy with the weight of the burden. Then came something awesome. The Spirit of God gave me serene peace about the situation and the strength to give up the fight and to let go of the pain I had experienced for several months. It was gone! I had forgiven them, sincerely from my heart. It had no bearing on me whether these people I had felt wronged by were repentant or not. That would be between them and God.

So, I did it that very day; a cold Sunday in January. In separate opportunities, I went to each of them individually as soon as I could. I told them I was sorry… without any qualifiers. The response was incredible. Not simply the response to my words, which was pretty cool; but there was a sustained response to the problem, even though my repentant words to them made no mention of the problem I had (with them). Neither of them said to me, “I’m sorry too.” By then, I didn’t need that. It was clear they each had a problem with me. My attitude toward them had been ugly and ungodly. I was truly sorry for that. God had showered me with all of the mercy and the grace I needed.

The issues surrounding the immense conflict resolved themselves in a number of ways. The problems were no longer problems; not just because I perceived the problem differently, or was merely given enough ‘grace’ to cope, becoming more tolerant and accepting. Things changed! Really! Attitudes were different and better. Altogether, we shared in an authentic grace experience. It was a marvelous thing. To this day, I doubt they know much how miraculous this expression of God’s grace was.

I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 (NLT)

What I tend to battle against when it comes to faith isn’t what I believe God can do. I believe in that from my deepest intellectual sensibilities. I combat emotionally in my spirit doubt about God will do. There lies the spiritual conflict for me.

But God is good all of the time!

We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 (NLT)

The Spirit of mercy that He imparted to me put my soul at rest. God’s love healed me.

This cycle now continues for me. It is now a way of life. I will get unreasonably angry and resentful still. But now I have an escape. I have to find the book on the shelf that gains me access to the mysterious passage into God’s healing grace. The Word of God is my path to Him. My ABC recovery from resentment and ill-willed feelings is an ongoing movement within me. My emotional well-being is manageable in God’s hands.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

The Call

If you have read all of this and you are here, then you are likely mindfully drawn into a circumstance and relationship(s) that is troubling you.

I can do nothing on my own. I judge as God tells me. Therefore, my judgment is just, because I carry out the will of the one who sent me, not my own will. John 5:30 (NLT)

Do what Jesus did.

A) Admit to yourself and to God that you are powerless on your own to the change that is needed.

B) Believe in what God can do in the matter, starting with what God can do in you, even if you doubt emotionally in what God will do.

C) Commit to trusting in what you believe God can do and surrender your life, which includes your circumstances and relationships, into His care His way.

Confess to God your sin. Pray for a spirit of repentance to receive forgiveness. Pray for peace. Pray for the healing of your heart. Pray for an attitude of surrender to let it go. Pray for a spirit of mercy to forgive as an expression of worship to the one who has paid the price to forgive you.

Now, let go and give God all that burdens you. Then wait for God to communicate to your mind and heart what is next for you to do, or not to do. Let God go to work and do what only He can do. Be washed clean in the righteousness of your Savior, Jesus Christ. Soak yourself in His love.

See if God’s grace is sufficient for you.

“When you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.” Matthew 6:6 (NLT), The Words of Jesus

The Harsh Reality

Please know that there is the flipside to forgiveness, that is unforgiving and merciless. Unforgiving grudges, unrelenting resentment and bitterness, and preoccupations with vengeance fueling some persistent pursuit to get even, do not reflect the love, nor even the life of God from within.

I will leave you with the following Scripture from the disciple Jesus loved.

¹⁴ If we love our brothers and sisters who are believers, it proves that we have passed from death to life. But a person who has no love is still dead. ¹⁵ Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them.

¹⁶ We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?

¹⁸ Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. ¹⁹ Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. ²⁰ Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.

²¹ Dear friends, if we don’t feel guilty, we can come to God with bold confidence. 1 John 3:14-21 (NLT)

Come to Your Senses (Restorative Recovery)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project and NLX 101…

If you haven’t already, I recommend that you read the articles posted to FFMP entitled, Guilt and Shame, Scabs and Scars and Caged by Shame. These articles speak to the matter of guilt and shame and the differences between them. Guilt can be a vehicle for restored health by recognizing mistakes, learning from them, and taking responsibility to initiate changes and implement healthy disciplines for the purpose of repentance and growth. Shame, on the other hand, is the device of our internal self-centered devices, as well as a primary vehicle of our spiritual adversary to drive us into ourselves, internalizing our flaws and failures, and even the circumstances in our world to somehow define us to the point that we buy in to irrational beliefs about it all. Shame is the driving force behind self-condemnation that ultimately debilitates and ruins us.    

 

Jesus knew this matter of self-condemnation would be a problem for us so he told us about a very wealthy father who had two sons. One of his son’s became uncomfortable with all that he had, and the way things were, and chose to leave and do his own thing his own way. He asked his dad if he could receive right now the inheritance that he would receive when his father died. Then, he thought he would have it all, everything he needed, and he would not be uncomfortable. Besides, money and possessions would mean power and control. Driven by an escalated sense of entitlement, the son would be able to do what he wanted, when he wanted to do it, without anyone telling him what to do. He wanted the control of his own life and destiny, motivated by discontentment, in order to minimize his discomfort.   

 

Jesus said, “A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Give the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.” Luke 15:11-13 (NKJV)  

 

“I was so obsessed with me and the reasons that I might be dissatisfied that I couldn’t focus on other people… What I trace this to is a certain selfishness on my part.” —Barack Obama

The son left his family, and everything that was good, well, and secure, to go do his own thing. The problem, though, was that all this power and control was as addictive then as it is today. He could not stop once his brain was fueled by lust and greed and put into drive. It took more of his self-centered pursuits in an addictive lifestyle to overcome discomfort and dissatisfaction. This young adult man was so obsessed with the reasons of his dissatisfaction and repeatedly made destructive lifestyle choices necessary to conquer his problem. The Bible says he wasted what he had on “prodigal” living, including his participation in drunken sexual escapades with prostitutes.   

 

Words that describe “prodigal” living are: wayward, meaningless, self-indulgent, riotous, corrupt, wasteful, reckless, uncontrolled, degenerate, immoral, wicked, and depraved, to name a few. These words might also be descriptive of lifestyle patterns of our addictive behavior from lifestyle choices to address our obsession with dissatisfaction.

But then this son began to squander and lose everything he had and was lost in the cycle of addictive living. There are those stuck in addiction that know exactly what I am talking about, and others in recovery from addiction that know exactly what I am talking about. As we become more and more indulgent in addictive behavior, it develops into a lifestyle and the problems mount and life becomes a continuous struggle just to survive. Self-indulgent, reckless behavior may appear to be a good time at the beginning, but as it becomes a pattern of behavior and evolves into a lifestyle, the trappings of an uncontrolled addictive lifestyle and culture creep in a little at a time until they take over, and the addictive lifestyle costs outweigh its benefits.

This is what the lost son in the Bible came to understand as well. Not only did he experience the direct effects of an addictive lifestyle that contributed to his destruction in life, but there was an occurrence that came out of left field that he did not expect. He had already run low on his resources when a famine hit the land and wiped out whatever resources he had left.

“But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country who sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods (husks, shells) that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything. Luke 15:14-16 (NKJV)  

  

Addicts in pain understand that this is how it is. It’s bad enough that our behavior as self-absorbed addicts has its direct effects but then we often find ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time and it goes from bad to worse and then even worse. For the lost prodigal son that Jesus was talking about, a famine had hit the area where he made his home at the worst possible time, and it left him with nothing. He had to get a job caring for the pigs of an acquaintance. He could not even afford to eat the same “food” that he fed those pigs.    

 

When he was with his dad, he had it all. His father was a wealthy man who treated his sons well and blessed them from the love in his heart that a father has for his sons. When this son ran off with his portion of his father’s wealth without the loving guidance of his father, he couldn’t handle it. He took what was meant for good and chose unwisely and poorly, resulting in his undoing.  

 

Do you remember that Adam and Eve had it all, everything in the garden God provided them, but became uncomfortable when it was brought to their attention that they could have more? Do you remember that they essentially wanted the one thing that God had that in their hands would be their doom? God knew what they could not handle. They chose unwisely and poorly, and it was their undoing. Jesus tells this story of a man that bit a lot more than what he could chew, and, like Adam and Eve, what he bit into got the best of him, almost killing him.   

 

Listen to what Jesus says about this young man who lost everything and how his father responded.

 

“But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food enough to spare, and I perish with hunger? I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against God and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.’ And he arose and went to his father.

But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had great compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father I have sinned against God and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.” Luke 15:17-24 (NKJV)

 

Here is an opportunity to introduce the ABC principles of recovery right here in this wonderful story of the activation of the promise of God to empower us in recovery when we admit, believe, and commit. These are the necessary steps to help us recognize the responsibility for our mistakes, for which we are indeed guilty. Once we come to believe that the one we are responsible to, loves us enough to forgive us, it becomes bearable to admit our mistakes without the hopeless shame we tend to link with our failures—failed expectations.

 

Admit – The son admitted his way of handling what his father had given him did not work. The Bible says he came to his senses. I believe the son hit rock bottom and hurt bad enough to seek help. I suppose there was a period of ambivalence where he may have been conflicted between the pleasure he experienced with his booze, drugs and women; and the life of peace and stability he could have if he turned from his ways and returned to what he knew was of greater benefit. This really hit home with him when he realized that even his dad’s hired help had been better cared for than the care he was getting on his own (Luke 15:17).  

 

Believe – The son believed that his father could care for him in a way that no one else could and that the only resolution to his mess was to return to his dad, admit that he blew it, and ask for forgiveness in the hope that his father would indeed forgive him (Luke 15:17-18). He believed that becoming dependent on his father was his only real hope for a new life of recovery. He believed in his heart (his gut, his inner man) that his dad’s way worked.   

 

Commit – The son did not just talk about what he needed to do to be restored by his father into a place of recovery, rather he committed himself to doing it. He left the addictive lifestyle that left him hungry and devastated, and returned to the one who could rescue him from himself. In fact, he committed to the care and also the will of his father, when he said, “Make me like one of your servants.” (Luke 15:19) The son was humbled and willing to do whatever it took to be successful in his recovery. Truth be told, he did what he had to do for a meal. But recovery was the payoff.

