{"id":1855,"date":"2011-10-22T18:26:31","date_gmt":"2011-10-22T23:26:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.freedomfrommedom.com\/member\/?p=1855"},"modified":"2011-10-31T18:32:58","modified_gmt":"2011-10-31T23:32:58","slug":"twirl-039-102011-understanding-problems-with-thinking-patterns","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.freedomfrommedom.com\/member\/lessons\/twirl-039-102011-understanding-problems-with-thinking-patterns","title":{"rendered":"TWIRL 039 (10\/22\/11): Understanding Thinking Problems"},"content":{"rendered":"

This Week In Recovery Lesson<\/span><\/h2>\n

Understanding Thinking Problems\u00a0<\/strong><\/h3>\n

President Barack Obama, in 2008, said the following: \u201cI was so obsessed with me and the reasons I might be dissatisfied that I couldn\u2019t focus on other people\u2026 Whenever I take wrong steps a lot of the times I protect myself instead of trying to do God\u2019s work.\u201d I\u2019m not sure whether he realized it or not, but this might be the most profound statement outside of Scripture speaking to the human condition that I think I\u2019ve ever heard. It\u2019s loaded with insight. It speaks of our addiction to self, failed or unmet expectations and its effect on us and our relationships, the adverse consequence of resulting behavior, the fear that drives us into self-preservation mode, and finally, the distraction from fellowship with God necessary to know and do His will.<\/span><\/p>\n

We all want that feeling of self-satisfaction even though we have never really experienced such a feeling. We tend to settle for instant gratification that comes through pleasure or relief. Instant gratification settles some immediate anxiety while it perpetuates (makes worse) our overall chronic anxiety. What we have experienced, and continue to experience is the feeling or sense of dissatisfaction. We experience dissatisfaction within our physical bodies, our thoughts and feelings, our circumstances, our relationships, and in the world. Such dissatisfaction is derived from unmet and failed expectations. <\/span><\/p>\n

The scope of these failed expectations can range from the discomfort of a mosquito bite to extreme physical pain; from not getting that bike as a kid to not getting the promotion you felt you were in line for; from being teased by a sibling or friend to physical, emotional and sexual abuse from a parent; from being stuck in traffic to being a victim of a crime; from catching a cold to falling prey to a debilitating disease; from that boy or girl not going out with you as a young person to the experience of divorce and custody battles. You get the idea.<\/span><\/p>\n

From our history of life experiences comes pain and sorrow, and guilt and shame. There is content in FFMP that delves deep into the differences between guilt and shame. Bottom line on the differences is that guilt represents behavior resulting in mistakes, wrongs, and harm that present the opportunity for learning, repentance, and growth. While shame\u2014the internalizing of harm and wrong to the point that it defines one\u2019s belief system, tends to lead to feelings of failure, sorrow, depression, and fear. Guilt allows a person to move forward while shame can completely paralyze and immobilize its victim.<\/span><\/p>\n

The problem is that the true picture of guilt and shame has been clouded by a plethora of fictional tales along the way that lead us to believethings about ourselves that are hardly the whole truth.\u00a0Let\u2019s look at a valuable tool for examining\u00a0the problem of irrational beliefs called REBT, Rational Emotive Behavioral Theory, by Albert Ellis.<\/span><\/p>\n

RATIONAL\u2014cognitive mind; thinking<\/span><\/p>\n

EMOTIVE\u2014emotional system; feeling<\/span><\/p>\n

BEHAVIORAL\u2014actions driven by thoughts and feelings<\/span><\/p>\n