Depression

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

“We all want progress. But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road…” —C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)

Many of us struggle with the issue of depression in our lives that causes serious hindrance to daily function; to the point for some that it is debilitating—even paralyzing. Feelings of depression tend to be the result of failed expectations that emanate from a mounting history of life experiences. Wounds and disappointments have a way of building up over time. These unmet expectations tend to be at the root core of a negative world view and damaged self-esteem. Depression can be a culmination of feelings of failure, anger and resentment, shame, and fear.

Depressed people then tend to withdraw and isolate. This often occurs even in one’s relationship with God. Depression can equate to distance when it comes to fellowship with God. It’s as though God has disengaged and distanced Himself from us. We might feel that we have failed to meet His expectations as well, so why wouldn’t He pull back? It’s not that He is punishing us; it’s just that God need not bother with me, the failure.

The problem here is that when we feel depressed and become immobilized, we tend to doubt when we pray, as though it would take a miracle even for God to hear our prayer. Or worse, we can become tormented in our spirit, and give up praying altogether, too damaged for even God to help us. At this point, confidence is so absent in our relationship with God that we are utterly alone. Staying on the depression road to despair now takes us further and further away from the Lord, not because he distances Himself from us, but because we are on the wrong road.

So, how do we get back on the right road? We need to confess to Christ that we are dead in our tracks—that somehow we took a wrong turn. We need to tell Jesus exactly what we are feeling. He’s a big God. He can handle what we tell Him. He does not condemn us. We condemn ourselves. It is in self-condemnation that we lose confidence before Him.

“For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God.” I John 3:20-21 (NKJV)

God’s compassion and mercy overcomes and overwhelms our hearts when we prayerfully let go of our stuff and get hold of this truth. Jesus Christ is our Sympathetic Savior and His sacrificial act of compassion, leaving the comfort zone of Heaven to get to know us and understand our weakness—the areas where we hurt the most—is an amazing truth. Because Jesus did not give into the temptation to yield to disappointment, anger and resentment, fatigue, failure, doubt, fear, and yes, even depression and despair, He is uniquely qualified to listen to us in our need, and offer empowerment right where we need it.

Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly (confidently) to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16 (NKJV)

Confess to Christ your hurts, your fears, the adversity in your daily experiences and circumstances. Tell Him everything! Tell him about your anxiety and your stress, and all that is in your heart and mind adding to your stress. Tell Him about your depression. Tell Him if you’re in despair. If you have them, confess to Him those suicidal thoughts—not as something insane inside you that you feel guilty and shameful about, but as something horribly amiss inside that requires healing that only He can do for you. And of course, even where sin is a part of our confession, there is the promise: “When we confess with our mouths, He is faithful and just to forgive.” I John 1:9

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV)

Let go of your stuff and let the peace of God protect you from debilitating depression (I’m not talking about peace of mind that ebbs and flows according to our circumstances but peace that sustains) . There lies the road to freedom from depression. This is not an act of religion, but rather an experience of relationship between you and God by way of relationship with Christ Jesus. YOU WIN! All I can say is that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, even if you have stumbled onto this article and have never prayed before in your life. I have counseled so many that prayed faithless-while-hopeful prayers who experienced God for the first time in a way that was undeniably God.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. I Peter 5:7 (NLT)

I recently listened to a sermon about what seems to be our obsession with the matter of depression. It seems everyone is depressed. It also seems that anyone going to their family practitioner complaining of depressive symptoms is prescribed anti-depressant medication.

There is definitely an over-medicating of society, especially in America. We tend to take a pill for everything. Or if we’re feeling a little sluggish, instead of eating right and exercising, we’ll get our pick-me-up from real strong coffee concoctions or an energy drink. The focus of the sermon was about taking care of our body, mind, and spirit by means that promote physical health (diet and exercise), mental health (diet, exercise, and other activities that stimulate endorphins promoting productive neuro-chemical activity), and spiritual health (effectual prayer life, healthy church community). There was particular emphasis placed on these routes for countering depression other than medication.

In the sermon, a double-blind study was sited that indicated some 40 percent of participants claimed to be feeling better upon taking a placebo substitute (sugar pill) and not anti-depressant medication. This is important research that documents that people claiming depression may not have been depressed in the first place. You’ll get no argument from me. I would suggest, though, that we be careful not to instruct people to quit taking their anti-depressant medication simply as a matter of fact across the board.

There is a distinction between being depressed and feeling depressed. Depression as a clinical disorder has to do with depressed mood, meaning a drop in serotonin levels and declining frontal lobe activity in the brain. Whether frontal lobe inactivity causes depression or is caused by depression, the issue is still depressed frontal lobe activity. A person simply feeling depressed, meaning dealing with disappointment and sadness, may not have the same severity of frontal lobe depression.“The role of specific brain regions in the pathophysiology of clinical depression is poorly understood. However, one brain area, the prefrontal cortex, is emerging as likely being directly involved in clinical depression. The authors review accepted clinical diagnostic criteria for depression and show how these relate to the behavioral changes seen after prefrontal cortex damage in man and other animals. Information from structural (MRI, CT) and functional imaging (SPECT, PET) is then examined for direct evidence of prefrontal cortex abnormalities in clinically depressed subjects. Functional imaging studies, with few exceptions, demonstrate prefrontal lobe hypometabolism in primary and secondary depression, with severity of depression often correlating with the degree of frontal inactivity. These studies imply that dysfunction of the prefrontal cortex, particularly with respect to its role in modulating limbic activity, could conceivably produce many of the symptoms seen in clinical depression.

Viewing clinical depression as a disease involving dysfunction of the prefrontal cortex and connected brain regions may prove helpful in both the clinical management of depression and in clarifying future avenues for research.” (1994, Mark S. George, M.D., Terence A. Ketter, M.D., Dr. Robert M. Post, M.D. *Biological Psychiatry Branch, National Institute of Mental Health, Bethesda, MD)Mental illness is not imagined but a profoundly real condition either caused by or causing brain chemistry malfunction.