Best Robe – Upon arriving, the father immediately had his servants bring his son the best robe. The best robe in this story represents the robe of righteousness.The father was committed to helping in his son’s recovery. The son was lost in his own choices and behavior. He was dead in his shame. His father expressed compassionate mercy becoming reconciled with his son by covering him with his own righteousness. In other words, it was the goodness of the father that made his son good. The son would no longer carry the weight of his shame since his father removed it and replaced it with his goodness. The best robe of righteousness that Father God has put on us to cover our sin is his son, Jesus Christ. We wear the righteousness of Jesus when we return to our Father who is in heaven. 

 

Signet Ring – The father then ordered that a ring be placed on his son’s finger. The ring was a signet ring that meant that the son was restored into the family once again as an heir to his father’s estate. This is an astounding statement of a father’s love for his son—“Everything that is mine is yours, my son”. Everything the father owned would once again be inherited by his son now that the son’s debt of disobedience was forgiven. This reconciliation meant that there was full recovery of their relationship.

 

Sandals – The son arrived barefoot and his dad had the servants put sandals on his feet. Only permanent members of the family wore sandals, while the employees were barefoot in the master’s house. The sandals were a symbol of affirmation that the young man was back home. He no longer was the lost son—the dead son—but was alive. He was the found son. He was family.

 

Feast – Finally, the father told his servants to kill and prepare the fatted calf for a feast. This meant that they would be celebrating a very special occasion. The father proclaimed with joy, “My son was dead (in his independence from the father) and is alive again (in his dependence on the father). He was lost (in addictive shame) and now is found (in relationship). Let’s celebrate!” (Luke 15:24).

 

The point of this story is to recognize that Jesus is talking about our relationship with God. We are born into this world with the opportunity to submit to God in the person of Jesus Christ who has it all, and desires to show his favor on us and bless us with the riches of heaven. He wants us to be full of life. So why do we continually squander what God desires for us when we determine to live life our own way in an effort to minimize our discontented mindset? Why do we fall prey to selfish sin, and allow it to take hold of us?   

 

We have a fallen nature prone to addictive sin—the logical cause and effect of compensating for our dissatisfaction and the failed expectations we have of ourselves. It takes over our lifestyle until it finally ruins us and we hit bottom. When we finally hurt badly enough, we might just admit that we are powerless and are resigned to die in our shame. We must reach out to God who loves us more than we can know. He is compassionate, always faithful to forgive us and give us a shot at a new life through his plan of recovery, which begins by restoring us into relationship with him. Our way of thinking leads to disorder (James 3:16) and emptiness, while God’s way of recovery leads to peace and fulfillment. When we finally comprehend that letting go of our failed expectations means submitting to the will of our Sympathetic Savior Jesus Christ, we can know that he has set our captive hearts free. It is in submitting to recovery God’s way that we can finally realize freedom.     

 

God cannot wait to set us free. He wants to set you free from your addiction to you. When he receives us back into his family, he showers us with his incredible love through blessings from heaven. Whenever one who was lost returns home to the family, there is a party in heaven. It is at home that we are free. All that is his is ours, freely given by him.

 

“I say to you there is joy in heaven in the presence of angels over one sinner who repents.” Luke 15:10 (NKJV)  

 

Permanent of God’s family

One fact validated by the words of Jesus Christ himself is that he has the authority to set us free once and for all and that we are adopted into his family permanently. God has adorned you and me with the robe of Christ’s righteousness. He has placed the ring of the inheritance of the full blessings of heaven onto our fingers, and has placed sandals on our feet, spiritually speaking, as indicative of our position as permanent members of the family of God. Jesus said,   

 

“A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” John 8:35-36 (NLT)  

 

Our problem is that we don’t readily accept that we are slaves of anything until we are wiped out by it, and drowning in the wake of its shame. Receive this word today. Let it resonate with you. Freedom comes from knowing Jesus. He has liberated us from a life of addiction to sin and shame. Quit crawling back into the cage of shame clinging to the memories and methods of your past. Let it go. Let go of failed expectations and reach out to Jesus. Let him heal your wounds. His expectation for you is that you receive forgiveness from him and live with peace and joy in his grace.   

 

We all eventually understand the reality of hell we are living in. The prodigal son from the Bible came to believe in hell when his circumstances deteriorated to the extent that he was coveting the food he was feeding pigs. He knew hell when he had lost everything due to his addiction to overcoming dissatisfaction.  

 

The point is that it does us absolutely no good not to give your shame to Jesus Christ to free you from it. Let the price that Jesus paid for your addictive sin be enough. Receive his forgiveness and be free to start a new life. Be willing to let go of all of it and let God love you. Submit your life to his compassionate mercy. Let go and let Jesus take you upward from your hell into a new stable life of peace, freedom, and joy.   

 

Justified… Just if I’d Never Needed a Root Canal

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project… My wife read to me the passage below from the book of Acts and suggested that I write about it… So I did. All Scripture is from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.

Feels like a failure, I am rotting in decay deep into the root of who I am. I need a root canal to remove the nerve.

God raised him from the dead so that he will never be subject to decay…I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you… Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin. Acts 13:34, 38

Most of my clients struggle mightily with the issue of guilt, remorse, and regret for so much wrong and evil they have perpetrated in their lives; and against so many people affected by their actions. The man who is really working to change his future in recovery finds himself battling the past and the present in order to even begin his journey into his future. He is a drug dealer, home invader, burglar, street thug, and in some cases, worse. The man that has returned to God through relationship with Jesus has this abscess protruding from his being; he calls it shame. Like rotting tooth decay, the only way to alleviate the disease caused by an overtly sinful lifestyle, he somehow needs to drill deep into the root of his problem to kill the nerve and drain the abscess. The abscess will not on its own drain. It swells out of control.

When it comes to his family, his loved ones see the worst in him again and again and again. He is drunk and high; he is verbally, physically, and emotionally abusive; he is psychologically dominating; he is up to what he is usually up to and then… BOOOOOM! He’s locked up for years. He is humbled by his circumstances, living in a bathroom with another smelly man he doesn’t know, separated by everyone he loves, and now sober in prison, fully aware and emotionally raw and exposed for who he is and what he has done.

The man is able to have articulate conversations with his new “friends”. He is typically angry, mostly at himself, but he is rational and usually considerate. He is sitting in a therapy group for a few hours everyday putting it out there and giving it away. When he is on the phone or in the visiting room with his loved ones… wife, girlfriend, mom, dad, grandma, and especially his kids… he is gracious and loving, kind and giving. He is at his best. As his therapist, one question I ask the man is, “Why is it that those you love only get to see you at your best when you are in jail? Why is it that your prison buddies get your best and not those you love and who love you?” That’s been the pattern. He’s at his best in jail, and then when he gets out and goes home, he returns to the hustle; right back into the mess. He is abusive and hostile to those he loves. Why not give them his best from home… why only at his best in prison?

Perhaps one of the reasons for his failures outside of prison is that psychologically and spiritually he continues to be imprisoned; imprisoned by guilt and shame that leads to all sorts of the other issues and addictions that can enslave a person. It is necessary to see life and the world through a new set of lenses, because if he could see the forest for the trees maybe he wouldn’t keep running head on into the trees. For now, his eyes are caked with mud. He wants what is right and best but he is blind and in search of a safe place to step. He feels like he is still rotting in decay deep into the root of who he is. He is caught up in what he has done, what has been done to him, and is believing the lie that what he has done defines who he is. He has discovered that his twisted values have defined his standard of morality and he is not at all comfortable with that. He wants to change what he believes so that his values are defined by a much higher standard of morality, rooted in truth and love and all that is right and good.

The man is troubled by his sense of identity as to who and what he is. His identity is based on what he has done as the villain, along with what he has endured growing up as the victim of abuse and hostility. There will need to be healing and deliverance, a time for mourning and grieving, some time for processing guilt and shame, and a period for amends and restoration. It will be a project and a miracle for this man to take on the identity as a child of God redeemed for each and every transgression. It won’t be easy to accept that the slate has been wiped clean and he gets to start anew, according to God’s purpose and plan for his life.

Then he (the thief) said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:42-43

Even though his sins may on the surface appear to be more blatantly hostile and disobedient to the purposes of God than mine may appear to be, they are no less wrong, and no less evil compared to the moral standard of godliness. He doesn’t need grace—the undeserved favor of God—any more or less than I do; or than you do. Yet that is where grace comes in and is applied.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.
Romans 5:1-2

If what Paul wrote to the Romans is true, then why don’t I feel at peace? Why I am so ashamed of myself? My unrighteousness affects and hurts other people as well as myself. As I come under conviction considering how severely I have hurt others, especially to those I love and who love me, it causes me pain. I am wrought with guilt and shame. I am compelled to make amends with those I have wronged and wounded. How do I say I am sorry for something I have repeated so often? I don’t think I can. Why would they receive my amends? Why would they forgive me? How can anyone forgive me? Most certainly, how can a just God forgive me? I do not deserve that anyone have mercy on me; especially not God if He truly loves those whom I have harmed repeatedly.

O Lord, don’t rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your rage! Your arrows have struck deep, and your blows are crushing me. Because of your anger, my whole body is sick; my health is broken because of my sins. My guilt overwhelms me—it is a burden too heavy to bear. My wounds fester and stink because of my foolish sins. I am bent over and racked with pain. All day long I walk around filled with grief. A raging fever burns within me, and my health is broken. I am exhausted and completely crushed. My groans come from an anguished heart. You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh. My heart beats wildly, my strength fails, and I am going blind. My loved ones and friends stay away, fearing my disease. Even my own family stands at a distance. The cry of King David, Psalm 38:1-11 (NLT)

One problem I might have is that even as God reaches out to me to help me to change, as broken as I am, I tend to resist Him in the way that I only want God to change me where I hurt. If I have an alcohol or drug problem I want for God to deliver me from drinking so much or from needing to use drugs. If I have an anger problem, I need him to help me not to act out or be abusive when I am angry. If I am sick I need God to help me feel better. If I have had my heart broken I will ask God to help me to move on. But God wants to do so much more. He created me and He loves me. He sent His Son to die for me so that all of the broken places in me that are dying will heal and be transformed into something new. God loves all of me, more of me than merely where it hurts.

