by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project
I had a client that I will call Mike. Mike is a recovering drug abuser with a bipolar condition that causes him severe anxiety. While medication certainly helps, Mike will from time to time carve things into his flesh. These carvings and brandings are severe enough that they leave very definite scars. When he was incarcerated for awhile, Mike burned and carved things into his skin in front of fellow inmates. He says this served a purpose because a man burning and bloodying his body was capable of anything. Prisoners were a bit weary of Mike and left him alone. Even though some were rapists and murderers, they saw Mike as the one that was insane.
Not self-inflicted… for visual purposes from Google Images
One of these self-inflicted tattoos was a carving that spelled out the word ‘SINNER’ in capital letters. Mike could look at the word ‘SINNER’ on his arm and be reminded that he is a sinner. It was a reminder to him who he is in contrast to who Jesus is. Mike could go to God and thank him, that while he was a sinner, God sent his only Son, Jesus, to die as a sacrifice for his sins.
I was talking to Mike about the difference between guilt and shame, and while Mike was indeed a sinner, Jesus died to erase the sin and shame from his life, wiping the slate clean. I went on to share with Mike how the Bible says in Romans that Jesus came in the likeness of sinful flesh, and that he was condemned in the flesh on account of our sin. I shared with Mike that he is no longer a prisoner of sin since Christ’s sacrifice removed his sin as far as the east is removed from the west. I told Mike that when God sees him, he no longer sees a ‘SINNER’ but that he sees a reflection of his son Jesus.
Mike interrupted me as I was talking about this to say that his ‘SINNER’ tattoo had healed and disappeared, and he was considering carving it in there again. He showed me his arm. The only letter that was still legible was the letter ‘S’, which was clear and boldly imprinted in his skin. The ‘INNER’ was healed—erased. Mike said he didn’t understand it. He carved ‘INNER’ as deeply into his arm as the ‘S’, graphically describing for me the carving process. I asked Mike, considering our discussion about the absolute forgiveness of his sin, what happened to the ‘INNER’ on his arm. “I guess he took it away,” Mike replied with assurance. In the eyes of his Lord and Savior, Mike is no longer a ‘SINNER’ but is cleansed and set free. But as Mike said, referring to God, “He left the ‘S’”, I asked him what the ‘S’ might stand for now. Mike said, “Saved… Salvation… (His) Son.”
But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:9 (NLT)
The other thing Mike stated, emphatically, is that since he has been praying and focusing on the power and will of God in his recovery, that not only does he not have the urge to use alcohol or drugs, but that God has taken from him the urge to carve into himself. He still kind of wants to, but he does not have to. Even though self-mutilating behavior has been effective in raising endorphins, therefore lowering anxiety, Mike knows it is not the most beneficial and healthy means to address his addictive urges. Mike believes, as do I, that the Spirit of God removed the “INNER” from his arm to change his focus from what he was before to who he is now in Christ. He is learning to turn away from his addictive urges and to turn it all over to his ‘SAVIOR’. God desires that we come to believe who Jesus really is in order to receive all that he wants and has for us.