Severe mental illness can usually be managed effectively with the right medication prescribed by a well-intentioned physician in combination with proactive therapy. I even asked a Christian Psychiatrist a few years back if it’s possible that Mary Magdalene may have been able to defend herself against demon possession had she received the kind of medication and therapy people with severe mental illness benefit from today. He agreed with me that it is certainly possible.Brain imagery clearly indicates that brain chemistry is a factor in depression, just like it is with addiction, allergies, severe mental illness, and so on.

I have sinus allergies. There often are times that even as I reach for my allergy medication that I begin to experience legitimate relief from my allergy symptoms. Studies for just about every medication for symptom relief include a percentage of participants that experienced relief from a placebo substitute. If you are someone currently using prescribed medication to combat depression it would be wise to have a discussion with your doctor. If you are seeing a psychiatrist, it would be to your advantage to reopen discussion to discern the difference between being depressed and feeling depressed. If you were prescribed medication by your family practitioner, perhaps you should reopen that discussion. Ask him or her, “Do you believe I need this medicine, or did you prescribe it because I wanted something to fix me fast?”Of course most importantly, pray about it. Ask God for guidance and wisdom.

We are as a society pretty obsessed with depression and wanting to take something for it. Actually, anti-depressant medication might mask a deeper problem if it’s being used like alcohol or drugs or food to self-medicate and also masking a deeper, more substantial problem.Bottom line, whether you are severely mentally ill or you feel a bit depressed now and then, tell God about it. Leave it all before His throne. Be confident that He will bless you in your moment of need.

“I Don’t Love Me”… Oh Yes You Do! (Restoring Self-Esteem)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

“You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength… Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.”
Mark 12:30-31 (NLT)

How do I love my neighbor… my brother… my children… if I don’t love myself?

.                                     .          (           2) (11)The thing is, to not love, care, or have concern for yourself would mean that you are indifferent and completely and purely unmotivated out of absolute selflessness to do or be anything. You need to let that marinate and soak in for a bit since on the surface it may not seem to make much sense.

Unmotivated to do what? It doesn’t matter. To deny yourself from an absolute disposition of selflessness without intentions of any kind would ultimately result in your death. What??? What could that possibly mean? To not love yourself would be to be indifferent to your own needs—to care not at all about anything or anyone, beginning with you. Nothing would be of importance to you or necessary in any way. You certainly wouldn’t want anything. I’ll say it again: if you did not love yourself or hold yourself in importance you would be unconditionally indifferent to your own needs.

.                                     .          (           2) (13)You might starve. You might dehydrate. Why? Because if you do not care about yourself, no concern for you, why eat or drink? Why do anything? Why not do anything? Why go? Why stop? You would only sleep because you passed out from fatigue. Fatigue from what? From being alive at all, I suppose. There would be no incentive to get up nor to stay in bed. Why would you? Why would you be happy or sad or mad? Why would you be excited or bored? If you itched, why scratch? What would be the point? Why would you be interested? What do you care? Why would you care? You’re indifferent. To not love yourself is to not love at all. So Jesus said to love your neighbor as you love yourself. If your love for self is motivated by anger, resentment, bitterness, jealousy, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, hatred, vengeance, guilt and shame, etc., I suppose that’s pretty messed up.

A little confusing so far making sense of where this is going? Please bear with me because I believe this is critically important for so many who are hurting and struggling with the way they see themselves. I am suggesting that even though you might feel hatred toward yourself for choices you’ve made or how you have reacted to abuses perpetuated against you, .                                     .          (           2) (2)that you do have positive regard for yourself motivating you to in some way improve your situation; even if the things you do prove to be destructive against you and others affected in the scope of your activity. Positive regard does not necessarily mean you emote positive feelings for yourself, it does mean that you are important enough to you to do whatever you have to do to “remedy” your discomfort; which may in the end result in increased discomfort and pain.

Even to say that you hate yourself is to admit that you care enough about yourself to hate yourself. And since concern, compassion, and passion fall under the love category, you really have to love yourself to hate yourself. Alright, so maybe that still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense so please continue.

I often have this discussion with clients since they have come to believe that they are addicted to alcohol and drugs and do what they do because they are self-destructive and need to love themselves again. Then I come along and suggest that they already do love themselves and that there is where the problem lies that lands them in prison time and time again.

“How can you suggest that I love myself when I can’t stop hurting myself and those I love and keep ending up in this place I hate?”

Surveys of folks in treatment tend to suggest that most have low self-esteem while indicating higher marks for risk-taking, justification, and rationalizing behavior. I am suggesting that low self-esteem would suggest lack of regard and consideration for one’s own needs but high marks in the other categories mentioned would suggest these prisoners go through a lot of trouble and difficulty attending to their own needs, breaking the law to overcome major obstacles getting in the way of what they believe they want, need, and deserve.

The results of these studies would also suggest that questions regarding self-esteem center around feelings of past abuse and neglect, feeling under- or unappreciated, issues with betrayal and rejection, lack or absence of healthy role models, and so on. If survey questions for self-esteem indicators were measuring attention to one’s own wants and needs and the effort that goes into securing them, the indications for self-esteem would rate much higher.

This question brings us back to the problem of self-centered entitlement. What motivates someone to continue taking risks? Why use drugs and alcohol? Why medicate pain? What break the law? Why forsake loved ones in desperate search for a remedy? What compels a person to do anything, say anything, or go anywhere? What is the motivation?

The motivation is love for self. Wants and needs instinctively evoke emotions that stimulate motivation and intention. All desire comes from a place of self-love. Whether the desire is righteous or unrighteous is beside the point. Desire is always rooted in self-love constantly feeding into a core belief of entitlement.