“When I was a child I often had a toothache, and I knew if I went to my mother she would give me something which would deaden the pain for that night and let me get to sleep. But I did not go to my mother—at least not until the pain became very bad. And the reason I did not go was this: I did not doubt that she would give the aspirin; but I knew she would also do something else. I knew she would make me go to the dentist the next morning. I could get what I wanted out of her without getting something more, which I did not want. I wanted immediate relief from pain, but I could not get it without having my teeth set permanently right. And I knew those dentists. I knew they started fiddling about with all sorts of other teeth which had not yet begun to ache.”
—C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

In my article, “Under the Influence”, I wrote the following response to C.S. Lewis:

“When you live under the influence of Jesus Christ in your life He is like the dentist. When you are submitted to the transformed life under His influence, God will go beyond the place in your life that aches. He will “fiddle about with all sorts of other teeth” because He knows that these are places that need His touch or they will become even more infected until you cannot move because of the pain and difficulty. What God does is take the things that are old and dying, and transforms them into something new and full of life, beyond what you even know to want for yourself.”

Here’s the deal. I have been justified by faith in relationship with Jesus Christ, as have you if you believe. It is a done deal. Yes, the event of the sacrifice of Jesus, but He did not endure all that he did so that I would continue to wallow in guilt and shame. He went through all that He did so that I would live in peace and joy full of love in my heart.

The definition of justify is as follows:

• To demonstrate or prove to be just, right, or valid;
• To declare free of blame; absolve;
• To be free of the guilt and penalty attached to grievous sin.

So to be justified by faith in relationship with Christ is to be made right in relationship with Christ. To be justified by faith in relationship with Christ is to be absolved, declared free of blame in relationship with Christ. Jesus Christ has set you and me free of the guilt and penalty attached to grievous sin. This is our hope in relationship with Jesus. The Bible declares that through the sacrifice of His Son, God has declared us innocent of unrighteousness and so it is “just-if-I’d” never sinned at all, and “just-if-I” never sin again. I am justified by faith. Without faith I will continue in hopeless shame walking aimlessly in the guilt of my transgressions, according to me; not according to the Word of God.

Even King David understood this. This man deemed “a man after God’sown heart” struggled with sin, much of what anyone would consider to be evil and disgusting, including betrayal, adultery, other forms of sexual sin, and murder. Yet whenever David repented, he recognized that as a king, the only real consequence of his sin that really mattered was spiritual and eternal. He did harm to a lot of people but it was only sin against the One who judges sin.

Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.
Psalm 51:4

David understood that no matter how egregious his sin, once he confessed his sin it was over. His intention was repentance, to turn away from his sin in pursuit of righteousness. When you read through the Psalms you even get the impression that David understood the grace coming through the promised Messiah, as if he had a deep and uniquely personal relationship with God the Son (who wouldn’t be called Jesus until He was revealed in the flesh as a human being). It can be difficult to understand how David could continue in his sin while he had such intimacy in relationship with God—that is until I consider that it isn’t so difficult for me to continue in my sin considering my relationship with God and that, for some reason strange to me, He has chosen to communicate truth to thousands of people through me, ever the hypocrite.

“The Lord rewarded me for doing right; he restored me because of my innocence… I am blameless before God; I have kept myself from sin. The Lord rewarded me for doing right. He has seen my innocence.” 2 Samuel 22:21, 24-25

Considering the hedonistic lifestyle of the king at the expense of so many people, including loved ones, David’s proclamation of innocence sounds arrogant, if not inaccurate. David even suggested that he had not violated any of God’s laws. The promise and hope of grace was so realized in the forgiven spirit of David that he believed in the promise that his sins had been removed as far as the east is from the west.

But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.
1 John 1:9 (NLT)

For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. For Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are.
Psalm 103:11-14 (NLT)

Apparently, David had deep insight into the truth about justification in his relationship with God, and as I suggested, deeply engaged with the Spirit of the Son of God. According to God’s Word, the hope of the promise good for David—that he was set free and no longer subject to decay unto death, is just as good, relevant, and applicable for you and for me.

We tell you the good news: What God promised our ancestors he has fulfilled for us, their children, by raising up Jesus. As it is written in the second Psalm: “You are my son; today I have become your father.” God raised him from the dead so that he will never be subject to decay. As God has said, “I will give you the holy and sure blessings promised to David.” So it is also stated elsewhere: “You will not let your holy one see decay.” Now when David had served God’s purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his ancestors and his body decayed. But the one whom God raised from the dead did not see decay. Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses. Acts 13:32-39

If I am no longer subject to decay as consequence of my sin (it’s no longer mine since Jesus took ownership of it), why would I think and behave as though I am decaying? If the root of the nerve from sin in my life has already been deadened by the merciful grace of God, why would I be thinking that I still need a root canal to deaden the nerve? That is what I do when I resist the reality of the mercy of God because what I have done is so awful that I have determined that even God can not possibly forgive me since I have disqualified myself from being loved by Him.

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:5-8

What is left for you and for me is to let go of what is no longer ours to begin with. Jesus took our sin and disposed of it through His sacrifice… before we were born to commit sin in the first place. To hold on to my guilt is actually a matter of pride. It is selfish, not humble, to continue to wallow in the mire of guilt. What feeds into feeling guilty is the weight of still sinning. That is the power of justification. We are already forgiven for sin we have yet to commit. It isn’t a license to sin, but it is a kind of insurance policy, if you will.

Jesus found him… and told him, “Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.” John 5:14

When in a relationship with Jesus Christ, while I may continue to sin, I am under conviction and will confess my sin with the intention of repenting of it. Why do I say ‘intention’? I suppose it’s an admission that my repentant mindset and behavior isn’t as consistent as I wish it was. The problem with the man Jesus healed in John chapter five (the man couldn’t walk) is that he may have been engaging in sinful behavior with a heart that was hostile to the will of God, in betrayal against having relationship with Him. What God wants with us is relationship. In relationship with God we will appreciate the loving kindness that affords us grace and mercy. If that were the case with the man who’d been healed of paralysis, perhaps he would have shown more appreciation for what Christ had done for him.

The same can be said for experiencing God’s forgiveness. The incarcerated men I work with experience something powerful as the stream of God’s forgiveness courses through their being. Their issue with guilt doesn’t resist it because by then they are overcome by love. It is a force by then that the hardest of criminals can’t help but immerse themselves into the love they have longed for all of their lives. These men seem to appreciate the forgiveness of their Savior so much more acutely and deeply than I seem to.

36 When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 37 A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. 38 As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. 39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.” 40 Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.” “Tell me, teacher,” he said.

41 “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.

44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”

48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” 49 The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?” 50 Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” Luke 7:36-47

Whether a prisoner like my clients, a murderous adulterer like David, or someone like you or me, we have been forgiven the same. We have all been justified by faith no matter our sin. Since some feel emotionally like a greater weight has been lifted, they will perhaps have a greater sense of gratitude. The person rescued from certain death might be more grateful than the person spared a little harm, even though the harm would have led to something fatal. That feeling of gratitude, whether intense or casual tends to mask the fact that we have all actually been rescued from certain death because of Christ’s sacrifice.

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.
Romans 6:1-2, 6-7

The promise is that having been justified by faith, I can now live by faith that I have been acquitted of a lifetime of sinful thinking and behavior. I have sinned against God and God alone. He sent His son to take possession—ownership—of my sin and then through great sacrifice disposed of it. God looks upon me and sees Jesus resurrected, innocent and blameless, holy and made perfect. It’s not even up to me except to accept his mercy as oh so real and true. What is up to me is to have faith in the facts. I choose to embrace this truth. As I come to believe more fully in God as my higher power restoring me, surrendered daily to living out His purpose for me, then I can begin to reach out to those I have harmed and begin the process of reconciliation and hopefully restoration.

What about you? Let go, today, of what isn’t yours. Accept that you are no longer subject to decay. In Christ, you’re not breaking down, you’re being regenerated and built up. That is freedom that comes through the reality of experiencing the empowerment of a justified life.

He (Abraham) did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why “it was credited to him as righteousness.” The words “it was credited to him” were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. Romans 4:20-25

Caged by Shame (Redemptive Healing)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

The two-headed enemy of recovery is our sin nature and the devil himself. This enemy had a baby, and called it ‘shame’. Shame sets out to hold recovering sin addicts in captivity. Shame is a sinister device of the devil that fans the flame of slavery to addictive sin and all of its consequences. As we determine to hold on to memories of the past that lead to our sorrow, the result is the sabotage of restorative recovery. There is no doubt that we have all made mistakes and need to claim responsibility for our behavior. However, there needs to be a clear distinction between guilt, which when addressed properly can lead to repentance and growth; and shame, which takes self-obsessed addicts into a cycle of failure that is ultimately fatal. Shame is the filter that distorts thoughts and feelings leading to destructive behavior and harmful consequences.

I treated a client that I will call Deloris, who was sexually and emotionally abused in her pre-adolescent years. She had been bound up for years with bitterness and unforgiveness due to the horrific memories that had caused her deep indelible pain, leaving her with open wounds for more than twenty years. Over the course of a year or so, Deloris had been drinking hard liquor heavily on a daily basis. She effectively hid her alcohol use so that her family did not know the severity of her problem. Her husband did not comprehend that his wife had this secret.

Her painful past made it difficult to be vulnerable to the people she loved. In moments when she would relive memories of her past in her thoughts, Deloris would tend to take it out on whoever came into her path. As she spent more time struggling with memories, she drank to numb the pain brought on by bitter hateful feelings leading to vengeful thoughts and verbally abusive behavior. She vented her inner rage on people mercilessly about things that did not matter much. Deloris hated that she did this to people who had nothing to do with her past. Alcohol became a friend to her. Drinking seemed to help for a spell, but she was becoming more and more stuck in the addictive process of self-medicating trying to minimize whatever pain she was feeling so that she might not inflict so much pain on those she cared about.

While in treatment, Deloris and her family bought a dog, a cute little puppy I’ll call Candi. She was thrilled to be able to love and care for Candi. Deloris had not had a drink in almost three weeks since beginning treatment, but remaining sober was difficult. Treatment was intense. Candi, this new friend in Deloris’s life, gave her something else to do to occupy idle time. However, Candi had a problem. This puppy relieved herself constantly and would make messes all over Deloris’s house. They would let Candi outside to do her business, but then when she came back in they had to keep her in a cage so that she would not make that kind of mess all over the house. The puppy still managed to mess up her cage, which did not adequately contain her mess, and which seemed to spread through the cage onto the kitchen floor, cabinets, etc. Even after making her mess outside, she came back in and promptly went another round while in her cage. Deloris reported that, while her husband and pre-adolescent son were patient and understanding, they agreed as a family that it was all quite disgusting. As much as Deloris loved her pup, her nerves were wearing thin. She was constantly cleaning up after the dog’s mess. Anyone who attempted to get involved with cleaning Candi’s mess tended to get messed up as well.

After a week or two of this pattern of Candi messing herself up and everyone else who got in her way, Deloris and her husband decided to get rid of the cage to see how Candi might manage without the cage. Candi immediately stopped relieving herself in the house after doing her business outside. It turns out that the only time Candi made messes in the house around the family was when she faced the prospect of having to re-enter her cage. When Deloris and her husband got rid of Candi’s cage, she was rid of the mess. Getting rid of the cage, though, was not easy. It required risk, which involved a process of letting go of what seemed to be their only means of containing the mess from spreading through the house.

This discovery led to a therapeutic revelation in treatment. Deloris was making a mess whenever she re-entered the cage of her past. When she dwelled on a feeling linked to a painful memory, Deloris made a mess on herself and on anyone else who happened to be around while she was in her cage of painful memories. Anyone who thought they could help her while she was in her cage would get messed on as my client relieved herself, metaphorically speaking of course, all over them, including her husband and son.

While in treatment, Deloris realized she needed to ask God to help her to let go of the shame of her past and exit her cage of shame. Deloris would always remember her past, but God could and is helping her to let go of the ongoing bitterness and anger that she’s been carrying. She was also holding onto the shame of things that she was led to believe about herself. Our last session was the week of Good Friday and we were able to focus on letting go of something she was powerless to manage on her own, and allow Jesus Christ to take it to the cross with him, so she could be free to live and love those who have faithfully loved her through such a difficult time in her life.

As you recognize you are powerless to change the past and are able let go of the thing that has imprisoned you, and trust God to release you from your cage of shame, he promises to fill the void. The love, peace, and joy of God can replace the pain of your past. You are allowed to make mistakes with knowledge and understanding that you are forgiven. When the love of God is alive in you, you can experience conviction in your heart that helps you to learn and grow from a mistake, even a painful mistake.

Restoration Trifecta (Peter’s Restored)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

After we have been dirty for awhile we can trust that Jesus will wash us clean. He even forgets about our sinful behavior. We can as much as deny Jesus Christ by the way we live yet can know that when we repent of our sin and return to Jesus that he will completely restore us.

Remember, that Peter was so devastated that his Lord (authority) and Savior (deliverer) was about to die, that he denied even knowing Jesus when asked specifically about that relationship. We know today that it did not end at the cross for Peter and his countrymen and women. But in the hours and days after Jesus was crucified and buried, the hearts and souls of Peter and so many others had been drenched of all hope. Peter had to account for three years away from his wife and children following a man he believed would ascend to a place reserved for a king. But then he watched Jesus die and Peter saw his dreams die with the king. What was next for the disciples of Jesus?

Simon Peter said, “I’m going fishing.” “We’ll come, too,” they all said. So they went out in the boat, but they caught nothing all night. At dawn Jesus was standing on the beach, but the disciples couldn’t see who he was. He called out, “Fellows, have you caught any fish?” “No,” they replied. Then he said, “Throw out your net on the right-hand side of the boat, and you’ll get some!” So they did, and they couldn’t haul in the net because there were so many fish in it.

Then the disciple Jesus loved said to Peter, “It’s the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his tunic (for he had stripped for work), jumped into the water, and headed to shore. The others stayed with the boat and pulled the loaded net to the shore, for they were only about a hundred yards from shore. When they got there, they found breakfast waiting for them—fish cooking over a charcoal fire, and some bread. “Bring some of the fish you’ve just caught,” Jesus said. So Simon Peter went aboard and dragged the net to the shore. There were 153 large fish, and yet the net hadn’t torn. John 21:3-11 (NLT)

Jesus had appeared to the disciples two other times by the time of this event described by John. However, it does not appear that the disciples had an “exclusive” hold on Jesus. Perhaps he spent time with his mother and put their relationship into a more spiritual context. He would appear to hundreds of Jewish disciples over six weeks or so (forty days) before he would ascend to his position of King of kings and Lord of lords.

It also seems as though Peter had another problem. He wanted what he had with Jesus before he denied being linked with him and Jesus was crucified. Their relationship was special. Jesus had told Peter (Peter’s name is translated ‘petros’, meaning ‘the rock’) that it was him who would be central to starting the church—the family of Christ Jesus.

My friend, Pastor Fran Leeman, spoke on this subject to his church and highlighted something I found especially interesting. Peter had denied his Lord three times. His relationship with Jesus was broken for three days and nights. Peter was a broken man who had doubted the authority of God to raise Jesus to do what Jesus said he would do. It must have been difficult for Peter to celebrate Christ’s resurrection with his friends.

Then, while concluding a miserable night of fishing in which they’d caught nothing, they would hear a man yell out from the distant shore, “Hey, you might do better throwing your nets over the other side of your boat!” A familiar tone rang in Peter’s ears. When they began hauling in so many fish they could hardly get them on board, Peter knew it was his time—the moment he had been waiting for. Peter leapt into the sea and swam to shore where Jesus had breakfast waiting for him. Jesus had deliberately sought Peter out the same way he had done so three years previous. Jesus called on Peter three times to declare his love for his Lord and three times issued his challenge to Peter to lead the people of Jesus, which is the church, the family or community of God (John 21:15-17).

Jesus fully restored Peter in a way as to leave no doubt that nothing had changed, except for one thing. Now, Peter and his friends lived in the authority of who they knew was Jesus Christ resurrected. Pastor Leeman spoke of the 153 fish caught that morning. Peter denied Christ three times and his restoration seems to have come in threes. If you multiply each number within the number 153 (one, five, and three) by itself three times—the power of three, it totals 153 (1x1x1=1; 5x5x5=125; 3x3x3=27). I doubt John considered that as he wrote it. Is it merely a coincidence? Perhaps. What do you think?

I cannot escape the unveiled profoundness of the power of three as it relates to the capture of the 153 fish. God is acutely aware of the abilities, talents, and passions that he has imparted to each one of us as he has wonderfully made us. I don’t know that Jesus was asking Peter to give up the thing he was so good at and enjoyed so very much. I believe Jesus needed for Peter to recognize that he is empowered by God; to love the gift giver more than the gift (“these” gifts).

Jesus sympathizes with our weakness. Because Jesus knew weakness physically, cognitively, and even spiritually as a human being, he knows precisely how we hurt and are wounded and broken. He knows us, intimately. We cannot hide a single thing from him. The thing is, is that he does not force himself in. Sometimes, when we are lost at sea, he calls out to us from the shore, “Cast your nets out into the deep.” Are you listening for his voice? Do you hear him calling out to you? Or, do you reply back to God, “I have been trying and trying and nothing works!” He calls out to you again, “Go deeper! Trust me!” Joel Osteen once said that it is when we are willing to go into the deep until we’re in over our heads that, as we trust God and reach up to him, that he will extend his hand to us. It is then that we will be blessed and prosper in our circumstances as he provides.

Let Jesus who knows you so well—way beyond what you know about yourself—completely restore you, help you and empower you in your circumstances. Seek not the gifts but the gift giver. Trust God to reshape you and your talents and passions into the things he can use through you to advance the purposeful plans he has for you. Open the door to God to reshape the best of all that you are and do from the best that he has for you. Let him, from the bounty of his unlimited resources, impart unto you his best. As for your weaknesses and limitations, trust God to strengthen you. Be encouraged that he can and will should you let him. For where and when you are weak, he is certainly strong.

Let him partner with you in all your relationships. Jesus is your Savior (redeemer) and Lord (authority) whether you believe it or not. Since he has the authority as Lord anyway, why not submit to his authority? Climb out of the boat that is your comfort zone, let Jesus wash your dirty feet clean, and then walk on the water with him. Open the door of your heart to him. Scripture tells us that he knocks at the door of our hearts and wants us to dine with him. From the passage we have observed in John 21, we can be assured that the coals are warm and the meal—God’s provision—has already been prepared and Jesus Christ is waiting to share that meal with us from the bounty of all that he is and has for us.

A Man After God’s Own Heart: David’s Story of Addiction, Repentance, Redemption & Restoration

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

“It’s long, but it’s worth the read to the one who will take the time. It is admirable that you took on David’s sexual addiction head-on, whereas most Bible scholars seem to treat the polygamy of the monarchy as a sort of sexual “grace period” in the otherwise monogamous command of God.” —Pastor Fran Leeman, Chicago (Plainfield), Ilinois

The LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler of his people. 1 Samuel 13:14

After removing Saul, he made David their king. God testified concerning him: ‘I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.’ Acts 13:22

Like anyone else, King David of the Bible suffered from a cunning, baffling disease known as addiction—addiction to self. Borne out of addiction to self comes all other symptoms of addiction. David strayed from the truth of what he understood intellectually to be good and right according to the will of God. Lost was the innocence of the young warrior who killed a lion to protect his sheep, and took down a giant of a man to defend a nation. Even with the anointing and power and all of the blessing bestowed on him by his Heavenly Father, David grew in pride and selfish ambition, overrun by his sin nature, rooted in a core belief of entitlement in his flesh. David would have to submit one day at a time, even one moment at a time to the will of his Lord or David would succumb to the unimaginable temptation that would avail itself to him as the King of all Israel.