We all get high—gratified—in our own way. Maybe the high is chemically induced. Maybe the high comes from a cold drink of water or beverage of some kind when my throat is parched. The gratification can come from a meal to satisfy my empty stomach. Maybe the high comes from saying something to you that provokes something nice that you say back to me. Maybe it comes when I say something to you because I am angry and it needed to be said. Maybe the high comes when I experience relief from weariness or pain. You get the idea.

Drug addicts, including alcoholics, often admit that they use because it replaces something that is missing; it’s filling a void of some kind. Addicts will often speak of a history of adversity in their lives; memories perhaps of a tortured past. Most of my clients come from a history of abuse and neglect and grew up to model what they witnessed and experienced. Addicts turned to drugs from a place of really poor self-esteem. People who have ventured in and out of abusive destructive sexual relationships may not feel like they are worth anything at all. They all may have come to not like themselves very much but… that’s right… they in fact have love for themselves. It is love that is sick and selfish and destructive but love nonetheless.

.....baby_geniusEsteem is defined as “favorable regard… respect… consideration…” Poor or low self-esteem would suggest poor or low regard for self; a lack of self-respect; a lack of consideration for self or one’s well-being. I am not attempting to debunk the whole idea of what self-esteem is or isn’t. I might, however, be suggesting a paradigm shift in how self-esteem is discussed clinically and in general.

We all do what we do in pursuit of something better than what we have and what we are. If what we have are feelings of physiological deprivation, we will seek a remedy to feel better. If we are feeling psychologically deprived and emotionally wanting and needy, we will seek a remedy to feel better. The need for remedy and gratification is not partial or respective of anyone. We are all addicts of pleasure and relief. It is in our nature to protect our innermost self to survive.

Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. James 1:14-15 (NLT)

If I am wounded I need and want healing. If I hurt I need and want relief from the pain. If I am tired I need and want relief from fatigue and weariness by way of relaxation and sleep. If I am anxious I need and want comfort from my anxiety. If I am immobilized by the pain of guilt and shame, then I need to escape the pain. My methods might be painful and destructive to myself and others but make no mistake; I was motivated by my need for something better than what I have and where I am at. And I care enough about myself to be about doing something about it.

The addict, the codependent, the approval seeker, the loner (isolated), the self-protector (insulated), the aggressor, the passivist, the ambitious, the greedy, the fearful, the anorexic, the bulimic, the compulsive eater, the compulsive liar, the victim, the villain, the wounded, the burdened, the lover, the hater, the giver, the taker… despite their differences, all have love for themselves and engage in thinking and behavior that reflect the regard they have for themselves. They each seek gratification of some form on some scale.

The behavioral distinctions between healthy love and sick love (otherwise known as hate) can be found in the following Scripture:

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature—motivated by sick self love—the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these… But the Holy Spirit—who inspires healthy self love—produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control… Galatians 5:19-23 (NLT)

Healthy love produces fruit while sick love produces sin, and sin when full grown gives birth to death. When we talk about sick love for one self, even the feeling of sick love is dark and ugly. Self hatred is the effect of sick love for one self. Whether this is for you or someone you know that is lost in self-destructive thinking and behavior, this matter of sick love versus healthy love of self is of crucial importance and could be a matter of life or death.

Beyond addiction and morally dysfunctional relationship nightmares is the very real problem of suicidal thinking and behavior. The notion that suicide is the ultimate act of morbid self hatred and disgust can be more fully realized in the light of self hatred produced by sick love of self. If it can be communicated to someone in danger of harming them self that perhaps he or she really does care and have concern even for him or her self, and that despite one’s denial of this truth, suicide is actually the desperate act of love, a very sick love for him or her self, maybe… just maybe… the person can be convinced that with help sick love can be converted into healthy love for self. Maybe there’s a chance to fend off a desperate act full of the uncertainty that lurks on the other side of such a desperate act of sick love. Escape from one thing through death might feel certain but escape from a thing is to enter in to something else far less certain; a frightful mystery.

So what really is important to having a healthy love of self?

Important to a healthy love of self is first extending the invitation to Perfect Love to be intimately involved in your life? It is the Spirit of the Living God in the person of Jesus Christ who is Perfect Love. It isn’t merely what He represents or what He can give to your life. He is Perfect Love.

7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

9 God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

11 Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. 12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.

13 And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. 14 Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 All who confess that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. 16 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.

18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 19 We love each other because he loved us first. 1 John 4:7-18 (NLT)

It is in relationship with Christ that we experience healthy love alive in our being. Please believe me when I say that it is not about being religious. Not at all. It’s about knowing Jesus who is Perfect Love. Healthy love is such a precious commodity these days when we are surrounded by such a prevalent culture of sick dysfunctional love.

If you or someone you know is struggling with this today, please share with them the evident truth laid out in this article. It is important to remove the stain of self-hatred and the notion that self hatred need be medicated by remedies that altogether destroy lives. Let it be said that self hatred is sick love and self pity feeding into misdirected misery by way of potions that do no more than to promote even greater misery. It serves no purpose other than increasing your pain and dissatisfaction. If you didn’t care about yourself you would be indifferent toward your inner self at the core and you’re not indifferent. No one is.

“I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference. Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends. Those who are victorious will sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat with my Father on his throne.” Revelation 3:19-21 (NLT)
.                                    .        (19) (1)
“Huh? I thought you said no one is indifferent but then here is this passage from Revelation and Jesus is saying to turn from your indifference.” Jesus is addressing a kind of indifference we might have when it comes to the commands and promises of God in relationship with Him. Because of pride and insecurities, I might not invest much into the life that God has for me. That might be turning a blind eye of indifference should I not know to believe in God because I’ve never really been informed. Should I not comprehend the truth about something I might not know to heed or adhere to what is being said about it. Things are said by people everyday that I do not care about because I simply don’t know to pay attention to them. But I am always paying attention to me on some level.