Consider the “drugs” of temptation that David had to choose from as both a king, and as a human being: sexual temptation; every form of lust, power, and greed; money and possessions; alcohol and “herbs”; anger, rage, resentment, and revenge; lying and deceit; self-preservation at all cost (even if it meant murder to protect his reputation); issues of codependency; and the list goes on. The difference for David that you and I cannot relate to is that unless he was surrendered to the will and care of God moment by moment there was no one else to tell him “no” or “stop” or “wait”. He had advisers in his ear constantly but David was the man in charge and too often ignored sound counsel.

The truth is that no matter who you are, if you are living outside of God’s perfect will and plan, then you are living according to your own desires and intentions driven by a systemic pattern of brain activity that wants what it wants when it wants it. It’s not that the self-centered brain is some monster come alive in you to do its bidding; but I suppose it’s something like that. The Apostle Paul wrote from a deeply sincere heart when he said (I’m paraphrasing Romans 7 stuff), “What I do and don’t do often goes against my God-driven conscience and I am ashamed of myself. It’s as though I’m not even the one doing it but it’s the sin in me controlling my mind and behavior. I am a slave to this thing alive in me. I am sick in it and I am sick about it.” When we put our faith in ourselves, even as we claim to put our faith in Christ, we think ambitiously, feel protective of ourselves, and behave badly and foolish. 

The primary focus of this writing is not to villianize or stigmatize King David as a sex addict but rather bring attention to the reality that deviant selfish sin is a cunning and powerful weapon against even the best of people; even “a man after God’s own heart.” People can love God deeply and intensely, yet still struggle with the addiction to self—MEdom. People can have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, according to His merciful grace, and struggle with addiction to lust, greed, and sexual sin. The key to recovery empowered by the Spirit of God happens one day at a time committed to faith-driven principles: Admit the sin by confession; Believe in the truth of redemption by a Sympathetic Savior with complete authority; and, Commit to a lifestyle of repentant recovery by turning everything over in submission to the One in authority according to that belief.

The Story Inside the Story

“How could one who was known for his devotion to God fall so horribly? What were the steps that led to his demise? David’s steps to losing his first love were subtle; but very real. When David sat on his rooftop watching Bathsheba bathe on that fateful night, he was not walking with the Lord as he once had… At this particular point in his life, we don’t read of him worshipping or singing love songs to God. David was spiritually idle.” —Pastor Greg Laurie, Harvest Ministries

The Faithful Young Man of Valor

Early on in his life, David was the boy, and then the young man, that was too good of a kid to be brassy enough to someday be king. David was one of those kids you kind of hope never grows up. He was innocent and you didn’t want growing up to ruin that. He was compassionate, and the Bible called him good looking. The King James translation suggests David had a “beautiful countenance”, likely a reflection of a good-natured heart (disposition). David was a skilled musician. He had a way about him. He was also courageous and strongly determined when he put his mind to something. He was also skilled at tending sheep. He was the kind of teenager, then young adult, who had that moxy, that special something that you can’t quite put your finger on exactly what it is but you know when someone’s got it. That was David.

One of the servants said to Saul, “One of Jesse’s sons from Bethlehem is a talented harp player. Not only that, he is a brave warrior, a man of war, and has good judgment. He is also a fine-looking young man, and the Lord is with him.”
1 Samuel 16:18 (NLT)

At a young age, David was one that worshipped God. He loved God and played his instrument to the glory of God. When Samuel (the last of the judges) was led by the Spirit of God to Jesse of Bethlehem to identify and anoint the next king of Israel, well, here’s the story…

4 So Samuel did as the Lord instructed. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town came trembling to meet him. “What’s wrong?” they asked. “Do you come in peace?”

5 “Yes,” Samuel replied. “I have come to sacrifice to the Lord. Purify yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice.” Then Samuel performed the purification rite for Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice, too.

6 When they arrived, Samuel took one look at Eliab and thought, “Surely this is the Lord’s anointed!”

7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

8 Then Jesse told his son Abinadab to step forward and walk in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, “This is not the one the Lord has chosen.” 9 Next Jesse summoned Shimea, but Samuel said, “Neither is this the one the Lord has chosen.” 10 In the same way all seven of Jesse’s sons were presented to Samuel. But Samuel said to Jesse, “The Lord has not chosen any of these.” 11 Then Samuel asked, “Are these all the sons you have?”

“There is still the youngest,” Jesse replied. “But he’s out in the fields watching the sheep and goats.”

“Send for him at once,” Samuel said. “We will not sit down to eat until he arrives.”

12 So Jesse sent for him. He was dark and handsome, with beautiful eyes.

And the Lord said, “This is the one; anoint him.”

13 So as David stood there among his brothers, Samuel took the flask of olive oil he had brought and anointed David with the oil. And the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon David from that day on. 1 Samuel 16:4-13 (NLT)

David was the youngest of Jesse’s sons and seemed very comfortable as the shepherd of sheep that also seemed to enjoy adventure from time to time. The Scriptures tell us that David killed vicious wild animals to protect his flock of sheep. He was a compassionate kid that was growing up. By the time he was in his mid to late teens, David was anointed the next king of Israel who would then be the one who would be the musician with the charge to console the down-trodden king he would replace.

Then came the signature event in the life of a young man that would prove he was indeed the man. David would be respected and recognized as a fearless leader. Stepping into the on deck circle would catch the real men of war by surprise. Even his older brothers didn’t think David should even be at the end of the bench in the dugout.

Now Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men; and Eliab’s anger was aroused against David, and he said, “Why did you come down here? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle.” And David said, “What have I done now? Is there not a cause?” 30 Then he turned from him toward another and said the same thing; and these people answered him as the first ones did. Now when the words which David spoke were heard, they reported them to Saul; and he sent for him. Then David said to Saul, “Let no man’s heart fail because of him; your servant will go and fight with this Philistine.” 1 Samuel 17:28-32 (NKJV)

The rest is history; a phenomenal feet. David would trash talk the giant Philistine soldier and then back up every word with action.

Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you. And this day I will give the carcasses of the camp of the Philistines to the birds of the air and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. Then all this assembly shall know that the Lord does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s, and He will give you into our hands.” 1 Samuel 17:45-47 (NKJV)

The only thing David cared about was bringing glory to his Lord, the great God of Israel that would go before David and the army standing behind David, leading them to victory.

It is interesting to me that King Saul put the fate of a nation into the hands of this spunky good-looking teenager. Did Saul really trust David? Did he have faith in God to use David? Or was there a back-up plan had David failed, whether it was to attack, run, or surrender? Well, no matter, because David slayed the giant with a stone and Goliath’s own sword. David would continue to love and worship God, who was indeed glorified.

2 Saul chose 3,000 elite troops from all Israel and went to search for David and his men near the rocks of the wild goats.

3 At the place where the road passes some sheepfolds, Saul went into a cave to relieve himself. But as it happened, David and his men were hiding farther back in that very cave!

4 “Now’s your opportunity!” David’s men whispered to him. “Today the Lord is telling you, ‘I will certainly put your enemy into your power, to do with as you wish.’” So David crept forward and cut off a piece of the hem of Saul’s robe.

5 But then David’s conscience began bothering him because he had cut Saul’s robe. 6 He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do this to my lord the king. I shouldn’t attack the Lord’s anointed one, for the Lord himself has chosen him.” 7 So David restrained his men and did not let them kill Saul.

After Saul had left the cave and gone on his way, 8 David came out and shouted after him, “My lord the king!” And when Saul looked around, David bowed low before him.

9 Then he shouted to Saul, “Why do you listen to the people who say I am trying to harm you? 10 This very day you can see with your own eyes it isn’t true. For the Lord placed you at my mercy back there in the cave. Some of my men told me to kill you, but I spared you. For I said, ‘I will never harm the king—he is the Lord’s anointed one.’ 11 Look, my father, at what I have in my hand. It is a piece of the hem of your robe! I cut it off, but I didn’t kill you. This proves that I am not trying to harm you and that I have not sinned against you, even though you have been hunting for me to kill me. 1 Samuel 24:2-11 (NLT)

David was then sought after by Saul, who wanted the threat to his reign killed. David was the kind of man that was so driven by the presence and power of God that even when he had opportunity to stop the manhunt by killing Saul he would not. Saul was his king and David was loyal and faithful to him. David spared his pursuers life and showed him mercy. That is what a man after God’s own heart would do. Soon enough though, after his adventures with Saul, David would become king and the story would change.

The Unfaithful Man with Power

King David, may be the most esteemed hero of the Old Testament. According to historians he lived to be around 70 years of age from 1040 to 970 BC. David was a family man. He was married to Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, Abigail the Carmelitess, Maachah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur, Haggith, Abital, Eglah, Michal, and Bathshua (Bathsheba) the daughter of Ammiel. 1 Samuel 19 also identifies Merab who was given to David by her father Saul.

David’s first wife was Michal who loved David very much (1 Samuel 18:18, 20). She was the key to David’s freedom from her father, King Saul, helping David to escape (1 Samuel 19). It is not reported that David loved Michal in return but he married her, perhaps to enhance his lineage and improve his claim to the throne. Perhaps David married her out of convenience and ambition and not love. In fact, when David married two more women, Abigail (after her first husband died, David praised God that she became eligible to be his wife) and Ahinoam, King Saul took Michal back to be married to another man, Palti, recognizing no longer her marriage to David—perhaps because Saul hated his enemy David out of jealousy (the king’s subjects adored David and placed their confidence in him), and because he understood that his daughter, Michal, was unloved and neglected by her husband.

When Saul died, David made it a point to have Michal brought back to him (2 Samuel 3:13-15) since he had paid the steep price of 100 Philistines killed by his sword for her. Michal’s new husband, Palti (according to King Saul’s “executive order” to annul her marriage to David), loved her and followed her along the way back to David weeping for her until he was sent home by David’s thugs. Anointed by God, David, a 30 year old man in the prime of his life, would become king over all of Israel. As king, David captured Jerusalem, moved into the Zion fortress, and called it the City of David. David conquered the Philistines and then gathered his troops (some 30,000 of them) to go to Baalah of Judah to retrieve the ark of the Lord, symbolic of the armies of heaven, which would proceed them into battle from that point forward.

A powerful trigger for David’s engaging in addictive behavior was victory and celebration. While David was in awe of the power of the Lord God, he was fearful of it. So much so that he did not want the ark of God in his home. For three months, David housed the ark of God at the house of a trusted friend, whom the Lord blessed richly while his friend held onto it. Then he had the ark of God returned to the palace and had it placed in a special tent. As David celebrated his triumphs with invited guests, he danced before the Lord, wearing a priestly garment that exposed his sexuality before his guests.

When David returned home to bless his own family, Michal, the daughter of Saul, came out to meet him. She said in disgust, “How distinguished the king of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do!” David retorted to Michal, “I was dancing before the Lord, who chose me above your father and all his family! He appointed me as the leader of Israel, the people of the Lord, so I celebrate before the Lord. Yes, and I am willing to look even more foolish than this, even to be humiliated in my own eyes! So Michal, the daughter of Saul, remained childless throughout her entire life.  But those servant girls you mentioned will indeed think I am distinguished!” So Michal, the daughter of Saul, remained childless throughout her entire life. 2 Samuel 6:20-23 (NLT)

David was wearing a linen undergarment, resembling an apron. It was thigh to knee length and would flop up as David danced. Did David deliberately expose himself before the servant girls? Or was David’s “nakedness” a symbol of humble worship before the Lord? Was David merely angry and used sarcasm to express his anger to Michal? Or was he making the point that he was chosen to lead? Is David’s point of appearing “distinguished” a reference to his genitalia? Or is David emphasizing that he is to be respected as God’s anointed king among the servants? Both rationales are possible depending on one’s perspective and interpretation. If the presumption is acceptable that David was obsessed with women with the authority to have any woman he wanted whenever he wanted her, it fits a pattern.

Michal at one time loved David and was happy to be married to him. However neglected by her husband David, she was given in marriage by her father to another and grew to love him. And then, reclaimed by David after her father died, she is back into marriage with a man who seems to have always had some kind of contempt for her. And there she would remain in a loveless marriage, not even with the honor of motherhood (since it is likely that her husband withheld from her his sexuality).

David would go on to marry four more women, a practice common to kings and wealthy men in David’s time but never sanctioned by God (Abraham had one wife; Isaac had one wife; and Jacob one wife upon his conversion). During that time he would be sexually active with his servants as well. David took on a number of what are referred to as concubines (“sort of” wives), and he would have children with them. Concubines were slaves of the palace that also provided sexual services for their master. However, with all of these women at his beckoned call throughout the palace, David still had some time alone to look out over the city. Perhaps he worried about his army in battle. Maybe he was concerned for his children. Could he have been in prayer for the nation under his reign? Or, I suppose it was possible that this king was feeling discontent in his circumstances and wondering what it was he was missing.

David and Bathsheba 

While looking out over the city from the palace roof, David’s eyes beheld the beauty of Bathsheba while she bathed on the roof of her house, customary for a woman to do to clean herself during her menstrual period. King David sent messengers to call on her, and she went to the king who engaged her in adulterous sex. Was Bathsheba a willing participant? She may have been ambitious enough that she was a willing adulterer who seduced the king from her roof and got what she wanted; or, maybe she was taken by strong suggestion by the king’s guys that the king values her company—or possibly taken by force—and seduced by him; or worse, “coerced”. It’s important to note that if Bathsheba was recently part of an arranged marriage she most likely would have been a young teenager and that much more vulnerable; as may have been the case with the rest of his wives and concubines, which was customary in that culture. (Please understand that the point of emphasizing the severity of David’s addictive—even horrific deviant—sin is to bring into focus the merciful grace of God whenever any sinner repents.)

Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace. As he looked out over the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath. He sent someone to find out who she was, and he was told, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.”

Then David sent messengers to get her; and when she came to the palace, he slept with her. She had just completed the purification rites after having her menstrual period. Then she returned home. 2 Samuel 11:2-4 (NLT)

Whether adultery or rape, these would not be David’s only crimes. When learning that Bathsheba became pregnant, it was obvious to David that the baby was his since her husband, Uriah had been away in battle for months. David got word to Uriah to take some leave and spend some quality time with his wife and family. If Uriah made love to his wife, it would not so be untimely that Bathsheba’s pregnancy would be the outcome of her time with her husband. But Uriah, out of respect for his fellow soldiers, warriors in the midst of battle, would not allow himself to experience pleasure by sleeping with his wife (I suppose a custom of nobility of some kind).

When Uriah arrived, David asked him how Joab and the army were getting along and how the war was progressing. Then he told Uriah, “Go on home and relax.” David even sent a gift to Uriah after he had left the palace. But Uriah didn’t go home. He slept that night at the palace entrance with the king’s palace guard.

When David heard that Uriah had not gone home, he summoned him and asked, “What’s the matter? Why didn’t you go home last night after being away for so long?” Uriah replied, “The Ark and the armies of Israel and Judah are living in tents, and Joab and my master’s men are camping in the open fields. How could I go home to wine and dine and sleep with my wife? I swear that I would never do such a thing.”

“Well, stay here today,” David told him, “and tomorrow you may return to the army.” So Uriah stayed in Jerusalem that day and the next. Then David invited him to dinner and got him drunk. But even then he couldn’t get Uriah to go home to his wife. Again he slept at the palace entrance with the king’s palace guard. 2 Samuel 11:7-13

“You’ve got to be kidding. I got him drunk; sent a gift with him that would enhance the mood, but… Now what do I do? The people can’t know that I am so heartless as to sleep with a commander’s wife while he’s fighting for our country. How now do I cover up this  mess (addictive behavior) I’ve gotten myself into?” Typical of addicted people is that as mistakes are made it becomes imperative to cover it up through lies and deceit. “The more I mess up, the more I gotta cover and lie; and the more I cover and lie, the bigger my mess.”

So the next morning David wrote a letter to Joab and gave it to Uriah to deliver. The letter instructed Joab, “Station Uriah on the front lines where the battle is fiercest. Then pull back so that he will be killed.” So Joab assigned Uriah to a spot close to the city wall where he knew the enemy’s strongest men were fighting. And when the enemy soldiers came out of the city to fight, Uriah the Hittite was killed along with several other Israelite soldiers. 2 Samuel 11:14-17 (NLT)

When Uriah’s wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. ²⁷ When the period of mourning was over, David sent for her and brought her to the palace, and she became one of his wives. Then she gave birth to a son. But the Lord was displeased with what David had done. 2 Samuel 11:26-27 (NLT)

David Repents

As the story goes, King David was so caught up in himself that he did not consider the gravity of his egregious behavior against even the most fundamental precepts of God as it pertains to creation, life, and worship to God. David had lost his way; that is until Nathan, his trusted advisor and beloved friend, got up the courage to confront his friend who was, first and foremost, King of Israel. Here is what Nathan the prophet said to David:

“There were two men in a certain town. One was rich, and one was poor. The rich man owned a great many sheep and cattle. The poor man owned nothing but one little lamb he had bought. He raised that little lamb, and it grew up with his children. It ate from the man’s own plate and drank from his cup. He cuddled it in his arms like a baby daughter. One day a guest arrived at the home of the rich man. But instead of killing an animal from his own flock or herd, he took the poor man’s lamb and killed it and prepared it for his guest.”

David was furious. “As surely as the Lord lives,” he vowed, “any man who would do such a thing deserves to die! He must repay four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity.”

Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man! The Lord, the God of Israel, says: I anointed you king of Israel and saved you from the power of Saul. I gave you your master’s house and his wives and the kingdoms of Israel and Judah. And if that had not been enough, I would have given you much, much more. Why, then, have you despised the word of the Lord and done this horrible deed? For you have murdered Uriah the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and stolen his wife.” 2 Samuel 12:1-9 (NLT)

Nathan would go on to prophecy that David would experience the circumstances of his addictive sin. David’s first newborn child with Bathsheba became sick and died. The consequences are what they are and David’s family would reap what they sowed. David fell prostrate on the ground and repented of his sin to God, from which we get the following famous Psalm of repentance, Psalm 51:

¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.
² Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify me from my sin.
³ For I recognize my rebellion;
it haunts me day and night.
⁴ Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say,
and your judgment against me is just.
⁵ For I was born a sinner—
yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
⁶ But you desire honesty from the womb,
teaching me wisdom even there.

⁷ Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me—
now let me rejoice.
⁹ Don’t keep looking at my sins.
Remove the stain of my guilt.
¹⁰ Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not banish me from your presence,
and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.

¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.
¹³ Then I will teach your ways to rebels,
and they will return to you.
¹⁴ Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;
then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
¹⁵ Unseal my lips, O Lord,
that my mouth may praise you.

¹⁶ You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
You do not want a burnt offering.
¹⁷ The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
¹⁸ Look with favor on Zion and help her;
rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
¹⁹ Then you will be pleased with sacrifices offered in the right spirit—
with burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings.
Then bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.

What an incredible prayer of repentance. David hit all the right notes. He did know the heart of God. He understood that no matter how vile and deviant his sin, and no matter who all he violated as a result of his sin, ultimately all that mattered was that he sinned against God. He violated the law of God carrying with it the most severe of consequences. David spoke of his sin as being guilty of hostile rebellion and evil. It would require the mercy of a compassionate God of unfailing love to be cleansed of his guilt and shame. It would require this king to be completely broken and contrite before God to experience true repentance. David knew intellectually that any act of sacrificial worship would need to be from this broken repentant heart since if his lifestyle did not reflect as such his acts of praise to God would be in vain. He cannot worship two masters. To worship by living to please himself would render his praise to God as insincere and nullify the benefit of true spiritual worship in his life.

So the question for David is the same as it would be for you and me: What in the life of David changed?

Reality of Consequences

Was it the intentional plan of God that a man be married to more than one woman?