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7 (NLT)

Especially to someone raging on the inside with anger and hostility; for someone who is afraid to put their head down knowing they can’t sleep with the tumult spinning their thoughts into the deep, or afraid to wake up to the isolated loneliness that comes with another day; Jesus is asking for a chance to calm that sea and ease that burden. If only you would let him in. He is able and will bring peace to a weary heart, and joy to a troubled spirit.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:2-5 (NLT)

Let Perfect Love into your life and see what happens. Notice how the spirit of fear in you is changed into something courageous. Wouldn’t it be something if that bitterness your carry turns sweet and you literally sense all that inner resentment melt away as you grow in unveiling wisdom that allows you to see things as they really are from a much “higher” perspective. Wouldn’t it be something to be renewed into something far better than you are that allows you to once again see yourself as God sees you. How does He see you? He looks at you and sees Perfect Love alive within you; seeing the presence and beauty of Jesus all over you. Allow God to renew your mind and restore your joy.

caterpillar-to-butterfly.1Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 (NLT)

The original Greek word for transform is ‘metamorphoo’ from which we get the word metamorphosis. It is the word that means for a caterpillar to change into a butterfly. You might feel sluggish. You might feel heavy and ugly in your spirit. Let God change your mind about yourself. Let Him help you to love yourself again with a healthy love, which you already read produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. What if you believed these things about yourself. Not only would your love for you be healthy but you could love God from a healthy place and love your neighbor with healthy love since you love your self that way.

Wow. Wouldn’t it be something.

Guilt & Shame, Scabs & Scars (Recovery from Your Past)

By Steven Gledhill, for FREEdom from MEdom Project


For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:19 (NLT)

Jesus Christ came to earth to identify with the human experience, to die as a sacrifice for our self-centered ‘me’dom problem. Nailed to the cross with Jesus was every mistake we ever committed. Jesus was wounded severely with gaping wounds wide open as he bled and died. With his wounds untreated, Jesus was buried in the grave, his body broken, entombed by man’s sin. For three days, the Bible says, the soul of the Sympathetic Savior bore the anguish of all of our guilt and shame.

But then something happened. The wounded soul and body of Jesus was healed and restored; resurrected into new life. When Jesus showed himself to his friends and family, they struggled to believe it. So as proof, Jesus showed them his scars. Now his wounds were healed. Scars are healed wounds, evidence of something that was at one time extremely painful. The evidence of your past is plain to see in your scars but your wounds are healed because of Christ’s suffering. By his scars you are healed and restored, though you may struggle to believe it. The memories of your past need not own you.

There is a clear distinction that needs to be drawn between guilt and shame. Scripture is clear in identifying our responsibility for our sinful attitudes and behavior. We have all sinned and fallen short of God’s standards. Our sin has resulted in the reality of decline, decay, and death. Decline is unavoidable; decay is inevitable; death is imminent. We are guilty of sin and responsible for its consequences.

The awesome truth about God’s grace is that Jesus paid our eternal debt for sin and that we are set free from its ultimate consequences. It is fact that I need only believe in relationship with Jesus Christ for forgiveness of sin that I will spend eternity in fellowship with Christ as a member of His family. When I accept this fact into my life then God is faithful to exercise His grace and my eternity with Him is sealed. My guilt, which is my responsibility, is paid in full.

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. Psalm 103:12

When I confess my sin, God is faithful and just to forgive me (1 John 1:9). In other words, whenever I am arrested (metaphorically speaking) and brought in by my accuser for questioning, justice has already been served (Christ paid it) and the judge says that I am free to go—every single time. So why do I wrestle so with my guilt?

We tend to lose perspective about guilt. What I mean is that guilt in itself is a point of recognizing and confronting mistakes and unhealthy behavior. We are indeed responsible for our behavior. When we are guilty of making mistakes or causing harm, we have an opportunity to learn from our mistakes and grow in character and maturity.

“That is all well and good that you say God has forgiven me, and has taken me back into relationship with him, but if he really knew the awful things I have done, he would not accept me.” Have you ever felt like that? Shame is borne out of unmet and failed expectations. Whose expectations? Ultimately, it is our own unmet and failed expectations that result in our judgment of ourselves that lead to feeling shame. So many of us cannot forgive ourselves and believe that if we cannot forgive ourselves, how can God forgive us?

While guilt is an opportunity for learning and growth, shame is the distorted internalization of guilt that advances the over-personalizing of our mistakes and wrong doing. What is meant by “over-personalizing” is that if we absorb the guilt into the core character of who we are until we believe we have become the thing we are guilty of—that it somehow defines us. So when guilt says, “I did something wrong,” the evil scheme of shame is to utter, “I can’t do anything right.” When guilt says, “I did a bad thing,” shame says, “I’m a bad person.” When guilt says, “I made a mistake,” shame says, “I am a mistake.” When guilt can admit wrong and say, “I am sorry, please forgive me,” shame insists, “I am unforgivable.” Our shame screams at us, “Loser!” until we believe it about ourselves.

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”
2 Corinthians 7:10

Godly sorrow is healthy responsible conviction of sin that leads to repentance and growth. Worldly sorrow is shame stuck in the mire of failed expectations that promotes decline, decay, and ultimately death. The devil is a roaring lion seeking who he may devour and he uses shame as teeth to rip us to shreds.

A great deal of shame is felt in the open wounds of our past. We seem to make progress in putting the past behind us and then something happens or something is said that rips the wound wide open again. This occurs when the wound hasn’t healed quite yet. These are scabs that have dried up enough so that we can function in our circumstances and relationships, but as soon as the scab is met with some friction, we’re a bloody mess again. Scripture tells us that God has removed our sin as far as the east is from the west, an infinite separation. It’s time to let go of what God has Himself let go of in your life—that being past mistakes. He has declared you innocent. He has fully reinstated you as an heir to all that is His (Luke 15:11-31—the story of the restored prodigal).

What exactly are scars? Scars are evidence of healed wounds. You can see the mark of the wound but it no longer owns you. Healed wounds are rendered powerless by the grace of God as we experience freedom in surrendered (body, mind, heart and soul), committed relationship with Jesus Christ.

What we must learn is that when we live according to God’s expectations, according to what the Bible says about His expectations, we need only to let go of our own failures and rest in the compassionate mercy of our Sympathetic Savior (Hebrews 4:14-16). When we approach the throne of God where Jesus sits (He’s not on the cross anymore), confident in our relationship with Him, then He replaces our guilt with His peace.

“When our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts.” (1 John 3:20)

Caged by Shame (Redemptive Healing)

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project

The two-headed enemy of recovery is our sin nature and the devil himself. This enemy had a baby, and called it ‘shame’. Shame sets out to hold recovering sin addicts in captivity. Shame is a sinister device of the devil that fans the flame of slavery to addictive sin and all of its consequences. As we determine to hold on to memories of the past that lead to our sorrow, the result is the sabotage of restorative recovery. There is no doubt that we have all made mistakes and need to claim responsibility for our behavior. However, there needs to be a clear distinction between guilt, which when addressed properly can lead to repentance and growth; and shame, which takes self-obsessed addicts into a cycle of failure that is ultimately fatal. Shame is the filter that distorts thoughts and feelings leading to destructive behavior and harmful consequences.

I treated a client that I will call Deloris, who was sexually and emotionally abused in her pre-adolescent years. She had been bound up for years with bitterness and unforgiveness due to the horrific memories that had caused her deep indelible pain, leaving her with open wounds for more than twenty years. Over the course of a year or so, Deloris had been drinking hard liquor heavily on a daily basis. She effectively hid her alcohol use so that her family did not know the severity of her problem. Her husband did not comprehend that his wife had this secret.

Her painful past made it difficult to be vulnerable to the people she loved. In moments when she would relive memories of her past in her thoughts, Deloris would tend to take it out on whoever came into her path. As she spent more time struggling with memories, she drank to numb the pain brought on by bitter hateful feelings leading to vengeful thoughts and verbally abusive behavior. She vented her inner rage on people mercilessly about things that did not matter much. Deloris hated that she did this to people who had nothing to do with her past. Alcohol became a friend to her. Drinking seemed to help for a spell, but she was becoming more and more stuck in the addictive process of self-medicating trying to minimize whatever pain she was feeling so that she might not inflict so much pain on those she cared about.

While in treatment, Deloris and her family bought a dog, a cute little puppy I’ll call Candi. She was thrilled to be able to love and care for Candi. Deloris had not had a drink in almost three weeks since beginning treatment, but remaining sober was difficult. Treatment was intense. Candi, this new friend in Deloris’s life, gave her something else to do to occupy idle time. However, Candi had a problem. This puppy relieved herself constantly and would make messes all over Deloris’s house. They would let Candi outside to do her business, but then when she came back in they had to keep her in a cage so that she would not make that kind of mess all over the house. The puppy still managed to mess up her cage, which did not adequately contain her mess, and which seemed to spread through the cage onto the kitchen floor, cabinets, etc. Even after making her mess outside, she came back in and promptly went another round while in her cage. Deloris reported that, while her husband and pre-adolescent son were patient and understanding, they agreed as a family that it was all quite disgusting. As much as Deloris loved her pup, her nerves were wearing thin. She was constantly cleaning up after the dog’s mess. Anyone who attempted to get involved with cleaning Candi’s mess tended to get messed up as well.

After a week or two of this pattern of Candi messing herself up and everyone else who got in her way, Deloris and her husband decided to get rid of the cage to see how Candi might manage without the cage. Candi immediately stopped relieving herself in the house after doing her business outside. It turns out that the only time Candi made messes in the house around the family was when she faced the prospect of having to re-enter her cage. When Deloris and her husband got rid of Candi’s cage, she was rid of the mess. Getting rid of the cage, though, was not easy. It required risk, which involved a process of letting go of what seemed to be their only means of containing the mess from spreading through the house.

This discovery led to a therapeutic revelation in treatment. Deloris was making a mess whenever she re-entered the cage of her past. When she dwelled on a feeling linked to a painful memory, Deloris made a mess on herself and on anyone else who happened to be around while she was in her cage of painful memories. Anyone who thought they could help her while she was in her cage would get messed on as my client relieved herself, metaphorically speaking of course, all over them, including her husband and son.

While in treatment, Deloris realized she needed to ask God to help her to let go of the shame of her past and exit her cage of shame. Deloris would always remember her past, but God could and is helping her to let go of the ongoing bitterness and anger that she’s been carrying. She was also holding onto the shame of things that she was led to believe about herself. Our last session was the week of Good Friday and we were able to focus on letting go of something she was powerless to manage on her own, and allow Jesus Christ to take it to the cross with him, so she could be free to live and love those who have faithfully loved her through such a difficult time in her life.

As you recognize you are powerless to change the past and are able let go of the thing that has imprisoned you, and trust God to release you from your cage of shame, he promises to fill the void. The love, peace, and joy of God can replace the pain of your past. You are allowed to make mistakes with knowledge and understanding that you are forgiven. When the love of God is alive in you, you can experience conviction in your heart that helps you to learn and grow from a mistake, even a painful mistake.