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him… This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Genesis 2:18, 24 (NLT)

It is made clear in Scripture that God intended for one man and one woman to be united into marriage. While Moses wrote (Deuteronomy 21:15-17) that a man could be married more than once, it was in direct contrast to the unity God intended for marriage. Not only was David married to all of these women, but we are informed by Scripture that he was sexually involved with numerous other women (concubines) that were servants of his many wives. If the king found the woman attractive, he would not deny his sexual urges but rather give in to those urges whenever inclined to do so. While this was considered typical, even acceptable social behavior, I suppose we are to believe that it was harmless fun within the friendly confines of marriage and family, and that all participants were delighted with this arrangement of sexual freedom.

Sexual freedom, or sexually deviant addictive behavior? Let us continue the examination.

This sexual freedom in the immediate family of David produced dozens of children, the Book of 1 Chronicles lists David’s sons by various wives and concubines. In Hebron he had six sons: Amnon, by Ahinoam; Daniel, by Abigail; Absalom, by Maachah; Adonijah, by Haggith; Shephatiah, by Abital; and Ithream, by Eglah. By Bathsheba, his sons were Shammua; Shobab; Nathan; and Solomon. His sons born in Jerusalem by other wives included: Ibhar; Elishua; Eliphelet; Nogah; Nepheg; Japhia; Elishama; and Eliada. According to 2 Chronicles 11:18, Jerimoth, who is not mentioned in any of the genealogies, is mentioned as another of David’s sons. According to 2 Samuel 9:11, David adopted Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth as his own. David also had at least one daughter, Tamar by Maachah. In addition to the documented children from his wives were the children from his concubines. David was king for more than 30 years and produced at least as many children.

Imagine the confusion and complexity of emotion in a family of that size under what was essentially one roof in the presidential palace that they all lived in together. All of these children with different mothers as half-brothers and sisters living as one giant community. It was as combustible a blended family situation as one could imagine. Probably not all of the time, but as children grew up it is reported in The Old Testament that at least one sexual attraction developed between David’s oldest son, Amnon, and his daughter, Tamar. Amnon and Tamar have different mothers. One can presume that Tamar was quite fond of Amnon, but understood plainly that he was her brother, even though a half-brother. For Amnon, heir to David’s throne, though he could have married any woman/women of his choosing, was so drawn by his attraction to Tamar that he had to have her.

¹ Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. And Amnon, her half brother, fell desperately in love with her. ² Amnon became so obsessed with Tamar that he became ill. She was a virgin, and Amnon thought he could never have her.

³ But Amnon had a very crafty friend—his cousin Jonadab. He was the son of David’s brother Shimea. ⁴One day Jonadab said to Amnon, “What’s the trouble? Why should the son of a king look so dejected morning after morning?” So Amnon told him, “I am in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” ⁵ “Well,” Jonadab said, “I’ll tell you what to do. Go back to bed and pretend you are ill. When your father comes to see you, ask him to let Tamar come and prepare some food for you. Tell him you’ll feel better if she prepares it as you watch and feeds you with her own hands.”

⁶ So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. And when the king came to see him, Amnon asked him, “Please let my sister Tamar come and cook my favorite dish as I watch. Then I can eat it from her own hands.” ⁷ So David agreed and sent Tamar to Amnon’s house to prepare some food for him.

⁸ When Tamar arrived at Amnon’s house, she went to the place where he was lying down so he could watch her mix some dough. Then she baked his favorite dish for him. ⁹ But when she set the serving tray before him, he refused to eat. “Everyone get out of here,” Amnon told his servants. So they all left. ¹⁰ Then he said to Tamar, “Now bring the food into my bedroom and feed it to me here.” So Tamar took his favorite dish to him. ¹¹ But as she was feeding him, he grabbed her and demanded, “Come to bed with me, my darling sister.” ¹² “No, my brother!” she cried. “Don’t be foolish! Don’t do this to me! Such wicked things aren’t done in Israel. ¹³ Where could I go in my shame? And you would be called one of the greatest fools in Israel. Please, just speak to the king about it, and he will let you marry me.”

¹⁴ But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. ¹⁵ Then suddenly Amnon’s love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. “Get out of here!” he snarled at her. ¹⁶ “No, no!” Tamar cried. “Sending me away now is worse than what you’ve already done to me.” But Amnon wouldn’t listen to her. ¹⁷ He shouted for his servant and demanded, “Throw this woman out, and lock the door behind her!” ¹⁸ So the servant put her out and locked the door behind her. She was wearing a long, beautiful robe, as was the custom in those days for the king’s virgin daughters. ¹⁹ But now Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head. And then, with her face in her hands, she went away crying.

²⁰ Her brother Absalom saw her and asked, “Is it true that Amnon has been with you? Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he’s your brother. Don’t you worry about it.” So Tamar lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house. ²¹ When King David heard what had happened, he was very angry. ²² And though Absalom never spoke to Amnon about this, he hated Amnon deeply because of what he had done to his sister. 2 Samuel 13:1-22 (NLT)

Imagine seeing this graphic scene in a movie. You would be horrified. What we are dealing with here are the logical, sensible consequences of addiction. It is entirely possible that the scene portrayed in 2 Samuel 13 between Amnon and Tamar is eerily similar to the scene between David and Bathsheba. It is possible that David had nothing more to do with Bathsheba until discovering that she was pregnant. In David’s case it was not incest with Bathsheba but it was at the very least adultery, and possibly it was rape. In either case, with all that David had in his garden of Eden kingdom, it was an addiction that required gratification.

So far, 2 Samuel 13 has been about addiction that led to incestuous rape, but the rest of the chapter tells the story of murderous revenge. Absalom would let enough time tick off the clock (two years) that Amnon would let his guard down leaving him vulnerable to his brother’s scheme of revenge. Amnon fell into Absalom’s trap as Absalom got Amnon drunk and persuaded all of King David’s sons to kill Amnon and they did.

Ah, sweet revenge. Is there anything more obsessive than the drive for revenge when one is seething in resentment. Rage, resentment and revenge was the code that David lived by when you examine the story behind the story. Rape, revenge, murder, shame and mourning. Like father, like sons. Victims and villains caught up in the vice grip of addiction. (Even David’s son Solomon, who would succeed David as king, repeated the sins of his father many times over—Deuteronomy 17:16-17, 1 Kings 11)

As they were on the way back to Jerusalem, this report reached David: “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons; not one is left alive!” The king got up, tore his robe, and threw himself on the ground. His advisers also tore their clothes in horror and sorrow. 2 Samuel 13:30-31 (NLT)

Would it soften the blow, lessen the pain for David that only Amnon was dead and now Absalom was fleeing for his life having given the order to murder his brother. (Sort of like a mob hit; the one giving the orders is ultimately held responsible.) Absalom would stay away for three years only to resurface (when David relented and reconciled with this son) to plot and scheme how to deceive and conquer the will of his father by aligning with enough of the military to actually drive his father out of the city of David into hiding; that is until the king would turn the tables and chase down Absalom. King David gave strict orders that those still aligned with Absalom be defeated and killed but that Absalom’s life be spared. However, when Joab and his men found Absalom helpless, caught by his hair hanging from a tree branch after his horse raced under it, they knew that to extinguish any future threat of risk that lie in wake in this bad seed, they needed to kill him and so they did just that; reporting to the king that Absalom’s death was in the chaos of the battle (2 Samuel 14-18).

²⁴ While David was sitting between the inner and outer gates of the town, the watchman climbed to the roof of the gateway by the wall. As he looked, he saw a lone man running toward them. ²⁵ He shouted the news down to David, and the king replied, “If he is alone, he has news.” As the messenger came closer, ²⁶ the watchman saw another man running toward them. He shouted down, “Here comes another one!” The king replied, “He also will have news.” ²⁷ “The first man runs like Ahimaaz son of Zadok,” the watchman said. “He is a good man and comes with good news,” the king replied.

²⁸ Then Ahimaaz cried out to the king, “Everything is all right!” He bowed before the king with his face to the ground and said, “Praise to the Lord your God, who has handed over the rebels who dared to stand against my lord the king.” ²⁹ “What about young Absalom?” the king demanded. “Is he all right?” Ahimaaz replied, “When Joab told me to come, there was a lot of commotion. But I didn’t know what was happening.” ³⁰ “Wait here,” the king told him. So Ahimaaz stepped aside.

³¹ Then the man from Ethiopia arrived and said, “I have good news for my lord the king. Today the Lord has rescued you from all those who rebelled against you.” ³² “What about young Absalom?” the king demanded. “Is he all right?” And the Ethiopian replied, “May all of your enemies, my lord the king, both now and in the future, share the fate of that young man!”

³³ The king was overcome with emotion. He went up to the room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son.” 2 Samuel 18:24-33 (NLT)

Rock Bottom

David experienced the full weight of addiction’s consequences. He had come full circle in the cycle of addiction and finally hit rock bottom. Except at the bottom he was beaten up physically, emotionally, and spiritually. From what I am about to show you from Psalm 38, David is not sure how to express himself to God as he cries out to Him. It is from a broken spirit from a deeply wounded man who cannot take another thing. It also sounds like a man so broken and powerless before God that he is done chasing after the next thing for gratification since there is nothing left to gratify him. Booze won’t do it for him. Sex won’t do it for him. Possessions won’t do it for him. Being worshiped and adored by the people won’t do it. His family has withdrawn from him. He has lost the respect of a nation, and his reign is again in jeopardy. David is in the throes of severe grief; his heart is broken; he may even be experiencing symptoms of withdrawal from alcohol or something that has affected his physical body; but whatever it is, he is dying inside.

¹ O Lord, don’t rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your rage! ² Your arrows have struck deep, and your blows are crushing me. ³ Because of your anger, my whole body is sick; my health is broken because of my sins. ⁴ My guilt overwhelms me—it is a burden too heavy to bear. ⁵ My wounds fester and stink because of my foolish sins. ⁶ I am bent over and racked with pain. All day long I walk around filled with grief. ⁷ A raging fever burns within me, and my health is broken. ⁸ I am exhausted and completely crushed. My groans come from an anguished heart. ⁹ You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh. ¹⁰ My heart beats wildly, my strength fails, and I am going blind. ¹¹ My loved ones and friends stay away, fearing my disease. Even my own family stands at a distance.