The Problem of Pain… A Study of the Father’s Discipline

by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom for MEdom Project

also, consider reading the sequel to this article, Doubt in the Madness of the Perfect Storm

There is physical pain, psychological pain, and spiritual pain. Jesus said that we are to love God body, mind, heart, and soul. But when we wander off course, we do so physically, cognitively, behaviorally, and spiritually. Sometimes it becomes necessary for God to do what is needed to get us back on course to keep us from running away from home. And sometimes it hurts… sometimes it hurts a lot.

“The human spirit will not even begin to try to surrender self-will as long as all seems to be well with it. Now error and sin both have this property, that the deeper they are the less their victim suspects their existence; they are masked evil. Pain is unmasked, unmistakable evil; every man knows that something is wrong when he is being hurt.” —C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Since I originally wrote this article, I have found myself in a situation that will challenge my faith in the midst of intense pain and injury. It is difficult to understand and accept what God intends to reveal to me and how he intends to challenge me.

One thing I am learning these days is that the faith I feel can be different from the faith I know. I know intellectually and spiritually that God loves me and that he is faithful. I am coming to believe that when I feel doubt and anxiety that it is different from the doubt, divided loyalty, and double-mindedness the apostle James speaks of in the New Testament. Even upon hearing from the Lord, while feeling assurance talking about it with my pastor, I experience feelings of intense anxiety and fear at various times throughout my day. But what I know to be true in what I heard and saw from God is the grace that allows me to sleep soundly when my emotional mind is unconscious and not driving thoughts.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. James 1:5-8 (NLT)

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. James 1:5-8 (NIV)

The way the narrative goes in this passage, it reads like God will punish you if you doubt and will choose not to bless you, protect you, deliver you, or provide for you. I don’t think that is how this passage is to be interpreted. I don’t think God’s ego is such that He is offended if you doubt, so He will turn His back on you in a huff. Rather, should I doubt in what God can do, why would I expect to receive from Him what in my mind He cannot or will not do?

I believe that James is writing that God does not find fault with my emotionally-driven fear and anxiety when I come seeking from Him everything from wisdom to a miracle. Because should I doubt God’s ability to engage, work, and move in my circumstances due to an intellectual conclusion of disbelief that God is God, and I turn to alternative remedies to manage fear and anxiety, then I am wavering and in the gusty winds of divided loyalty. It is then I am double-minded and unstable in pursuit of feeling a sense of resolution. It is then that I am lost like sheep without a shepherd. While James writes then that I ought not to expect to receive anything from the Lord it doesn’t mean that I won’t receive from Him. James is speaking about my state of mind. He is saying that I will have lowered my expectations of what God can and will do. Especially if I have committed to something or someone other than God, why would I expect to receive from God?

I’ll say it again… If I have concluded that I probably will not receive much, if anything from God, why would I expect to receive much, if anything from God? It’s a reasonable hypothesis. There really won’t be any relief from pain, fear, and worry should I altogether not believe in what God can do. It’s common sense at that point. I’m an emotional mess from the empty conclusions I have drawn intellectually about what God can and will do. Absent is the hopeful anticipation of Godly intervention that would calm my nerves and speak to my spirit.

Thank God I believe intellectually and spiritually in what God can do. Too often, though, I question my faith because I doubt on an emotional level. I need to stop the practice of riding my feelings until I feel guilty that I doubt God. I feel guilty doubting God because of what I know and believe intellectually (in relationship with Christ) God can do; I struggle emotionally with what I believe God will do. Is He willing? Is there something wrong with me? I think that’s what it means to have faith in the midst of doubt because of the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen (Hebrews 11:1). What I feel isn’t necessarily a reflection of what I know. What I doubt emotionally isn’t necessarily a reflection of what I know intellectually and believe spiritually.

Things unseen… hmmm. You know what? God loves me so much that the other day to confront my fear and worry, He gave me something I could see. It was a visible practical manifestation that God is at work in the process. While in the midst of a “mini-crisis” that wasn’t really a crisis at all, my 90 plus-year-old mother-in-law told me she was praying that God is faithful. I responded sarcastically with my real crisis in mind, “We’ll see” (wondering what God is up to that this crisis is happening at all in the first place). When the “mini-crisis” was averted inexplicably, as I shared it with my wife, she said, “My mom prayed.” Instantly I broke down and wept as the Holy Spirit of God reminded me to trust Him to be at work in the process. I shared my experience with a dear counselor friend who told me, “God gave you something tangible that you can hang your hat on.” So I know that the Lord does not find fault when I feel doubt and confusion driving my fear. And I did receive from Him because He loves me. My real crisis lives on painfully and while I may struggle from time to time emotionally, intellectually I am certain that God is able and willing. I am trusting in the process of His work in my life as I endure through the problem of pain.

As you read this and consider the injurious nature of your own pain and struggle, take caution not to trust your emotional reaction that may suggest to you that you lack faith because of emotionally-driven doubt. If you are dealing with pain and crisis while you read this, be careful not to get caught up emotionally that bad things are happening in your life because God has judged you and is punishing you. This is about the discipline of a LOVING FATHER for children He loves and nurtures and blesses generously from a place of compassionate grace and MERCY.

But just like discipline can be painful in the short term, the long term benefit and ultimate reward is immeasurable and unimaginable. God is in the process of working. He is working in the process. Trust in the process of God’s work. (I am writing this to myself as I am writing it to you.)

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)

Are you ready for it? Let’s go.

“Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces; now he will heal us. He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds. In just a short time he will restore us, so that we may live in his presence. Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.” Hosea 6:1-3 (NLT)

“We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world… No doubt pain as God’s megaphone is a terrible instrument; it may lead to final and unrepented rebellion. But it gives the only opportunity the bad man can have for amendment. It removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of the rebel soul.” —C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

I have typically struggled with the notion that the loving compassionate God who paid a rich ransom to save me would turn around and deliberately punish me. I figured that there were natural consequences to my selfish sinful behavior and I have been accepting of such consequences; even though I might dread that real life consequences are on the way. I have lived by the precept that I ought humble myself or be humbled by the just and jealous God. While I may not like it, I ought discipline myself or be disciplined by the righteous and holy God.