¹² Meanwhile, my enemies lay traps to kill me. Those who wish me harm make plans to ruin me. All day long they plan their treachery. ¹³ But I am deaf to all their threats. I am silent before them as one who cannot speak. ¹⁴ I choose to hear nothing, and I make no reply. ¹⁵ For I am waiting for you, O Lord. You must answer for me, O Lord my God. ¹⁶ I prayed, “Don’t let my enemies gloat over me or rejoice at my downfall.” ¹⁷ I am on the verge of collapse, facing constant pain.

¹⁸ But I confess my sins; I am deeply sorry for what I have done. ¹⁹ I have many aggressive enemies; they hate me without reason. ²⁰ They repay me evil for good and oppose me for pursuing good. ²¹ Do not abandon me, O Lord. Do not stand at a distance, my God. ²² Come quickly to help me, O Lord my savior. Psalm 38 (NLT)

Where does one go from here? For David, he was confronted by Joab (2 Samuel 19) who told him if he didn’t pull it together he would lose everything. David needed to sober up quickly or it was all over for him. That is how it is for anyone paralyzed by addiction. David acknowledged in Psalm 38 that the power of addiction in his life was so much bigger than he was, and that he would need the only One bigger than the power of his addiction and its consequences.

For a long time I considered David’s crying out in this fashion as a kind of victim pleading for mercy, rather than the repentant determination of David’s Psalm 51 confession that reads with a great deal of humility. His Psalm 38 confession has always wreaked of self-pity that I found a bit pathetic. However, upon further review I have come to realize that this confession (Psalm 38 was written years, maybe a decade or two after Psalm 51) is real. The emotion of this confession is raw and authentic. It not only contains an honest contriteness, but includes the anger and self-loathing of a man without answers who cannot turn back the clock for a do-over with a lifetime of regret. David, like anyone, if he knew then what he knows now, would have done a number of things quite differently. The problem with that is that he could not know then. He didn’t have the pain as his incentive to do things differently.

Repentance, Redemption, and Restoration

In the end through all of the ups and downs in David’s life, Faithful God saved him from his enemies. David had a repentant heart. And every single time that David went to Merciful God by confession seeking forgiveness, God was faithful to forgive him. Why? Because God loves his sons and daughters, and God loved David.

You might wonder, how sincere was David’s confession if he turned around and repeated the same sin again and again and again. I think it is safe to assume that David led a very conflicted life. When he was so caught up in self-centered obsessions and addictive behavior, like any addict, he did not have foresight to realize he was in the wrong and that his thoughts and actions on those thoughts and feelings was so destructive to himself, his family, and others. Whenever he came into awareness of his faults and sinful behavior he went to God in all sincerity and confessed his sin. With a broken humble spirit David confessed his sin and repented before the Lord. God forgave David and restored him.

As time wound down toward the end of David’s life, he sang the following from 2 Samuel 22: 

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; ³ my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence. ⁴ I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies. ⁵ “The waves of death overwhelmed me; floods of destruction swept over me. ⁶ The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path. ⁷ But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I cried to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.

²⁰ He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me. ²¹ The Lord rewarded me for doing right; he restored me because of my innocence. ²² For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not turned from my God to follow evil. ²³ I have followed all his regulations; I have never abandoned his decrees. ²⁴ I am blameless before God; I have kept myself from sin. ²⁵ The Lord rewarded me for doing right. He has seen my innocence.

⁴⁷ “The Lord lives! Praise to my Rock! May God, the Rock of my salvation, be exalted!”

As I read this psalm of worship from the lips of David, I ponder the question, “Is David delusional? He speaks of his innocence as having never sinned. The thing is: God is faithful! When He cleansed David of all unrighteousness, He washed him white as snow. The slate was wiped clean; a new start; renewed in the grace of Almighty God. It’s as if David never sinned in the eyes of God. David confessed his sin, and God was faithful and just to forgive him (1 John 1:9). In addition to David, there are so many more examples in Scripture of this unimaginable mercy—Paul (murder), Mary Magdalene (demon possession), Peter (denied knowing Jesus), the thief on the cross (crimes against humanity), you and me.

²¹ But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law, as was promised in the writings of Moses and the prophets long ago. ²² We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. ²³ For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. ²⁴ Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.

²⁵ For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, ²⁶ for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus. ²⁷ Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on obeying the law. It is based on faith. ²⁸ So we are made right with God through faith and not by obeying the law. Romans 3:21-28 (NLT)

One might say, “Grace? Jesus hadn’t been to the cross yet when David declared his innocence.” God has always been a compassionate merciful gracious God of unfailing love. David was God’s servant—a man after His own heart—and when he experienced the mercy of his Lord it was indeed an experience. In fact, when you read the words of David from 2 Samuel 22, you get the sense that David was keenly aware of the Messiah (by revelation from God’s Spirit) as the Savior from his selfish sin. He seemed to have relationship with Immanuel, meaning “God is with us” (Isaiah 7:14). David experienced the mercy of the Lord.

It was only fair—just—that God forgive David of his past. Fair to whom? Where is the justice for the Uriahs of the world—the victims of the perpetrators of sin? The truth of the matter is that while Uriah was a victim of David’s selfishness, He was a perpetrator of selfish sin against victims of his selfishness. We are all victims as well as perpetrators of selfish sin. God’s demonstration of His idea of justice applies to repentant perpetrators and to their victims. Jesus died that all would have new life. It is only just and fair to God that all who repent receive the gift of the sacrifice of His Son since all have fallen short of God’s standard without grace. David was the recipient of the gracious gift of new life just as you and I are.

The point here for you is that no matter what you have thought, felt, or done, nothing can keep you from the love of God, and if you humbly confess your sin with a sincere heart, nothing can keep you or hide you from the mercy of God. You can experience the innocence that David knew in his experience whenever he repented of his selfish addictive sin (“I am blameless before God”).

David said, “May God, the Rock of my salvation, be exalted!” The most meaningful synonym of the word ‘salvation’ is recovery. This is what David experienced and what God would love for you to experience today. Please, even now, reach out to a reachable accessible Father and tell Him whatever it is you need to tell Him, and discover a wonderful treasure that will set your soul free and lead you into the new life experience of real peace and real joy.

In the end, David was about building the Temple to the Lord. While David experienced a history of addiction to selfishness that led to consequences beyond imagination suffered by his family as well as an entire nation—Hundreds of thousands of people were impacted directly by David’s choices as a result of obsession and addiction to self—his legacy would include his commitment to doing the work required to fulfill the plan and purpose of God.

Then King David turned to the entire assembly and said, “My son Solomon, whom God has clearly chosen as the next king of Israel, is still young and inexperienced. The work ahead of him is enormous, for the Temple he will build is not for mere mortals—it is for the Lord God himself! Using every resource at my command, I have gathered as much as I could for building the Temple of my God. Now there is enough gold, silver, bronze, iron, and wood, as well as great quantities of onyx, other precious stones, costly jewels, and all kinds of fine stone and marble. “And now, because of my devotion to the Temple of my God, I am giving all of my own private treasures of gold and silver to help in the construction. This is in addition to the building materials I have already collected for his holy Temple.
1 Chronicles 29:1-3 (NLT)

David became fearless in his pursuit of obediently serving the Lord God in preparation of the Temple. His heart of repentant obedience and commitment to serving of God was the crowning jewel of a roller coaster existence. David’s recovery and final legacy ultimately was a 180 degree turn from doing whatever he could to gratify is addictive impulses to giving everything back to God that was God’s (on loan to David) in the first place. He surrendered all of his prosperous resources and wealth to the building of the Temple, a place where the Spirit of God would literally dwell.

Then David praised the Lord in the presence of the whole assembly:

“O Lord, the God of our ancestor Israel, may you be praised forever and ever! Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty. Everything in the heavens and on earth is yours, O Lord, and this is your kingdom. We adore you as the one who is over all things. Wealth and honor come from you alone, for you rule over everything. Power and might are in your hand, and at your discretion people are made great and given strength.

“O our God, we thank you and praise your glorious name! But who am I, and who are my people, that we could give anything to you? Everything we have has come from you, and we give you only what you first gave us! We are here for only a moment, visitors and strangers in the land as our ancestors were before us. Our days on earth are like a passing shadow, gone so soon without a trace. “O Lord our God, even this material we have gathered to build a Temple to honor your holy name comes from you! It all belongs to you! I know, my God, that you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there. You know I have done all this with good motives, and I have watched your people offer their gifts willingly and joyously. 1 Chronicles 29:10-18 (NLT)

The Call of Recovery

What does this mean for you and I today concerning our recovery?

Because of God’s grace to me, I have laid the foundation like an expert builder. Now others are building on it. But whoever is building on this foundation must be very careful. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one we already have—Jesus Christ. Anyone who builds on that foundation may use a variety of materials—gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay, or straw. But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames. Don’t you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in you? God will destroy anyone who destroys this temple. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.
1 Corinthians 3:10-17 (NLT)

Because, the Bible says, we in our bodies are the Temple where the Spirit of God dwells, like the surrendered commitment of David, we must obediently be doing the work of the Lord by the way we live each hour of each day. This is the call of recovery. Like David, we must be so careful not to bring harm to the Temple of the Lord but be willing to serve however we are called to serve. First, we must preserve the Temple of God. The Temple of God where the Spirit of Christ dwells is our body and mind, heart and soul. It is incumbent on us then that we abstain from that which in any way causes harm to the Temple. Second, we are called to do the work of building on the foundation that God has laid down for us in His Son. It is in responding to this call of obedience to service and giving that the blessing and promise—the miracle—is realized in this life of faithful recovery. When we really come to understand this truth, like David, we win the ultimate prize. Like David, we are people of God’s own heart… the apple of His eye.

Then David continued, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. He will see to it that all the work related to the Temple of the Lord is finished correctly. 1 Chronicles 28:20 (NLT)

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

Lesson: MEdom = Worship of Self (TWIRL 023)