I don’t like it… I don’t like it at all. Isn’t it enough that life on planet earth has its share of pain? Is it true that God would inflict pain against me? Does God do that?

“The world is a dance in which good, descending from God, is disturbed by evil arising from the creatures, and the resulting conflict is resolved by God’s own assumption of the suffering nature which evil produces.” —C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

The Good Shepherd

This is inspired by the sermon I heard in church this morning. Pastor Aaron Koehler talked about how sheep that would continually go its own way, venturing from the flock into dangerous territory despite the efforts of the shepherd to redirect the sheep, would have its legs broken by the shepherd. ......good shepherd (2)The shepherd would then bind the legs together like a splint to begin the healing. While the sheep was healing and couldn’t support its own weight to walk, the shepherd would carry the sheep until it would walk on its own willingly following the lead of its shepherd. The difference is that while being carried during the time of healing it is essential that the sheep fully depends on the leading of the good shepherd.

As I spoke with Pastor Aaron after the service it hit me. Oh, how I love it when it comes like that. Here it is… Jesus was slain from the foundation of the world. Jesus Christ was the lamb who’s legs may have literally been broken, not because he was wandering astray but because I was heading for hell—eternal pain. Jesus stepped in front of that roaring train of eternal death, his legs may have have broken on the cross. (I say Christ’s legs may have been broken because Scripture points out only that the criminals dying on crosses on either side of Jesus did have their legs broken, to disable the ability to breathe, hastening death by suffocation for burial before Passover. Most likely, Jesus had already died of a broken spirit.) I suppose it could be said that as Jesus carried his cross that he carried the sins of mankind upon his shoulders; our legs broken to arrest us from sin so that the debt of sin could be paid as Jesus took our pain and suffering so that we could be set free. ...... jesus carrying crossHe had already been beaten and would go on to experience excruciating pain, even that of condemnation for three days and nights.

Torn apart, injured and disabled in the belly of the earth, the loving Father of the Son carried him from the depths of hell all the way to the throne of grace at His right hand. This Son had not experienced grace until He became grace for you and for me. Grace for Jesus required immeasurable pain. Sometimes grace for you and me requires measurable pain in this lifetime so that we can be absolutely free of pain throughout eternity.

“We are, not metaphorically but in very truth, a Divine work of art, something that God is making, and therefore something with which He will not be satisfied until it has a certain character.” 
—C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

One of my least favorite scriptures is Hebrews Chapter 12 that speaks to God’s discipline like that of a loving father from a heart of love for his child.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Hebrews 12:1-2 (NLT)

While that is encouraging and inspiring, it doesn’t solve the problem. I am the sheep that keeps wandering off doing my own thing my own way. My sin won’t kill me. Jesus took care of that. I have been justified by faith in relationship with Him. But from time to time sin trips me up; sometimes much more easily than it should considering my sincere claim to love God and abhor evil. I am meant in Christ to be victorious as I run the race, enduring the aches and pains that come from running. But when I take my eyes off the Shepherd I drift into dangerous territory that I suppose could be quite painful in this lifetime in the flesh. I don’t know. Is it possible that I could drift so far off course that I might reject Christ? Is it possible? I sure hope not but God would know.

Maybe the Spirit of God is communicating to me what Jesus said to the man he had healed from paralysis when he encountered him drifting astray around the pagan temple. Either way, the Good Shepherd intervenes by whatever means necessary to put me back on course with the rest the flock running toward the ultimate reward. What did Jesus say to the man he had healed?

Afterward Jesus found him in the Temple and told him, “Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.” John 5:14 (NLT)

I have always thought that Jesus meant that “something worse” is the death of eternal suffering. That is likely what he meant. But what if he meant that it wasn’t enough that the Good Shepherd broke the man’s legs to prevent him from certain destruction until Jesus would intervene? . . . Lamb-on-Shoulders (2)What if Jesus meant that it might require even harsher discipline to save the man’s life once healed?

“The problem of reconciling human suffering with the existence of God who loves, is only insoluble so long as we attach a trivial meaning to the word ‘love’ and look on things as if man were the center of them.” —C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

So the Bible is clear that Jesus is my Shepherd, apparently willing to break my legs if that’s what it takes to keep me on course. Scripture tells me—warns me—to keep my eyes on Jesus lest something worse happen to me. While the “something worse” may not be eternal suffering and pain, it could very well be something that could really wreck my life in terms of the quality of this lifetime here on earth.

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on. You knew these jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come in and live in it Himself.” —C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

The Loving Father

And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said,

“My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and don’t give up when he corrects you.
For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”

As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. Hebrews 12:5-11 (NLT)

So if my Heavenly Father is motivated by love, what am I so afraid of when it comes to a loving father disciplining his child? Perhaps it’s because my dad was motivated by love when he disciplined me growing up, and there is no doubt that there were times when I know he was angry as he tore me up. He was not abusive but definitely adhered to the proverb “spare the rod, spoil the child.” What I think tore me up more was that I disappointed by dad. Letting him down was the injurious effect on me from my dad’s discipline. As a child I didn’t understand that to not discipline his son would suggest that the father didn’t love his son; to the extent that he would have rejected and disowned me. My father’s discipline was indeed evident proof that my dad loved me and that I was indeed his.

Would God Do That?

As Pastor Aaron was making impassioned points about the relationship between God’s discipline and His love for us I could here my young friend offering quiet affirmations under her breath as she applied the meaning to her life. My friend is in her late twenties. A few years back she needed a ride home and was involved in a horrific car accident. Not wearing her seat belt, she was thrown from the driver’s side back seat to the passenger’s side back seat. It’s been reported that her head hit the closed door so hard it popped the door open and she was catapulted from the vehicle. She was kept in a coma for a couple of weeks while the swelling in her brain gradually subsided. Her brain stem was crushed. If she lived, it was likely she would be paralyzed and not walk again. There was so much prayer for her.

The reason she needed a ride home is that she was too drunk to drive. She was often too drunk and high. An extremely impulsive young lady, while in her early twenties she was heavy into drugs and alcohol; following in the footsteps of her alcoholic mother and stepfather. She hadn’t had much of a relationship with her biological father. She was definitely on course for destruction and doom.

When she was a young girl, my wife and I had opportunity to take her to church. It was something she wanted to do. By the time she was in high school, though, all that had changed. She had gone her own way. Whenever we saw her she was friendly and it was clear that she was fond of us. We were fond of her and prayerfully concerned for her. She would become increasingly distant as she sank deeper and deeper into her addiction.

Even her alcoholic mother was praying for her in earnest as she was laid up in a hospital bed following the accident. While in the hospital she woke up. She could not speak or walk. She needed help for everything. She would be in the hospital and then rehab for several months. Eventually she would talk and even walk. Her gait isn’t the most steady, she uses a cane for assistance, but her life is a walking, talking miracle. She is even driving and has been for a couple of years now.

So how do you think she responded to the scripture from Hosea that reads “He has torn us to pieces… He has injured us”? Honestly, as I sat next to her, I had not considered how this message applied specifically to her. But then the pastor read this passage as it was printed on the large screen behind him:

“When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son.
But the more they were called, the more they went away from me.
They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images.
It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms;
but they did not realize it was I who healed them.
I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love.
To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them.”

Hosea 11:1-4 (NIV)

Pastor Aaron drove home the point that God does what He does as a Father to His children (tearing down the parts of us that our leading us to ruin) so that He can remake us into something so much better than we were. I heard her respond very quietly, “Yes”. When he stressed the need for our Father’s discipline, she said affirmatively, “In His own way.” Wow! She gets it. In the past year, she is back in church, she’s been baptized in water, and has grown into something beautiful and special as a woman who loves her Savior and everything that comes with that.

Did God really do that to her? Did God deliberately put this young lady in harm’s way to be literally torn apart, put through so much pain and struggle, still injured to the extent that she struggles continually each day of her life? I would hate to think so. I am very uncomfortable with that. Most people would be. Only a cruel judgmental punishing God could do something like that, right? But she seems to be resolutely comfortable with that. She believes that God either allowed or put her through all of it to save her life forever. Only a loving Father would go to such lengths to save the life of HIS child for all eternity.

Many of his disciples said, “This is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it?” Jesus was aware that his disciples were complaining, so he said to them, “Does this offend you? Then what will you think if you see the Son of Man ascend to heaven again? The Spirit alone gives eternal life. Human effort accomplishes nothing. And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But some of you do not believe me.” (For Jesus knew from the beginning which ones didn’t believe, and he knew who would betray him.) Then he said, “That is why I said that people can’t come to me unless the Father gives them to me.” At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?” Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:60-69 (NLT)

To my friend, the Good Shepherd and loving Father broke her legs because she was so insistent on running directly into certain destruction apart from the goodness of His grace. Remarkably, she is comfortable with that! She recognizes that the loving Father put His Son through so much more so that all she would have to face is an earthly tragedy that brought her back into the fold. She loves her Heavenly Father for doing that for (not against) her.

Loving Each Other

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. Hebrews 12:15 (NLT)

The Hebrews writer is on to something. He is saying that the root of bitterness is a poison that is so powerful that someone may even resist the grace of God overcome by resentment. I suppose one way to buffer the discipline of my loving Father is to become vulnerable and entrust my character flaws to the judgment of others that I trust to be honest and forthright with me. The strongest, most righteous God fearing, God loving person is most vulnerable to the forces of jealousy and resentment. The ego is most fragile for any human being and we often do not realize when we are most tempted to go to those places that can cripple a person. The concern and support of a brother or sister operating in the love of Jesus will save me from myself if I submit myself into accountability to a few people I know I can trust. In the recovery field we would call this person a sponsor; a mentor and friend in recovery. Part of self-discipline is a willingness to submit to the discerning wisdom one who knows me and has sincere concern for me.

He is God, I am Not

“The proper good of a creature is to surrender itself to its Creator—to enact intellectually, volitionally, and emotionally, that relationship which is given in the mere fact of its being a creature. When it does so, it is good and happy.” —C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

What I believe is that God is God and I am not. I need to live as though God is God, I am not, and from a heart of love my Heavenly Father will discipline me as a loving father would. But being that I have grown, it is time to put away once and for all childish things. That doesn’t mean I can’t have a good time. It means I don’t have to indulge in mischievous and deviant folly to have a good time. God created fun! He came up with joy and happiness! He is satisfaction! Why can’t I experience contentment in the joy and happiness that comes in bringing Him pleasure? I want to experience authentic unencumbered joy.

I need a shepherd to keep me on course. I need discipline to direct and guide me and keep me in the fold. You need a shepherd to direct and guide and keep you in the fold. While we are healing from the wounds of the Shepherd’s discipline we are more likely to fully depend on the lead of the Good Shepherd. Understand, if we are so headstrong as to breach the sensibility of a righteous life into the very best of God’s plan and purpose for us (for our benefit), He will do whatever it takes to keep us close to Him… whatever it takes. We may appear to be lost from time to time; but then the Good Shepherd searches for us until we are found. That is amazing grace.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil; For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.
Psalm 23 (NKJV)

“If tribulation is a necessary element in redemption, we must anticipate that it will never cease till God sees the world to be either redeemed or no further redeemable.” —C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Consider reading the sequel to this article, Doubt in the Madness of the Perfect Storm

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